Against the Odds: When Lies Once Told Bite Back
by MadeleineJade
Summary: ATO for short. This is an alternate New Moon. Edward and the Cullens are gone. A vindictive Victoria takes away all that Bella has left, including her humanity. She must leave Forks, but where can she go when she has no one left? All Vampire ExB
1. The Beginning of the End

**A/N I am not Stephenie Meyer and I do not own Twilight or any of the characters, but I am putting my own twist on them.**

**So I thought I'd post this to see what the interest for it would be like. This is a departure from my usual fluff and humor--no slap chopping or Carlton dancing here. I hope you like it anyway.**

**Summary: I know, it's a long title, but I'm calling it ATO for short. This is an alternate New Moon. Edward and the Cullens are gone. Edward left Bella in the forest for the same reasons as in the book, but she hasn't started hanging out with Jacob yet, though they are friends. A vindictive Victoria takes away all that Bella has left, including her humanity. Bella must leave Forks, but where can she go when she has no one left? All vampire. EdwardxBella**

**Thanks to Phantom-writer3739 and her MAD beta skills. She's off the chain awesome. As always, GREAR (Go, Read, Enjoy and Review).**

**Prologue & Chapter 1: The Beginning of the End**

The torrential rain in Forks was nothing new to come back to. It matched my mood to be sure. Well, not my mood, but my way of being. I would have given anything to be living in Jacksonville right now. Anything. Because, despite my tremendous reluctance and refusal to move there, it would have meant that my mother and Phil were still alive.

"It was a gas leak, Bells," were the words Charlie had used to break the news to me. He was just as shocked as I was, but thankfully he was able to go with me to Florida to settle and execute Renee and Phil's wills. There was no visitation, no funeral. There was nothing left. If I could have worked up the energy to find an upside to this most recent blow to my heart it would be the fact that my college fund was actually existent now. A pretty pathetic upside considering all the downsides. The fund had come about thanks in no small part to a life insurance policy. Who knew Renee would be responsible enough to even look into a policy? Must have been Phil's influence. Not that I could think about school or future schooling anyway. I was lucky to get through each day as it was since that day in the forest.

Stupid. I castigated myself harshly as I was forced to close my eyes to stop the spinning and clench my jaw tightly to quell the ringing in my ears. I had the same reaction every time I thought about Edward leaving. Once more my body reminded me of the gaping chasm where my heart had once been and instinctively wrapped my arms around my torso, in a feeble attempt to hold myself together. I had to at least last until we made it home. I didn't want to worry Charlie any more. God knows I had put him through enough already.

I was a terrible daughter.

I heard Charlie blow out a long breath as he came to a stop in front of the train tracks. "Looks like a long one," he commented. It was the first thing he'd said since we left the airport coming back from Seattle.

I looked up and down the tracks trying to find the end of the train. Between the length of the train, the slight vertigo I was still experiencing and the hard rain I found that I just couldn't. I sighed and sank back into the passenger seat of Charlie's cruiser. I rested my head back, closing my eyes. It still hadn't fully sunk in that Renee was gone. Phil was gone. How could this have happened? I was losing people left and right. It was like I was cursed. A bitter smile twisted my lips. Danger magnet. My bad luck seemed to spill over to all those who knew me. He was probably right to leave me. I'd already caused them so much trouble.

Charlie's hand on my shoulder startled me out of my thoughts. "I miss her too, Bells," he said quietly.

I peered back at my father, still staring straight ahead at the train. He'd never really got over Renee, I recalled. Hell, I'd noticed the moment I moved back to Forks. She'd changed him irrevocably somehow. He'd always loved her no matter what she'd done to him. Was that a bad thing? I wasn't sure, but it was the truth. I wondered what it was like for Charlie those days, weeks, and months after Mom left. Did she leave him as broken as I felt when Edward left me? Did he feel as desolate and abandoned and unwanted? Had he become just as lifeless? The image of Charlie lying in bed, unmoving and broken hearted made my missing heart ache for him. How had I never thought of this before? Perhaps I simply couldn't comprehend the degree of agony that could be inflicted when the person you loved left you.

I didn't have that problem anymore.

But somehow he'd managed to keep going. He actually created a life for himself. A pretty good life really. A little lonely and quiet at times but still. I suddenly found a new appreciation for Charlie, and I hoped I had some of his strength in me. Perhaps I too could get better. The love would still be there, but I could somehow go on. Probably.

I placed my hand over his and it was tiny in comparison. Just like when I was a child, ignorant about the agonies of lost love. "It's just us now, Dad," I murmured allowing a few tears to fall. Those were the first tears I had shed since finding out about Renee and Phil. I was too in shock before to feel anything else. But sitting there with Charlie, with the ghosts and memories of loved ones around us, with the empathy I could finally feel for Charlie, I was able to feel again, albeit very slightly. I also felt the need to tell him, "Love you, Dad," I cried softly.

Charlie gave my shoulder another slight squeeze. "Love you too, Bells."

Those were the last words we'd say to each other.

**Chp 1 BPoV**

When the train cars started derailing, I froze. It was all so very surreal. One by one they started exploding and catching on fire. I learned later that they were carrying thousands of gallons of ethanol. There was no chance of survival.

I lied. Our "I love you's" weren't the last words we actually said to each other though they were the last heartfelt words we'd ever utter to one another. With the train cars toppling over and then exploding in front of us, and Charlie ordering me to get out of the car and run in the other direction, I hadn't noticed Laurent's approach. All I knew was Charlie hadn't even gotten out of the cruiser yet. In the time I had turned my head to see Laurent and then back to the cruiser, it was pushed towards the derailment and fire just as I was snatched up by his marble arms. His grip on me felt familiar, but they weren't the marble arms I had been used to. I screamed as the cruiser was engulfed in flames and another explosion.

"NO!" I cried. "Charlie! **NO!**"

I sobbed uncontrollably as the rain pelted my back. I had turned my face toward the chest of the person who had me cradled against them, not caring who it was at this point. All I knew was Charlie was gone, and I should have been with him. I felt the wind whipping through my hair. It was a familiar feeling, being carried on a run through the forest, but, again, the arms cradling me weren't familiar. When the realization hit me, I finally looked up and saw something that was familiar.

Laurent's red eyes were staring back at me.

"Hello, Bella," he smiled. "I'm sorry you had to see that." He took a deep breath in pulling in my scent. He licked his lips and swallowed. I knew that look. He was swallowing back venom.

I was suddenly trembling, looking up at him with fear evident in every fiber of my being. Laurent had slowed down a bit. The rain had let up to a light sprinkle. We were clearly miles from the accident, though I had no idea where. Ultimately, we got to a clearing and Laurent set me down.

I looked around. It was a clearing in the woods. My heart skipped a beat but then I realized it was not our meadow. I stood there unmoving as Laurent walked around me, circling his prey, I would imagine. All I could think at that point was that I wanted it to be over. If he was going to kill me, if this was going to end badly, as I assumed it would, I wanted him to do it quickly. I welcomed it. Everyone I loved was gone now. Finally when I thought I could possible keep living, it was all going to be over. Obviously fate hated me. She had to if she felt compelled to destroy my life every time I dared hope for something. But all I wanted was death now. At least then I'd get to be with my parents again.

"You smell delicious, Bella," Laurent grinned at me, apparently happy with his assessment of me. I closed my eyes and swallowed saying a silent prayer. A macabre laugh welled up in my throat as I thought I might at least be good as a meal even if I could never do anything else. But his next words cut it off before I could ever let it out. "No worries," he said. "I won't be experiencing the pleasure of feasting off you today. We have other plans, you see."

I opened my eyes in surprise at his words. "We?" I questioned.

Laurent chuckled. "She never got over what happened to her mate you know?" Laurent was shaking his head. "I had to promise to keep you for her, though I was supposed to get your father."

My eyes widened even more as if that were possible. "Victoria," I said, my voice nothing more than a horrified breath in the wind. But the name was like a scream in my head.

Laurent laughed again, but it wasn't an entirely happy sound. "Yes, her. But she keeps changing the plans on me. First, we were supposed to have your mother and step-father, but Victoria was so enraged with revenge, she wasn't thinking about feeding. That gas leak and fire was a snap decision on her part. Hell really hath no fury like a woman scorned, well, in her case James was destroyed. I didn't get to feed in Florida, and I still haven't gotten to feed here yet…until now." Laurent gazed at me hungrily. "I was surprised though. At the last moment she allowed me to take you myself...but keep you alive." He made a face as if he were thinking something over. Perhaps I should change the plans on Victoria now, no?" His French accent became thicker and more apparent as his eyes darkened and advanced on me.

I was still trembling imperceptibly, unable to speak. I just wanted him to get it over with already. I wanted to die. But I still wasn't keen on the idea of Victoria doing it. At least Laurent was fairly decent and would do it quickly. She would probably draw it out. Make me suffer.

Laurent was still circling me, creeping closer and closer, I relaxed slightly as I absorbed the knowledge of my impending demise and waited for him to pounce, but then his head whipped up in the other direction sensing someone or something's approach.

"Laurent," Victoria snarled as she crouched down, her feline form ready to pounce if he came any closer to me. "You were saying?" She grinned wickedly as she swiped a stray lock of fire red hair out of her eyes.

"I was just telling Bella about your perpetual change of plans," he replied nonchalantly. "It's just a little frustrating."

"You're venting to this frail human?" Victoria tilted her head in wonder at Laurent's answer. "What is the fascination with this…girl?" She crept closer to Laurent and me. "To get such seemingly strong vampires to chase her around the country, to try to protect her, to pour their non-existent hearts out to her. You are nothing, child," she sneered, finally addressing me through narrowed eyes. She sniffed the air, breathing in my scent. "But you are mine now." Now it was Victoria's turn to circle me. "Tell me, Bella, how does it feel to have everything you know taken from you? Ripped away from you right in front of your eyes? Do you have any idea how long James and I were together?" she asked, suddenly enraged. "Do you?" She screamed at me and I stared, mesmerized at the flames that seemed to dance in her eyes.

I shook my head in reply, still marveling at what surely must be the fires of Hell.

"Decades. Scores of years before your little coven took him away from me." She stared me down. "And where is your coven now, dear?" she bared her teeth in an approximation of a smile. "Who here is going to save you?" she cackled. "This is almost too easy, is it not, Laurent?"

Just do it already, I thought. I just wanted it over.

I wanted to die.

Victoria and Laurent looked up suddenly towards the trees. The looks they had on their faces indicated that they were not expecting anyone else. Their wide eyes conveyed they were most certainly not expecting whatever it was that was emerging from the woods.

My breath caught as, one by one, five freakishly large wolves materialized from the darkness of the trees. All were enormous, far larger than normal wolves would have been. Their eyes took in the three of us, noses flaring in and out as they caught our scents.

One particular wolf stood out from the rest. He appeared last from the trees, a handsome, russet colored animal with fur much longer and shaggier than the others. His eyes were slowly scanning the scene, and it seemed like they lingered on me longer than anything else, like I was of particular interest to him. Good, mark me now. Make my death quick and as painless as possible please, I thought as I stood there quivering in anticipation. Death was imminent and it was all around me. At least the wolves wouldn't be purposefully cruel. At least I would die fast.

Victoria and Laurent looked at each other as they processed what was happening. All I knew was that I was going to die today, somehow, sooner rather than later.

I was still brushing off the cobwebs of numbness from myself, but I think that at that moment I felt almost…glad.

Laurent backed up slowly then darted out of the meadow back into the woods. Two of the wolves took off after him. I didn't bother to move with Victoria on one side of me and three wolves, two of which were the largest in the pack, on the other.

Victoria sneered at me, an evil glint in her ruby red eyes. Before I could speculate on what she looked like she was about to do, she lunged onto me, knocking us both to the ground. My eyes opened wide, while my lips parted to let out a soft noise of surprise which grew in intensity until it turned into a blood curdling scream as Victoria sunk her razor sharp teeth into the base of my throat. I recalled an immediate burning…the burning was unbearable. One of the wolves lunged at us both and knocked Victoria off of me leaving me curled up on the ground writhing in pain as a fire spread slowly through my body. Victoria must have been able to run away because I heard the sound of several sets of enormous paw pads hitting the ground around me then past me before everything went completely black.

All that was left was the fire and my scream as it rose with each realization that hit me.

I was turning.

I was alone.

It was never going to end.

**A/N So, yeah, I have more...and it gets good (in my opinion anyway--of course I'm biased). Let me know what you think, and I'll update accordingly.**


	2. Newborn

**A/N I am not Stephenie Meyer and I do not own Twilight or any of the characters, but I am putting my own twist on them.**

**So are you intrigued yet? Here's the next installment. Thanks again to Phantom-writer3739 for beta'ing the hell out of my work. Okay, guys, GREAR.**

**Chapter 2: Newborn**

**BPoV**

My eyes were still closed, but I could hear things. I could hear…everything. A spider crawled up a tree about thirty feet away. Three leaves fell to the ground from the tree nearest me. I heard and felt the four paws of an animal approaching but then suddenly it turned into the sound of two large bare feet getting closer to me, probably only five hundred feet away. I could smell them or it or whatever it was. I contorted my face in disgust at the mixture of wet dog and sweaty gym socks odor emanating from the woods. I needed to open my eyes.

I was suddenly struck with color and light and detail. I looked around in wonder as I took in this new world. It was glorious. Everything had changed…or was it just me? I shook my head dazedly trying to get my bearings before looking around again. I was lying on the forest floor. Looking around me, it seemed familiar. I swallowed trying to rid the dry burning that was in my throat, but it wouldn't go away. Where was I? I tried to think back.

There was a fire and several explosions. Oh, god, Charlie. Charlie was gone. I automatically clutched my chest at the thought of my father, but I felt…nothing. My heart should have been going a mile a minute, but instead, there was…nothing.

I stared at my hands as I thought harder. I remembered that there were red eyes. Laurent…and Victoria. And the enormous wolves. One had pushed Victoria off of me. I quickly brought my right hand up to the base of my throat. Victoria had bitten me. I could feel the raised skin from scar tissue similar to what remained of the bite on my wrist from James. I swallowed again. The burning wouldn't dissipate. I was so thirsty. I was also confused. Had I really been turned?

"Bella?"

My head turned in the direction of the approaching feet. I knew that voice.

"Jacob?" I whispered, watching as his figure emerged. He was a lot taller than I remembered from when they found me in the woods. How long ago was that? He looked as if he'd grown about a half a foot and amassed another ten or so pounds in muscle.

He seemed a little hesitant and was careful not to get too close to me. I noticed he was making a face as well, like he smelled something bad. Maybe himself? He was also holding a pile of newspapers.

"How…um, are you okay?" he asked with furrowed brows. He definitely sounded concerned.

"Yeah, I think so. Do you know what happened, Jake?"

"Bella, I'm so sorry I didn't get her off of you in time." Jake was shaking his head and looked truly remorseful. "I'm sorry this happened."

"Jake, what do you mean you didn't get Victoria off of me in time? You weren't even there. There were these enormous…" I drifted off as I recalled something through the hazy film of memory; Jacob had once told me a story when we were walking on First Beach last year, when I was fishing for information about them. "…wolves," I finished quietly. The Quiluetes were descended from wolves, he had told me. No, not possible. But, then again, if vampires were real, why not werewolves?

It would certainly explain the dog smell.

"Was that you, Jake? The big reddish-brown one?" I knew there was something familiar about that one. I thought it was the eyes.

"Yeah," he nodded. "I'm so sorry, Bella." He sounded agonized. If I had any heart left it would have gone out to him in that moment.

"Jake, no!" I told him, horrified at the thought that he might beat himself up over this. "It's not your fault in the least! It was them, Victoria and Laurent…what happened to them? Did you guys…"

"The pack destroyed them. They're not a problem anymore," he told me gravely. "So, how do you feel?"

"Um," I swallowed again since the burning was still there. "Okay," I shrugged. "I always wondered what it'd be like to be a…"

"Don't say it, Bella," Jacob grimaced.

"…Vampire," I finished just as I saw Jacob tighten his hands into fists and clench his jaw. "Oh, Jake," I sighed as another realization hit me. The Cullens were an enemy clan, he had explained to me last year. Werewolves and vampires didn't get along. Well, obviously, since they destroyed Victoria and Laurent. The only reason the Cullens were able to stay here was because they made the treaty and only survived on the blood of animals. Wow. How did I remember details from a conversation from the previous year? I was amazed at how sharp my memory was. Even though the actual images and sounds were dim and obscure. Things recorded with senses far less sharp than I now had.

"Are we…enemies now?" I asked tentatively. "Do you hate me?" My voice was so low that no human would have ever heard it. I was…scared? Maybe. After all, I had no one else. How could I bare it if even Jacob hated me?

He shook his head. "No, not really. Let's not talk about that now. First, let's get you something to…eat?" he wasn't sure of the word for what I needed.

I nodded, "Yeah, I need to drink something," I looked at him and he looked back through narrowed eyes. "No, not you, Jacob. I don't want to drink your blood." I wrinkled my nose. "No offense, but you kind of stink."

"Well, you're no botanical garden yourself," he retorted as he slowly approached me once again, probably feeling safe since I had no desire to drink from him. "So, what do you want to be like the Cullens and only hunt animals? You want like a deer or something?"

I hadn't thought of that. Well, I hadn't had time to think about it yet. I hadn't thought about what I would drink or how I would even hunt. The thought of killing a person for blood completely nauseated me. There'd be no way I could do that, but I was quite thirsty. I thought back to what Laurent had said about wanting to feed on Renee, Phil, and Charlie. I couldn't murder someone else's parents for my selfish needs. But I'd never hunted a day in my life, well, my human life. "I don't think I could take down a deer," I confessed.

Jacob snorted, "What kind of blood sucker are you, Bella?"

I shrugged, "I don't know. A new one? I don't want to kill people to drink, Jake. That's what Laurent wanted to do to my parents, drink from them." I closed my eyes as I thought about my parents. A pang of hurt, sadness, and guilt combined pierced though me. Victoria and Laurent killed them. All for revenge? Then that meant it was all my fault. My family was dead because of me. I should be dead with them. Instead, I was, undead without them. I was undead without anyone. Well, except, it seemed for Jacob, but still, who knew how long he'd be around?

I felt like a murderess.

"Are you going to help me, Jake?" I asked almost…hopefully? It wasn't just a question about my immediate thirst and need to hunt, but a question regarding my future as a vampire. Even though I knew he was a werewolf and was supposed to destroy me by natural or rather, supernatural law, he was also my friend and I hoped that trumped all other universal and instinctual directives.

Jacob had his jaw set, thinking hard, possibly about the same factors I had weighed in my head before asking him. "Yeah," he said seriously and almost morosely, perhaps because he was going against his better judgment. "I have to help you."

"Really?" I asked incredulously. It was a long time since things had gone the way I'd hoped.

"Yeah, well, you've always been like family and it's sort of my fault that you're a leech now so…" he shrugged.

"Leech?" I asked narrowing my eyes at him. "I don't think I like that, dog," I sneered.

"What are you gonna do? Drink my blood?" he laughed.

I made a face, "No thanks. But what do you think about that rabbit over there?" I asked licking my lips and swallowing back venom.

"Oh, man, you're gonna kill Thumper?" Jacob asked shaking his head at me. "Who's next, Little Bunny Foo Foo? You're like a demonic Snow White now, aren't you?"

I ignored his jokes and insults since I was focused on my prey. In hindsight, the rabbit was a rather lame animal to start with, but I had no idea how I'd fare against a deer, which for some reason, definitely sounded more tempting than Thumper.

I somehow caught the rabbit. It really didn't take much effort on my part. All I did was lunge in the direction the rabbit was going and I got him. My dexterity and agility startled me. After spending over eighteen years being rather uncoordinated to the point of being borderline dangerous to myself and others, the nimbleness and grace that I now possessed were a little unsettling.

The problem was, once I was actually holding the rabbit, I felt terrible about having to kill it. Jake sensed my hesitation.

"Bells, just do it. You need to eat or drink or whatever. Plus, there's more where he came from. It's not like you're endangering the entire species."

"Okay," I whispered as I inspected the animal in my hands. I knew had to do it. Survival of the fittest right? I very quietly said I'm sorry to the innocent creature before quickly snapping his neck. I closed my eyes and sank my teeth into his throat pulling the warm blood into my venom-filled mouth and down my own throat, squelching some of the burning on its way down. Once I realized I literally sucked the rabbit dry, I dropped its limp body as I searched for another.

I caught three more in order to quench my thirst. They were larger, probably hares. I easily snatched them right up. It became increasingly easier to snap their necks and drink, but I still apologized to each animal before I drank from them. It was strange how I felt compelled to tell my prey I was sorry.

When I was done feeding, I stared at my small pile of dead woodland creatures wondering what to do with them. I really was a demonic Snow White. I noticed Jacob was looking at me and my dead rabbits with disdain.

I growled a little at his unspoken accusation. "Shut up and help me bury these," I snapped, stung. As if I didn't feel guilty enough.

"I didn't say anything," he said defensively.

I snorted. "No, but you were judging me. Don't. You're that and I'm this," I stated, referring to his wolf tendencies and my vampirism.

"Sure, sure," he said before we went to work to quickly dig a grave for the rabbits. There was a stream nearby so we went to wash our hands there.

"Where are we, Jake?" I asked curiously. Vampirism had pulled me out of my zombie phase. I couldn't afford to be numb anymore. I still hurt-oh God did I hurt-but I had so much else to think about. So much I had to learn.

"I don't know. There's a huge house nearby, but no one's home. No one's been there in a while, and this was far enough away from everything and everyone so no one would have been bothered or frightened by your…uh…change."

"Was it bad?" I had been in agony but I wasn't sure what I had done during my change. The pain –both physical and mental- had commanded all my attention.

Jacob thought a moment as we continued to walk aimlessly through the woods. "Well, it wasn't good. You seemed to be in a lot of pain, and I had no idea what to do except to let you be mostly. Don't you remember it?"

"I remember pain. A lot of pain. A lot of burning. I think I was thrashing around a bit…" I drifted off as I tried to remember.

"A bit?" Jacob snorted. "Yeah, Bella. Just a bit." He shook his head like he remembered something, probably the mess that was my transformation. "I'm just glad you're okay. Well, as okay as you can be I guess."

"And you?" I asked. "What's this whole werewolf thing about?"

"Well, I, we, wouldn't be phasing if you leeches, I mean bloodsuckers weren't around. We're just upholding the treaty my great Grandfather made and we're protecting the land." He sounded a little sour about this.

"So, you wouldn't have a need to be a werewolf if…"

"If there weren't any bloodsuckers. That's right," he finished for me.

"So," I hesitated before asking timidly "do you want me to leave then?"

Jacob sighed, closing his eyes. He looked almost tortured, like he was deciding on whether to or not to tell me something, something vital, something important. "You kind of have to, Bella," he informed me sadly. I looked at him questioningly, trying to appear calm as the dread built in my chest. "Well, it's just for the best that you leave."

For the best? "For who's best?" I asked. Inside my head a dark voice whispered to me that it was for their best, that they didn't want me, just like he didn't. Cursed, bad luck and a danger magnet. You bring trouble everywhere you go. The words rang in my ears and I tried desperately to shove them away.

Jacob shook his head sadly. "For everyone. Look normally, I'd have to kill you because we don't have a treaty with you, but you know I won't…"

"Could you?" I wondered aloud as I thought about how I really wasn't supposed to be here. Between the train derailment explosions and Laurent and Victoria. I shouldn't be walking this earth. I had no family left. The family that I wanted to be with left me ages ago, it seemed. My parents died because of me, and that wasn't fair for them. It should have been me all along. I wondered fleetingly that if I were dead or whatever became of vampires once they were destroyed, if I'd see my parents. I thought I'd probably had a good chance if I'd died as a human, but now…what would become of me? Was I soulless like Edward believed? In any case, I didn't want to be alive or undead or whatever the hell I was now without anyone. And Jacob was telling me I had to leave. Where the hell would I go? I had no idea what I would do or where I'd go if I had to leave Forks.

"Could I what?" he asked, not understanding the significance of my question.

I hesitated a second before answering him. I had never ever contemplated suicide, even in the depths of my depression after Edward left. Sure I felt like I couldn't go on living, but I'd never thought about taking any measures toward offing myself. I almost couldn't say it.

"Kill me."

As soon as the words escaped my lips I felt lighter, freer.

Jacob stopped walking and stared at me in shock, searching my mind through my eyes, I supposed. "Are you serious?"

Infinitesimally, I nodded in assent and watched as his eyes widened in astonishment. I had to explain myself.

"I have nothing left, Jacob," I told him simply. "Why not die? At least then I have a chance of being with my parents again. There's nothing left for me here," I spread my hands out gesturing to the woods and the world around us. "Nothing," I reiterated. "All that I had and loved is gone, Jake, in a gas leak and fire, a train wreck…" I drifted off not wanting to say the third out loud: the others, who I considered my family also, who I loved with all my heart and soul, left me just…because.

Maybe they left because I was human, weak and pitiful. The danger magnet. It must get boring watching over the clumsy little girl all the time.

"Well," Jacob answered after an immeasurable moment of silent contemplation, "I wouldn't do it. And before you even try, the rest of the pack wouldn't either. I would never let them."

I looked at Jacob incredulously. He held up his hand, asking for my silence as he explained, "You're still part of the family, regardless of your current…situation. Plus, I'm the Alpha, the boss if you like. They have to listen to me. And finally, Bella, you don't know what the hell you're saying." We had started walking again though it was more automatic than restlessness on my part. "As much as I hate what you are now, I don't hate you and I don't want you dead or whatever happens to you guys once we shred and burn you."

My head shot up to look at Jacob. His words startled me, though I didn't know why. I knew the way to destroy a vampire was by tearing him apart and then burning the pieces. That's what they had to do with James.

"Besides, Bella, didn't you get along with the Cullens? Why don't you try to find them?"

"They left me, Jake," I said simply. It was, after all, very simple. Probably the most effective tortures were the simple ones.

"Look, I'm not saying you go find the asshole that left you." Jake growled and I didn't quite understand why. "He left you broken and alone, Bella. I don't want to see you like that again. But the others you liked right? Why not find them?"

I was quiet a moment as I thought about what he was saying. It was impossible. And yet… "I'll help you as much as I can, Bella, but wouldn't you want to be around others like you? They can help you cope with this new…life."

"Do you like being a werewolf, Jake?" I asked apropos of nothing. Well, I had a point, sort of. If he really enjoyed being a wolf, I could stay longer, maybe forever.

He gave me a curious look regarding the sudden change in topic but humored me nonetheless. "It's not terrible. It's got its perks, but there are definite downsides. When we're all wolves, we can communicate easily whether we want to or not. There are no secrets. There's no solitude either. Everyone's in everyone else's business. It can be very annoying. And as long as we keep phasing, we won't age so I'm stuck as a teenager, not able to grow up, essentially."

Jacob's little explanation reminded me of Edward being able to hear everyone's thoughts whether he wanted to or not. No peace or solitude there. He could never read my thoughts though. Did I bring him peace and solitude? But he always wanted to know my thoughts, and it was frustrating for him because he couldn't. So even if I may have brought him some solace from the constant buzz of everyone's minds around him, I drove him crazy as well…

I shook my head trying to clear my own thoughts of Edward. What did it matter now anyway? He was gone.

"When does the werewolf-ism stop? Can you ever be normal again?"

Jacob just looked at me pointedly.

"Ah," I said. "Which is why I should leave," I stated, mostly to myself. So whether I wanted to or not, I had to stay a vampire since I couldn't rely on the vampire slaying wolves to destroy me. I had to leave the only friend I had left if only so he could live a normal life like he deserved. I had no one to go to and no freaking idea where to go, but I knew I had to go. Just like I thought, I was a curse and my ill-fortune would spread to the wolves if I stayed.

"You don't have to go right this second, Bella," Jacob reassured me. He seemed to have read my thoughts. "It's going to take a little time for you to get more accustomed to things and then to come up with a game plan. Also, I don't know if you've realized, but it's been three days since the accident with Charlie."

I closed my eyes and blew a breath out, not that I needed to breathe anymore. Edward was right, breathing was done out of habit.

"I'm sorry, Bella," Jacob apologized. I nodded to indicate it was all right. "I brought these," he showed me the newspapers, "In case you wanted to read about it. You're dead too, by the way," he nodded at the papers again. I had a look of surprise for just a second, but then realized, why shouldn't the papers believe me to be dead? I was with Charlie. I was sure there was nothing left of the cruiser, no bodies to identify. "Um, your dad left everything to you, but since you're...you know...then my dad was next in line."

That didn't surprise me. Billy Black and my dad were the best of friends, and Charlie had no other family aside from the daughter that was allegedly incinerated with him in the accident.

"Anyway, my dad knows about you, and he's going to give you the money that belongs to you anyway, so you'll have funds. It'll take some time to get that all straightened out anyway, but don't think we're kicking you out with no means of getting by…and like I said, you don't actually have to leave…"

"Jacob, thanks for trying to be nice about it, but I will be leaving," I promised him. I just didn't know where I was going yet. At least I had some time to figure it all out. Well, I had time to figure out something.

"Do you smell that?" Jake asked. "Smells like you or at least your kind." His nose was wrinkled in disgust.

I shrugged, "Jake, I mostly just smell your stink…Oh," I sniffed again, concentrating. He was right. It smelled sweet to me, like Esme and Alice and…Edward, I thought sadly. That was when I took a proper look around. "Jake," I said suddenly. "It's the Cullen house. We're on their property."

I started running toward the house, about a couple of miles; it didn't take long. Jake followed closely behind me. Though it wasn't even visible to us yet, we could find it just by following the scent. It was a heavenly scent to me, but to Jacob, it must have smelled awful, I surmised from the scowl he wore on his face. The sweet scent became much stronger as we got closer to the house. Finally, we were standing right outside. I couldn't hear anyone in the house talking or moving so I knew no one was there…still empty. I had to admit, I was disappointed to find no one there. If for only a moment, I was excited by the idea of them being back. But of course the house was uninhabited. Why would they return? I wondered, though, if they had heard the news about the train derailment. Would they even pay attention to the goings on in Forks?

"Should we go inside?" I asked. I knew no one was there, and I had no business being there myself, but I felt a pull. Something, my gut maybe, told me I needed to go inside.

"How are you going to get inside?" Jacob asked as he jiggled the front door knob. It was locked.

I felt the right front pocket of my jeans and pulled out my key ring. On it were four keys: one to my truck, which I had intended to take on a drive once we got back home from Florida and also why I had my keys at the ready in my pocket, the key to Renee's house in Phoenix, the key to Charlie's house even though I always used the spare one we left on the eave, and finally, a key Alice had given me to their house, even though I had never needed to use it as I was always with one of them or someone was always home to greet me and let me in. When Alice gave me the key, I had given her the strangest look. She merely shrugged and told me, "You never know." Well, maybe Alice actually knew.

"Really?" Jacob asked sounding surprised as I let us into the house.

**A/N Well, they're about to enter the Cullen house. Holler back if you want to read more! I've actually got some EPoV action within the next few installments.**


	3. Decision

**A/N I am not Stephenie Meyer and I do not own Twilight or any of the characters, but I am putting my own twist on them.**

**Okay, so I added just a smidge more to the summary just to clarify the backstory. It's still New Moon, the stuff with her 18th birthday happened already, and Edward left for the same reasons as in the book. She hasn't started hanging out with Jacob yet, though they are friends. I did change it so Jacob found and carried Bella out of the forest after Edward left rather than Sam, but this will come out during the EPoV, which will be chapter 5. The Cullens have been gone for a few months, but their scents still linger in the woods around their house, and since Bella and Jake have such heightened senses, they picked up on the smell easily.**

**Are we all on the same page now? Good. Just PM me if you have any questions, a'ight?**

**Phantom's my involuntary beta--that's right, she was drafted for the job, and she's the bomb, even helping me out while on holiday. Here's the next part. Cheers and GREAR, my loves.**

**Chapter 3: Decision**

I blew out a long breath in relief as we entered; Jacob was right at my side. He blew out a long whistle as he took in the enormous home. It was a remarkable space, much larger than what either of us had grown up in.

"Dr. Cullen did okay for himself, eh?" Jacob commented. I smiled a bit but rolled my eyes at him all the same. I thought about how many years they'd been alive, all the skills and knowledge they'd acquired plus the inside track on the stock market and such via Alice.

"Yeah," I agreed. "Dr. Cullen did okay for himself."

We looked around. Everything was just as I had remembered except that the furniture and piano were all covered with sheets to keep the dust off. I didn't want to disturb the state that Esme left her home in so I didn't bother undraping anything. However, as soon as I came to this conclusion I heard a whoosh and turned around to see Jacob making himself at home on a white leather sofa that he had swiped the sheet off.

"Jacob," I scolded, aghast that he was putting his dusty feet on Esme's pristine furniture. "What on Earth are you doing?"

He was lying on the sofa with his feet hanging over the end. He was the picture of ease with his hands laced behind his head, eyes closed.

"I'm just resting. What are _you_ doing?" he countered, keeping his feet where they were despite my scandalized gaze that was pointedly fixed on his feet. _Such a dog_…

I gave up, knowing it wouldn't do any good. I could probably clean up later anyway. "I don't know," I confessed. "Just looking around I guess."

"Okay, while you do that, I'll rest. Some of us still need our sleep you know." He yawned. "Holler if you need me. Actually, you don't need to holler. My senses are sharp. You can just whisper if you need me."

I shook my head at my old friend as I continued my trespass. But then again, was it really trespassing if I had a key?

The key. I thought about Alice and how she must have known on some level that I would need it. She always maintained that she saw me as one of them. I could recall her telling Edward that "It's going to happen," through the haze of pain and fire from James' bite. Edward had been battling with himself about whether to let the change happen or suck out the venom before it spread.

I laughed bitterly. He kept me from turning last year, and yet, ultimately I was changed anyway despite his best efforts to keep me human.

I wouldn't allow my mind to entertain the idea of eternity with Edward had I been turned last year. It didn't matter anymore. _I_ didn't matter anymore.

I thought, instead, about Jacob's suggestion. Should I go find them? Not all of them, of course. I was pretty sure I wouldn't be welcomed into eternity with open arms by Rosalie. Or even Edward for that matter. But maybe, just maybe, Alice or Emmett or perhaps Esme and Carlisle would be happy to see me. I actually felt some of the crushing despair lift from my chest for a moment as I thought about them. They were like family to me and I loved them as deeply as I had loved Charlie and Renee, and I hoped that they viewed me the same way.

But where the hell would I even begin to look? Talk about trying to find a needle in a haystack. Still, if I felt drawn to the house, it had to have meant something. Maybe Alice had had more visions about what would become of me? I wondered if she could see me at this moment. Was she looking at my future? Checking in on me? I wondered if she saw the accidents. But then again, if she had seen the explosions and fires, she probably would be here now, wouldn't she? But she wasn't. So I could only assume she wasn't looking for me.

The thought made me feel even more alone. What was I going to do? What _could_ I do?

God! Even as a vampire I was weak and stupid!

I continued walking aimlessly through the house. I could hear Jacob snoring as I ascended the stairs. Poor guy must have really been tired. I couldn't believe he stayed with me through the transformation. I wondered if he knew what was happening. He must have been freaked out of his mind.

The first room I came across was Alice's. I went in without hesitation. In the time I'd spent with the Cullens, I knew that Alice was the one who would gladly toss open her doors and invite the world in. She wouldn't mind me going in at all.

The room was undisturbed. Her bed was still made. I was almost sure that her closet was still full. She probably saw the move to wherever they went as an opportunity to start a whole new wardrobe. I opened the door to her enormous walk-in closet to verify my suspicion. I had to chuckle, even if it was just a ghostly sound that vanished into the wind. I was right.

I caught a glimpse of myself in the full-length mirror as I threw the door open. I actually gasped. It was an arresting image. I studied my reflection. It was me, only…better, I guess. Was better the right word? Perhaps, in some respects. My hair was still long and dark brown, but it was so shiny and…pretty. I'd never even used that word in my human life to describe anything about myself, but here, now, I couldn't deny it, and I was not a vain person.

My skin was pale, though that wasn't much different from my human-self. I did have the same purple rings under my eyes that the Cullens had, like I wasn't able to sleep, which was true.

The things that had me staring so hard into the mirror were my eyes. They were scarlet, like Laurent's and Victoria's. In fact, they looked even brighter than theirs had been, but I wasn't sure if that was a byproduct of my new eyesight.

I couldn't understand it. The Cullens' eyes were a butterscotch color after they hunted and fed on animals. Why hadn't my eyes turned that pretty color? I was rather satiated thirst-wise. I hoped my eyes wouldn't remain red. I didn't want to look like a vampire that hunted humans. I shuddered at the thought of being classified with the likes of James, Laurent, and Victoria. But on second thought, who would classify me with them? I didn't know any other vampires. But the ones I did know and hoped to find could misconstrue me as a non-vegetarian. They'd be so disappointed in me. I didn't want to let them down…

I shook my head. An attempt to sober myself up, I supposed. What was I even thinking about? Who was around for me to disappoint?

I was alone.

Still, I didn't like or want these hellish eyes. I could only hope that with time they would turn into the honey brown color I had grown to love and find comfort in.

Then the light caught the raised skin leftover from Victoria's bite. As hideous as it was, I did admire how it reflected the light, nearly sparkling.

Sparkling. The memory hit me with enough force to make me feel like I'd been tossed into a furnace. But I was stronger now; I could brush aside the pain and continue like nothing was happening. When I had been human this pain had torn me apart, sent me to my bed and forced me to shut down in order to not feel the extent of it. Now as a vampire, I could feel the true agony of it and it hurt. It hurt so much worse than when I was a human because my human body simply couldn't stand that level of pain. It would have killed me. My heart would have stopped. But now I had no heart to stop, no bed to lie on, and so I processed the pain, absorbed it and just…continued.

I inspected my skin again. It looked normal, perfect, hard, and several shades paler than when I'd been at my healthiest, but nothing supernatural -in the light of the house at least.

I made a mental note to examine my skin again once I was in the sunshine. I wanted to see the diamond-like effect the sun had on me. The thought made me smile slightly, like I was close to them again, even if it were in this insignificant way. The pain of that thought was worth the momentary feeling of company, of love…

Finally, I looked at my clothes. Dirty and tattered. I supposed through a couple of explosions and close encounters with demonic vampires and enormous wolves anyone would be hard pressed to keep their clothes pristine. Lucky for me, I literally had a closet _full_ of clothes to choose from. Somehow I didn't think Alice would mind if I borrowed some. What good were they serving her just hanging in the closet?

I grabbed some jeans and a long-sleeved t-shirt, amazed and thankful that Alice had such practical attire in her possession. Admittedly the jeans were designer and the top was a silk-cotton blend but for her, they were surprisingly restrained. I glanced into her bathroom and wondered fleetingly if the plumbing were still on. A hot shower sounded fantastic.

To my astonishment, the water worked –obviously the Cullens thought nothing of water bills- so I jumped in for a quick shower. If, no, _when_ –I did have all of eternity after all- I finally found Alice I would have to kiss her just for leaving a fully stocked bathroom. Not only did I have plush towels, but there was also body wash, shampoo, and conditioner. Alice was my savior!

I took my time in the shower. It felt like forever since I'd had one. Well, it had been three days anyway and I guess it had shown.

I went to get dressed. Once again, I had to hand it to Alice. I fit into her jeans, amazingly, though I'd never wear such form-fitting clothes in my human life. Alice was shorter than me but wore high heels most of the time so the jeans were longer than she would have needed them had she worn flats, but they were just right for me.

Once dressed again, I decided to keep looking around. I was in Carlisle's study when I heard the thud of Jacob's footsteps coming up the stairs.

"Bella?" he called.

"In here," I answered as I stood staring at the large paintings that were still up in the office. I remembered when Edward first brought me here, after that day in the meadow, our confessions, and his staying with me that night. Even through the hazy memory, I recalled the happiness I felt that night lying with Edward next to me, and then the next day when I woke up to discover him sitting in the rocker in my bedroom. I had never felt more alive than I did then. But now…How could I feel an ache when my heart didn't even work anymore?

"What are you doing in here?" Jake asked as he entered the study. I was still gazing up at the masterpieces mounted above and on either side of the door. "Whoa," he said, as he followed my line of vision towards the artwork.

"Yeah," I breathed. "I know."

His face was full of awe as he looked around. "What is this room?" he asked in amazement.

"It's Carlisle's study," I told him.

"Pretty fancy," Jake commented once he tore his eyes away from the paintings and started poking around the room. "Think he's read all these?" Jake asked gesturing to the numerous tomes on all the bookcases.

"He's probably read and reread each of them about a hundred times over," I smirked. "Carlisle's been around for centuries, and since vampires don't sleep…" Centuries alone, I recalled suddenly. I wondered if he had felt this pain during that time.

But no, he had never known true companionship and romantic love. But even still, he must have been terribly lonely, going from place to place, keeping his distance and then moving on. He had told me that he had been toying with the notion of making a vampire before he met Edward. Just one person that could know him for what he really was…

I was brought back to Earth by Jake. "Damn," was all he managed to say in response as he walked over to the large globe on its stand. It was a fancy globe, then again, wasn't everything pretty fancy in this house? Huge and coppery-brown in color, it had almost an antique finish to it. Then I grimaced at my own idiocy. Right, everything was antique! Jake traced his pointer finger over the raised and textured land forms as he spun the globe. "So where to, Bells?" he asked as he spun the globe again. "Let's see where the wheel lands."

Jake closed his eyes and kept his finger stationary as the globe slowly stopped spinning underneath it. I heard the globe stop abruptly as I sat down behind the large desk in the cozy leather chair.

"Ah, Brazil." Jake smiled. "What do you think?"

I gave Jacob a bewildered expression. "I think Brazil is pretty large. Where in Brazil exactly? The Amazon?"

Jacob clicked his tongue at me, "Rio, of course." He stated it like one would have to be mentally incompetent to think of going anywhere but Rio de Janeiro.

"Oh, of course," I retorted sarcastically. "Because it's densely populated and I can test my thirst with so many innocent people around. Perfect. Why didn't I think of that?" At least in the Amazon I had animals to hunt.

"Well, you could start off in the Amazon and then make your way to Rio," Jake suggested. "That way you could hunt and stuff," he added as if reading my mind.

"Right." I said sarcastically, barely managing to suppress a very unladylike snort. "And just how exactly do you suggest I get there, Jake? Fly?" I could see it now: me, going crazy with bloodlust, trapped in a plane full of people. How very convenient. It would be a little like a buffet. I'd probably end up killing everyone with the exception of the pilot and then I'd have to kill him too once the plane landed. And then I'd kill everyone at the airport. I couldn't leave any witnesses. Or maybe I'd just kill the pilot while we were flying and jump off letting the plane crash and explaining all the dead bodies. Jumping out of airplanes with no parachute wouldn't kill me anymore. Then I snapped out of my macabre imaginings –that seemed to be becoming a theme for me, snapping out of bad thoughts and worse memories- "Um, I don't think so," I said shaking my head.

"What? You don't trust yourself?" he asked incredulously.

"Not at all," I stated firmly, thinking back to everything I had been told about voracious newborn appetites. Not to mention how even Jasper and Emmett, who were by no means newborns, slipped up. Alice must be able to foresee when she'd make a mistake and, consequently, not go down that path, but I wouldn't be able to do that and the thought of hurting someone, someone with friends, family and a future, taking all that away from them…

It made me sick.

"You don't want to drink me," he argued, completely missing the point.

I sighed impatiently, my thoughts had upset me and I was too jittery to be patient. "That's different, Jake," I snapped. "I know you. Not to mention the fact that you stink. You smell like a wet dog." I wrinkled my nose to underscore my statement. The very thought of sinking my teeth into such an unappetizing neck made me want to go wash my mouth out.

He only made a face back at me. "Does the idea of drinking from strangers appeal to you?"

"No," I answered quickly, remembering the sick feeling. "But, I don't want to even risk it, Jake. How could I risk killing kids? Taking away someone's future? The lives of every single person on whichever plane that I chose? Don't forget that it's not just them either." Jake looked at me in confusion and I explained, the words spilling from my mouth in a torrent of agonized guilt for things not yet done. "If they die, what happens to the ones left behind? If they were someone's entire world and then it's just gone, what do they have to live for? If they were the breadwinner in the family or the one they pinned all their hopes and dreams onto, the kid the entire family got together to pay for college, the big boss that could afford to support the family in comfort, what do they do when it's all gone?"

We both thought a moment.

"Besides," I added. "I'm not going to Brazil just because that's where the stupid globe happened to stop underneath your finger. It's so arbitrary. I'm really going to have to think about where I'm going to go. I could just backpack across Alaska or Canada," I shrugged. "They're much closer and…"

"You hate the cold though," Jake pointed out.

"Yeah, but that was when I was human. Now, the cold is just a temperature. I don't actually feel cold," I smiled at that. It seemed that there were definitely up sides to being a vampire.

"Oh yeah?" Jake asked, intrigued. "You're like Bionic Woman now aren't you?"

I merely rolled my eyes.

"It's true," Jake continued. "You can run really fast. You're strong. I bet you could kick Paul's ass easily. Maybe even mine." He smirked as though he found that thought laughable.

I wondered if I could take the guy down. "Was that a challenge?" I asked, glaring mockingly at him.

"Whatever, Bells." That time he rolled his eyes at me.

"Oh, I believe that was a challenge then," I sneered squinting at my friend. "Let's do this." _I'm gonna take this mutt down a peg or two…_

"What are we going to do? See who can do the most pushups?" I asked idly. It made no difference to me and I made sure to let that indifference show in my voice. "Race? Arm wrestle?" If I won, I won, and if I lost…

Well, vampires don't lose much do they?

"You know what? How about we do all of the above?" I wasn't getting less and less certain that I would be able to actually beat Jake, but his smugness kind of enraged me, even if he was just messing with me.

"Seriously?" he asked with equal parts humor and incredulousness in his tone.

"Yep," I answered as I got down in a plank position on the floor, my eyes daring him to get down and try to beat me.

Jacob sighed in exasperation and I could almost hear his eyes hit the back of his head as I assumed he rolled them again, but he humored me and also got into the plank position next to me. Side by side we did pushups.

I was amazed at my own strength and endurance. We did a hundred without Jacob even breaking a sweat. As we approached three-fifty, I could see his arms shaking in fatigue while I felt like I could do pushups forever. I probably could have, but instead I laughed in triumph after Jacob's arms collapsed after pushup number three-sixty. He was lying on the floor unable to do another.

"Chump," I smiled as I did one more pushup and then hopped up with ease leaving my friend in the fetal position on the floor rubbing his own biceps. Human Bella wasn't ever able to do more than ten pushups at a time. I was quite impressed with myself.

"You're a sore winner you know that?" he grumbled.

"Hey, neither physical education nor athletics were my strong suit as a human," I said defensively. "Let me revel in my own awesomeness please, since I so just kicked your butt." I finally gave him my hand to help him up.

"Crap, Bella!" He flinched back and rubbed his hand. "You're cold!"

"Sorry," I apologized, unsure if he was referring to my freezing skin temperature or my poor sportsmanship. "You wanna go race now?"

"Nah," he said still rubbing his upper arms simultaneously with each opposite hand. "Maybe tomorrow after school. I'm going to head home and check on my dad. You staying here?"

I shrugged. "I guess so." Where else was I going to go? "Or I might wander the woods. I just don't know."

"All right then, I'll come back tomorrow." Jacob studied me before continuing. "I'd ask if you'll be okay, but it seems like you're pretty much at home here."

I smiled a little at his sentiment. But the latent sadness, banished by the exhilaration of my new vampire talents, rose up in me again. This had been like a second home to me. "Thanks, Jake. I'll see you tomorrow. Tell your dad _hi_ for me." He nodded his assent before leaving. I let the sadness consume me for a moment...

And then I was off.

I spent that night wandering in the woods, running, climbing trees. I even leaped from the top of one tree to another just to see if I could do it.

I could.

I contemplated hunting a deer. I was pretty confident that I could do it, but I wasn't all that thirsty yet since the Thumper carnage so I thought I'd wait until I absolutely needed to hunt again. No need to add Bambi to my list of innocent butchered animals yet.

Jake came back the next day and the day after that and everyday for about a week. He spent his days at school and then came back to visit and check on me until around nightfall. He'd run home to eat or sometimes he'd bring food with him. I hated those times. Human food didn't smell good to me at all. It kind of made my stomach turn. I suppose I returned the favor to him since he had to watch me hunt a couple times. I did finally take down a deer after two days. It actually kept my thirst at bay for about four days and tasted better than rabbits –but not by much.

We'd raced a few times, and I beat him every time, even in his wolf form. We arm-wrestled, and I beat him at that as well. It was really satisfying; little, yet freakishly strong me, crushing a big strong guy slash werewolf.

When we weren't competing Jake and I would look around the Cullen house some more. Well, actually, _he'd_ nap on the sofa and _I'd_ wander. I never stayed in the house without Jake there with me for some reason. I didn't feel right being in the house alone, pretending it was mine when it wasn't. At least when Jake was with me I could pretend like I was visiting. Exploring. I'd do anything to avoid feeling like I was living in their home. Like a pathetic, useless thing, not unlike a forgotten pet, unable to do anything but cling to the memory of the ones who had abandoned her.

I spent the bulk of my time at the house in Carlisle's study looking through the books he had stored there. I thought fleetingly about visiting Edward's old bedroom but could never bring myself to go in. It hurt to think about him, let alone allowing the ghosts and memories to overtake me if I were to step foot in there.

When Jake left for the night I'd usually explore the woods, running further and further each trip. Again, I was astonished at my own speed and strength. I hunted a bigger deer than the first, which kept my thirst away for nearly five days. This deer was definitely more appealing than rabbit.

Something strange happened in the second week following my transformation though. I ran pretty far one night. I wasn't sure where I was exactly, my hunch was northern Canada. It was actually nearly sunrise before I realized how far I had run. I spotted a pretty large deer at about the same time a mountain lion was eyeing it. I almost changed my mind about the deer and went after the mountain lion, but it reminded me of Edward too much. Instead, I wanted to protect the deer from the other predator, even though I was the more immediate danger to it. I was sure I was quicker than the cat. For some reason, I personified the mountain lion as Edward, and I was angry at it, at him. I needed to protect that deer since it was mine.

The strange thing that occurred was that the mountain lion tried to pounce but was unable to. It was like there was an invisible shield or bubble around the deer, protecting it like I had wished.

After a few attempts, the mountain lion gave up in frustration, I assumed. It was so weird. He finally took off in another direction. After the cat left, I went ahead and took down that deer, drinking from it after my usual apology and neck snapping.

I made it back to Forks by the time Jacob was out of school. I was fast, but I wasn't sure if I was too quick for the human eye. I didn't want to take any chances so I tried to run through woods only. I had to cross a couple of highways and small towns but I did so as stealthily and quickly as, well, inhumanly possible, which was pretty damn fast. Amazingly, I was not tempted by human blood. I chalked it up to being well fed by the deer in Canada though.

I was also amazed at how well I was able to find my way back home…well, back to the Cullen house, no matter how far I had run. I could follow my own scent back.

Also during the second week of my new life, I decided where I was going to go: Brazil. Who knew Jacob was such a prognosticator? But no, I wasn't going to fly. There was no way.

I was under the gun to figure out a game plan. Jacob said the money was nearly ready for me. Billy was going to put it into a checking account I could draw from with a debit/credit card. The account was actually in Billy's name, but the name on the card was Rebecca, one of Jake's sisters, the one who was married. I guess I could pass for a Rebecca Black if I had to. Hopefully when and if I needed to use the card, they wouldn't ask for ID.

Jacob was actually with me in Carlisle's study that evening when I decided. He was perusing a history book that he had found particularly interesting and I had found a scrapbook that Esme had put together. I smiled and laughed at the pictures of their whole family, even the ones with Edward and Rosalie. Seeing Alice and Emmett made me really miss them. I did want to find them.

I was looking at pictures of what seemed to be a jungle and some beach and water. The landscape was beautiful. So tropical and relaxing. I wondered what it would be like to relax on the sand. It sounded heavenly.

After a few pages of pictures there was a note and a map.

**My Dearest Esme,**

**On this, our wedding anniversary, I could think of nothing more fitting than try to give you what you have given me all these decades together: peace, tranquility, a sense of home, security and love. This is merely a token, a small symbol of what you mean to me. It pales in comparison to your beauty and I only hope that it brings you some semblance of the infinite happiness and joy that you bring to me.**

**Always,**

**Carlisle**

It was written in perfect script at the top of an official looking document. Upon closer inspection, it was a deed or a bill of sale for some property. At first, I thought it was the beach house that was pictured in a handful of the photographs, but the map that was pasted to the next page indicated something much more…substantial. There, circled on the map, off the coast of Rio de Janeiro, was an island with its name scrawled underneath it in Carlisle's handwriting.

An island?! Unbelievable! I had the evidence in front of my face, and I still couldn't fathom it. Carlisle purchased an actual island for his wife. Well, I suppose if you had that much money, why the hell not? I almost laughed out loud.

Isle Esme, here I come.

**A/N Mmmhmm, now we're getting somewhere. Want more? No, not that kind of more. I mean more of THIS you sicko's (inside joke for my CLG/TDG readers). There, now that I have sufficiently spoiled you all (3 posts in 3 days), I won't update again until next Wednesday--we'll call it ATO Wednesday. I guess I _could_**** be persuaded to update sooner, but I'd have to REALLY be convinced by a bunch, no, a butt-load of reviews. Well, I averaged about 50 reviews a chapter for TDG. That may be unrealistic for this one so let's go with 30 or so. We'll see what happens. You never know when I might send you a little teaser either 'cause I'm crazy like that...Click and review, kids. Thanks!**


	4. No Turning Back

**A/N I am not Stephenie Meyer and I do not own Twilight or any of the characters, but I am putting my own twist on them.**

**Well, how does ATO Friday sound? I did get the number of reviews I requested. Thanks guys! And a special thanks to carey1090 for being the 30th reviewer. Well, I assume you guys would like to thank her maybe? **

**Quick shout out to Phantom--I don't recall if I've ever talked about her to you guys XD She's the bomb beta. Anyhoo, here's the next part. GREAR.**

**Chapter 4: No Turning Back**

I stood statue still in my old bedroom at Charlie's house, still unable to wrap my head around the fact that I was actually going to do this. I was actually going to leave Forks. Forever. The concept of eternity was still hard for me to grasp, even with all the extra room and super fast processing my brain had these days. It was shocking, unreal, and terrifying. Add that to the fact that I was leaving behind everything I had and I wanted to scream, to cry, to go bury my head under my pillows until my parents came to comfort me and tell me it would all be ok.

But I couldn't. My parents were dead. And even had they been alive they'd never been the comforting sort. Charlie wouldn't have known what to say and Renee…it just felt wrong to break down in front of Renee. Sort of what I imagine a parent would feel about crying in front of their child.

Besides, I had no use for a bed, I couldn't cry, and I had to leave. Even though I wanted to stay, wanted to cling to the last shreds of familiarity and comfort I had left when all else was so drastically changed, I couldn't. If I did then Jake and the rest of his pack, would never, could never, live normal lives.

And that would be criminally selfish. If nothing else I'd done or would ever do earned me a place in Hell then that one act of staying would. To destroy all their lives –and the lives of the younger Quileute children who would undoubtedly change once they hit puberty- just because I was too cowardly to leave was…intolerable.

I'd done enough damage to the people closest to me. I'd try to do redeem myself if I could. If that meant sacrificing my own comfort for the comfort of others, so be it. It was a small price to pay for the fate of my parents. I had so much to repent for. This was only the beginning.

Billy had asked if I wanted to sell Charlie's house. It was apparently my call. Billy and Jacob would continue to live on the Reservation regardless and since I couldn't stay or come back, I told him to go ahead and sell it. Billy promised that the money made would go into that account that he set up. What with the life insurance policies from Renee, Phil, and Charlie I had quite a nest egg. Not that money even mattered, but that account was going to get even bigger. I told Jacob he could use the money for college if he needed it. God knew I had no need for it now. It's amazing how much money you saved when you didn't eat.

I returned to Charlie's house for the first -and last- time since we had gone to Jacksonville. I couldn't bring myself to face the empty home before this. Everything here reminded me of my dad and the life that I was about ready to face again before all hell broke loose.

"The guys and I will pack everything up and keep it in storage for you, Bells," Jacob told me. "You go ahead and take whatever you want now. Wherever and whenever you get settled, I'll ship you everything."

I was going to be traveling pretty light, not that the weight of my backpack was going to bother me or slow me down any, no matter what I packed. Heck, I could pack everything and the kitchen sink and pop Jake on top of it all, run to the North Pole and back, and the weight wouldn't hinder me one little bit.

I found a good backpack at the Cullen house. They obviously had plenty to choose from since they'd had the town folk convinced they were avid hikers and campers –possibly even orienteers for all I knew. The sleek black one I chose was waterproof and I packed some extra clothes, a toothbrush and toothpaste and the three new items I had Jacob pick up for me. There was a journal for when I got bored during the day since I didn't want to travel openly. I'd hide out in mountains or forests until nightfall, which was when I planned on covering the most ground. I could run fast now after all. Really fast. I was going to take full advantage of that fact. Using my new and improved vamp-brain I estimated, conservatively, that I could probably cover one to three states per night at least depending on cover, traffic, nearby humans etc.

The phone he bought me was far more complex than anything either of us had ever had before (Jacob bought himself one as well, on me), but it was capable of not only making and receiving calls, but accessing the internet and therefore my email, music by way of the inbuilt mp3 player, and probably most important of all, GPS. I had a destination I wanted to reach after all. I had to keep myself on task and in the right direction.

He'd also bought me a small notebook computer and a lot of backup battery packs for both it and the phone that we charged up in preparation for my travels. I could probably sneak electricity here and there in libraries or hotels to charge my phone and computer as well.

I was all set to go. I just wanted to visit the house for the last time. If I could have cried, I would have. Instead I just ached, twisting the knife in my heart a little more with each step I took. Walking in, everything reminded me of my dad. My fingers trailed over the pictures that used to embarrass me when I first moved in. Locking every memory in place. I would never forget the smell or look of this house now. It had been my first real home, the site of my life with Charlie. And now it was locked for eternity in the archives of my vampire memory. Even when this house was long gone, its memory would be with me. For better or for worse. I could never change it now.

I slowly made my way up the stairs to my bedroom. Looking at the window and the rocking chair next to it I was struck with a fresh wave of agony. He used to come in through that window and sit watching me in that chair. I stared at my little bed. I'd never sleep in it again. I'd never sleep again period. I was leaving and I was going to be on my own. Forever.

Even if I met up with Alice I couldn't stay with her. She was one of the Cullens, and I couldn't steal her away from her family. It wasn't fair to any of them. I couldn't join them either. I simply couldn't live that close to Edward. Or to live knowing when he was off distracting himself.

It would kill me.

My body might already be dead but it would kill my spirit. My soul. Whatever it is that gave a person their life and vigor.

The gravity of the situation and my own fear about traveling to South America on my own hit me and I fell silently collapsed. I flinched as I dislodged a couple of floorboards. Something about the angle at which I fell had knocked them loose.

"Damn," I muttered shakily as I picked one up. I was about to place it back when I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. I reached in to see what it was. There in the floor were several photographs and a CD. I gasped upon realizing what I had just uncovered. The CD was the one Edward had made me for my eighteenth birthday and the missing pictures were from my album. Also there tucked into the small space were the airline tickets to Jacksonville from Esme and Carlisle. I thought he had taken them with him. "It will be as if I'd never existed," he had said. For a few moments all I could hear and think of were those words and all those that accompanied them. "I don't want you." He'd said that very clearly. He'd also told me that I was human. That I shouldn't worry. That my memory "is no more than a sieve." And that "Time heals all wounds for your kind."

Such bull.

I was no longer human. I was now his kind. And he hadn't even given me the clean break he'd promised. His presence was everywhere. But why would he have hidden these things?

Was it some sort of joke? Was I a joke? Probably. I wondered how many more laughs he had at my expense. The pathetic little girl who loved him.

No, Edward was a gentleman. Despite how much pain he'd caused me, I knew he wasn't off there laughing at me. Pitying me perhaps. In a way, I actually preferred his scorn. At least then I'd be able to hate him. He probably even felt regret over the fact that he'd hurt me. He could be arrogant and cold at times, but he was never purposefully cruel.

I couldn't even fault him for breaking up with me. I would never wish for him to be trapped in a loveless relationship.

I wondered fleetingly how Edward's distractions were. He'd probably not given silly little me much thought since leaving. How had he been so nonchalant about it though? My life shattered that very day and he all but skipped away.

He never really loved you, Bella, I reminded myself. Maybe he thought he did once. He was too good to purposefully deceive a girl that way, but what if he thought he loved me to avoid killing me?

Of course he didn't love me. How could he have? I was a fool to believe otherwise. No doubt he didn't think it would hurt me much because he couldn't comprehend how much I loved him. And to think he'd once had the temerity to tell me that my love was but a tiny tree compared to the forest of his. He'd make a good poet, I thought bitterly. Fool, fool and damned fool. How could he possibly think something so stupid? He was a god, and I was…well…me.

An agonized breath left my throat. It was a sort of frozen whisper scream that echoed up from the very depths of your being and reverberated around the empty cavern where your heart used to be until the pain became too much to handle and the sound escaped through your lips to release some of the pressure. Much like a kettle's whistle.

"You okay, Bells?" I heard Jacob ask from downstairs.

"Yes," I whispered quickly. I was pretty sure he could hear me. I had to keep it together. There'd be plenty of time for self-loathing. I had an eternity of it ahead of me after all. I had to pace myself.

I stared at the photograph. God, he was so heartbreakingly perfect, I almost couldn't look at him, but I almost couldn't bear to look away either. I decided instead to hide the pictures and tickets underneath the jewel case that held the CD and headed back downstairs. I fished my album out of my drawer and after grabbing a couple more pictures, one of Charlie and one of Renee and Phil, I stuck them inside the front cover of the journal and into the backpack.

I was all set.

Billy and Jake were watching me worriedly as I zipped up the bag. "Well, that's it then," I murmured as I smoothly rose from my crouched position on the floor. "Thanks for everything, Billy, Jake." I nodded at each of them as I said their names. Trying to distance myself from them so I wouldn't break down immediately. The overwhelming grief that I had been keeping at bay had me in its grasp and was threatening to drown me. Not only had I lost my family, but now I was going to lose my home and my new friends. I wasn't particularly close to Billy but he'd been doing so much for me lately. He'd been taking care of me just like Charlie would have.

"Bella, you have to call us often and let us know that you're okay," Billy told me. Then he did something completely unexpected. He reached out and hugged me. The vicious bloodsucking leech. Didn't he know how dangerous that was? He might smell like dog, but it wasn't as strong as the stench from Jacob for some reason. "Take care of yourself for all of us. And thank you too. We know the sacrifice you're making by leaving." His words snapped me out of my fear for his life. I melted a little and returned the hug, using far less pressure than I would have for Jake. My body instinctively knew just how much force to use. My brain calculated the fragility of his body and what would feel like a tight hug to him without crushing him.

"It's the least I can do," I told him. It was the truth. "And I'll keep in touch. Jake knows how to get a hold of me anyway," I laughed. We were like a satellite phone company. We would stay in touch via texting most of the time, and then email or call when we had more time. We'd never see each other face to face again though, not unless we used a web cam.

I broke from his embrace to hug Jacob. He was far less fragile than his dad. Consequently my hug was tighter.

"You're my only friend. You know that?" I asked him ruefully.

"Yeah, well…who else could put up with your stench?" he laughed but squeezed me back all the same.

"You realize that as you're my only friend you're my best friend?" I laughed and shook my head. "I guess that means that I can say unequivocally and without fear of retribution that…_you_ stink," I retorted.

He chuckled at that before his face turned somber "I really hope you find your friend Alice," he said in all seriousness.

"Me too." I smiled. "Um, Jake?" I tried to break from the hug without breaking him; he was holding me pretty tightly.

"Yeah?"

"You really stink," I said as I continued to wiggle out of his grip. He finally got the hint and let me go.

"Yeah, so do you. I was just trying to be polite about it," he laughed. "I guess you leeches are bigger jerks than us…"

"Dogs!" I sneered as I smacked him in the chest.

"Ugh!" Jacob grabbed his chest. "Damn, Bells," he scowled.

"Sorry," I apologized. "I guess I'm not use to my brute strength yet." That wasn't the entire truth. I knew what would and wouldn't break him, I just didn't know what would and wouldn't hurt yet.

"That's okay. Hey, I have something else for you," he told me as he reached into his pocket. Billy took that as an opportunity to wheel himself into the kitchen to give us a moment I guess.

"What is it?" I asked as Jake pulled out a brown leather pouch and handed it to me. I loosened the strings and opened it up to find a silver charm bracelet with a werewolf charm hanging off of it. I smiled as I put it on my wrist. "Aww! Thanks, Jake!" If I'd been human I would have cried. As a vampire all I could do was smile.

"You're welcome, Bella. Just remember your old friend once in a while, 'kay?"

"Of course," I replied as I hugged him again. He chuckled and patted my back. "I feel like I should be giving you something now, Jake," I said as we pulled apart.

"You are, Bells. You're giving me, and the rest of the guys, a normal life. This trinket pales in comparison to that." He was completely sincere. That statement alone removed all my doubt. I was doing the right thing.

I could only respond by smiling slightly. It was getting harder and harder to leave, but I knew I really had to now. I had this feeling that I needed to leave soon. It wasn't much, just a nagging urge to get away as soon as possible. I relegated it to the back of my brain and filed it away for further inspection once I had the time.

"You scared?" Jake asked me curiously.

I didn't trust me voice yet so I only nodded. I began to feel the loneliness creeping through my bones again. I felt the cold again and I realized why it had always bothered me when I'd been human. It wasn't the temperature so much as what it represented, what it reminded me of.

The cold of loneliness.

"Call, text, whatever. You got me," he reassured me as if reading my mind once again.

I nodded my thanks.

"Hey, Bells, what if you run into…" Jacob looked at me gravely. "…him?"

As soon as he said that I felt the nagging feeling double. I had to get away from here. I took in a deep breath just out of habit and blew it out slowly in an attempt to fight off a panic attack that always threatened to occur when I thought about Edward. "I don't know," I answered quietly and shrugged. I really didn't.

"You love him don't you?"

I merely pursed my lips to the side as I stared at the floor. I shook my head to clear out the memories. "Doesn't matter either way," I said sadly remembering his words. "He doesn't want me." I looked up and I knew my eyes were blazing as I remembered how I'd pleaded with him not to go, held onto the memory of him even after he was long gone. "And I do not want a man who doesn't want me!" I hissed furiously as all the pain, the anger at the thought of his lies came back and stabbed me afresh.

Edward Cullen would never have to worry about me chasing after him for eternity. He could have his distractions. I would have…nothing. But after all I had done, maybe I deserved that. Maybe I was supposed to have died but God thought that I deserved to serve out my years of punishment here rather than in Hell.

After all, what torture could possibly be worse than knowing the person you love most in the entire world doesn't want you? To live for all of time knowing this fact. To exist with this one truth every second of every day for eternity, alone.

We stood there quietly a moment, each of us lost in our own thoughts, though I doubt Jacob's were anything like mine.

"Well, he's not only an asshole, but he's an idiot too," Jacob assessed.

That startled a bark of laughter out of me. You had to admire Jacob's loyalty. Blind though it was.

"I should go," I said. Jacob nodded in response.

And with that I turned on my heel and fled, and as I flew over the ground I felt the nagging sensation redouble. So I threw every ounce of grief, every pinprick of pain, sadness and anger into my run.

My calculations were way off. If I kept at this speed I could probably be around the world in a week.

**A/N Yes, it's short. Guess which chapter is next...yes, chapter 5 and it has (drum roll please) EPoV. Uh, huh. I plan on posting on ATO Wednesday. You know what to do if you want it sooner. 30 just won't do now...I mean come on, it's EPoV! Show your love and want for it, ladies!**


	5. Giving Chase

**A/N This is an alternate New Moon, owned by Stephenie Meyer, not me. She also owns Twilight and stuff. You may have heard of her :P**

**Well, how's about ATO Tuesday? It's almost Wednesday somewhere in the world, right? Truth be told, I'm posting early because I could use a pick me up by way of reviews. Two words, friends: car troubles. Here's another word: expensive. And a sentence fragment: makes me depressed -sigh- Stupid not-so-shiny Volvo! Oh well, that's life right?**

**Anyhoo, I'm loving your enthusiasm for this fic. As you know, it's not my normal fluff and humor so I hope I'm doing okay. Phantom shines it up and makes the story prettier for me, that's for sure. Okay. Ready? Set? GREAR.**

**Chapter 5: Giving Chase**

**EPoV**

I was enraged. Not only had I discovered that my explicit instructions had been disobeyed. I had also been told that Alice had lost the love of my existence.

My first reaction had been incredulity.

She lost Bella? How could Alice lose Bella?

"She was there and then she wasn't," Alice had said defensively several times. That was completely ludicrous. What could Alice's hazy visions of Bella have meant?

Wasn't it enough that she'd been looking into Bella's future in the first place? I told her in no uncertain terms to stop. We were supposed to leave her alone. Let her live a normal life free from monsters like us. She deserved a normal life. She still had her soul, it was innocent and pure and that was the way it was going to stay. I would not allow her to be tainted and defiled by monstrosities such as myself.

It was intolerable.

I thought I heard my stone heart crack that day. I thought that walking away from her in that instant, with all those lies still hanging in the air, would accomplish what gravity, weapons and poison could not.

I was certain that it would kill me.

The expression in her eyes when I told her I'd be leaving without her just about ripped my nonexistent heart out.

Hopeless, agonized, she looked like the sun had set and would never rise again. It's place in the sky an open and ravaged hole, where no light would shine again.

But the sun would rise again. It had to. I refused to believe that I was the one destined to be with her forever. Just because she was the one for me didn't mean that I was the one for her.

The dragon is never supposed to be with the princess. It might love her hopelessly and forever, she might even love it back out of the kindness of her heart, but one day she'd meet her prince and she would never think again about her heartbroken dragon.

The prince was meant to be the keeper of her heart and she of his. The fact that she also had the dragon's heart was not important.

A memory hit me and I clenched my teeth against the sobs that threatened to break free.

"I don't care! You can have my soul. I don't want it without you—it's yours already!"

How could she? How could she believe the lie I told her? I could see so clearly that she did, and it didn't even take much to convince her either. Only a few false words. The most ridiculous, absurd notion. As if I could exist without her!

Her words still haunted me. "You… don't… want me?" she'd asked me haltingly. I'd wanted to shake her and yell at her to never let such blasphemy pass her lips ever again. I'd wanted to kiss her and hold her and tell her it was all a lie and never ever let her go.

"You're the very best part of my life."

Those words had almost brought me to my knees. Oh Bella, my Bella. Didn't you see? I might have been the very best part of your life for a while but you would always be the entirety of mine.

But how could she believe me so easily? After all the times I'd professed my love, I only negated those words once and she fell for it hook, line, and sinker. I left the love of my existence believing that I didn't love nor want her. But I had had to walk away. I was putting her in too much danger by keeping her so close. It was my selfishness that endangered her. If not for me, she would never have been hunted by James. If not for me, Jasper never would have snapped at her on her eighteenth birthday. She was on the edge of danger all the time and I put her there. I had to leave in order to save Bella.

But the fact that she had believed me so readily was like a jagged knife to my heart.

Did she really think I was so fickle? Or was it that I had been so poor at conveying my sentiments?

How could she not know that she was my raison d'être? My heart and soul made flesh? My guiding light in a world of darkness?

How could she not know that my existence was entirely dependent on hers?

Oh, admittedly it was convenient that she accepted the news so quickly. It saved me a day of arguing.

I wanted that day though. Selfishly wanted more time with her. I had only started so early in the day because I thought she would take so much more persuading.

Instead she just…gave in.

I promised her a clean break. I owed it to her. I made my family move and told Alice to not search for her future. We'd done enough damage. The only thing we could do to make up for it was leave her alone.

At least that's what I'd been telling myself and the rest of my family. They didn't want to leave, especially Alice, but it was the only way. If we loved Bella, we had to leave her be. She deserved a life, not a nightmare.

But it seemed none of us could do exactly that.

I'd left behind the pictures of us. I was going to keep them but…

I needed to keep a piece of me close to her.

It was stupid. Completely irrational.

I simply couldn't stop myself.

I needed to know that while she lived I'd be close to her in some small way. And when she died…

Well, I had never planned on outliving her by long.

The rest of the family –with the exception of Rosalie who complained about being forced to move- respected my decision to a point. They moved, they didn't talk about her around me but they thought about her constantly. And they wouldn't let me leave! I needed to go, to search out Victoria and destroy her. I needed that distraction.

They denied me. They told me I was in no state to go anywhere.

They kept me captive. Their kindness was cruelty to an unbelievable degree. No one gave my mind reading the credit it deserved. They didn't understand the torture they were putting me through in their attempt to help me.

Only Jasper understood. He kept me calm. But when he went hunting I snapped, I broke a whole bunch of things and took off running and no one managed to catch me. They gave up once I got to the coast. They knew they had no chance of tailing me through the waves.

I'd searched for Victoria at night and during the day, I curled up into a ball and remembered.

I guess Alice took my desertion as permission to look at Bella's future.

I was left alone to my hunt until Alice and Jasper came after me to tell me that for some reason Bella's future had just vanished.

We set off as soon as the news sunk in. I saved my questions for the car.

When we arrived home the three of us could smell the difference right away. There was a distinct vampire scent but different from our own. It seemed to be mixed with the freesia smell of Bella, but I refused to admit it aloud. Then there was the terrible smell of wet dog. The last time I'd smelled that was the first time I'd come to Forks. But the werewolves had died with Ephraim Black hadn't they? I put that thought aside for later and concentrated on the smell. It was mainly in the living room and we followed it to Carlisle's study.

"I've seen her in here," Alice said as we entered the study. "And I can smell her in here too." Alice was right. Bella's scent was strong in this room. So was the smell of vampire.

I felt a terrible fear rise up in me but I repressed it. This strange vampire couldn't have killed Bella. I would surely have felt it if she'd been killed.

I decided to puzzle out what had happened here. "So she came into the house using her key," I stated as I spied a pile of newspaper in the corner. It was three days worth. We each took a day. The information in the papers was like a kick to the gut.

No.

"Oh, my god, Edward!" Alice cried. "Charlie's dead and Bella is too most likely, they say."

No.

I couldn't comprehend it. I refused to believe it.

I looked for alternative explanations. Anything other than this impossible, unendurable falsehood. The ethanol on the trains, the explosions, the fires. There was nothing left. That happened a couple weeks ago. And yet…Bella's scent was fresh, like she'd just been here, and it was all over the house.

"Maybe she came here one last time before moving to Jacksonville?" I supposed. "If Charlie…" I didn't want to even say it. "Then Bella must have moved to Florida to live with Renee and Phil."

Before Alice and Jasper could say anything in response, I left full speed for Charlie's house. Surely I would find some answers there. I might even find Bella. My heart seemed to leap at that thought. If Bella were there I'd hug her, kiss her and make her promise never to scare me again like that…

_And then she'd tell you to leave_.

The realization of what her probable reaction would be shattered my dream and sent fresh pain through my heart. Even if she didn't kick me out, I couldn't stay. Nothing had changed. She was still an angel and I was still a monster.

I came to an abrupt halt as the wind shifted. I was suddenly downwind of her house and the stench of dog was overwhelming. I heard a lot of movement and talking going on in there as I stood just outside the door.

"Damn, Jake, you're putting all this into storage?" a teenage male asked. _There's a lot of shit here_, he thought.

"Yeah, I promised Bells, so suck it up, Embry, and keep packing. And be careful with those picture frames. When Bella wants this stuff again, I'm sending it back to her in tact. We owe her that much." _She's sacrificing so much for us, we do owe her that much_, the second boy, Jake, thought.

The name sent warning bells ringing through my mind. Jake. Jacob Black. He said she was pretty and danced with her at prom. He had a crush on her and his father knew what we were.

I was so confused. What was the boy doing here and what was Bella sacrificing for them?

"You know, I think Bella's the only leech I like," another male said.

Leech? What? Bella was a…

"Shut up, Quil," Jake chastised him. "The rest of them are leeches. Bella doesn't like being called that. She's way better, and you know that." _The rest of them didn't care like she does. The rest of them didn't even care about her. They left her!_

Impossible.

My heart did that strange phantom clenching thing again. Bella was too good to be a vampire. And yet…

If she was, then it was permanent. No turning back. That meant she was like me now, and there was no more reason to stay away.

As selfish and monstrous as it was, I was overjoyed at the news of her death.

"That's what I'm saying," Quil retorted. "What other bloodsucker would leave in order for us to be normal people again?"

"Where is she going anyway?" the second one, Embry, asked. "She used to run with vampires. Is she going to find them?"

_Not all of them_, Jake thought. "Kind of. She wants to find her one friend, Alice Cullen." _God, I hope you're doing okay, Bells. I wish you'd call already. _Jacob seemed worried. He knew where Bella was.

"Wasn't she dating one of them? Wouldn't she want to find him?" Quil asked curiously. A tide of happiness surged over me. If she were looking for me it would be relatively easy for me to find her.

"No," Jake all but screamed, startling me before I could decide which direction she would most likely have taken. "She doesn't want to find the asshole that left her." _Bastard,_ Jake sneered mentally. He was spewing nothing but venom and hate at the thought of me. Not that I blamed him. _That asshole left her so broken_.

And then the vision of Bella I saw in Jake's head made me drop to my knees in agony. She was curled up on the forest floor, completely unresponsive as he lifted her up into his arms and carried her back to Charlie. Her body was so limp. She really did look broken. I did that. I broke her.

"Did you hear that?" Jake asked the others. "Someone's outside."

He opened the front door only to find me sitting there on the porch.

"What the hell are you doing here, Cullen?" _The nerve of this guy showing up here after all that's happened._

"Can I talk to you, Jacob?" I asked as I got up to look at him. His face was not friendly in the least. He looked like he wanted nothing more than to tear me limb from limb, which he actually did want to do. His thoughts gave him away.

"What do you want?" he asked crossing his arms over his chest scowling at me.

Just then both our phones rang. My call was from a frantic Alice while Jake's was from…

"Bells," he breathed in relief into the phone. Jake turned his back to me as if that could deter me from listening in on his words and thoughts. Lucky for me, I could focus on his conversation and mine simultaneously.

"Edward, where are you? I can't see you! You disappeared once you got to Charlie's house."

"That's where I am right now, Alice."

"Who else is there? Why can't I see you?"

I shrugged even though she couldn't see me. "Jacob Black is here with two of his friends packing up the house. Alice, Bella is…"

"I know. I saw her outside some town on the phone."

"She must be calling Jacob. He's on the phone with her now."

"I don't like that I can't see you. Jazz and I are on the way now. We'll be there in two minutes."

I snapped my phone shut so I could tune into Jacob. He had thanked god that Bella was okay. She asked if he was okay, and I felt jealousy rise up inside me, angry and irrational. What was he to her?

I had no right to be jealous. I had given up all right to call her mine.

But everything was different now! She was a vampire, and I was going to find her and take her back. She was still too good for me, but I simply refused to let anyone else have her.

Jake turned back to eye me for a split second before walking into the house. I could still hear him, the fool.

"Bells, he's here." _The bastard!_

"Who?" Bella asked.

"You know…the asshole," Jacob ground out through his teeth.

"Oh," Bella gasped softly. Jacob said asshole and she immediately knew it was me. As accurate as the assessment was, it stung. "Jake, I'll call you later, but for now…don't think about me."

"What?" Jacob asked incredulously. I had to stifle a chuckle. Bella was trying to warn him. "What do you mean don't think about you? I'm talking to you."

"Shut up, Jake. Just…look I know it sounds crazy, but he can hear your thoughts so don't think about me. I'll call you later."

"What?" Jacob asked in frustration. _He can hear my thoughts? What the hell?_ "Fine. Whatever. Just text me your coordinates then."

"Fine," Bella said abruptly before hanging up.

Bella must have texted him what he asked but not without first adjuring him to not think or say the coordinates, but the idiot thought the numbers in his head so I heard him anyway. I chuckled quietly. Could he not follow directions? I put the coordinates in my phone and learned that Bella was just outside of Salt Lake City. I could be there in a matter of hours if I left right then.

_I'm trying not to think! Dammit, Bella!_ Jacob thought tersely. Y_ou can't just tell someone not to think and expect them not to think right away. This is so stupid._

I was laughing at Jacob's internal debate as Jasper and Alice approached me.

"Why are you laughing?" Alice demanded. She was still annoyed that she couldn't see me in her visions.

"Jacob Black is trying to help Bella and she doesn't want me to know where she is."

"Why is that funny?" Alice asked.

"Because he's thinking everything that she's telling him even though she told him not to think about it. He's giving everything away." I hadn't laughed so much in ages. I had found out that there was nothing to stop me and the love of my existence being together anymore. The fact that she didn't want to see me was merely a minor consideration. I had all of eternity to convince her otherwise after all.

Just then Jacob's phone rang again. I smirked as he thought Bella.

Her voice came through the phone muffled, but I could still hear her clearly as she pointed out what was rapidly becoming obvious to us all.

"Jake, this is stupid."

"Yeah, Bells, you're telling me. I'm sure he…" Jake peeked out the door to glare at me, only to see Alice and Jasper with me. "_They_ know everything now. What do you want me to do?" he sounded completely exasperated.

"I don't know…" Bella sounded annoyed and…scared? No, she should never be scared of me. Not anymore.

"Can I talk to her, Jacob?" I asked.

"NO!" I heard from both Jacob and Bella at the same time. And that definitely stung. Bella didn't want to talk to me. But then again, why would she?

Alice held out her hand for the phone just as we heard Bella ask, "Is Alice there?"

Grudgingly, Jacob answered yes and handed the phone to Alice as she flitted into the house. Jacob came back to address Jasper and me.

"You may as well come in too," he sneered, turning the basic courtesy into an insult, a way to clearly show us how inferior he considered us.

I snorted. In the hundred odd years of my existence I'd had far worse thrown at me. The child could save his rudeness for those who gave a damn.

I didn't focus in on the phone conversation since Alice would tell me everything in a bit anyway. Instead I picked Jacob's brain since he was so good at giving out information.

"Were you with Bella at our house?" I asked Jacob.

Jacob eyed me warily but nodded anyway. So Bella was with Jacob and Alice couldn't see her. I was over here with Jacob and she couldn't see me. There was something about that Jacob that made him undetectable to Alice. He was a Quileute. He was a…of course. Jacob was also a werewolf. They were such volatile creatures that Alice mustn't be able see them. That made sense now.

"What happened, Jacob?" I asked.

"Like I'd tell you," he spat. I glanced over at Jasper who nodded infinitesimally at me. He'd calm Jacob down. Quil and Embry were looking to Jacob and then to us, confused. I would have been too. Who else could unite enemies together like this but Bella? She was friends with vampires and werewolves. A danger magnet if ever there was.

Jacob looked confused for a second himself as Japer sent waves of emotion to make him more confiding. Soon, the hardness in his face softened and I could tell Jasper's magic had worked.

"Why didn't Bella go to live with her mother after Charlie's accident?" I asked.

The three boys looked at me like I had sprouted a third eye.

"Her mom and step-dad died first," Quil said without thinking.

"What?" Jasper asked.

"Gas leak and fire," Jacob explained morosely. "She and Charlie were coming back from the airport when the train derailed."

"But Bella got away," I said to myself mostly, but it was loud enough for the others to hear.

"Sort of," Jacob said. "Two other leeches got her to the forest and that's when we came into the picture. Two of us chased the man away," Jacob continued as I saw in his head the image of Laurent fleeing and two wolves giving chase. "But then the woman lunged at Bella and bit her before we could stop her." I grimaced at the image I saw of Victoria jumping onto Bella knocking her down and then biting Bella's neck at the base. _It's my fault she's a bloodsucker now_, Jacob thought sadly. _God, Bella, I'm so sorry_.

Jacob blamed himself for Bella's transformation. It happened on his watch, on his turf. He felt as if he failed her. I actually felt badly for the boy.

"How did her transformation go?" I asked snapping Jacob out of his self-loathing, and I think that Jasper sent another wave of calm his way.

"While Paul and Sam took care of the woman, I ran Bella to some woods far enough away where no one would hear her. I didn't know until three days later when she woke up that we were on your property."

"Was she in a lot of pain?" I asked knowing full well she was. Jacob looked at me pointedly and thought back to the three days to show me Bella's change. He was catching on quick about how my power worked. The images of Bella writhing in pain on the forest floor were worse than the images of Bella curled in the fetal position when they found her after I left. At least then she was still pure. Now she was condemned like me. Still, I couldn't undo what had already been done…to be condemned with Bella would make this immortal life infinitely more bearable.

I wondered with more trepidation if she'd take me back. Did she by some miracle have any love for me left after what I did to her? Even if she had only a spark of love or feeling for me, I could work with that. Even if she still believed the lie, I'd have an eternity to convince her of the truth.

It was easy to speak glibly of eternity though. Perhaps I was too confident. If I hadn't convinced her within a few centuries she might easily meet someone else.

I would never survive that.

"What's her plan?" I asked hoping to get Jacob to inadvertently tell me through his thoughts.

He tried to fight against his own mind. Jacob flinched angrily trying not to think of Bella, but I was still getting glimpses of his thoughts. …not going to kill you, Bella…gross, rabbits…key to house…globe…letter to Esme…map…Brazil…island…

"Brazil?" I asked. "She's headed to Brazil? To the island?"

"Damn it! Get out of my head!" Jacob growled. His two friends looked on in confusion again. It was clear they weren't really comfortable being in a house with three vampires, but I was sure they wouldn't have left Jacob alone with us so they stayed though they really had nothing to offer as far as information went. Jasper sent another wave of calm at him just as Alice came back from upstairs and sat back down with us.

"Thank, you, Jacob Black," Alice said with sincerity. "For what you and your dad and your friends have done for Bella." Jasper and I gave Alice a curious look but I saw everything that Bella must have just told her. Billy Black took care of all the financial arrangements for Bella. Jacob helped her adjust to her new life and helped her plan, and even encouraged her to find Alice. He was very protective of Bella, and I, too, was grateful after all that she had lost plus everything else that happened to her.

"She's the one sacrificing," Jacob replied with a shrug. "Leaving the only people she knows now just so we can lead normal lives. But then you had to come back," he sneered at me. It took some self-control on my part not to roll my eyes at the child. Still, he was being a good friend to Bella.

Jacob went on to explain that the reason they were werewolves was because there were vampires. Bella knew that if she left they'd be regular teenagers again and would age like normal. _You deserve to live a normal life, Jake._ Jacob was thinking of something Bella had said to him.

"She wants to find me," Alice smiled. "I'm going to have my sister back!" she grinned happily.

"Yeah," Jacob said. "She wants to see you, Alice." I understood his tone. Bella didn't want to see me, was what he implied.

"She said that she doesn't want to see me?" I prodded just to get a reaction out of Jacob, and I got it. He immediately thought about asking Bella if she loved me. She wasn't looking at him but at the floor when she answered sadly, while shaking her head. _Doesn't matter either way. He doesn't want me_. And then she added how she didn't want a man that didn't want her.

Oh, god. The heartbreak and then the venom in her voice nearly did me in. She truly believed I didn't want her. Of all the ridiculous...I needed to fix this.

But I still had a hard time believing that she had believed me. After the thousands of times I had told her I loved her, how could she let one word break her faith in me?

"Jacob, I need to find her," I told him.

"Fat chance, loser," he retorted. _No way you're going to get a chance to hurt her like that again_, he thought as he stared me down.

"I won't," I answered his thoughts. "I'm a quick learner, Jacob Black, and I don't make the same mistake twice." I stared back at him. "I love her, Jacob."

"Yeah, well, you have a funny way of showing it," he retorted angrily.

Alice snickered and Jacob and I both turned to look at her.

"The kid has a point," she said giving Jacob a slight smile. Jasper snickered then too and nodded in agreement with Alice.

"Are you going to help me find Bella or not?" I asked no one in particular.

"She wants to be alone right now, Edward," Alice answered. "I already asked if she wants me to accompany her." I looked at my sister, amazed that Bella didn't want Alice with her, and Alice was the one she actually wanted to see. I couldn't imagine Bella wanting me to accompany her then. "But I'm not hurt by it. I already know she wants to see me. I'll just wait for her in Rio."

I thought that over. Could I just wait it out? I didn't want to, but if Bella really wanted to be alone…

"She can take care of herself, Edward. She's not a weak human," Alice pointed out.

Jacob snorted. "You got that right. She's bionic now."

I looked at him and couldn't help but chuckle.

"Really?" I asked. Jacob nodded. I could tell he was slightly embarrassed. "I'm not exactly surprised. She's a newborn. Newborns have tremendous strength."

"What?" Alice and Jasper asked.

I looked at Jacob. He rolled his eyes. "Oh, go ahead and tell them. These guys will figure it out some time anyway," he gestured to his two buddies.

"It seems that Bella can do more pushups than Jacob and can also beat him at arm wrestling as well as in a race." I smiled proudly. My Bella wasn't a clumsy little thing that tripped over air anymore. The others, even Jacob, laughed at the images they conjured up, but I actually saw the images in Jacob's head. It seemed that Bella was taking to this new life as well as could be expected.

"How is she handling the thirst?" I asked with some trepidation.

Jacob made a face, and it was his friends' cue to leave I guess.

"Are we fighting each other tonight?" Quil asked.

Jacob, Alice, Jasper, and I looked at each other and then shook our heads in the negative.

"All right, then I've gotta go. Can we finish packing this stuff tomorrow?"

"Yeah," Jacob answered. "After school."

"You'll be okay?" Embry asked as he and Quil were about to leave. He didn't really want to leave Jacob alone with us.

"Yeah," Jacob said. He knew he was perfectly safe with us. He was our link to Bella. "These guys won't hurt me. I'm the only person who can get a hold of Bella," he smiled smugly. We three nodded in agreement, and it was enough to convince Quil and Embry.

"So, what about her thirst?" I asked again.

Jacob narrowed his eyes at me. "You really care?"

"Of course," I answered slightly offended. I was interested in all things Bella.

Jacob told us about the first time Bella hunted, if you could call it that. It was so typical Bella. Newborn Bella, but Bella nonetheless.

"She really apologized to the rabbits?" Alice asked smiling. "That's so cute!"

"She probably didn't think I could hear, but yeah, she did." Jacob smiled a little. "Then she built up the courage to take down a deer. She was pretty proud because she didn't think she could at first, and she only hunted when she absolutely had to. Oh, and she was kind of pissed about her eye color," Jacob admitted." We looked at him curiously. "She'd ask me if they were getting any lighter or golden or something. I'd tell her no and she'd make a face." Jacob shrugged indicating he didn't know what that was about.

"Jacob, when I was reading your thoughts earlier and you were trying to block them, I heard you say something along the lines of how you wouldn't kill Bella?" I asked.

Jacob's face turned somber as he showed me what Bella's request was.

"That was the very first day. She had just lost her whole family. She blames herself. She wasn't thinking straight," he defended.

Alice and Jasper looked at me wincing as if in pain. "Bella blamed herself for her parents' deaths. She wanted to die as well because she believed she had nothing left. She asked if Jacob could do it," I told them.

"No!" Alice whispered in horror.

"She knows how to kill a bloodsucker," Jacob added. "I assured her there was no way the rest of the pack would do it either. They wouldn't; they can't defy me."

"Thank you, Jacob," I said sincerely. He looked at me curiously. _I don't get it. If he loves her, why'd he leave her?_

"I thought I was doing the best thing for her," I answered him.

"Damn." Jacob swore, clearly annoyed at what I was doing. "No wonder Bella doesn't want to see you. That gets annoying."

Alice and Jasper chuckled at Jacob's assessment. They seemed to be doing a lot of laughing at my expense today.

"Believe me, Jacob, the annoyance goes both ways. I don't like to hear everyone else's thoughts. Though I can't hear Bella's," I confessed to him.

Jacob was taken aback, and he was going to ask my why but I answered first, "I don't know. The one person I'd actually love to hear the thoughts of and I can't," I complained. We all just sat there in silence a moment. "So what's her plan?" I asked.

"She learned about Isle Esme," Alice said. "She wants to go there. She won't fly though because she doesn't trust herself around people. She's just traveling by foot at night. She tried to sound brave but…"

"She's scared," Jacob finished for Alice. "That's how she was when she left yesterday." He sounded sad. He felt badly for Bella, almost wishing he'd gone with her part of the way at least. He was mad at himself for not going ahead and doing that. He was worried about his friend. "She really didn't want you to go with her?" Jacob asked Alice. _I'd feel better if someone were with her, _he thought.

Alice shook her head in response. _She's trying to be brave_, Jacob concluded in his mind.

"Was she pissed that you guys know about her?" Jacob questioned Alice again.

"No, not really. I told her I'd be waiting for her in Rio and that Edward would probably be there too."

"Probably?" I accused. I'd be anywhere Bella was going. I had to see her.

"She wondered why you'd want to be there," Alice informed me. "She thought you'd be too...distracted."

I sighed. I understood the connotations perfectly well though I wished that I didn't. It was a necessary part of the lie, but I was disconcerted to find how easily she believed that one. I had a lot to make up for.

"Why don't you tail her, Edward?" Jacob suggested just as he was thinking it. I didn't even see it coming.

We all looked at him in surprise. He looked surprised at his own idea as well.

"Well, I already know she's nervous about being out there all alone. She doesn't want anyone following her, but I figure you'd keep an eye on her, make sure she's all right. Plus, she already is pissed at you, who cares if she gets madder?"

Alice laughed again. "Once again, the kid has a point. And I can see it, Edward. She's hurt and angry but is also a bit more confident in herself that you're going with her, but…oh," Alice smiled and I could see her vision. Bella would be trying to ditch me. I frowned at that, but could I blame her? "You'll both make it to Rio okay…eventually."

"How long?" I asked. "And will she be speaking to me?"

"Two weeks," Alice answered confidently. "Though the speaking part isn't clear yet. She hasn't made up her mind."

I smiled. That meant I still had a chance with Bella. That was all I needed to hear.

"Jacob," I smiled at him as I got up. "I'll be in touch. Right now, I'm going to find Bella." My Bella.

Jacob, Alice, and Jasper all smiled and nodded in approval. Jacob was right. Bella was already mad at me. She could get angrier if she wanted to, but at least I'd get to try talk to her.

"Um, you'll have to take this to her," Alice said handing me the little navy blue passport. I was shocked at first, but Alice explained, "I told Bella I'd get this to her." She was smirking and I had to resist the urge to unleash my powers of sarcasm by bowing down to her and going 'all hail Alice the great'. I was, I reminded myself, grateful to her.

"Good luck," she told me and I remembered all the reasons why she was my favorite sister. It wasn't at all because of Rosalie's irritability.

I kissed Alice on the forehead and clapped Jasper on the back. "Okay, Alice, Jasper, I'll see you in two weeks." I nodded at the mongrel and turned on my heel to chase after my love.

**A/N Haha. That "mongrel" line cracks me up for some reason. So there you go. How'd you like the first EPoV? Now that our boy is in the picture, there's more of his PoV to come. You want to read more? You know what to do. Click below and holler at me and cheer a sister up.**


	6. The Past Comes Back

**A/N Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight related. I am no Steph Meyer, clearly.**

**Hmm, I probably shouldn't post again so soon, but it is ATO Wednesday and this is a short one. Shoot, I'm not as ahead of the game anymore, kids, only by two chapters so savor the flavor and show me some love. Now, GREAR.**

**Chapter 6: The Past Comes Back**

**BPoV**

"Jake, this is stupid," I spat out as soon as Jacob answered my second call. I had texted him my coordinates and advised him again not to say or even think any information I sent him, but just as soon as I sent it I realized it was impossible.

"Yeah, Bells, you're telling me. I'm sure he…" there was a pause before Jacob continued, disgruntled. "They know everything now. What do you want me to do?" he sounded just as exasperated as I was.

They. I didn't know who they consisted of, but Edward was definitely one of the party.

"I don't know…" I answered hesitantly. I really didn't know. I didn't even know why Edward would be in Forks or at my house for that matter. So much for staying away like he had promised, I thought cynically. Everything he told me had been a lie.

"Can I talk to her, Jacob?" I heard Edward's smooth voice ask and I panicked.

"NO!" both Jacob and I all but yelled at the same time. I was not in the right frame of mind to talk to him. I didn't know if I'd ever be in the right frame of mind to do so, but right then was definitely not the time.

I had gotten to Salt Lake City, well, the outskirts anyway, in one night. I was waiting for nightfall before I continued on. The first day away from Forks was not good. I knew I should have called Jake sooner to let him know I was okay, but he had school during the day and I didn't want to bother him. It was late afternoon when I did call. I had wandered in some woods all day, waiting and spending most of it by a stream. There was no one around for miles, which was a good thing. I hadn't attempted to be around regular people yet, and I was still feeling a great deal of trepidation about it.

I had tried, over and over and over, to remember something that the Cullens might have said about newborns.

It was just so hard. The memories were like watching a damaged, fuzzy, black and white video compared to the high tech color of my new life. Not only that, every time I came across a memory of Edward I felt like I was being dipped in a vat of acid. I gained a new sympathy for the victims of Sadam Hussein. At least they only died once and they didn't choose to do it.

Every moment of agony was all the worse for knowing I could have avoided it.

"Is Alice there?" I asked. Alice I could talk to. Maybe she would give me the answers I needed. I had barely gotten the question out when I heard her on the other end.

"Bella!" she cried in relief. "Oh, Bella, I'm so sorry. Are you all right? We're so worried about you."

"Um, we?" I queried. That at least was a simple question. Ascertain their numbers; it might come in useful later, said the little voice in my head. I decided to go with it.

"Yes, I'm here with Jasper and Edward." Only two others. The gifted ones were all together. "I saw you in a few visions then I kept losing you."

That startled me. "You…checked in on me?" I asked quietly, shaken. I was definitely confused.

"Yes, of course." She said impatiently, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "When you kept disappearing, I got so scared so Jazz and I got Edward and we-"

"Why?" I interrupted her. Why would she check on the human? The one they'd abandoned?

"Why what?"

"Why would you…" I wanted to ask why they'd care, but it seemed rude since Alice sounded genuinely frantic.

"Why what?" Alice repeated her question.

I decided to ignore it. "Alice, I'm…I'm one of you now," I said softly, just in case she'd missed that.

"Bella, I know!" she cried sounding positively jolly. As if my change was a good thing. "But how?" she asked as I heard her going up stairs. I listened intently to the background noise and by the number of steps she took and the creaking board she stepped on I knew that the bed she sat on while talking to me was mine.

I was pretty impressed that I could figure all that out over the phone.

I launched into an edited explanation of everything that had happened; my mother's gas leak and then the train derailment, leaving out the part about Victoria being behind it all and then skipping to the part where she bit me in the forest. I told her about Jacob and the other werewolves and how I ended up at her house and decided to find her and Carlisle and Esme if I could. She was excited to hear that I was looking for her, and it made me miss her so much more. She was the closest thing I had to a sister. I also told her about what Billy Black and Jacob were doing to help me and why I needed to leave Forks.

It was a fairly brief summary and I left out all the emotional stuff. I didn't want to lose one of my last friends but a small voice in the back of my mind was telling me that she was a Cullen and they came with Edward attached, that in the interest of my mental health it was best to start phasing her out of my life again but on my terms this time.

But I couldn't cut her out completely. I loved her far too much for that. I pushed my bad thoughts away for now.

I'd always been good at repressing unpleasant thoughts.

"Oh, and, Alice, I borrowed a few items from your closet too. I hope you don't mind," I concluded.

She laughed. "My closet is your closet, Bella. No worries. So where are you? Do you want me to travel with you?" She sounded hopeful, and I had to admit, I would have loved for her to join me, but for some reason I told her no thank you. I wanted to be alone for now. I mean, I had forever to be alone. I hated the prospect of that, but I needed to get used to the feeling. If Alice had joined me now, I would grow more and more attached to her and it would be that much harder when I had to leave her again since it was obvious that I couldn't stay with the Cullens. I couldn't be that close to Edward knowing that he didn't want me. It would just be torture. I just wanted to visit them for a little while before moving on to…well, I didn't know where yet, but I was going to have to move on.

"Are you sure?" Alice asked. She must have heard the uncertainty in my voice. The idea of companionship on this journey was very alluring, and I was just about to give in and tell her yes, travel with me, I'm scared and alone, but I was tired of being seen as weak, even if I still was in some respects. No, I needed to do this alone.

"Yes, Alice. Will you meet me in Rio?" I needed time to be alone, but I also needed answers about vampirism. I decided that I couldn't get all those answers over the phone.

I toyed with the idea of setting a date but I quickly decided that that would tie me down.

Besides, she was a clairvoyant wasn't she? Let her figure out when I'd get there.

Obviously I still had issues.

"Of course, Bella. And, um, I should mention that Edward will probably be there too." She sounded nervous. She should have been. I felt my anger swell but I pushed it down. Couldn't the guy just come to a decision and stick with it? Why did he insist on torturing me?

"Why?" I asked her. My voice was cold. It scared me that I was capable of such anger.

"Why wouldn't he?" She sounded as confused as I was under all my rage. "Bella he…"

I ruthlessly cut her off. I don't want to hear it. "I would have thought that he'd be too distracted," I said icily, more brusquely than I had intended to, but I was remembering his words once again.

"Of course, I'll always love you…in a way."

"No." Alice sounded bewildered, or maybe it was my harsh tone that caught her off guard. I had never spoken to Alice that way before. "He's not," she finished.

"I'm sorry, Alice," I apologized.

"No, it's fine, Bella. I'll see you in Rio. But when you're in the Amazon, tell Zafrina hello for me would you? And listen to her, okay? She'll really help you expand your gift."

"What?" This time it was I who was mystified. "Zafrina? Who's that? And I don't have a gift, Alice. I can't do anything…"

"Bella? Trust me." She spoke with all the confidence knowing the future gave her.

"Okay," I agreed not really understanding exactly what I was agreeing to. But I'd known Alice long enough to know not to doubt or question her.

It's just not practical.

I got her number and programmed it in my phone so I could get a hold of her if I needed to. She asked me if I wanted Edward's number as well. I didn't know how to answer. Why would I need Edward's number?

"I don't think I need it," I finally answered her in a voice barely above a whisper. Too many emotions had been stirred up, and I really needed to end the conversation. I had a few hours before nightfall. I needed to think.

"Okay," was all she said about it. "Contact me for anything, Bella. Promise."

"Promise." I reluctantly replied. I wasn't sure about accepting help from any of the Cullens but I guessed it would get Alice off my back.

More to the point, I'd seen how cheap they held promises. I wasn't too bothered about breaking a few myself.

Before we hung up Alice asked me about my passport, thinking about how I would cross into Mexico. I had left it behind intending to somehow get there without it. I didn't know how, but I didn't think I'd do it legitimately like, by talking to customs or border patrol officers, for instance.

I'd probably end up killing them and feasting on their blood.

Alice was sure I'd need it so I told her where it was in my room. She told me she'd get it to me soon. I asked if she was going to bring it to me, but she told me not to worry about it. I'd get. I knew better than to argue with Alice so I just assumed she'd bring it to me some time.

After I hung up, I found a secluded spot in the woods and just sat among some large rocks trying to process everything.

The Cullens, well, some of them anyway, knew what had happened, what I was now, and what my plans were. How did I feel about that? Actually, what I wanted to know and yet didn't want to know at the same time was how did they feel about it? Alice wanted to see me, and she claimed Edward did too, but that just didn't make sense to me.

Why did he want to speak to me or meet me in Rio? What about his distractions? And why, why was that chasm where my heart was aching so much?

I wondered, for just a moment, if he could he possibly want me after all. I felt a little flutter of hope inside for just one second before I squashed it, disgusted with myself. No, I couldn't allow myself to hope. Hope was dangerous.

Where James, Victoria and Laurent had all failed to finish me off, hope might just have done the job.

I rummaged through my backpack for the journal and a pen. I had nothing else to do. Plus I was emotional; I had to take the edge off somehow. Violence or writing were my available options and, as I'd never been one for violence, I just began writing.

**Dear Dad,**

**I really miss you. So much. I can't believe I'm here and you're not. I should be with you, you know. And Mom. And Phil.**

**Oh, god, I am so sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am. The only thought that brings me even the slightest peace is the knowledge that you are in a far better place now. All of you. You don't have me there to mess things up anymore. That's probably why I'm still down here walking the earth. I've hurt you enough, I know. I have the rest of eternity to repent and it still won't be enough to make up for the amount of damage I've done. But I really need your strength, Dad. You're the strongest person I ever knew. Did you know that? I'm sorry I never got the chance to tell you. I never told you enough that loved you.**

**I'm alone now. I don't want to complain about it. It's just the way things have to be. I know this and accept this, but I'm scared. I'm trying so hard to be brave, Daddy. To be brave like you always were. Help me please. I know I don't deserve your help but I also know that whatever I've done you've always forgiven me and helped me to work it all out.**

**I don't know if I can do this.**

I stopped writing because my chest was shaking with dry sobs. I had never called Charlie Daddy. Not since I was six or seven. But I needed my daddy at this very moment. And I wanted so much to cry actual tears. To let it all out, but I couldn't.

I closed the journal abruptly jostling the pictures that I'd tucked inside the cover. They stuck out enough to catch my attention. I pulled them out to look at.

**EPoV**

I had about five hours of daylight left to get to Salt Lake City. The quickest way to get there at this time was by airplane so, although I would rather have been running, I caught a plane out of Seattle and made it to Salt Lake City with about an hour and a half to spare when all was said and done.

I let Alice and Jacob know that I arrived and was on the hunt for Bella. Jacob let me know that Bella hadn't moved yet. She was supposed to text him when she started traveling again and she hadn't so far. That was a good thing. Time was on my side, for now anyway.

I traveled light, just bringing a backpack with me in order to play the part of a camper or hiker. I threw the bag on as I left the airport and hailed a cab. I consulted my map and told the driver to drop me off on the outskirts of Salt Lake City in accordance with the coordinates Bella had given Jacob earlier. There was a bed and breakfast nearby so I had the cab drop me off there. It was extraordinarily aggravating making small talk with him for the half an hour it took for him to drive me to my destination. All I wanted to do was concentrate on Bella and this man felt he had to ask me to detail every minute aspect about camping just because I answered absentmindedly in the affirmative when he asked if I was the outdoorsy type.

Had I been paying attention to his mind I could have answered no and avoided the entire ordeal.

I sighed in relief when we finally reached my destination.

I noticed the woods nearby and I headed straight there once the cab was out of sight. I had Bella's scent memorized and I caught it faintly outside the bed and breakfast, but it got stronger as I headed into the trees. I became more excited and hopeful as Bella's scent got stronger. This was almost too easy. I had to slow myself down though and rethink my game plan. I couldn't just appear out of nowhere and expect Bella to let me join her. I didn't even know if she'd talk to me if she were to see me. Was I to let on that I was going to tail her or should I hang back? Did either Jacob or Alice tell her I was coming after her?

Hanging back was probably the right thing to do for now and, while I couldn't actually see my love, I could smell her and I was the closest I'd been to her in months. I wanted so much to run over to wherever she was right now, but I knew that wouldn't go over well at all. I stayed where I was and tried to be content knowing that I was near her in these woods.

It was harder than I would have thought. Although the scent of her healed the breach in my chest somewhat, I was like a heroin junkie. I needed to be closer to her. To see her, hold her, kiss her…

If I got any closer, she'd probably hear me and then just take off, possibly in a panic. The very thought of Bella running from me was like a knife twisting into my heart. It had been a long time since those early days when I'd feared she'd take off as the true horror of my situation struck her. However the realization that her flight would actually be the most likely outcome brought back the pain a thousand fold.

She wouldn't be running from my vampirism anymore. She'd be running from me.

That would be unendurable. No, I needed to keep my distance until Bella started moving.

There was a stream nearby so I followed it for a little bit before deciding to climb the tallest tree I could find and check the view for Bella. I spotted her sitting on some large rocks about a mile and half from where I was hidden. God, she was gorgeous. She was just as breathtaking as I remembered her. Maybe even more so. Her dark brown hair contrasted beautifully against her pale skin. The contrast was even greater now that she had a vampire's pallor. Her pink, full lips were pursed as she looked to be deep in thought staring at some photographs.

It took all my will power not to close the little distance between us.

It was harder to abstain from her presence than from drinking her blood. I could have been next to my Bella in seconds. But no, I remained where I was, remembering how she didn't want to talk to me when she called Jacob. If Bella didn't want to speak to me, there was no way she'd want to see me right now.

I had to be happy with just being a mile or so from touching her, though I doubted she'd allow me to even shake her hand if I were with her now.

Suddenly, I saw Bella reaching for her phone. She was texting. I could only assume she was sending a message to Jacob letting him know she was about to leave. As she awaited his response, Bella began gathering the photographs and a book she had out and put them in her backpack. She glanced at her phone. I guess Jacob was texting Bella back. She looked horror stricken from whatever she had read and she immediately called him. I hoped that everything was okay. Bella looked pretty upset. I was about to run to her, but my phone sounded with an incoming message from Alice.

I checked it. It pretty much confirmed what I already knew.

**She knows you're bringing her passport.**

I ran to Bella.

**A/N Uh-huh. They finally meet face to face next chapter. hehe. Thanks to Phantom for all her hard (or not so hard) work. And thanks to the reviews last chapter, which cheered me up. A lot of you are going back to school soon or have already. I start in a couple weeks myself so good luck to all of us. ATO provides a nice break from reality for me, and I hope it does the same for you. Don't go broke buying all your books for classes. But if you do, try not to cry or get too depressed about it, right, Car? Blah, books (that's textbooks, fun books are all good). I'll stop babbling now so you can review. And I'll go write some more.**


	7. Charity Case

**A/N Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I'm just a scrub that borrows her characters.**

**Okay, so you have my beta Phantom-Writer3739 to thank for this posting. Why? Well, because I wanted to plug her one shot that she has posted for a "Once Upon a Time" contest. So first thing's first, read this bad boy, review, then read Phantom's one shot and if you like it, vote for it! Simple as that. Summary and info on _Clear Sight_ at the end. **

**Chapter 7: Charity Case**

**BPoV**

"Jacob Black, what the hell is going on?" I demanded. I didn't even wait for him to say hello. As soon as he picked up, I laid into him. "Why the hell would you send Edward after me?"

I debated the wisdom of just hanging up and running hell for leather until I was as far from him as I could get.

But he'd be able to track me from my scent.

Maybe I could hide at the bottom of the ocean? He couldn't smell me there, I didn't need to breathe, didn't need rest and I was fairly certain I could live off fish. There'd be no humans for me to worry about.

Plus, if he got the meddlesome pixie to look for me, there would be no way to pinpoint where I was.

"Calm down, Bells," Jake said with absolutely no authority in his voice. I could almost picture him cowering and I smiled a little vindictively. I guess I was a bit intimidating when I got mad.

"Explain," I ordered through gritted teeth.

"I didn't want you traveling alone. In fact, I should have gone with you. At least part way. I'm sorry. But then you're already pissed at the asshole so I thought, 'who cares?' right? Plus, you need your passport. It's a win-win scenario. Well, maybe not a win-win. But it worked out…"

I closed my eyes and scowled as I listened to his lame excuse.

I put the heel of my hand to my forehead like I would have done had I had a headache when I was human.

"Bella? Are you still there?" Jake asked.

"Yes," I answered tersely.

"So, um, just get the passport from him and then send him on his way," Jake suggested. "But, Bella…" he waited for me to acknowledge him.

"Yes?" I said again just as frostily.

"He's not that big of an asshole. Okay?" Jacob told me reluctantly. "Bella?"

"Jacob Black, you are so lucky you're my only friend and that I'm never going to see you face to face ever again," I seethed.

"C'mon, Bells. Don't be like that. And by the way, I'm not your only friend. These other bloodsuckers, they seem to care about you a whole lot too," he offered.

I could feel my wall of anger crumbling just a little from what Jake was saying. I couldn't afford to let it fall completely though or even any more than it already had. I was too scared of what little of me would be left.

I needed my anger. Without it I would be a being of pain and anguish.

And then I'd really be living in a hell on Earth.

"Don't, Jacob," I told him quietly. "Just…don't."

I couldn't listen to whatever he was telling me. I wanted to focus on the task at hand. My plan was to get to Phoenix or even Tucson by the time dawn broke.

I wasn't able to utter another syllable to yell at Jacob at that point. I was too distressed at the prospect of seeing Edward again. And it'd be sooner rather than later. If I still had a blood pressure, it would have been sky high.

I smelled him before I actually heard him. I felt his presence, his eyes boring into the back of my head. I didn't even want to turn around to face him. I was frozen.

"He's here," was all I said into the phone before hanging up.

"Bella." My name sounded smooth as silk falling from his lips, and yet it made me wince as if in pain. Well, I guess I was.

Hell is empty and all the devils are here! I quoted bitterly to myself.

"Edward," I quietly acknowledged. My back was still turned to him though. My tone wasn't angry or surprised or hurt. It was even keeled, professional.

Emotionless.

"Bella, I…"

"Jake said you'd be bringing me my passport," I said interrupting him. I wanted nothing but that from him.

Yeah, keep telling yourself that.

"Yes, I have it right here." Edward might have been holding it up to show me, but I was still frozen in place, unable to face him yet. His voice seemed to be pleading with me to turn and look at him. I didn't know if I could.

I thought fleetingly about telling him to just place it on the rock. Would that have been a big enough hint for him to leave me alone? Selfishly, I wanted to look at Edward one more time though. To absolutely sear him into my now perfect memory. I would carry his image with me through the rest of eternity. One last parting gift for the damned and unwanted.

I slowly turned around, but my eyes were fixed to the ground. I spotted Edward's shoes and then slowly moved my gaze up. He was far more beautiful than I remembered. The fault was entirely that of my pitiful human senses, my weak memory.

I'd always thought he was my Adonis come to life. His pale skin was smooth and perfect as if he were carved out of the finest white marble. His lips were wonderfully full and invitingly pink. His messy bronze hair was in impeccable disarray, extending a sinful invitation and I had to fight the urge to run my fingers through it. I only stopped myself by recalling that it might well have been his distractions that had been the source of its current dishabille.

Finally, my scarlet eyes found Edward's. They were the most delicious shade of butterscotch. He must have fed recently. They were more beautiful than I ever recalled when I was human.

He was searching my eyes for…something. I didn't know what.

"Bella," he breathed as if in awe, shock, or disgust--I couldn't tell--and I quickly averted my stare, ashamed of the hellish shade of my irises.

I reached out my hand for the passport, which Edward handed to me carefully without making any contact.

"Thank you," I said as I bent down to put it away inside my backpack. I tucked it inside my journal next to the photographs and CD, and busied my hands by rearranging items in the bag. I didn't want to stand back up to look at him yet. I had my snapshot of him already. I'd already filed it away in my brain for safekeeping. "Was there anything else?" I asked still in that empty tone and still looking down, "Because I need to get going."

"Bella," he said again, this time making a move and kneeling down in front of where I was crouched over my backpack so I had to look at him. I forced myself to meet his gaze levelly.

He looked so pained. It hurt to see him like that. Edward should never look so morose. It was a crime. I couldn't look away though I tried to remain as expressionless and unaffected as I could. I didn't want my own hurt or pain to show. I didn't want to invite any questions or detain him any longer. I wanted to run, to keep heading south, and clear my head. And he, of course, had his distractions to get back to.

"Where are you headed tonight?" I couldn't make out his tone. There was some unfathomable emotion behind it though it was matter of fact on the surface. I looked at the river. It seemed glassy smooth on top and I recalled the old saying: still waters run deep.

I stared at him, quiet at first, trying to figure out why he'd care and contemplated whether or not to tell him the truth. "Um, Phoenix or maybe Tucson, but I'd have to leave now."

"Do you mind if I join you?" He was asking in the same strange tone.

I was so completely shocked by his question I couldn't even hide the surprise in my expression and tone. "Why?" I asked him.

It came out calmly but what I wanted to do was scream and cry and beg him to tell me why, why, why! Why did he go? Why was he here?

Why wasn't I good enough?

"Because I'd really like to," he answered simply. His eyes were pleading with mine to assent. I couldn't concentrate so I stood back up and began walking as I checked my GPS. Edward followed me, his steps quiet but not as silent as they'd seemed when I was human.

"But why?" I was confused. I didn't know if what I had was a headache –if vampires could even get headaches- or if it was just the pain of my heart spreading like a cancer. Virulent, deadly.

"I also want to make sure you're okay. I promised Jacob." Ah, so it was out of a sense of obligation or something. Of course. Edward had always had an overdeveloped sense of chivalry.

"I'm okay. You don't need to come with me," I said as I looked in the direction of my destination. I made to move but he stopped me with a hand on my shoulder.

"I know I don't need to, Bella, but I want to."

I froze, thinking over what he said. He wanted to come along. With me.

I gave him a dubious look but consented anyway. "It's a free country," I shrugged as I began walking again in the direction I wanted to go. To be honest it was also an attempt to put some distance between Edward and myself. I couldn't have him touching me and looking at me the way he was. It was unnerving, though truth be told, I took the opportunity to memorize the feel of Edward's hand on my shoulder. It wasn't the cold, firm touch I had felt from him so often before when I was human. It felt softer though I doubted Edward tried to make it so. Being as strong as he was, and knowing how strong I was now, he probably wasn't holding back any pressure.

"Ready?" I asked him as I got set to run again. Before Edward could even answer, I took off like a bat out of hell, smiling smugly to myself. If he really wanted to join me, he'd have to try to keep up with me first.

It was exhilarating, running full speed, easily dodging tree branches, rocks, over turned trees with serpentine roots, which were all but invisible to me now. Human Bella would have broken her neck, unable to see obstructions ahead of her till it was too late and she tripped over something as innocuous as a pebble. Now, I was able to see things at the last millisecond since I was approaching them so quickly, but was fast and nimble enough to quickly evade them.

Speaking of evasion, I thought I had lost Edward, for a little while anyway. I wasn't surprised. I didn't really give him fair warning before I took off. Then again, did he offer me that luxury when he left before?

No.

He sprung it on me didn't he? I knew he'd catch up eventually since he was so fast. Plus, he could follow my scent. I could find him too if I were so inclined. His scent of honey, lilac, and sunshine was burned into my memory.

I didn't think I'd be that way inclined though.

As I ran, I tried to figure out why on earth Edward was coming with me. He had brought me my passport. His mission was finished. He could go back about his business now.

But he had said that he wanted to come with me.

I just couldn't understand it though! Perhaps he felt a tremendous amount of guilt for leaving. Then why wouldn't he have come back sooner? He didn't want to turn me, didn't want to see me like him. The thought had seemed repugnant to him, me as a vampire.

So why would he care now?

Maybe it was just pity. That had to be it. He wasn't coming along because he wanted to make sure I was okay. Well, that wasn't the sole reason why. No, I was a charity case.

I ran even faster in an attempt to perhaps leave that aggravating thought behind me, but I kept turning it over and over and over in my mind. Charity case. The thought angered me so much; it finally made me stop in my tracks.

**EPoV**

Bella took off like a shot. I didn't know if she was purposefully leaving me in the dust or if she just didn't know how quick she really was. Either way, I had to smile a bit; I was pretty proud of her.

I was in mid-answer when she ran off. I was shocked at first, therefore allowing her a good three seconds head start, but with her speed, three seconds was a tremendous advantage. I'd also had to slow down once when Alice called me to ask how things were going. I told her Bella didn't demand that I leave but did take off running, leaving me behind. She giggled. I was only confirming what she foresaw. I was annoyed that Alice found it so amusing.

"Was there a reason for this call, Alice?" I asked in aggravation. "You're putting me further behind Bella you know?"

"Yes, actually," she said smugly. "I thought better of Bella using her passport. She's not going to want to use her own legal documents seeing as she's considered dead so…"

"So we need to get her new identification," I finished, grinning.

"I already did, brother mine," she proclaimed grandly. I rolled my eyes at myself. Psychic. "I've reserved hotel accommodations for you in Phoenix. You won't be checking in until tomorrow night since neither of you can be in the sunlight without rousing attention. J. Jenks will get the documents done by tomorrow and then I'll overnight them to you. Jazz really does motivate J to work faster somehow." I snorted in laughter. Poor Jenks, our go-to guy for important documents needed in a pinch. He was a heart attack waiting to happen dealing with the likes of us. I supposed the monetary gain was worth the strain on his nerves and heart to meet our deadlines. "Anyway, the hotel should have the overnighted package for you the day after next. It will contain Bella's new ID that you can use on the international flight to Ecuador. I was going to go ahead and get tickets for that, but you'll have to take care of it since it hinges on when Bella will feel ready to be among humans. I'm thinking it'll take a couple days at least. Any questions?"

Where did I begin?

"Is Bella going to be okay around people, Alice?" She was a newborn after all, and, therefore, she was much stronger than I was. I didn't know if I'd be able to restrain her.

"She's nervous about it, but it's up to you to build up her confidence. She has very good control, Edward. Freakishly good control, actually." There was a great deal of admiration in her tone, making me wonder what exactly she'd seen. "She won't harm humans. She's already made her mind up about that. But she's scared, and you have to help her. She needs you. She may not realize it, but she does."

She needs me.

"She's not really speaking to me, Alice," I admitted reluctantly. "How do I convince her to trust herself around humans, to trust me, and also get her to stay at the hotel with me and get on a plane? She's not human anymore. I can't dazzle her like I used to." Not that that had always worked well anyway.

"That's up to you, Edward," Alice told me firmly. "You can arrive at Phoenix by dawn but you can't check in till nightfall. You have all day to reach out to her." Damn Alice. She sounded so sure. I wished I had her confidence. I was pretty confident upon leaving Forks, but the looks and the tone Bella gave me all but disintegrated that confidence. She hadn't sounded angry. She'd looked at me like she'd look at an uninteresting stranger. Indifferent. I couldn't win her back if she had no feelings for me. "Undo the damage you did. At least start to."

I had stopped running at this point. "Alice," I asked her gravely. "Will she believe me?"

Will she ever forgive me?

"Not at first, but you have to be persistent yet patient. She's hurt, Edward."

I hated the thought of Bella hurt. But to see it, hear it, and know it for a fact was crushing me.

Monster. Not only did I lie to her and break her heart, I did it needlessly. I should never have left her alone.

I should never have gone near her in the first place.

"I know," I managed to utter as I pinched the bridge of my nose. "I know."

I hung up with Alice and continued following Bella's delicious scent. I had spent so much time talking to Alice that I was sure to really be far behind Bella now. I picked up my speed and continued running until I couldn't smell her anymore. She wasn't ahead of me. Where could she have gone? Confused, I doubled back to find that I had whipped right by Bella. She had stopped, I guess. When I eventually found her, she was sitting by a tree with her knees pulled up to her chest; her forearms rested on her knees. She looked deep in thought and also as if she had been waiting for me.

She didn't look up as I approached her, though she knew it was me.

"Bella, why'd you stop? Are you okay?" I gave her a once over to see if she had somehow hurt herself, which was pretty much next to impossible now, but with Bella, one never knew.

"Save your pity," she stated flatly still without making eye contact with me. She didn't even want to look at me now.

"What?" I was completely confused.

She shook her head as she repeated herself angrily. "I said save your pity." She spat the word furiously. "I don't need it, and I don't want it."

She finally looked up at me with her jaw set and her facial expression hard. "That's why you're here, right?"

So she thought the only reason I'd be here with her was because I pitied her?

I felt my anger rising like molten lava. I was furious at myself for turning my sweet trusting Bella into this angry suspicious girl who couldn't believe in my love. I didn't pity her. Well, a part of me did. How could I not when she had just lost her entire family? But that wasn't the only reason I was here.

I carefully concealed my burgeoning rage, not wanting to scare her. "Bella, I'm here because I want to be. I want to help you."

"Help me what?" she asked bitterly, averting her eyes from mine again. I wondered why she kept doing that. She refused to hold my gaze for longer than a few seconds at a time it seemed.

Was I truly that repulsive to her?

"In any way I can," I answered truthfully. Even if she hated me for the rest of my days my only wish would be to help her, to love her.

Everlasting hatred looked likely though considering how angry and hostile she looked. Couple that with the fact that I still couldn't read her thoughts and I felt just as frustrated and befuddled by her as the first day she came to Forks. Despite my not being able to hear her, I watched her intently trying futilely to catch something anyway.

Bella was staring at the ground. She had a few medium sized stones in a pile next to her with another pile of dust next to them. Bella was grinding the stones into dust and had been for a while now, it seemed, while she was waiting for me to catch up. She must have been pretty angry or frustrated. I watched for an immeasurable moment while she easily obliterated three more rocks into powder.

"What does Alice have up her sleeve?" Bella asked accusingly, finally staring intently at me. Despite the hard lines of her face from her now cold expression and the barely crimson rings outside her pupils, Bella was still breathtaking. "You must have been speaking with her, which was what took you so long to catch up, right?"

I nodded. "Alice got all new IDs made for you. She figured you'd be apprehensive about using your own since you're technically…dead," I explained. Bella nodded, indicating that she might have thought about that as well.

"Is she meeting me in Phoenix?" I didn't miss that she left me out of the Phoenix equation. This was going to be tricky.

"No. She's overnighting a package to…" Bella gave me a bewildered expression now. I didn't blame her. "…a hotel…"

"WHAT?" she asked incredulously. "I can't…" she began to rebut. "How am I supposed to…?" Bella's eyes narrowed at me as the realization hit her. "Oh. I suppose that's where you come in?"

I nodded.

"So you'll check in to the hotel and get my IDs?" she asked hopefully.

"That's…an option," I said. "But what Alice had in mind was that I help you get used to being around humans since you'll have to cross the border somehow, and the easiest way will be by plane," I explained, bracing myself for her reaction.

The thought must have scared Bella so much she forgot all about being cross with me. She just kept shaking her head with a panicked look in her eyes.

"Out of the question," she whispered. "I…can't…I don't want to hurt anyone, Edward."

I didn't miss the fact that she'd just said my name for the first time since acknowledging my presence when I'd arrived with her passport.

I crouched down beside her, not touching her, though I wanted to soothe her anxiety. "Bella, Alice saw it. She says your mind's already made up. You won't hurt anyone. You'll be fine."

"Yes, but, deciding not to hurt anyone is easy in theory when I've been keeping my distance, but then actually being controlled enough not to in their presence is another matter entirely." She spoke rationally, explaining her thought processes to me like she used to.

The familiarity made my heart ache in longing.

"Bella, I'll be there with you. I won't let you hurt anyone. I promise," I told her, though, I wasn't entirely sure I'd be able to restrain her if I had to.

Bella closed her eyes and blew out an unnecessary breath, thinking over what I had just said. She looked like she was having an internal debate. I'd had similar debates with myself over the time that I've known Alice. Listen to her or bet against her? Bella was familiar with the dilemma and already aware of the conclusion we'd all come to one way or another.

"Damn her," Bella mumbled. Yep, Bella knew better than to bet against Alice. She sighed again, this time looking directly at me. "I just hunted two days ago," she told me. "I'm not really thirsty, but I suppose I should hunt again just in case?"

"That's not a bad idea," I agreed. I tried not to show any excitement, but I really wanted to watch Bella hunt. Not to mention the fact that she was complying with Alice's plan. It meant I'd get to stay with my Bella.

"You don't need to hunt though," she said to me matter-of-factly. She was judging by the color of my eyes. It was true. I didn't, but I'd go with her anyway. I wanted to go with her. "Shall I just meet you back here when I'm done then?"

My face fell a little. She clearly didn't want me with her while she hunted. "I could drink again," I replied. "It never hurts to be prepared." I looked at her hopefully.

Bella bit her bottom lip, obviously not pleased with my response but nodded in agreement nonetheless.

She opened her mouth to say something but closed it without saying anything at all.

"What is it?" I asked curiously.

"Nothing, it's just that…Well, I don't know if I hunt right, and I'm…self-conscious about it I guess," she shrugged. I bet if she were able to blush, she would have.

I wanted to hug her so much that it almost overwhelmed me.

"Bella, you've been a newborn on your own for over two weeks now. You've hunted to satiate your thirst without killing any humans. No worries. You have to be doing something right," I assured her. "Carlisle and Esme would be so proud." Her expression lifted considerably at the mention of my parents. "Jasper and Emmett would be jealous. I promise you," I smiled as I continued. "And I'm really proud of you too by the way," I added in all honesty.

And finally, finally, she graced me with an ever so slight smile. I wasn't sure if it was due to my mentioning the family or me being proud of her. Did she still hold me in good esteem? I really didn't want to dissect it at the moment. Bella actually smiled, and it warmed me considerably.

"Thanks," she said.

I nodded and shrugged, "Well, it's true."

We had made it to some forests in Northern Arizona. It was a wilderness, a countryside that was made up of rugged mountains, severe ridges and steep canyons, untamed and isolated but accessible through a broad system of trails, if any person were so inclined. There weren't any humans around now though.

Bella took off again to hunt, but this time, I was ready and running along side her. I thought I saw her throw an annoyed look my way, but otherwise she didn't say a word. I grinned to myself, suddenly feeling more lighthearted than I had in months.

Watching Bella hunt was amazing and, unsurprisingly, sensual. She went about her business unconcerned by my presence. I watched as she caught the scent of a couple different animals, elk and deer, and we followed the scent. Upon nearing a couple of elk, the wind shifted slightly wafting the smell of a mountain lion our way. Bella had been ready to pounce on the elk, but the lion, she knew, would satiate her thirst far better than the elk would. She glanced at me again silently asking me if I wanted the lion. She must have remembered it was my favorite.

As pissed as she was at me, I couldn't believe Bella was considerate enough to offer the lion to me. I declined, shaking my head, as I stood by and watched.

Bella, running, looked graceful, beautiful. Bella, hunting, looked deadly and effective. I didn't know what she was embarrassed about before. She crouched and sprang like a decades-old vampire. The lion didn't know what hit him. Bella did pause for a fraction of a second after catching it but before snapping its neck, and I heard her tell the poor animal she was sorry, just as Jacob had said. She made quick work of draining the lion, only dripping a bit on her jeans but otherwise keeping pretty clean.

Watching her in her element, taking down a lion and then sucking it dry…

It was hot.

I was grateful that I had enough restraint to not pounce on her when she was done with the animal.

I helped Bella dispose of the carcass, burying it without saying a word until we were through.

"Thanks," she told me.

"You're welcome," I replied with a nod. "Nice work. You looked good out there." And that would have to be the biggest understatement of the century of my existence.

"Thanks," Bella whispered again with that same slight smile. It was my new favorite thing. I felt like I made a breakthrough causing her to smile like that. As small as it was, it was infinitely better than her near constant scowl when she looked at me before. But I wouldn't mind seeing her scowl all the time if that meant I got to be around her.

I wanted to tell her how beautiful she was, to hold her close to me, to feel her lips against mine once again, and it was difficult knowing I couldn't do those things, but I had to give Bella this space or risk, well, everything. This was the closest I'd been to her in months.

"Your turn?" she asked. I had almost forgotten that I was going to hunt as well.

I nodded trying to catch the scent of another lion if it were possible, but no, all I could smell was that elk that had taken off once Bella found her mountain lion. Elk wasn't the most appealing animal, but it was better than nothing. Plus, I didn't mind giving the lion up for Bella. I couldn't begrudge her anything.

I, too, made quick work of the elk, and Bella helped me dispose of my carcass without a word until we had it buried.

"Thanks," I said.

"Just returning the favor," she shrugged. "You're much neater than I am," she commented.

I smiled. "Decades of practice, love," I said before I could even stop myself. It felt so natural to call Bella that; the word fell so easily from my lips too. She was my love. It was her rightful name…but did she want it to be?

We both froze. Bella, shocked, I assumed, from my choice in words, and I was paralyzed by the slip of my tongue, silently berating myself, afraid of her reaction. I didn't know whether to apologize or pretend like it was nothing. I actually held my breath awaiting her response.

It would kill me to pretend it was nothing.

"So we're outside of Flagstaff. There really isn't a place close to Phoenix to hide out inconspicuously until nightfall except for the Apache Creek Wilderness so I figure if we get there by dawn and stay until dark then it'll only take a few minutes or so to reach our destination. Unless, we luck out and there's cloud cover, but that's highly unlikely," she mused.

I guess she chose to ignore my love comment. I knew for certain that she'd heard it.

"Whatever you want to do," I replied casually. I was, indeed, disheartened that she didn't acknowledge my pet name for her, but at the same time, I was hiding the fact that I was doing cartwheels in my head at the prospect of spending the entire day hiding out with Bella.

**A/N Definitely more Edward and Bella to come (get your mind out of the gutter, lovee). So don't forget to review. I'd really appreciate it. If you want to make me sad, then by all means, don't review. How's that for guilt? You should see my mom...I learn from the best! Thanks to Phantom for shining up my writing for me.**

**Here's the 411 on _Clear Sight_ that my girl Phantom has an entry in:**

**ONCE UPON A TWILIGHT CONTEST**

**Title: Clear Sight**  
**Author: Phantom-Writer3739**  
**Rating: M**  
**POV: BPOV**  
**Word Count: 4,718**  
**Summary: Bella Swan stumbles upon a mysterious man who is as still as a statue but with a beating heart. She releases him from his paralysis and he helps her out... by kidnapping her. Not that she minds too much.**

_**This story is being submitted as an entry for the Once Upon a Twilight Contest, hosted by wishimight and staceygirl aka jackbauer. please visit the contest community at:**_  
_**http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/community/Once_Upon_A_Twilight/**_  
_**Entries accepted until 8/20/09**_

_**Voting begins 8/22/09--Show her some love!**_


	8. Open Mind

**A/N Stephenie Meyer already wrote New Moon. I'm just messing with her version. Don't mind me.**

**So, I was thinking, why put parameters on myself? When have I ever played by hard and fast rules of posting. I'm a loose cannon, right? So, even though I'm putting myself behind the figurative eight ball, I decided to update today just to cheer my lovee up. This one's for you, pooj. Hope you're having a better day!**

**Once again, big thanks to Phantom for doing what she does. She leaves my chapters "so fresh and so clean," just call me Outkast. A'ight, kids, here's the next chapter so GREAR.**

**Chapter 8: Open Mind**

**BPoV**

Damn Alice! Damn her! I was more than a little annoyed, but I hoped against hope she was right about my being able to control myself around humans. I was pretty put out by her plan. And I didn't know how big a role Edward played in this "Let's test Bella's bloodlust and control" proposal, but I was still quite wary of Edward even after he denied being here because he pitied me.

And then he called me love. I was stunned when I heard him say it, desperately thinking of how to react. I wasn't sure if he had accidentally slipped or if he was purposefully trying to torture me. Edward used to call me love all the time. He used to tell me he loved me as well, and look how that ended up. He left. If he had really loved me…

No. I had to stop thinking along those lines. It didn't matter anymore. I needed to reach my destination: Rio and then Isle Esme. There really wasn't a point in going there except to prove to myself that I could do it. Well, I really wanted to see Edward's family too, but I didn't even know how long I'd visit them. I wasn't sure how long they'd have me. Or if they'd even want me there. At least Alice wanted to see me. That thought kept me going.

I wouldn't worry about my other concerns just yet. I needed to get through this a day at a time. Hell, I had to get through this day and afternoon with Edward first. I had forgotten all about being mad at him when he told me about Alice's plan.

As reluctant as I was to use my own passport and IDs, I was frightened out of my mind about being around people in order to test my control and collect my new documents. I wished Edward would have just agreed to check into the hotel and get my papers like I had hoped. A part of me really wanted him to do that, but another part of me, my stubbornness and pride I guess, wanted to overcome my fear. I was so tired of being weak and dependent. I had no idea how bad the bloodlust was going to be, but I prayed I could get through it without Edward's help.

I really didn't want to have to depend on him, not when he had ripped my heart out like he had.

I did feel slightly guilty for accusing him of just being here because he pitied me. When I'd said it, Edward looked as if I'd slapped him, and I hated that I was so cynical anymore.

But really, what other option was there? Clarification, what other option was there that I would allow myself to consider? I mean, if I let myself entertain the idea that Edward was joining me because he actually…cared, then I would have had to rethink just about everything else in my life from his leaving me on, and I wasn't ready to do that.

I had chosen to ignore what I heard, just as a judge may instruct the jury to strike or forget about whatever leading or incriminating remark the prosecuting attorney may have purposefully blurted out. But I had always been leery of whether or not a jury could do that. How do you un-hear what you so clearly just heard? How do you convince your brain that it didn't really happen? It was impossible, but I had to try.

So I casually came up with my own plan of when to leave for Phoenix, but it meant I'd have to be around Edward all day since it seemed he was distracted from his distractions. At least for the moment. I was the shiny new object again.

It didn't take long to reach the Apache Creek Wilderness, only an hour or so from where we were. It would only take another half an hour running to get to Phoenix since we were about a hundred miles northwest of there. We literally had all day to kill so I just began walking around, not wanting to just sit silently with my uninvited companion and even more reluctant to be forced to converse with him.

Edward, of course, couldn't take the hint and followed right along side me, content with the silence, though it wasn't all that quiet as, due to sheer curiosity, I'd given in a bit and occasionally asked him questions. The questions mostly centered around vampirism. I had wondered about so much, and I'd attempted to recall what little I'd been told through the haze of my dull and fuzzy human memories, but I figured, rather than torturing myself, Edward could shed some light on the subject for me, you know, since he was here and all.

I once asked him tentatively if my eyes were any less scarlet. I wanted to know, even if it meant having to look at his heartbreakingly perfect face and eyes to get my answer.

"There are still slightly crimson rings around your irises," Edward answered. He was looking intently into my eyes again, studying them, and I looked away with a sigh. The sigh was partly out of frustration that my eyes still hadn't turned the honey-brown color that I yearned for and also out of embarrassment over the red color.

"Jacob said you were concerned about your eye color," Edward commented.

My expression grew dark immediately. Great, what else did my dear friend give away about me? Did I even want to know? I was sure Edward read Jacob like a book. Crap! How much did Edward know?

I quickly recalled all the things I'd told Jacob, things I never wanted Edward to hear. Things I never even considered that he'd ever hear. He was supposed to be gone forever, right? I suppressed a wince as they flashed through my mind.

"I don't like the crimson color," I confessed, covering up the upset from possibly having my thoughts revealed via Jake. "It makes me look like I'm…" a murderer "not a vegetarian."

"I wouldn't worry about it. They won't be crimson for much longer, it looks like," Edward replied, looking at my eyes critically. "I'd give it a couple more days. The red is fading."

I sighed in relief at that thought. Only a couple more days of these murderous irises. I hoped Edward was right. When I eventually had to board a plane and actually be among humans, I would look less like a monster. It wasn't the color that made the monster but still…it would make me feel better. Maybe it was stupid but it was also true.

"You've taken to the all-animal diet quite well. No slip ups. It's amazing, Bella," he complimented me.

"Thanks," I said quietly, not entirely sure how I felt about his admiration "but it's probably due to your family's influence. Plus…" I stopped as I thought about Victoria's intention to feast off of my parents. I shuddered and my stomach turned. I could never do that to anyone's parents or children or friends.

"Plus what?" Edward asked curiously.

I didn't want to talk about Victoria or my parents. The memories were still too fresh and painful.

"Plus…the thought of drinking human blood disgusts me," I told him. "That helps tremendously, though I haven't smelled any humans yet. I've held my breath when I've run near highways and towns. It's pretty uncomfortable, but it's better than risking the alternative." I'd hate for things to end badly. I didn't think I'd be able to live with myself.

I turned away and walked quickly. Edward allowed me to take the lead even though I had no idea where I was heading. Luckily there weren't any real trails in this forest so the chances of running into a human here were slim to none though hiking and camping were, for some reason, still unrestricted. It was remote, and relatively rugged terrain covered with rolling hills of juniper and pinion pine intermingled with outcroppings of boulders, granite I think, and ponderosa pine. This area was also home to mountain lions, which was convenient if and when we needed to hunt again. Only hardcore campers would want to rough it out here.

There was some rare cloud cover above, not as much as I hoped for, but still more than usual. The clouds moved as we were walking and I watched my skin sparkle when the sunlight hit us. I stopped where I was and stared in wonder at the backs of my hands, holding them at different angles against the light. I couldn't help but smile at the diamond-like effect the sunlight had on me. I glanced at Edward, who had stopped as well. His face and hands were sparkling, but he stood quietly watching me, looking beautiful and with a small smile playing at his lips.

I caught myself and quit smiling at once, knowing he was watching me. I would have blushed if I could have. I was embarrassed of the awe I felt over the sparkling. I should have been used to it, but I wasn't.

I tried to cover my embarrassment with a gauche shrug. "Sorry, I guess it hasn't gotten old for me yet," I said, trying to explain my stupid reaction. I started walking again just so I didn't have to look at Edward as I spoke.

"No need to apologize, Bella. It's fascinating for me seeing your reaction to…this," he said. He sounded almost as awkward as I felt.

I snorted a little. This. Like this -this being vampirism- was some ordinary thing. Maybe to him it was. After all, he'd been living this way for over a century, but to me it was still all so very new.

"What?" Edward asked with a little humor, probably because I snorted. How ladylike.

I just shook my head, my mood suddenly soured. "Nothing." I had just remembered how he'd watch me sleep. I was, allegedly, fascinating to him then too, I thought bitterly.

Then I heard him let out a small frustrated sigh, at least he sounded frustrated. Had I been human still I wouldn't have heard it at all. I wondered how often I'd missed these subtle signs of his discontent during my time with him.

"What?" I asked as I threw a half-annoyed, half-curious look at him.

"Nothing," he answered shaking his head, throwing my own response in my face.

Perhaps I was getting a little paranoid, well, a little more paranoid than I already was I suppose, but I perceived it as his mocking me. I merely looked away, sneering just a bit.

"Bella, I wasn't making fun of you," he stated. Had he read my mind? There was no way.

"Did you just…?" I stuttered.

Edward only gave me a bewildered expression.

"What am I thinking right now?" I asked.

Edward's expression remained baffled. I guess he couldn't read my thoughts after all. I sighed in relief. Paranoia. It must be an exaggerated trait from my human days. I wondered fleetingly if that was the gift Alice had been referring to. Not much of a gift. It'd figure that it'd be my gift then. Real impressive, Bella.

"It's just…" I decided to not say anything about how he may have read my thoughts. "I didn't say anything," I explained as I continued walking at a brisker pace.

"Yeah, I know," Edward responded pointedly, sarcasm dripping from his tone. I could practically hear his eyes rolling.

I stopped walking again and just looked at him through narrowed eyes. He was annoyed with me. He had no right to be annoyed with me. "What's that supposed to mean?" I asked accusingly.

Edward looked panicked for just a fraction of a second before he recovered. "Just that…you haven't said much is all."

Newborns were stronger than ordinary vampires according to Edward. And the only way to kill vampires was to rip them to pieces and set them on fire. So if I only ripped him to pieces it wasn't like I was killing him right?

"I wasn't aware that I was supposed to be entertaining you," I said icily as I looked straight ahead. I knew I was being rather rude, but it was easier than going to pieces in front of Edward, which was what I really wanted to do had he not been there with me. Or actually murdering him, which seemed to be a very attractive option except for the fact that something deep inside me knew that if I actually killed him I would hurt far worse than I hurt now.

He may have wanted to rebut, but Edward wisely shut up after that comment.

I was annoyed with walking around aimlessly so I finally sat down when I found a great big boulder to lean up against. There was another boulder nearby and Edward sat against that one pretty much facing me. I tried to ignore him the best I could. I took my phone out and started to text Jake to let him know that I, no, we, were a hundred miles north of Phoenix and filled him in on the rest of Alice's brainchild. I didn't want to call and talk out loud for obvious reasons. He was back at my house packing things but took a break to keep me occupied for a few minutes.

**Jake: hunt anything good?**

**Me: mmm mountain lion**

**Jake: nasty. So no more thumpers?**

**Me: shut up, dog**

**Jake: lol. have you shredded the a-hole yet?**

I had to hand it to Jake. He knew how to make me smile.

**Me: not yet.**

**Jake: don't be so hard on him, k?**

He also knew how to make me frown.

**Me: you're on HIS side now?**

**Jake: no! never!**

**Me: good**

**Jake: he's not so bad that's all**

I growled. I actually growled at my phone, well it was at Jake, but he obviously couldn't hear me. Edward was looking at me strangely when I chanced a peek at him.

**Me: gol!**

**Jake: what's that?**

**Me: growled out loud**

**Jake: funny. seriously though, he's got good intentions**

**Me: what do you know about it?**

**Jake: he loves you, bells. He told me and I think he meant it.**

I stared at my phone in shock. I didn't know how to respond to Jake except for…

**Me: bye, jake. I'll talk to you later.**

I had to hang up. My mind was a chaotic tumult of thoughts, and I didn't want to deal with whatever insane notion Jacob was having. The idea that Edward still…

I couldn't finish the thought. The idea of it flew in the face of all that I believed at this moment in my life. I wanted to be wrong, I wanted to believe Jake, but I was way too frightened to do so. I had already believed it at one time, but I was sorely mistaken.

Edward might have only believed he loved me again. But he'd thought that before hadn't he?

Shiny toy, shiny toy. That's the only reason he's interested in you again. Don't forget that. Don't let him in again!

Jacob texted me a couple more messages, but I refused to look at my phone anymore. I threw it in the front pocket of my backpack and took my journal out, ignoring the muffled beeping sounds indicating the incoming messages.

I began writing furiously in my journal, getting dangerously close to my breaking point.

**EPoV**

I watched Bella as she was texting back and forth with who I could only assume was Jacob. He must have written something amusing because Bella smiled brightly, and I felt a pang of jealously. I wanted to be the one to make her smile like that. It didn't matter that he was only her friend; I wasn't even that anymore.

I realized suddenly that it wasn't just Bella, the love of my life, that I missed. It was my best friend, Bella, who I'd left behind too. The Bella who I would talk to for hours. The Bella who would make me laugh, who would tease me and understand me and always be there for me.

I didn't have long to think on my sudden epoch because Jacob must have written something else that made her mad. Bella was suddenly in a sour mood again, throwing her phone into her backpack and ignoring the new messages as they beeped in while she was writing furiously in her journal. It seemed I wasn't the only person stirring Bella's ire.

It was like gaining one step forward and then taking two steps back with Bella. While she was never overjoyed about my presence with her, she would go from lukewarm at best to downright hostile. I could only imagine that this was how she felt about me when we first met in Forks. The mixed signals I'd given her back then.

"Are you all right, Bella?" I ventured to ask.

"Mhm," she answered tersely without looking up at me. She kept her eyes trained on her book, but she was pressing so hard with her pen that it was nearly tearing through the page.

"It's just that you seem kind of…" I searched for a word that wouldn't make her angrier. "…stressed?"

Bella didn't answer right away but she did stop writing for a moment.

"Of course I'm stressed," she said still without looking at me. I got the feeling that she wanted to add idiot to the end of that sentence. I waited anxiously for her to keep talking. I knew whatever was on her mind, she needed to get it out regardless if were to hurt me. I hated that she suffered in silence. After a moment, she hadn't elaborated so I thought she was just going to leave it at that, but I was completely mistaken. Again.

Bella spoke very quickly. I didn't have a hard time understanding it all, but had I been human, there was no way I would have caught everything.

"I don't want to sound like a crybaby or anything, but things for me right now aren't too great. My parents are all dead, I just had to leave the only friend I have left, I'm trying to figure out all this vampirism, I'm supposed to somehow not massacre all of Phoenix while collecting phony documents that I'm supposed to use to fly on an international flight also without feasting on the occupants of said flight, all because the same sadistic vampire that killed my parents decided in a last moment of vengeance to change me so I couldn't just die and be with my parents but now I have to live this cold, empty existence for all of eternity alone, _and_ I'm trying to figure _you_ out on top of all of that." Bella finally looked up at me. "So, yes, I think that it is entirely possible that I'm stressed."

Wait. Victoria killed her parents? I thought those were merely accidents, well, at least the gas leak.

Then the realization set in.

I'd left.

I'd left Bella to face Victoria alone. I didn't believe her to be that big a threat, despite the fact that I'd gone after her, but that was more or less for something to do. That was a disaster anyway. I was on the wrong continent completely. All the time I'd tried to find Victoria in South America she was in Florida and Washington, destroying Bella's life. I'd left Bella to that.

I truly was a monster.

And what was with the comment that the only friend she had left was Jacob? That wasn't true. She had me. She had my family as well. She thought she'd be living alone for all of eternity? Did I leave her so desolate that she believed she was truly alone? That we wouldn't want her with us, human or immortal?

Did she truly believe that Alice, if none of the rest of us, wouldn't stand her friend? That she'd allow her to go her separate way without any guidance whatsoever?

Had I really hurt her so badly that she'd lost all her faith in us?

I would have sunk into self-loathing had I discovered all this without Bella, but she was here and I had to be strong for her. All the despair she'd been bottling up for who knew how long had finally fought its way to the surface. I wanted to hold her tightly to me and tell her it'd all be all right, but she was still distrustful of me so I had to keep my distance.

That alone would have crushed me. I'd always been the person Bella could count on for comfort and support. And now I'd become the source of most her pain.

I wanted to apologize to her. Tell her how remorseful I felt for deserting her and, in essence, leaving her in the hands of Victoria, but all I could hear was her muttering _stupid_, I couldn't be sure if that was directed internally or at me, before taking off like a shot –again- with her backpack. She moved so fast, leaving me slightly slack jawed for a moment before I recovered and took off after her.

It was still daytime so I knew she couldn't have gone too far. At least she'd still be in the wilderness here, not venturing near humans yet.

I slowed down upon feeling my phone buzz. I reached for it and noticed a text message from Jacob. I actually stopped running altogether as I read his words.

**Jake: oops. she's pissed, huh?**

**Me: she's not happy. what did you tell her?**

**Jake: to take it easy on you**

That was rather generous of the mongrel, but would that be enough to set Bella off?

**Me: really? that's it?**

**Jacob: well…a bit more I guess. here…**

Jacob proceeded to forward to me the conversation the two just had. I rolled my eyes at the a-hole comment. The conversation ended with Bella telling Jacob she'd talk to him later. That was probably when she threw the phone into her backpack. She had been fuming. I didn't know whether to be grateful to Jacob or furious about his interference. For his part, Jacob texted me again.

**Jacob: she isn't responding to me. tell her i'm sorry. let me know she's ok.**

I quickly replied to him in the affirmative and set off again to find Bella.

Bella knew I loved her. Well, she was told that I loved her. And she was not pleased about it. Did she believe Jacob or didn't she? Why did she take off like that?

I ran for a few miles following Bella's scent and finally found her sitting between a couple of boulders, stuck between the proverbial rock and hard place, deep in thought and staring at the slowly sinking sun.

She didn't turn to acknowledge my approach, but I was certain she knew it was me.

"Bella…I…" I began but she cut me off.

"I'm trying to get mentally prepared for Phoenix," Bella said abruptly, sounding exasperated.

"Right," I responded. I decided not to push her any more just yet so I sat quietly next to her. She had quite a lot to deal with at the moment.

**BPoV**

I didn't want to deal with the aftermath of my outburst about why I may have been stressed. I slipped. I'd said too much and berated myself for it before ditching Edward once again. I knew I wouldn't, and couldn't, get away from him for long though. It wasn't like I was going to leave the wilderness.

I found a secluded spot to sit and think, and he caught up to me after a while and sat down next to me after I told him I was preparing myself to be among humans.

Edward seemed content with the silence, not questioning me about what I'd said earlier. Perhaps he was wising up and giving me some space. He could have been caught up in his own thoughts as well. If I knew him at all then he probably was. What he was thinking of was beyond me though.

I had to force myself to forget about what I had inadvertently spat out before. I had more pressing matters to attend to at the moment.

I concentrated on the scent of Charlie in my house the last time I was there. I tried to keep it in the forefront of my mind, Charlie's scent and nothing else. I wanted to be able to refer to it quickly when I was around humans so I could apply Charlie's scent to them, whoever they were, so that in my mind I would equate the humans with my dad and, thus, not want to hunt them, or more precisely, feast on them, since it'd be like taking candy from a baby rather than hunting. Hunting implied a chase of some sort. The humans would be easy pickings if I were so inclined.

I tried to let my mind settle down and let go of everything but a picture of Charlie and his smell wafting all around me. It made me really miss him and I lost concentration a few times at first so I had to breathe deeply in order to focus again.

I finally gave up on that approach and just decided to push all my thoughts out. That was harder but it was better than just trying to focus my thoughts on one thing. My vampire brain was just too powerful for normal meditation.

After a while, I was finally successful. My mind was empty of everything but for the memories I wanted. My senses were flooded with the memory and scent of my father. I didn't know how long I was able to hold the thought while keeping my brain in the state of ease, perhaps just a few seconds, when I heard Edward gasp, jolting me out of my meditation. My eyes popped open to look in his direction.

**EPoV**

Bella would take in long breaths and blow them out slowly while she had her eyes closed, appearing to be meditating. I sat there quietly enjoying the peace and quiet of not hearing a constant buzz of thoughts. Bella wasn't talking to me for her own reasons, nor I to her as I wanted to let her have her time to prepare.

I didn't know how long it had been since I'd experienced silence. Not for over a century. Yet here, in the wilderness with not a soul for miles and miles, and not ever being able to hear Bella's thoughts, I was at peace. I stared out at nothing and everything before us just listening to Bella's meditative breathing when I saw a vision of Charlie and smelled his scent. It was strange because I hadn't even been thinking about him. I looked over to Bella. Her eyes were closed but I could tell she was thinking of Charlie. I actually saw the picture of her father in her mind! I just heard, or rather saw, Bella's mind! I couldn't help but gasp.

Her mind was only open to me for a few seconds though because my gasp snapped Bella out of her trance-like state, and Charlie was gone and I couldn't hear or see Bella's mind anymore.

"What?" Bella asked me looking curious or was it concerned? It wasn't often that I gasped after all.

I didn't know whether to tell her what I saw or not. Would she believe me? Did I even see her thoughts? I wasn't sure if in my constant longing to hear her I hadn't just dreamt the episode up.

"What were you just doing?" I asked as calmly as I could.

She furrowed her brow, possibly contemplating whether to tell me or not, or possibly assessing if I was all right. I didn't even know if I was all right. I felt overwhelmed, that was for sure.

"Um, I was thinking of my dad and…how he smelled…" she shrugged.

I nodded at her but otherwise sat in stunned silence. How was I able to read Bella's thoughts?

"It seemed like you were meditating," I commented.

Bella twisted her lips to the side in thought. "I guess I was sort of. I just tried to relax, pushed all other thoughts out of my mind and only think of my dad…"

Bella went on to explain her hypothesis of attributing her father's scent to everyone around her once we were with humans so she'd be less likely to attack them. It was actually a brilliant theory. Once again, I was in awe of my Bella.

"Bella, something about your focus and concentration opened up your mind to me," I told her. Bella gave me the most bewildered look. I couldn't blame her. This was a first for both of us.

"Did you see Charlie in my mind?" she asked incredulously.

I nodded. "I know it seems crazy since I've never been able to hear you before -and not for lack of trying! But this time, I was sitting here with nothing else in my head except for my own thoughts and then…boom…Charlie. I certainly wasn't thinking of him. And I could smell him too," I told her. I couldn't help but smile a little. It was incredible.

Bella and I just sat there quietly staring at one another with our mouths slightly agape, both of us amazed.

**A/N Uh-huh. Pretty cool, eh? Bella deals with humans in the next chapter, plus, more Edward and Bella interaction. You want to read more? Tell me about it. And continuing on the Outkast theme, "Lend me some sugar. I AM your neighbor." Click and review, please! I'll just be over here writing and stuff.**


	9. Beautiful Liar

**A/N You know good and well I don't own Twilight.**

**I'm hoping posting this today will light a fire under my butt and get me hustling on the next chapter--told you I'm behind the eight ball. In other news, "The Daily Grind" got 3rd place in the Twilight All Human Fan Fiction Awards so thanks to those who voted.**

**Real quick, as I stated in the beginning A/N last chapter, I cannot adhere to any sort of updating schedule so you'll just have to put this hot mess on alert if you want to read it. That's the best I can offer, especially since my mojo is MIA--see end A/N for more on that.**

**Okay, I love this chapter and I hope you do too. Virtual fist bump goes to Phantom for her behind the scenes beta work/voo doo magic. She's got a gift, kids. All right, here you go. GREAR please.**

**Chapter 9: Beautiful Liar**

**BPoV**

Edward and I continued to stare at one another. I couldn't believe he actually heard me, or rather, saw what I was thinking. It was only for a few seconds, but that was the most he'd ever gotten a glimpse into my head ever. Thank goodness.

I tried to recall what exactly I was doing when he allegedly heard my thoughts. I had tried thinking of only Charlie and his smell but kept losing concentration so I…pushed all other thoughts out of my head, keeping only the ones I wanted. That worked better, though it was a bit difficult pushing ideas out rather than focusing on the ones I wanted. It had seemed counterintuitive, so it would just figure that it'd be something I'd have to do then wouldn't it? I never did things the easy way. Clearly. My mind never worked right it seemed.

"Well, that's different," I commented, pointing out the obvious. "Can you hear me now?" I asked half-seriously and half-jokingly since I sounded like a mobile phone commercial. I even smiled momentarily at my own dumb joke.

Edward smirked a little as well but it was half hearted at best and belied by his furrowed brow. He always looked that way when he was concentrating. His face fell and he shook his head no. He seemed down about it.

I nodded. I had a feeling he'd come up empty. Back to business as usual. I continued to be a mental mute.

It was better this way.

"At least you finally get some peace and quiet, right?" I asked with a shrug, trying not to let on that I might know how it was that he heard me.

"I'd much rather hear you," Edward confessed. He was searching my eyes again.

I turned away, reaching for my backpack and throwing it on. And I'd much rather not have to test my Charlie's scent hypothesis or be stuck in a hotel room with the man who broke my heart months ago.

"Well, we can't always get what we want, can we?" I mumbled. I was certain he heard me though. Edward heard everything…well, everything except my mind, usually anyway. I began walking and Edward was right next to me.

"There's always hope," Edward responded.

I had to roll my eyes at that one. I hated hope.

"What is it, Bella?" He must have caught the eye roll. "Got something against hope?"

"To hold something against it would imply that I give it any credence in the first place," I said before I could stop myself. Shoot! Slipped again. I winced and shook my head. What was it about this man that caused me to always say too much? It was time to put cynical Bella back in the box. No need to show Edward just how pathetic I'd been and how broken I was.

I heard Edward sigh and I looked up at him questioningly. He looked a little tortured.

"Bella, you don't believe in hope?" And then under his breath I heard him say, "What have I done?" I knew I'd never have heard that had I still been human.

I felt kind of bad that he seemed to be beating himself up over my cynicism even though he had played a major role in its formation. That was the stupid part of me. The part of me that loved him.

I wanted to put that part in a box too. A funeral box.

"Edward, don't worry about it. It's just life for me now. I accept…well, I'm accepting the hand I was dealt, and I'm slowly coming to grips with what to expect for the rest of my existence." For some reason I was speaking glibly about my condemnation. As if I truly didn't mind all that much, when the truth was that the very idea sickened me. I had only ever wanted to be with Edward forever. The vampire part was just one of the drawbacks.

But I was a vampire now, there was no turning back and I really hadn't put much thought into my classification thus far. Where had I landed on the vampirism spectrum?

"Which is?" Edward prompted.

"I'm a nomad, a drifter now. Well, I will be after." A nomad? Images of the hellish trio floated to the forefront of my consciousness. I pushed the thoughts away. I would not be like them.

"After what?" he sounded perplexed.

"Rio," I shrugged.

The sun was setting and we were getting closer to the edge of the wilderness. We'd be approaching the road soon. I was sniffing the air trying to discern if there were humans around yet. I was ready to hold my breath as soon as I smelled anything different.

Edward looked like he wanted to say something else, but I didn't give him a chance to.

"We should start running now just alongside the road but still be covered in the wilderness?" It was more of a statement than a question, but I looked up at Edward for confirmation anyway. He was the one with experience after all. When I looked at him his jaw was clenched and he didn't say anything, merely nodding in assent. His eyes had a faraway look to them.

I was about to sprint off but thought I'd ask him something first.

"You still want to be here?" I wanted to know and I thought it was a legitimate question. He looked rather angry, and I didn't want to keep him here any longer if he didn't want or need to be here. He could leave any time he wanted. In fact, I expected him to leave right now. I really didn't understand why he'd been with me this long.

"Of course," he all but snapped. He seemed offended I'd asked.

Well _sorry._ I suppressed the desire to roll my eyes at him. "Okay then. Let's go."

**EPoV**

As I ran along side Bella, I couldn't help but seethe. She was so hard now, emotionally that is. She'd lost any kind of hope, considered herself a friendless nomad, and she sure didn't plan on staying with me or my family.

I wanted to kick myself. I'd made her this way, and I _hated_ myself for it. Victoria might have been the one to technically change Bella, but _I_ was the one responsible for the distrustful woman she'd turned into. I wondered if I could rebuild any of that trust. I didn't know if she'd allow me to, but I'd sure as hell try. I had to believe Bella had built this wall up for survival purposes. If she felt safe and loved again then perhaps the kind and trusting Bella would return.

I had to believe that I could fix this.

It was dark now as we approached town. There weren't a lot of people out and about, but the buzz of people's random thoughts filled my head once again. I had forgotten how loud it could get in my mind. I already missed the peace and tranquility of the wilderness.

We were probably twenty miles from Phoenix when Bella slowed down and then finally stopped.

"What's the matter?" I asked.

"Um…" she seemed scared and a bit disoriented, looking around and sniffing the air. There were cars nearby and we could smell the humans. She was swallowing back venom but wasn't making a move to seek out anybody. I could tell her senses were overwhelmed though.

I placed a hand on her shoulder. "Bella, close your eyes and remember Charlie," I told her.

Bella nodded quickly and did as I suggested. After a couple deep breaths she was ready to proceed.

"I think…we should…get a…taxi or…something," Bella said swallowing after every other word. "You know…for the hotel. We can't…just walk along the…highway." Her hands formed tight fists that she kept at her sides. She was fighting the urge to hunt and was doing quite well considering.

"Okay," I said. "Let's go in there. Are you all right? You're doing great," I was about to call her _love_, but I caught myself. Bella nodded, not able to talk yet since she was concentrating on staying strong. "Keep thinking of Charlie."

There was a restaurant nearby where we were able to look up the number of a cab company. We were outside, sitting on a bench, waiting for the taxi that would take us to the hotel in Phoenix. Bella hadn't uttered a syllable since she'd acknowledged the need for a taxi and when the cab came she simply slid silently inside while I told the driver where to take us.

The human smell was concentrated in the taxi. Even I had to swallow back some venom. Bella's eyes widened and she immediately began holding her breath. She looked up at me, fear evident in her eyes as she swallowed back again.

I nodded to reassure her that she was doing fine, and in a move I could never have anticipated, Bella grabbed my hand and squeezed. Hard. Really hard. She was so strong. I didn't think she'd actually crush my hand with her strength, but it felt like she was coming close to it.

It didn't matter though. Bella was _touching_ me. Voluntarily, without the intention to kill me and for support. I interpreted it as a small victory.

I somehow wiggled my thumb free from her steely clasp and was able to rub small circles on the back of her hand in attempt to soothe her. She relaxed just a bit as she sat back in the seat.

Out of unwilling curiosity I relaxed my hand a little just to see if Bella would pull her hand away since she appeared to be a little more at ease.

I rejoiced when she didn't, simply blowing out a breath and inhaling slightly before squeezing my hand once more and shutting off her breathing again. At least she'd given it a try. I was still over the moon about her holding my hand.

I guess that's why I got a little bolder. "Switch?" I asked looking down at our hands. She released her grip from my left hand and I gave her my right one to hold. She grabbed it willingly and squeezed just as tightly as she had before. It didn't hurt but I wondered whether my hand would be ground into powder if she squeezed a little harder.

I wrapped my now free left arm around her shoulder and pulled her a little closer to me. I could feel Bella tense up, but she didn't slap me or demand that I not touch her. I turned my head slightly to the left and placed a kiss atop her head, taking in the delicious scent of her hair. _I love you_, I said in my head wishing she could hear my thoughts. I smiled ruefully at that idea. If only.

Again, Bella stiffened beneath my touch but she didn't throw me off of her either. I did feel her grip on my hand loosen a small amount, but she never removed her hand from mine. I was in heaven, if heaven could be a smelly cab in Arizona.

The ride to the hotel was quiet, thank goodness. Bella held it together beautifully. Her control was nothing short of amazing. Luckily, the driver didn't feel the need to chat or make small talk with us. He did chance the occasional glance back at us in the rearview mirror. I heard him thinking about how beautiful my Bella was but also how murderous she looked. He also wondered if we had been fighting. "Poor sucker," he thought of me. "What did he do to piss off a gorgeous woman like that? She looks like she wants to kill someone. I bet he cheated on her. Dumbass. Doesn't he know a good thing when he has it?" I wondered if he knew how accurate his thoughts were, well, not about the cheating part. I wondered what he would think if he were aware that it was he who was close to death and not me. But death by way of Bella would have been the best way for him to go. Killed by a beautiful woman? There were worse ways to die.

God knew I'd choose it.

He dropped us off at the lobby door. Bella couldn't get out of the car fast enough. I wasn't sure if it was due to the smell or my proximity.

I paid the man and then turned to Bella who was sucking in some fresh air. So it was the smell in the car. That was a relief.

She sighed in relief. "He was a dead man driving," she commented shaking her head, as if to clear it of his scent.

I smiled. "Bella, you were absolutely brilliant."

She half-smiled her thanks and then started holding her breath again. She balled up her hands at her sides.

There were people around and she wanted to remain under control. I held out my left hand, offering it to her if she wanted it. I saw her hesitate for a split second, biting her bottom lip, before taking it again. I tried not to look smug, but I was completely overjoyed.

Bella remained quiet, holding her breath as I checked us in.

"Yes, Mr. and Mrs. Cullen, we've been expecting you," the concierge said. The speed with which Bella's head snapped up at the sound of being called Mrs. Cullen could have very well broken the sound barrier.

She looked completely shocked but not horror-stricken. That was a good sign. _Way to go, Alice_, I thought the same time I heard Bella mutter my sister's name in disdain.

"Did you have a good time on your hiking expedition?"

"Yes, we did. Thank you," I answered with a smile.

The concierge smiled back and looked to Bella for a response. I felt her squeeze my hand and I squeezed hers back. She nodded, "Mhm. Thank you," and held her breath again.

"Wonderful," he smiled again as he handed me our keycards so I thanked him again as Bella and I set off for the elevator.

We only needed to go up three floors, but we were the only two in the elevator so that was good. Bella was able to breathe again, not that she needed to, but it was definitely more comfortable to be able to do so. Old habits died hard. Unfortunately, she also let go of my hand. I tried not to let my disappointment show too much.

"You have exceptional control, Bella," I told her as the elevator doors opened to our floor. "It's amazing." I wanted to keep her spirits up and it was the absolute truth. I couldn't wait to tell Carlisle about it. I knew he'd be extremely proud of Bella. Esme would be so happy to see Bella again, as would Emmett. I wondered if Alice had told him about Bella yet. He'd probably be disappointed that she wouldn't be tripping over air anymore, as that had amused him to no end, but I was sure he'd be ecstatic to see Bella all the same and would waste no time in welcoming her back, perhaps even challenging her to various feats of strength. I smiled at the prospect of watching Bella best him, just as she'd bested Jacob. But then…she hadn't planned on staying it seemed.

Misery ripped through me as I was reminded of just how much I'd hurt Bella. She didn't want to stay with us after her visit to Isle Esme. It seemed that I had soured her on my entire family.

God, they'd hate me for that.

"Thanks," Bella replied with a small shrug. She appeared to be deep in thought, chewing on her bottom lip just like she used to do as a human. I'd wished so many times in the past that I could have heard her thoughts, but, even considering all the times in those first few weeks after I'd met her, I don't think I'd ever wanted to hear them as much as I did just then.

I swiped the keycard when we found our room and held the door open for Bella to go in first. She thanked me quietly without looking at me as she entered.

I followed her in, closing the door softly rather than allowing it to shut loudly on its own. I guess I didn't want to disturb Bella's thoughts even though I couldn't hear them.

The room, suite rather, was enormous, with a king sized bed, a large sofa, and a balcony among the normal amenities found in any hotel room.

Bella went straight out onto the balcony leaving the sliding glass door open behind her. I took it as an invitation to join her out there. Or at least as a sign that she wasn't _totally_ opposed to me joining her.

It was a warm night, and the city below us was starting to come alive with people beginning to go out for the evening. Bella leaned over the railing and stared out towards a mountain that we had a view of.

"That's Camelback," she informed me. "My mom and Phil would go hiking up it all the time. I used to go with occasionally. I twisted my ankle every time, and it would take me forever to get up to the top." She chuckled softly to herself. "I bet I could run up it now in five minutes flat."

"You want to go and see?" I asked her softly after a moment, shocked that she'd offered up the information.

Bella tilted her head to look at me. "Really?"

I shrugged. "Why not? We could walk there." Bella immediately shook her head no. "Or we could drive. Alice rented us a car too. I can call the company to have them drop if off."

"Okay," Bella assented. I nodded and ducked back inside to make a couple calls. The concierge was to call the room once the car was dropped off.

Bella stepped back inside as well but went into the bathroom. I was reminded of when she'd needed her human moments and I'd waited for her in her room. She wouldn't need them anymore, but I did hear the shower turn on.

I stood right outside the bathroom listening to the sound of the water running in the shower hoping, once again, to maybe catch a glimpse of Bella's mind like I did back at Apache Creek. I couldn't get any closer to her than this side of the closed door but I concentrated, placing my hands on either side of the door and putting my forehead against the door itself.

I got nothing. "Damn," I muttered regretfully. Those would have been thoughts I would have enjoyed immensely.

The phone in the room rang so I went to answer it. The car had been delivered and we could pick up the keys at the front desk. As I hung up, Bella came out of the bathroom, and god help me, she was only wearing a towel. I suddenly felt amazingly grateful that hotels were so stingy when it came to towel size.

"Sorry," she apologized as she scurried over to get her backpack. "I was so excited to be able to get cleaned up that I left my bag over here." There were seventeen drops of water on her left shoulder, three of which were running down her back. I wanted to kiss all seventeen drops off of her and bury my face in her hair, which was an even darker brown than usual due to the fact that it was still damp. She smelled fantastic too.

I was going to tell Bella that there was no need to apologize, but I was too busy eyeing her up and she was too quick to retrieve the bag and go back inside the bathroom.

About two minutes later Bella came back out, dressed in her clean change of clothes. She was wearing her backpack again while holding the bundle that was her old outfit in her arms.

"The car's here," I told her. "Mind if I jump in the shower really quick and change?"

Bella shook her head.

"Thanks," I said. "I'll only be a moment. Oh, and the concierge said that the maid will be up in a while to launder our clothes so you can just leave them on the chair," I told her gesturing to said chair.

Bella nodded as I went into the bathroom and filled my lungs with her scent, which was still fresh in the bathroom. I realized that I'd also neglected to grab my clothes and toyed with the idea of emerging later with only a towel on, just to see what Bella's reaction would be.

Then I sighed and went out to get my clothes while my inner teenager jeered at my responsible ways.

**BPoV**

What the hell were these Cullens doing to me? It wasn't even all of them, just Alice and Edward. They were driving me to the brink of insanity.

Edward was being all nice and patient and supportive. It was really annoying. I thought for sure he'd be pestering me with all kinds of questions. He may have wanted to, and if I knew him, he did, but he _was_ giving me a lot of space -save for the stunt he pulled in the taxi.

Talk about hitting below the belt! Figuratively, anyway. I was at my most vulnerable state, fighting off the urge to kill the cab driver. All my energy was going into not murdering him and trying to remember Charlie. I wasn't even thinking when I grabbed Edward's hand. If I had had a strap of leather or a belt I would have been biting down on that instead, though my teeth probably would have sunk right through. Squeezing Edward's hand took the edge off of the bloodlust. A little bit anyway.

God, that bloodlust was awful. It was difficult to stay restrained, even with my being completely disgusted by human blood. I couldn't imagine how even more difficult it had been for Edward _not_ to kill me all the time when I was human. Perhaps that was another factor in his leaving. He wouldn't have had to fight the urge to attack me anymore. I could understand that after today.

The venom had immediately pooled inside my mouth as soon as I smelled humans. My head would whip around at any sudden movement, trying to follow the various scents around me. It took all my willpower not to go running off and killing someone. All I could think about was quenching the dry burning in my throat. I could almost feel the hot blood pouring down my throat, quenching the flames. I _needed_ to put the fire out.

Thank goodness Edward had reminded me of Charlie. It was what I needed to hear in order for me to avoid attacking the entire town.

And then there was Alice with the _Mr. and Mrs. Cullen_ crap. The next time I saw her I would first kiss her for leaving me the fully stocked bathroom at their house and then I'd throttle her tiny little body. What was she playing at anyway?

I swear, between Jake and Alice…I was almost seething. They were more meddlesome than…no, I didn't believe there could be a more meddlesome pair.

Jake. I had forgotten how I had ignored his last couple of messages. I grabbed my phone to text him our whereabouts, and I was forced to read the messages that I ignored before when he told me that Edward allegedly loved me:

**I'm just saying**

**Don't kill the messenger, geez**

**Okay, I'm sorry. he's an ass. stay safe.**

Just as I was done sending the message, Edward stepped out from the bathroom. He smelled heavenly and he looked godlike. Of course. Damn him!

"Ready," he asked as he placed his pile of clothes atop mine on the chair.

"Yep," I answered.

I left the room and Edward followed me out. We waited for the elevator and when the door opened, there were about four people already in it, two couples. They stared at us waiting for us to get in, but I turned to Edward and said we should wait for the next one. I didn't know if I could control myself in that enclosed space with a virtual human buffet.

As the elevator doors closed, I noticed Edward smirking a little and shaking his head.

"What is it?"

"Some of them thought we wanted a different elevator car because we wanted to uh…have it all to ourselves," he answered.

"We do," I said. "Well, _I_ do anyway because who knows what I would have done to them…" then the realization hit me. "Oh," I said in understanding. They must have thought we'd be doing something…inappropriate in there. I shook my head and rolled my eyes. People.

The next car was empty, thank goodness, but the venom still pooled in my mouth from the human scent that lingered.

"Do you want to drive?" Edward asked me.

I shook my head. I was surprised that he'd asked. He didn't like to give up the driver's seat usually. "I should probably still concentrate on not killing anyone," I reasoned.

Edward nodded. "Good call."

Edward retrieved the car keys from the concierge while I held my breath and swallowed back venom while waiting for him.

Edward drove while I told him how to get to Camelback Mountain. We had to park in a neighborhood and walk the rest of the way. It was about nine o'clock so if people were out, they were driving not walking like us.

Once we were at the base of the mountain I asked if Edward wanted to race up.

Edward chuckled a little before answering, "As long as you don't cheat and you give me a fair chance."

I gave him a dubious look. "Cheat? You mean like this?" I shoved him back easily as I took off for the top. I heard him swear, "Damn!" as he fell back and hit the ground, but he was also still laughing, as was I. Call me immature, but it was fun as well as cathartic pushing Edward Cullen down, even if I were technically cheating.

I was wrong. I made it to the top in three minutes flat, thirteen seconds faster than Edward. I was sitting down looking at the lights of Phoenix, Scottsdale, and Tempe when he sat down next to me. How I missed the desert.

We just sat there silently. I couldn't even guess at what Edward was thinking. We were still close enough to people for him to be unable to tune out their thoughts, but I was sure it was the most peace and quiet he'd experienced since Apache Creek.

I thought about my mom and Phil. And then Charlie.

"We used to live over there," I said as I pointed toward Scottsdale. I loved that little house and my room. It wasn't anywhere close to being roomy, but it was our home. "And my high school was over there." I pointed in another direction.

Edward didn't say anything. He just let me talk whenever I felt the need. I wasn't sure he knew what to say.

"I never got to see their house in Jacksonville," I said sadly wrapping my arms around my knees. "They were dead and the house was incinerated." I was shaking my head. "I never got to say goodbye or I love you or _anything_."

I rested my forehead on my knees as I suppressed the dry sobs that always accompanied the memories of my parents.

I felt Edward's hand on my back and I felt even worse. He was, once again, being sweet. It was so difficult to reconcile his behavior now with his leaving me and his not wanting me. I was an emotional basket case, and I had to put a little distance between myself and Edward before his touch confused me even more.

I stood up and walked to another spot, staring out at the lights in the city below once again.

Edward stood behind me. I could feel his eyes on me. He sighed a couple of times. Two short, soft sighs. I think he was building up the courage to say something to me.

"Bella, back at Apache Creek, you mentioned that Victoria killed your parents?" he asked quietly.

I nodded mutely.

"The gas leak and fire weren't accidents?" his voice was very gentle, very soft, but the words were like glass shards tearing into my head.

I shook my head infinitesimally.

"Laurent said it was a rash decision on Victoria's part. They were originally going to…feed, but…" I couldn't finish the thought let alone the sentence.

"I at least got to tell Charlie I loved him," I whispered. "Laurent was supposed to get Charlie, but Victoria had other plans I guess."

"Bella," Edward breathed as he put a hand on my shoulder.

I shook my head as I stepped away from his touch. I couldn't bear his sympathy. I was a selfish monster, undeserving of comfort. It was all my fault after all. "I shouldn't be here. I should be with them. They died because of me." I hung my head, staring at the ground. "I don't deserve to walk this earth, but I guess I was meant to be alone. I've always been a danger to myself and others. That's why everyone I love leaves or is taken from me, right?"

I fell to my knees and picked up a couple rocks and ground them into powder. I guess it was a sort of displacement activity for me. Edward sat down next to me, and, for his part, he hadn't said a word. He probably agreed with me. He didn't negate it. He had always known I was a danger magnet. My days had been numbered the day I stepped foot in Forks.

It just hadn't been fair that my parents had to suffer because of me. If I had been marked all along, if Fate wanted me to suffer, she had succeeded in her mission.

I was lost in my own self-loathing when I heard a low growl coming from Edward.

**EPoV**

"No, Bella, it was me. It was my fault, and I'm so sorry," I told her, the words wrenching themselves from the depths of my soul. I had so much to apologize for. "Please know that I had no idea that my leaving would have caused all this pain for you. I really thought I was doing the right thing by leaving you alone. You were in constant danger whenever I was near you. I only meant to keep you safe…without my presence in your life."

"What are you talking about?" Bella asked sounding shocked more than angry.

"Bella, I lied to you and I'm so sorry…I," I tried to explain but she cut me off.

"I know, Edward. I know you lied."

"You do?" I asked in surprise. She knew about why I had to leave her? But how? Had she seen right through me that day? But the expression in her eyes…she'd looked agonized, betrayed.

Bella blew out an unnecessary breath before she answered. Whatever she was about to say was going to be difficult, I surmised. "It hurt, okay? It still hurts to think back to that day you left me, but…I never would have wanted you to be trapped in a…loveless," she choked the word loveless out, "relationship with me."

Now it was my turn to be shocked. "Bella, what on earth are you talking about?"

"Why you lied. What are you talking about?"

"Wait. Do you know why I had to leave, Bella?" I demanded.

Bella winced looking away from me. "I can't believe I have to say it," she complained in a hushed voice. "Because you…didn't love me…you didn't want me," she finished morosely, staring at the ground again. Her jaw was clenched and she made a move to stand up, to possibly take off running, but in a millisecond I was right next to her. I wanted to grip her and shake some sense into her, to hold her to me and kiss her until all of my lies fled her head and she forgot this insane notion that I didn't love her.

My movement made her look up and I was able to place my hands on either side of her face. She wouldn't look me in the eye, however. Her gaze was aimed away from me. I felt slightly comforted by the fact that she wasn't fighting to get out of my grasp.

"No, Bella, no," I said to her shaking my head. "That was the lie. My not wanting you was the lie. I've always loved you. I always will love you," I pleaded with her. I had to explain, make her understand. "Bella, please look at me," I begged.

Slowly, reluctantly, she turned her head toward me. Her eyes were glassy, like she'd be crying if she could.

"Bella, please tell me you believe that I love you and that I never stopped loving you. I'll always want you."

All Bella could do was stare back at me, clearly bewildered.

"Bella, please, say you believe me," I implored.

"I…am confused," she managed to finally say. "You love me?"

"Yes, very much. With every fiber of my being. I always have and I always will. I had to lie in order for you to let me go. I'm a good liar, Bella. I have to be. But for you to believe me so easily…even though it was my intent, it nearly killed me to walk away from you that day. I expected to have to argue with you all day, but…you accepted the lie so quickly. How, Bella? After all the times I've professed my love to you? After all the thousand times I've told you I love you, how could you let one word break your faith in me?"

I felt terrible for berating her after she had told me about losing her parents and also since I hadn't been this close to her months. Close enough to maybe…kiss…but not now, not yet. I needed an answer. I needed to know why? Why had she believed me? How could she believe me?

Had I failed so miserably to convey the depth of my devotion to her?

I still held Bella's face in my hands, but she began shaking her head as if she didn't want to answer. But I refused to let go and so she did anyway.

"It never made sense…you loving me. I could never be enough for you. I always knew that." Bella spoke quietly and the pained expression on her face nearly did to my stone heart what she had done with those rocks earlier.

I'd thought I'd shown her how truly remarkable she was. I thought I'd shown her how skewed her perception of her self worth was.

Blind. I'd been so, so blind.

"That's the most ridiculous, absurd…" Bella tried to turn away from me again, but I held her face firmly knowing I wasn't hurting her. I had to get another answer out of her. Remembering Jacob's memory of Bella when she left. She didn't want a man that didn't want her. Knowing now that I loved her and wanted her, that I always had, did she feel the same? I quickly thought about her terse demeanor towards me since I'd joined her on her journey. She had been so hostile. She had been less hostile just recently, but I was sure that was because she was harnessing all her energy into not attacking anyone.

I tensed in apprehension, my body clenching uncomfortably.

"Bella, am I too late? Have I hurt you too much? Do you…could you…do you think you could ever have feelings for me?" I was too afraid to ask her if she still loved me. Too afraid that I wouldn't be able to survive her answer. I searched her eyes for my answer, but she looked…angry, incredulous even.

I braced myself for the kiss of death from my love. It would be fair if she didn't love me anymore. I'd done so much damage. I wouldn't blame her if she hated me. She had every reason to hate me.

But I wanted her back. My friend, my lover, my confidante. If there was even a shred of tenderness left in her for me I could live with that, work with it, woo her until she was mine again.

"What kind of idiotic question is that?" she asked, clearly irritated.

"Just answer it please," I begged, hoping against hope for a positive response despite all indications to the contrary.

"Of course I have feelings for you! I loved you! Nothing you can do could ever change that. Ever. Even if it was nothing to you it was everything to me."

That was all I needed to hear. I inched my face closer to Bella's. I needed to feel her lips against mine once again. I had missed her so much, and the build up to this kiss was agonizing.

Before my lips could make purchase with hers though, Bella squeezed her eyes shut and stopped me.

"Wait."

"What is it?" I asked breathing in her breath. Or mouths were mere centimeters apart.

Bella opened her eyes again but she seemed to almost shrink into herself. "Are you going to…leave again?" she asked hesitantly. She sounded…frightened, terrified even. "Because I don't want to kiss you if you're just going to leave."

I shook my head in relief, it wasn't aversion to me, I would spend the rest of eternity reassuring her, but right now I wanted to feel her against me once more. "I can't leave, Bella. Not unless you tell me to go, love. And even then, I'll put up a fight." I smiled tenderly at her, hoping to convey the sincerity and intention of my words. Even if she told me to get lost, I'd have all of forever to try to change her mind. I was grateful, however, that we didn't have to waste one minute more of our eternity.

And before I could register another thought about forever with Bella, she crashed her lips into mine in an urgent, impassioned kiss, entwining her fingers in my hair causing me to moan into her mouth. How I missed that sensation.

I returned her eagerness and passion with my own fervor. This kiss was unlike any other we had shared when she was human. I was always careful and restrained before.

How exhilarating it was to kiss my Bella with abandon! To be able to taste the sweetness of her breath and feel her silky tongue tangled with mine. The confidence that she would not, could not, cut her tongue as she ran it along my razor sharp teeth was incredible. We could show physical love just as passionately as we felt it now. I was able to hold Bella tightly to me without fear of crushing her. The immense and infinite joy I felt from being with my love, my only love, was immeasurable and beyond articulation.

**A/N Did you like? Hope so. Okay, friends, believe it or not, I am completely unmotivated right now. Really. You want another a chapter? So do I. Who's gonna write it? Oh, right. So send me some love why don'tcha?**


	10. Spite

**A/N I'm not Stephenie Meyer so I don't own any of this stuff, but thanks for reading.**

**Well, if it isn't ATO Wednesday (not that I'm sticking to that--no promises, remember?). I don't have much written for the next chapter, but I'm updating anyway because I'm going to need some feedback (make sure to read the end A/N).**

**Much love to Phantom for her skills and betocity. Oh, she's also created a banner for ATO. It's ready, and I have the link for it up on the ol' profile page. I told you she's the bomb, right? Or perhaps, she's merely my minion doing my evil bidding. Either one works. Here's the next one. GREAR.**

**Chapter 10: Spite**

**BPoV**

I wasn't even thinking straight when I all but attacked Edward's mouth with my own. I didn't know if it was my confused state that made me lose my head or what, but he had been so sweet despite my attitude and mood swings. Maybe it was because I had experienced so much loss lately and was so afraid of losing even more than I had already, that when Edward told me, no, _swore_ to me, that he had always loved me and wanted me and would never leave me again, I had wanted to cling to that.

Though Edward was clearly tortured and repentant about whatever it was he thought he was responsible for besides hurting me when he left, he had also been looking at me so longingly, so lovingly. His lips were so close to mine, and his sweet breath made my head swirl just like it had when I was human. I couldn't stop myself from kissing him.

Even though I wanted to believe every word he had said, that he really wouldn't leave me again, I still doubted. Nevertheless, the heartbreak I'd suffer if he broke his word would have been worth the ecstasy and bliss of this kiss. I wouldn't have traded this moment for all the tea in China or all the mountain lions this side of the Mississippi. Nothing in the world would have been worth missing this kiss, and I put everything I had into it, for who knew when or if I'd get to do this again?

But soon, slowly but surely, my senses came back to me.

I stopped moving my lips and drew back hesitantly, pushing against Edward's chest. I could feel my brows furrow as I stared intently into his eyes.

"Bella? What's the matter?" he asked with a hint of what I detected as panic in his quiet voice.

"I don't repulse you?" I asked remembering how he'd never wanted to change me. His abhorrence at the thought, his constant praise of my humanity and his indifference to all the female vampires he'd ever come across.

Edward shook his head and looked at me like I was crazy. "You are the furthest thing from repulsive, Bella," he scoffed. "You are…" he traced my bottom lip with his pointer finger, giving me chills. Could vampires get the chills? It _felt_ like the chills. "…magnificent isn't even worthy enough a word. _Exquisite_ doesn't even come close to meeting the mark either, love."

"But I thought the idea of my becoming like you disgusted you," I said, voicing my darkest fears. "You never wanted me to be like you." _Did you only love me for my humanness? For my warmth, my heartbeat and my blush? My brown eyes?_

Edward blew out a breath before he responded. "Bella, I never wanted to take away your soul. It wasn't right…"

I turned away, stung by his last few words. I knew it. My being a vampire still wasn't enough.

"Bella, please…let me finish…"

My back was turned to Edward, and I had my hands on my hips, but I waited for him to continue.

"It wasn't right for me to change you. I thought I was a monster, and I wondered how you could want to be a monster too…"

I had to interrupt. Even after he left me I could never bear to hear ill of him and I'd never been able to stand by while he maligned himself. "I never thought you were a monster, Edward. And you talk about me not perceiving _myself_ correctly…" I shook my head and sneered. "All I ever wanted was to be with you, no matter what it took. I'm sorry you didn't feel the same way." I closed my eyes when I added that last part, I didn't need to see the pity in his eyes at my admission, and in when I reopened them, Edward was in front of me again, his eyes blazing.

I stared up at him, setting my jaw, defying him to dispute my statement.

When he spoke his voice was very even, but I could tell he was restraining some powerful emotions. "It's true that I didn't want you to be a monster, but that doesn't mean that I didn't want to be with you, Bella! I've _always _wanted you. Never doubt that." His voice had grown impassioned and I could tell he meant every word. Or at least, he thought he did. "But don't you see? It wasn't that I didn't want you, it was that _I_ didn't _deserve_ _you_. I left you for the same reason you left Forks, for Jacob's good and the good of his tribe…Yes, he told us why you left…I wanted you to lead a normal life as well. That's what_you_ deserved. It would have been selfish for me to turn you and take away your future."

I listened to his words. I didn't like them, but they did make sense. They made sense because it was the same argument I'd used to leave Jacob.

"So, you're saying you sacrificed…"

"Being with the love of my entire existence so she could have a better life." He nodded agreement. "A life free from danger…free from _me_ because, believe it or not, Bella, I _was_ a danger to you."

"Yes," I interjected again. "And I appreciate your efforts in keeping me alive. Believe me, I finally understand how difficult it must have been for you, but also believe me when I say that I never regretted falling in love with you."

"And you think I do?" he asked, utterly incredulous.

I shrugged. "_You_ were the one who walked away." I tried very, very hard to keep the bitterness out of my voice. "All I know is that I _died_ the day you left me." I felt the searing agony tear through me as the memory flashed across my mind once again and some of that pain seeped into my voice. "I wasn't kidding when I told you that you already had my soul." Soulless, that was an apt description of how I'd felt after he'd left. Even had I built a life for myself, I would have remained soulless, living a half-life, unable to feel anything but loss and pain, unable to find pleasure in anything. Yes, I might have existed, exhibited all the signs of a living organism, but everything making life _worth _living had left me when Edward had.

Of course, I could never tell him all this. Never expose myself to him in such a way again. Never show him just how dependent I was on him. I had already committed myself to an eternity of penance -there was no reason he had to join me in it. If I told him everything then I knew he would stay with me, even if he wanted to leave.

I loved him far too much to do that to him.

At this realization I let out a harsh bark of laughter. "You left me so I could…_live_?" I said incredulously. The notion was so absurd, so _nonsensical_. "You thought I could just _forget_ you and go on living like my heart wasn't taken away from me?" I was shaking my head again, this time in sadness. "You didn't believe in my love for _you_, Edward."

It was quiet for what seemed like minutes as Edward met my defiant gaze with a somber one of his own, and my words remained hanging in the air. He looked like he was really thinking hard, perhaps turning my words over in his mind.

Finally, Edward hung his head in…defeat? He was nodding, mostly to himself, it looked like.

"You're right, Bella," he said softly. "I never gave your feelings for me the significance that they deserved and for that I must beg your forgiveness. I just never thought that I could have made such an impact on you. But," he hastened to assure me, "it was only because you are so good and pure and I was…I _am_ a…"

"I swear, if you say monster one more time, Edward," I warned him.

Edward smiled slightly, but his eyes remained grave. "See?" he said stroking my cheek. "Still, you are too good, Bella."

I shook my head and gave him a rueful smile, but I placed my hand atop his on my cheek. "Well, you're not," I whispered.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. For everything's that's happened. For me to leave you to face…_Victoria_," Edward spat her name malevolently. I shivered at his tone. She was lucky that the wolves had been her executioners rather than Edward. "And your parents…" he whispered with regret and sorrow in his tone. "I am _so, so_ sorry, Bella."

I closed my eyes at the mention of them, biting my bottom lip so hard I was surprised I didn't sever it from my face. It still hurt to think about them, let alone hear them being talked about. Edward wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into his chest. I couldn't cry actual tears, but the dry sobs returned, wracking my body. I gave in to the sorrow, falling to the ground and bringing Edward with me. I curled up into a ball against his chest while his arms remained wrapped around me, soothing me, protecting me, allowing me to mourn.

**EPoV**

I held Bella to me as she got as close to crying as any vampire could. We had much to discuss still, but she needed to let this out. And I was grateful, she trusted me enough to finally show deep emotion. She was just so guarded before. Masked and unbendable. She had reached a breaking point, it seemed.

While I knew it was good for Bella to finally let go and grieve, it pained me to see her go through it. If I could have taken the sadness and guilt away or even felt the pain for her so she wouldn't have to feel it herself, I would have done it in a vampire second. I would do _anything_ for her. But all I could do for her at the moment was hold her.

After a long while Bella seemed to calm down and her shaking body stilled. She was still curled up against me in a little ball but then turned her head to rest her cheek against my chest. We remained silent though I didn't mind. Bella was still in my arms. She wanted to be there, and she was allowing me to hold her to me. I could have stayed like that forever. Most of my mind at peace although the vampiric supercomputer assessed her –surely she was much smaller than the last time I'd held her? How much weight had she lost?- but the same calm that tended to descend upon me when my Bella was safe in my arms wrapped itself around me and I just gazed down at her and ran my fingers through her hair.

It was about four in the morning when Bella finally spoke.

"Sorry," was all she said.

I furrowed my brow, though she couldn't see it. "Why? What could you possibly be sorry for, Bella?" I asked kissing the top of her head. I knew it wasn't my imagination that she burrowed her body even closer to me. My heart soared and I was more than happy to hold her tighter.

I felt Bella shrug. "For being such a mess right now, for starters."

"You're grieving, Bella." I told her in an almost scolding tone. She should never apologize for her emotions. "That was a perfectly normal reaction."

"How about for being a jerk towards you before?" she asked a moment later, her tone much lighter.

I smiled. "You had every reason to be upset with me." That was an understatement.

She nodded minutely in agreement. "Well, in that case I'm sorry I cheated and pushed you down before racing to the top here."

I chuckled. "Yes, well, it's not like I didn't deserve that shove or worse treatment even." _Besides, I enjoyed feeling your hands on me._

Bella took a moment to consider what I said. "That's true." I could hear the smile in her voice. We both laughed quietly.

"This is nice," Bella said a minute later. She sounded content, and the ease with which Bella relaxed her body against mine proved it. _Nice_ didn't even begin to cover the heavenly sensations, though my thoughts were taking a distinctly sinful turn...

Unfortunately time was getting away from us and I grudgingly began to stir a little, unwrapping my arms from around her.

"Bella, we should get back before the sun rises," I told her.

"Yep," she agreed, lithely hopping to her feet. I smiled. It didn't take me by surprise anymore, but Bella's grace and nimbleness was fun to watch. "What?" she asked curiously. She was completely unaware of how amazing she was to me. How her every action fascinated me.

I shook my head. "You. I love just watching you move. It's beautiful. _You're beautiful_."

She rolled her eyes.

"It's true," I laughed. "You and your eye rolls," I said teasingly. I could afford to joke about it now that they weren't accompanied by her scowls or death glares.

"Hey, I can't blush anymore. Let me have my eye rolling, okay?" Bella sounded half-annoyed yet half-amused as well. It was wonderful to have the mood lightened now.

"You can have anything you want, Bella," I told her sincerely as I tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear.

Our gazes locked for an immeasurable moment, and in that time, I thought, or perhaps I only hoped, that Bella wanted to kiss me again. Her chin tilted up ever so slightly, and I could have sworn her lips puckered the tiniest bit as well.

Just as I was about to lean forward to brush my lips against hers, Bella said, "We should go," as she turned on her heel and started walking, leaving me standing there with my head hanging and staring at the ground. Damn. I really wished I could have heard her mind right then.

I quickly caught up to Bella. "Are we racing again?" I asked, bracing myself for another shove.

She looked up at me thoughtfully, studying my face before asking, "Can we try something…for old time's sake?"

"Sure," I answered quickly, wondering what she was getting at.

"Um, okay," she said hesitating for just a fraction of a second before she hopped up on my back, wrapping her arms around my neck as she pressed her body against me, wrapping her legs around my waist. I closed my eyes, relishing in the sensation of Bella touching me. "Do you mind?" she whispered in my ear.

"Not at all," I replied. "I missed this."

"Me too," Bella said as she rested her chin on my shoulder.

I could have gotten us down the mountain rather quickly, but I wanted to draw the moment out for as long as I could. I was being greedy, I knew, but I had been without Bella for so long and I simply couldn't help myself. On top of that, it seemed she didn't mind me taking my time. The sun wasn't going to come up for another hour and a half or so, so we had some time to spare.

She was quiet most of the way down the mountain. I didn't chance to speak first for fear of…I didn't really know. Perhaps it was fear of breaking the spell, or whatever it was that compelled Bella to not only be on amicable terms with me but to also want to be this close to me. I didn't want to ruin the moment. I'd messed up enough already.

"I can smell the humans already," Bella commented when we were about halfway down. With her chin still on my shoulder, I felt her swallowing back the venom.

"Do you want to hunt before we go back?"

Bella shook her head. "No, I can wait 'til tonight I think. There's not time anyway, and nothing good up here. I think just jack rabbits."

I chuckled remembering Bella's first hunting experience from what Jacob told us and from what I saw in his mind at the time. Bella had quite the pile of rabbit carcasses.

Bella seemed to have read my mind. "Jake told you didn't he?" she asked accusingly. I could picture her eyes narrowing in contempt. I didn't answer so she inferred an affirmative response. "So embarrassing. I must be the saddest excuse for a vampire ever, right?"

She could be so ridiculous. "Not at all, Bella. I've told you already, your control is amazing. I don't think it could be rivaled, save for Carlisle. And even then, you know how long it took him to really get it under control."

"Not the control. The rabbits. The little Thumpers and Little Bunny Foo-foos I killed. It was pretty lame."

I chuckled again. "Yes, well, you had to start somewhere."

"You can say it was lame, Edward. Even Jake knew hunting rabbits was lame. He called me a demonic Snow White."

I laughed outright. "I guess killing woodland creatures by the bushel would make you just that." Bella smacked my chest with her hand. "But you have moved on to bigger and better prey rather quickly." I recalled how beautiful and sensual it was watching Bella hunt the night before. I couldn't wait to see her hunt again.

"True," she conceded. "That mountain lion was pretty good, you know, comparatively. But we'd better stop talking about hunting now or else I may massacre the entire hotel when we get back."

"Right," I said. I was already in a pretty good mood, but being reminded that I'd be alone with Bella all day improved it exponentially. This time we were on speaking terms, or rather better than just speaking terms, actually. Plus, we'd be confined in the same hotel room. Alice was a genius. I vowed to get her something nice to thank her for her efforts. I wondered if she'd like a Porsche. Something bright and cheery. Yellow might be nice.

Once we reached the base of the mountain, Bella jumped off my back. Although I instantly missed the contact, I knew it would have been infinitely worse had I not known that I would be allowed to remain in her presence for the rest of the day.

"Thanks," Bella said giving me a small smile.

"Anytime," I replied as we began walking back to the car. I noticed that Bella started holding her breath again. We were, after all, in a residential neighborhood. I offered her my hand to crush and smiled when she took it, squeezing hard, but not quite as hard as she'd done in the taxi the day before.

"Thanks for letting me…um, you know," she said lifting our interlocked hands up slightly. We had just gotten to the car and I opened the passenger's side door for her.

"Of course, Bella. Anything you need. You know that. And I'd be lying if I said that I don't enjoy your hand in mine," I said kissing the back of her hand before reluctantly letting go so she could get in the car.

"Me too," she said as she got in. I smiled victoriously as I closed her door and moved speedily to the driver's side.

We rode in silence and got back to the hotel pretty quickly. The lobby was rather quiet, as was to be expected; hardly anyone was up at this time. The scent of humans was still strong, though, so we hurried to the elevator and up to our room. Bella held her breath and grasped my hand the entire time.

"Well done once again," I complimented her once we were in the room.

"Thanks," she replied casually as she plugged in her phone to charge, which reminded me to do the same thing with mine. "It's getting a little easier, I think. I don't think I'm squeezing your hand as hard am I?"

I nodded. "You're right." She was using almost half as much force as she'd used in the first taxi ride.

We stood there looking at each other for a minute, neither of us sure of what to do or say next. We had another full day to kill, but this time, there was nowhere to walk aimlessly to and nothing really to busy ourselves with. No rocks for Bella to powder.

"Well, this is awkward," Bella commented as she sat down on the bed.

We had yet to talk about the kiss or anything regarding any kind of repair to our relationship. If we even had a relationship of any sort left.

Well, I had at least taken the first step. Bella now knew that I loved her and that I always would. I'd told her I wouldn't leave again, and I hoped she believed me. It didn't go unnoticed to me that she had yet to acknowledge or reciprocate my feelings save for the kiss, but that could have just occurred from the heat of the moment. Yet she let me hold her when she was grieving before. That had to mean something. She was hurting and needed someone…perhaps, though, it could have been anyone there holding her. Any body could have or would have sufficed. The thought pained me beyond articulation. I wanted her to need me. To want me. The kiss had given me a ray of hope. Her wanting me to hold her and then carry her down the mountain had bolstered that hope, but now I wasn't sure. I tried not to let my uncertainty show though.

"It doesn't have to be awkward," I replied as I sat down on a chair next to the bed. I looked at Bella looking back at me. I could almost see the wheels turning in her head but could hear nothing at all. So frustrating. "Bella, please talk to me."

**BPoV**

"I'm not sure what you want me to say," I replied warily.

"Tell me…anything. I just want to know what you're thinking and also how you feel about…is it too much to ask for you to tell me how you feel about everything?" he asked with that damn crooked smile. I would walk over hot coals if he used that smile on me while asking.

"I missed your smile," I blurted out. _Smooth, Bella_. _Smooth_.

Edward replied by smiling at me some more. He was definitely amused.

"What else is on your mind?" his voice was suddenly an octave lower, more seductive.

"You don't want to know," I said matter-of-factly as I shook my head. I was so full of conflict that I couldn't even make sense of my own thoughts!

"But I do. I always want to know, even if I won't like what you're thinking."

"You're being very…understanding," I finally conceded. Edward's eyes lit up slightly. "And it's really annoying me." His face fell. "Because I _really _want to be mad at you, but you're making it very difficult because you're being so sweet," I complained.

"So you're no longer mad at me?" he asked brightly. I couldn't answer right away. I just pursed my lips to the side, thinking about it. "Bella?"

"You hurt me…tremendously, Edward." Somehow, I found the nerve to look directly at him to tell him this. I _needed_ to tell him this. He knew already, probably from Jake as well as surmising it from my demeanor when he first joined me, but he needed to hear it directly from me.

Edward looked remorseful, of course, and completely repentant, but I didn't want to let him off the hook so easily. Well, okay, I may have sent the wrong signal back on top of Camelback when I all but jumped Edward, but it was an extremely impulsive move. I didn't regret doing it, but in the light of day, I could think more clearly and was not as easily dazzled by him. I tried not to be as easily dazzled by him anyway.

"I'm trying to reconcile my hurt and anger with…" I wanted to say _love_, but I was scared to say it at the same time. "…my _feelings_ for you." I had to look away at that last comment.

In a flash I felt the bed shift with Edward's weight now on it. He was sitting right next to me, his knee touching mine. I was focused on the exact spot where the black fabric of his jeans grazed the dark blue wash of mine.

"And these _feelings_…" Edward hedged. "Do you…_like_ me?"

I scowled at him jokingly. "Why don't you write that in a note with _check yes or no_ on it and pass it me in English class," I laughed. I couldn't help it. Was he serious? He really wasn't sure of my love for him? He _really_ must have been feeling guilty.

Good. I felt a sick satisfaction in knowing that, and I was not typically a spiteful person.

How strange. I was suddenly past the hurt and anger now -not that Edward needed to know that. I had reached the revenge stage. Was it revenge to not give in so easily and make him squirm just a little? Possibly. But then again, the spitefulness was rearing its ugly head and I figured that I was entitled to a little bit of maliciousness.

Edward smiled grudgingly. "Bella, you know how I feel. I love you. I would love for you to say it back to me, but I understand if you can't. I know I really made a mess of things, and I will do anything to earn back your love and respect. All I need to know is that you are willing to give me that chance." He was looking at me so earnestly. His expression was so heartrending. I was on the precipice of caving. But no, I had to stay strong. I mean, I didn't want to be completely mean to Edward, but I wanted to torture him just a little. Probably not even torture. _Tease_ was more accurate.

"Is it wrong to want to kiss you _and_ punch you at the same time?" I asked coyly, lifting my eyebrows and looking at him from under my lashes.

Edward smiled, shaking his head. "I'm hoping the kissing wins out."

That did it. Operation Torture Edward Cullen was on.

My mood brightened at the prospect of messing with Edward a little. It served him right for leaving and then not being sure of how I felt for him. And as if I weren't already excited about my decision to tease Edward, Alice's next text message made certain of it.

**I love how your mind works! Love you and see you soon!**

**A/N There it is. See, some of you thought she gave in too easily before, typical Bella, blah, blah, blah. MY Bella? Not as typical. Well, I wanted to still capture SM's Bella and then infuse her with...IDK, Badass Bella would be an accurate description, I guess. So here's where I need your feedback. Obviously, Bella's not going to make Edward suffer exactly like she had, BUT she can make things...uncomfortable for our boy. The possibilities are endless and I have a lot of ideas for what's coming up next, but my question to you, dear readers, is will it disappoint you if things took a smuttier turn? I am not promising lemons (not this early in the game anyway--it's just too early) but I know the mood of this fic was kind of dark at first, but it's shifting now. There will be more angst later, but I want to know how you feel about the smut. There's a poll up on my profile page for ATO so please check it out right after you review. Hey, did you know that I occasionally send out sneak peeks of the upcoming chapter? But ONLY if you review--and obviously not if you review anonymously, for I have no place to send it. So it pays to review! Thanks!**

**One more thing. Phantom-writer3739 wrote another one shot. I know, she's like a machine. You want a little smut? Then check it out. It's called:**** Discovery In Darkness**

**As Edward shows Bella around his cellar the power goes out. Problem? Bella doesn't like the dark. My submission for the exploration of the senses competition.**


	11. Tease

**A/N You know I'm not Stephenie Meyer so I don't own any of this stuff.**

**I have a few shout outs to make so bear with me. I want to welcome my girl Breyzie1478 back to the states. She'd been in Italy for a while. If you've been reading Chances Arethen I know you've missed her too. Pixie, I hope you are feeling better, and Laura...is your husband still alive? I keep seeing rather threatening posts on the FB. Lovee, hope this week is better than last for you. Cori, thanks for all the support and good luck with your studies. Indifferent 2, you know who you are, sharks rule! NOM NOM. And finally, Phantom and her betastic butt are back in Bahrain doing my evil bidding (how do you like my alliteration?)**

**Thanks for voting. The poll is coming down (some time, when I get to it), but teasing/torturing won hands down, you sadists. haha. And so, I give you the next installment. I was holding out for one more measly review though...eh, close enough. Such is life. GREAR.**

**Chapter 11: Tease**

**BPoV**

I shoved Edward for the _kissing wins out_ remark as I got up from the bed to look at the text, suppressing a smile as I read it. Alice approved of torturing Edward I guess.

I texted back a quick _thanks, _and she sent back a message saying that the documents should arrive at noon and that Edward should go to the desk to accept the package. And then another cryptic message:

**Work on your thoughts so Edward can see—wink wink**

I furrowed my brow wondering what she could be thinking about when it hit me. I sort of knew, in theory anyway, how Edward got a glimpse into my mind before. The whole pushing everything out except for the thoughts I wanted to keep. The ones I kept in my mind were the ones he'd seen and, presumably, would see if I did as Alice suggested.

Alice was suggesting I tease Edward with my thoughts, letting him see only certain things. Only certain thoughts being available coupled with Edward's frustration over not getting to hear anything normally, save for said certain thoughts, would make for some pretty good torture…I mean teasing.

It sounded like fun…_if_ I could pull it off. Who knew if I could open my mind up to him again? It had only happened the once and could easily have been a fluke. We'd been in the tranquility of the Apache Wilderness; no one else was around. It could have just been a consequence of being in the right place at the right time. Still, I could try again, this time on purpose.

But which thoughts should I tease him with? The possibilities were endless.

I loved Edward still; I'd never stopped, and I was offended he even questioned it. He would hear that…but just not yet. Not today. Maybe not for a long while.

I had all day here at the hotel with him, and then tonight we would hunt. The thought of watching Edward hunt excited me. I had always been curious about it, but he'd never allowed me to see him hunt when I was human. He'd proclaimed it too dangerous and I now understood why. We gave ourselves over to our instincts completely. However, now that I was a vampire…

Although he'd only taken down an elk the other night, watching him do it was really…hot. The way he moved so lithely and forcefully and then draining the animal…could hunting be sexy? I guess it was if Edward Cullen was doing the hunting. I licked my lips at the memory. Anticipation built in me; I'd get to see him hunt again very soon. Maybe he could even hunt _me_.

"Anything wrong?" Edward asked. He was watching me from where he still sat on the bed.

"Um, no. Just thinking about…hunting…later tonight—not humans obviously," I added because he was looking at me curiously. It was a very good thing that I could no longer blush. That would definitely come in handy with some of my torturous ideas. "Oh, Alice said that the package she sent should be here this afternoon."

Edward nodded in response, but he was still looking at me.

"What is it?" I asked. I had begun typing a text message to Jake. Hopefully he didn't still think I was mad at him. I was never mad at him, actually. Just annoyed. In any case, I wanted him to know I was still all right, no slip ups with humans.

"You haven't told me yet if you'll give me a chance," Edward reminded me.

I shrugged. "Well, I haven't thrown you out of here so…"

Edward smiled brightly and I pretended to be impervious to his charms, though, truth be told, his smile made most anything better.

I grabbed my journal and a pen from my backpack and sat on the floor with my back against the wall while facing Edward. I was going to doodle in my journal while I worked on opening my mind to Edward. I didn't want him to see that I wasn't really writing anything in the journal at all.

"Are we done talking?" he asked sounding a little disappointed.

"For now," I nodded as I answered. "Do you want to watch TV or something? Or I have my laptop if you wanted to use it. I have some games on it. They're just word games though, just so you know. No aliens or guns involved," I informed him. "You can see if you can beat my high score." I had played a lot of this particular word game where it gave you only three minutes to come up with words out of connecting tiles. When I was human, my high score was 144. The first time I played after the change, I scored 995. My high score was 1288. Being a vampire certainly did have its advantages.

"Sure," Edward answered.

I took my laptop out and handed it to him on the bed before returning to my spot on the floor.

"What are you writing?" Edward asked me when I picked my journal back up.

"Edward, it's a journal," I scolded.

"So you won't tell me?" he asked with a small, endearing pout.

"I believe that's the entire point of a journal," I said as I concentrated on pushing thoughts out while mindlessly doodling.

I heard him sigh out of frustration -well, I assumed it was frustration- as he opened up the game on the computer and began playing.

I was trying to think of what I wanted Edward to hear in my mind, if this worked to begin with. I wondered whether or not he'd tell me if he heard my thoughts. He did the one time before at Apache Creek. He was very shocked that he heard my thoughts of Charlie. That was benign enough a thought though. But if it were an inappropriate thought, I doubted that he'd admit to hearing it. But how intriguing if he did tell me the truth.

How to test the theory?

The kiss. That was a good thought to start with. I continued to doodle, keeping my eyes trained on the journal page as I pushed out the miscellaneous and extraneous thoughts that clouded my head, holding only onto the one of our kiss. I pictured Edward's face close to mine, his mouth mere centimeters from my own. I'd inhaled his sweet breath as he told me how he'd put up a fight if I ever did tell him to leave me alone. I so wanted to believe his words. His hands were on my face still and I'd been so overcome by the moment that I'd had to close the distance between his mouth and mine. I'd wound my fingers through his hair, pulling Edward closer to me. I relived the ecstasy of finally being able to kiss Edward the way I'd always wanted to. His tongue tasted so sweet. I'd never gotten to feel just how silky it was before. I'd explored his mouth with my own tongue, running it over his teeth without fear of injury. Then he'd moaned into my mouth, feeding the fire and urging for more. Heaven had been wrapped in that kiss.

I tried in vain for a while, most of the morning actually, losing concentration a lot, but then I finally succeeded. All the while when I was working on pushing the other thoughts out while remembering the kiss, I faintly heard the tapping of keys as Edward played the game on my laptop. I realized as I relived the very end of the kiss, right before I stopped kissing Edward and pushed on his chest, the tapping sounds had ceased. I was still doodling lazily in the journal but could feel Edward's gaze on me.

Had he heard?

I was nervous to look up at him right away so I actually wrote _**did he hear? **_in the journal, before nonchalantly sitting back against the wall and drawing my own gaze up toward the bed.

Edward was looking at me, just as I'd thought he would be. His mouth was slightly agape, and he had the look of awe in his eyes, similar to when he heard my thoughts of Charlie.

He'd heard alright.

I kept a poker face as I asked, "Did you beat my high score yet?"

**EPoV**

I had to shake my head slightly to regain some coherency. I'd _heard_ Bella again. I didn't know how, but I did. She was thinking about me. About the kiss. I felt her passion for me at the exact moment we'd kissed. I felt the pain and anger dissipate the moment lust had taken over. Bella…_lusted_ for me. At least for a moment when we kissed and again right then when she was remembering. I lied. Her self-control could only be rivaled by mine, not Carlisle's, for it took every ounce of my control not to go over to where Bella was on the floor and continue where we'd left off on the mountain.

It was painful. We were both in a position where we could love with abandon, but we couldn't…well…we _wouldn't_ because…because I was a complete fool.

Meanwhile, Bella was sitting so far away from me, cool as a cucumber, engrossed in whatever she was writing in her journal-I wondered if was about me at all- and I couldn't touch her.

Still, she was giving me a chance to make things up to her, to win back her love. She hadn't shut me out completely.

And if she was thinking about me like that, it had to mean she still wanted me. But she wouldn't say it. I couldn't pounce on her without her authorization. I wanted to, but I couldn't. I was a gentleman, after all. Unless she didn't want me to be one…

I wrestled with the thought of telling her that I'd heard her again. How would she feel about that? The Charlie thing was one thing, but this was rather personal. I didn't know how this thought slipped out without others accompanying it, and I didn't know if she had meant for me to hear it, but I wanted to hear more. I _needed_ to hear more.

Now was not the time for revelations however. "Um, no. Just taking a break. Mind if I take a look at the music in your computer?" I asked, hastily dissembling.

Bella shook her head no and went back to writing.

I scrolled through her music and looked at the _recently added_ category. Something I saw there stopped my breathing.

Bella added her lullaby to her music library. _Edward_ was the artist. She must have found the CD, the photographs and the airline tickets. She hadn't mentioned it.

I didn't know what came over me, but I started playing Bella's lullaby just to see her reaction.

She stopped writing for a moment without looking up at me.

"Can you stop playing that please?" she asked, her eyes were still fixed on her journal but there was a note of pain deep in her voice.

I hit stop. "Sure." It saddened me that she didn't want to hear her song, but I continued to watch Bella anyway.

"So, yeah, I found the things you hid," she commented. "What was that about?" Bella finally look up at me.

I shook my head. There really wasn't a good explanation for why I'd hidden her gifts and pictures aside from wanting to keep a piece of myself still close to Bella after I had left.

"I guess I was being…silly?" Silly worked well enough. Sentimental, maudlin, stupid, mawkish and sappy would all work too.

Bella narrowed her eyes and scowled at me. Crap! The death glare was back.

"I'm sorry," I added quickly.

She merely shrugged without saying a word.

I tried to find words to explain. "Bella...I…"

"How were your distractions?" she asked pointedly, interrupting me.

Damn! "Um, there were never really any distractions, Bella," I explained quietly. "It was part of the lie so that you'd…let me go more easily," I finished lamely.

"I see," she said coldly. "So you weren't distracted at all?"

I entertained the idea of telling Bella how I tried in vain to hunt Victoria, but I didn't want her to know what a dismal failure I was at it, obviously. I missed the mark entirely in the Victoria department. If I had been any kind of tracker I would have found her and destroyed her _before_ she ruined Bella's life any more than I had already. If only I'd known just how vengeful Victoria was. I hadn't given _her_ the credit she'd deserved either.

"No," I answered. "I mostly just curled up in a ball and let the misery take me. I missed you so much," I told her honestly. I'd been completely pathetic.

"Mmm," was all she had to say on the matter before returning her attention back to the journal. It seemed that Bella was done talking again for a while, which was okay with me for a change since it meant that I might possibly get another glimpse into her mind. It seemed to only occur when she was quiet and concentrating. As it was, I could only speculate on what was going through her head.

A sudden thought struck me. Alice told me that Bella had thought I was too distracted to go back to Forks. She wouldn't think that I would have been…_unfaithful_ to her would she? Of all the absurd notions…! As if another woman could have _ever _captured my attention.

"Bella, you _do _know that…" There was a knock on the door.

"Laundry," said a woman's voice from the other side of the door.

Bella's head shot up and her eyes widened in panic. This was the closest she'd been to a human since the cab driver and the concierge. She swallowed back venom.

"It's okay, Bella, I'll get the door," I said. "One moment please," I called toward the door as I got up from the bed.

"Wait," Bella said. In a split second she was at my side. "I want to try something."

"What is it?" I asked. I barely got the question out when I felt Bella pressing her body against mine. My breathing hitched and my mind was a whirl of sinful thoughts and desires. Thank god I had over a century of control to draw on.

"Stay very still," she told me. I nodded. "You can't move," she warned me.

I stood still as stone as Bella rose up on her tiptoes and tilted her face into the crook of my neck, her nose grazed the space between my collarbone and the base of my neck as she pulled in a deep breath. Then she moved her nose up my neck to behind my ear and took in another deep breath. I thought I was being electrocuted by the sensations she was giving me.

Then, just as quickly as she had approached me, she stepped away.

"Okay," she whispered to me. I still couldn't move. I was too stunned by what Bella had just done to me. It was torture not to be able to hold her or pull her to me or kiss her. She had been so close; I'd felt her every curve pressed into me. "You can get the door now, Edward," she told me in a firm tone, drawing my attention back to the door.

She was very, very lucky that I had enough will power not to jump her right then and there, or even give her a little taste of her own medicine.

"Right," I said, amazed my feet actually did what I wanted and walked me to the door.

"Hello. Here you go, Mr. Cullen," the woman said smiling as she came in holding the freshly laundered and folded pile of clothes in her arms. She nodded to Bella as she set the clothes down on top of the dresser. Bella gave her a tight smile back. "Did you need anything while I'm here?" she asked.

"No, thank you. Not right now, but we'll have more laundry tonight," I told her handing her a tip as she nodded and left. I wanted her out of there so that Bella could do again whatever it was she was trying out on me before.

By the time I closed the door and turned around, Bella had a hold of her clean clothes.

"That was actually really good timing. I can't wait to get out of these clothes," she said as she disappeared into the bathroom, leaving me discomfited once again as my mind filled with images of Bella in the shower. Of Bella and _me_ in the shower. Of Bella and me, in the shower, doing all the things I couldn't do when she was a fragile human…

What was she doing to me? Was she doing it on purpose? Getting me all hot and bothered and then bolting?

I heaved a frustrated sigh as I stood outside the bathroom door just as I had done the first night, trying to see or hear any of Bella's thoughts. I wasn't expecting to catch anything, but I tried just in case.

It paid to be persistent.

For exactly four and half seconds, I saw Bella's naked reflection in the bathroom mirror as she dried herself off with the white hotel towel. She looked down at…_dear god_…one of her breasts and must have noticed a piece of lint on her…_nipple_…and was trying to brush it off with her fingertips. I saw the peak harden from her touch, and she was thinking how it tickled but still felt kind of nice.

What would happen, I wondered, if I broke open this door and gave the little tease a demonstration of all the things that would feel _kind of nice…?_ I would have probably done it in a moment but for her voice calling me.

"Yes?" I answered a little too loudly. Or was it too eagerly?

"Um…can you help me with something?" she asked nervously.

_Oh yes, baby. I can help you with all sorts of things. _"Of course, Bella. What do you need?" Somehow I managed to keep my voice steady.

"Well, I sort of forgot to bring in my underwear." _WHAT?_ "Can you check in the pile of clothes?"

"Uh…sure," I replied. _Bella wasn't wearing underwear?_ My head was actually starting to spin. I went to check in the pile, a little _too _excited by the prospect of seeing her panties, but I couldn't find them. I shook out all the clothes that were left, but I got nothing.

"Bella, there aren't any here," I called to her.

"What?" she asked slightly horrified. "Are you sure?" She sounded dubious.

I had to chuckle. I couldn't make this stuff up. There was nothing I wanted more at the moment than to see her underwear. It would help me better imagine what she would look like if -_when_- we made love for the first time. So shy, biting her lip and clad only in…whatever lingerie she preferred. Except I had yet to discover what her preference was.

"Not here. Sorry," I said.

"Okay," she said quietly. "I guess I'll have to go without," she said under her breath, but of course I heard. And the thought sent another thrill through me.

A moment later, Bella stepped out of the bathroom, fully dressed but without any panties on under her jeans, a secret only she and I knew. I thought I was going to self-destruct from that knowledge. It would be so easy for me to touch and tease her in public and no one would ever know but her…

_Down boy!_

"Your turn?" Bella asked.

I barely articulated an affirmative response as I grabbed my clean clothes and made my way into the bathroom.

Once again, I filled my lungs up with the scent of Bella that still lingered in the bathroom. This time though, there was an area of concentration. I sniffed around and spied the pile of her old clothes on the floor. In the middle of that pile were her panties that she'd _just_ taken off. They were a light blue satin with what appeared to be a slightly darker blue hue in the crotch area…darker blue from wetness or moisture, and that was where her scent was concentrated.

I couldn't help myself. I picked them up and held them to my nose, taking in the scent of Bella's arousal.

She was killing me slowly without even doing anything at all it seemed.

Finally, I dropped her underwear after one last long whiff. I had a situation in my own pants that needed attending to.

I stepped in the tub and turned the water on the coldest I could get it. It didn't help of course. Unlike the cold shock it would be to humans it was just a change in temperature for me. I sighed and turned it up as hot as it would go. That didn't help either but it would be useful in what I was to do next.

This was going to be a long day and, although I didn't want to do it, I had to take care of my own release or else the day would be that much more unbearable.

There were times I'd had to do this when she was human. When I'd have to stop us, when our kissing and cuddling would get too dangerous…too dangerous for Bella that is. I never wanted to lose my control with her so we'd never progressed to anything more than kissing and hugging.

As I put shampoo in my hand and closed it around my raging hard on, I thought only of Bella. I closed my eyes, imagining Bella with her hands on me, sliding up and down my shaft, squeezing, licking, sucking, and grazing the skin with her teeth until I could hold out no longer. The heat of the water was the heat of friction, the heat of her mouth. The fantasy, a collage of moments I'd watched Bella licking and sucking at her food, licking the juice of strawberries or melted ice cream from my fingers, even sucking them sometimes. Never realizing her effect on me.

I moaned Bella's name as quietly as I could as I came into my own hand. I'd been so quiet that even if she was listening at the door, as I had been, she wouldn't have heard a thing.

I rested my forehead against the shower wall. I had to get myself together. I had to be patient. _Soon._ Soon, Bella would realize how much she still loved me in return. How we were made for each other. And, god and Bella willing, I could show her just how much I loved her. _Patience_. I could be a little more patient. I'd waited over a century to be with her, I could wait a little while longer.

Even if I desperately wanted to show her every little thing I'd learned about sexuality in that century.

I quickly dried myself off and redressed, bringing our old clothes out together and placing them in the chair for when the maid came back tonight.

Bella was lying on the bed, on top of the covers, arms folded behind her head just staring at the ceiling. I sat down at the bottom of the bed facing her. I leaned back on my hands so I could watch her, focusing on her mind in case it opened up to me again.

After a few minutes of silence and no thoughts from Bella whatsoever, I decided to ask her about before, when the maid had come.

"So what was that thing you were trying?" I kept my tone one of idle curiosity rather than showing her how completely aroused I'd been at her actions.

She gave me a wry smile. "Well, I was testing another theory. I was combating the bloodlust with…" she was biting her bottom lip in the most seductive way. "…your scent so I wouldn't want to kill her."

"Ah," I smiled. I liked her new theory. "And how did it work?"

"Pretty well," she answered brightly. "Um, was it okay? I'm sorry. I won't do it again if…"

"No, no, Bella!" I quickly assured her, not wanting her to stop doing it in the future. "It was fine with me. Better than fine actually." I had to smile at her. "Truth be told, I really enjoyed it." Bella returned my smile with a smirk of her own. "Except for…" Her face fell slightly so I wanted to finish my statement quickly. "I _really_ wanted to kiss you right then. I'm not apologizing for wanting that. I'm just letting you know."

"Oh yeah?" Bella asked as she sat up and then slowly crawled on all fours towards my end of the bed. Her eyes were fixed on me save for a split second when she glanced away, perhaps at the clock. I didn't know. I didn't care. Bella looked like she was ready to pounce on me.

"So when I did this…" She grazed her nose up and down my neck and inhaled my scent. "…and this…" She placed her nose behind my ear and pulled in another breath. "You liked it?" she whispered in my ear. Her breath actually tickled me.

"Mmhm," I said closing my eyes. When I could no longer feel her nose on my skin I opened my eyes only to find Bella's lips mere centimeters from mine again. I leaned in towards her but…

The phone rang causing Bella's head to twist away from mine in order to look at the phone. Damn! Just as we were about to kiss.

I got up to answer it. It was the concierge. The package from Alice had arrived.

I blew out another frustrated breath. Was the universe against us kissing?

"I'll be back, or did you want to go with me, Bella?" I asked.

"No, you go ahead," she told me. She was smiling a little. I wasn't sure if it was a regretful smile or one of amusement. Did she enjoy getting interrupted like that?

_Tease._

I was only gone about five minutes, and when I got back I was able to hear Bella's mind again even before I opened the door.

She was thinking about our time in the meadow the year before. Where we had confessed our feelings for each other. When and where my existence really began.

I felt the joy Bella felt when I held her that day. She wasn't afraid of me or the monster that I was. She felt…unworthy of me for some reason. She truly believed that she couldn't be enough for me. That thought pained me, but I also felt her love for me then. It was exciting and irrational and passionate all at once. Her feelings mirrored mine for her, of course. And then her thoughts flashed to that next morning when she woke to find me in the rocker in her room. My angel had woken up and run to me, jumping into my lap. She was amazed that I stayed and that I was real. She told me she loved me.

I needed to get inside to see Bella. But as soon as I slid the keycard and heard the click, Bella's thoughts vanished, and I got nothing again.

But I had seen enough. She had been conjuring up old memories. She wanted to relive them. Had she wanted me to see them? I hadn't let on that I had been hearing her off and on all day. I wondered again if I should tell her.

"Hey," she greeted me when I came in. She sounded caught off guard, like I had interrupted something, her reminiscing, I guess.

I sat down on the bed next to her. I had to tell her.

"Bella, I heard you again."

She looked at me curiously. "My mind?"

I nodded.

"When?"

"Just now. Before I came in and also off and on a few times today."

"What did you hear…or see?" she asked warily.

"The kiss at the top of Camelback."

"Uh-huh," she prodded for me to tell her more.

"And just now, you were remembering the meadow and the day after, in your bedroom."

Bella nodded calmly but her brow was furrowed.

"Anything else?" she asked.

I really didn't want to tell her, yet my traitorous mouth opened anyway. "Yes, um…well, it was when you were in the shower earlier. Well, it was _after_ you showered actually and you were drying yourself off and then you were…_touching_ yourself." I blew out a breath at the memory.

Bella opened her mouth to speak, but I beat her to it. "Please don't be embarrassed. I enjoyed every second of hearing your mind." _I enjoyed some of them a little too much. _"I love you, Bella, and I saw and _felt_ how much you loved me too. I hope that you still feel that way about me. I want you to know that the way you felt, how much you loved me that day in the meadow—yes, I felt it, Bella—I feel that about you times…is infinity being too dramatic?"

A small smile crept across her face. "Maybe just a little," she answered holding her thumb and pointer finger a quarter of an inch apart.

"And you've been driving me crazy all day. Did you know that?" I scolded teasingly.

"Oh? How so?" she asked coyly.

"Come on, Bella. With the memory of the kiss last night, and your nude form, you touching yourself, and then the whole underwear issue, and you leaving your old pair in the bathroom…and that prowling thing you did right before the phone rang…all that left me wanting you far more than is good for you."

"Really?" she asked brightly. She was trying to suppress a smug smile it seemed. "Good to know, but how do you explain your being able to hear me?"

I shrugged my shoulders and shook my head. "I really don't have any idea. But it seems to happen when you're quiet and concentrating."

She nodded while it appeared that she was weighing what I had just told her in her mind. Then she leaned in towards me and pressed her lips softly to mine. It was a chaste kiss, but I enjoyed it just the same. It ended far too quickly for my liking though. I had to struggle not to pull her back to me and unleash all my smoldering passion.

"Thanks," I said when Bella broke away. I had been waiting all morning for some kind of contact. Even if this contact wasn't the sort I'd craved it was still blissful.

"No, thank _you_," she replied. I wasn't sure why she was thanking me so I gave her a questioning look. "Everything worked."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Well, I kind of know how my mind opening thing works." My jaw dropped at her confession. "See, it's kind of a bitch to do, but…" She put up a finger telling me to wait a moment.

I waited and a couple minutes later, I _heard_ again.

_I have to push everything else out and only keep the thoughts I want you to see._

There was a thud. I dropped the big envelope that I brought up from the desk and then I couldn't hear Bella anymore.

Dammit! I'd broken her concentration.

"Oh, my IDs."

I reached down to pick the envelope back up and handed it to Bella.

I couldn't see the documents, but I watched Bella's reaction when she read them. She gasped, cupping a hand over her mouth, and her eyes glassed over like she would cry if she could.

"Bella, what? What is it?" I asked. I was concerned she didn't like what she saw.

Bella handed me her passport. In it was a picture of her, the human Bella, but it didn't have her name on it, obviously. I grinned, feeling warm all over.

"It's perfect, Edward. You don't mind do you?" I shook my head. Of course I didn't mind. "If I couldn't be Swan anymore, _this_ was what I would have chosen myself."

My eyes lit up and then burned with a new passion. Bella telling me that that was the name she would have chosen herself completely choked me up. As if I needed any more proof that we were perfect for each other.

I didn't wait for permission. If she didn't want me to kiss her, Bella would have to throw me off of her, and we both knew that she could very well do that.

I couldn't hold back. I lunged at her, pushing her down onto the bed so I could hover right above her right before I crushed my lips onto hers. To my delight, Bella kissed me back with all the passion and want that I had for her, entwining her fingers in my hair once again.

"I love you," I moaned into her mouth. I broke the kiss briefly to gage her reaction.

Bella had a wicked grin on her face. Quickly, she flipped us over so that now she was hovering over me.

"I love you too," she told me, causing my heart to soar. Bella lowered her head down to kiss me again, one chaste kiss. She then climbed off of me to pick up the papers we had sent scattering all over with our movement on the bed. "And I love the sound of _this_," she said smiling down at her new fake birth certificate.

I smiled as well. "Me too, Isabella Marie Masen."

**A/N Don't look at me like that. I told you it was too early for the lemons, but a little zest won't hurt anybody. Some of you had been wondering about Bella's new identity. ** **I hope I didn't disappoint. Coming up next, some more BPoV and some hunting, E & B style. Guess what's also coming up, kids? Classes. Yeah, boo! But I only have two left to complete the old master's so I just have to get through the fall here. Not sure what my workload is going to be like just yet, but you know how it is with school and work and family and life. I'll do my best to write, send (to phantom), and post because a few of you kind of like this story. I'll do what I can for you! In the meantime, you know what you can do for me. Click that button there and shoot me a line. Thanks!**


	12. The Hunt

**A/N You know I'm not Stephenie Meyer so I don't own any of this stuff. If any lines look or sound familiar, I think you know where they came from.**

**As always, Phantom is off the f'kin chain (you know I'm biting Carmelingunn's swag by using her coined Cussin' Day term--OMG Cussin' Day, that totally just seeped out of my unconscious. See what you've done to me, Car? Should I be proud or committed?). Anyhoo, here's the next installment. GREAR.**

**Chapter 12: The Hunt**

**BPoV**

Isabella Marie Masen. Edward's original surname. I really hadn't given any thought to what Alice would come up with for my new identification, but this, _this_ made me so happy.

Okay, so whenever I'd see Alice again I would kiss her for the fully stocked bathroom, throttle her for the Mr. and Mrs. Cullen crap, and then kiss her again for my new IDs, in that order.

"You remembered," Edward said. He was lightly stroking my back as he looked over my shoulder at the birth certificate.

"Of course," I replied, almost annoyed. How could I forget his name?

We looked at the documents for a few more seconds before I gathered them all up and placed them in my backpack, tucking them into the front of my journal.

When I stood back up and turned around, I found Edward sitting on the bed still, but he was staring at me, eyes burning, with a joyful smile stretching across his perfect face.

"What?" I asked, curious as to what had made him feel that way.

"You said it," he all but whispered, his eyes seemed to literally glow with happiness. I'd never seen them turn such a beautiful gold before.

"Yes, well," I shrugged. "It's not like it's breaking news, right? We don't have to alert the media or anything."

"Well, it's sort of breaking news to me," Edward countered.

I narrowed my gaze at him. "That's because you're…"

"What?" Edward asked with his eyes narrowed almost challengingly. "I'm what?"

"…a chump."

"I'm a chump?" he asked playfully.

"Yes, you're a chump, Edward, because I never stopped loving you in the first place."

He raised his eyebrows, looking dubious.

I sighed, realizing it was about time to give him some facts. "I was hurt and angry and very upset, yes, but I never stopped you know. And even if you leave again…"

Edward was in front of me in an instant, his hands gripping my shoulders tightly.

"Bella, I swear to you I will never…"

I shook my head and cut him off. "Don't. Don't promise me anything."

"I see," he said quietly, his head bowed in shame. "My promises mean nothing to you now. That's…fair." Sadness filled his tone as he turned his eyes away from me.

I felt utterly wretched. "Edward…I…"

"No, Bella," he interrupted me. "I understand. I know how much I've hurt you. It won't be easy for you to trust my word so quickly. It's a painful realization, but…"

"Edward," I interrupted again. "It's just that," I heaved a sigh. "Promises create hope, and hope…" I tried to think of the best way to put it. "Hope kicked my ass last time around."

I watched his expression turn more and more downtrodden. I felt slightly guilty for it, but I'd only told him the truth.

"What does this mean for us exactly?" Edward asked, fear evident in his tone. "I love you, Bella. I'm here to stay, but you don't really believe me, or at least you won't allow yourself to believe me. How do I prove to you that I meant what I said, that I won't leave you?"

I really didn't want his promises, or any promises from anyone for that matter. There weren't any guarantees on anything. I'd learned that the hard way. I was going to say that if Edward were to leave again I'd continue to love him, but this time I'd be better prepared. I wanted to believe him, of course. I wanted very much for him to be with me forever, but only if he really wanted to be. But no matter what happened, I was stronger, both physically and emotionally now, not that I had strived to be. It just came out of necessity, the emotional strength anyway, and then the physical strength was inevitable. It came automatically with being a vampire. I couldn't, and wouldn't, fall apart like I did before. Yes, it would hurt me immensely if he were to leave, but I'd have to deal with it somehow if it happened. I had already found the strength to decide to go on right before the train derailment. If Charlie could do it, then so could I. I was sick and tired of being weak, and vowed never to be like that again, with or without Edward.

I shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I just need to see you backing up your words with actions, like the saying, you know?"

Edward nodded. "I can do that, Bella," he told me. His voice was absolute. "I _will_ do that," he clarified, mostly to himself it sounded like.

"Okay then," I responded softly with a small nod of my head.

Edward was gazing intently into my eyes again, and I was hyper aware that his hands were still on my shoulders.

"_Okay then_ meaning…_we're_ all right? You're taking me back?" Edward asked just to be sure. There was a sparkle of hope in his eyes.

I nodded and almost smiled. Almost, because I had to add the one caveat. "For as long as you choose to be with me," I said holding back some emotion. I knew I had to be strong. I also knew it wouldn't be easy, and the chance of Edward leaving again was there. It may have only been a small chance, slim to none if I listened to his words, but there was a chance nonetheless. I wouldn't forget that, and I wouldn't delude myself ever again. But while he was still here with me, I would reap the full benefits of having Edward's company. It would have been wasteful not to.

I would just keep a little piece of me separate. A clear space in my head that was an Edward free zone. That way, if he ever left me again, I could retreat to that space in my head and continue to function. No one but Jasper would ever know of the agony I'd go through.

Edward pulled me in for a hug, and he buried his nose in my hair, taking a deep breath and heaving an audible sigh of relief.

"You don't know how happy you just made me, Bella. Thank you, love."

I returned his hug, wrapping my arms around his waist and squeezing tightly.

"There's nothing to thank me for, Edward," I told him. He had always had my heart.

I looked up at Edward just as he leaned down to brush his lips against mine. How I'd missed the feel of them. Though I'd kissed him a couple times already now, I hadn't analyzed the actual act thus far really. I'd only just reveled in the rapture of kissing Edward. But now, for some reason, I dissected the kiss, realizing the differences from when I was human.

For instance, instead of his lips being ice cold against my own, they were…warm wasn't correct enough a descriptor. At the risk of sounding like Goldilocks, his lips were just right. I couldn't feel a disparity in temperature anymore. He was also no longer holding back the pressure with which he held or kissed me. No injury could be incurred anymore.

Edward's tongue. I would never tire of its softness and sweetness. The taste of his tongue matched his scent. The way it caressed my own tongue sent shivers up and down my body. The way he smelled made my head swirl. He still had that effect on me, proving that it was all Edward and not the simple lack of oxygen.

One of my hands moved up his back and past his neck so I could grab a hold of his silky hair while the other hand found the hem if Edward's shirt, hiking it up a bit so I could touch the skin hidden underneath. His skin used to feel cold and marble-like, but now seemed perfectly normal. Human Bella must have felt so soft and frail to him, like I could have easily been snapped in two, which was entirely possible. I was surprised that I hadn't ever been injured, physically that is, by Edward from all the times he'd held me and shown affection towards me. It spoke volumes for his concern for me as well as his self-control.

My hands stayed where they were as I broke the kiss in order to take in Edward's scent again. I inhaled deeply at the base of his neck and again behind his ear, just as I did before.

"You don't know how incredible this feels, Bella," he breathed, his voice husky with a mixture of emotions I didn't dare put names to.

"What does?" I asked, not sure if he was referring to the kissing, the touching, or the sniffing.

"Everything," he answered. "Being here with you. Finally. This is amazing. You are amazing."

Edward's words, sweet and encouraging as they were, prompted me to hop up onto him and wrap my legs around his waist. Edward was alert enough to support me by cradling my bottom in his hands, pulling me towards him. We kissed some more as I ground my pelvis into his, feeling his arousal through the denim. I had never been able to feel him like this before. He was right. This was amazing.

I moaned into Edward's mouth this time, and he responded by pulling me harder into his erection grinding back into my core with his groin. I closed my eyes and threw my head back, exposing my neck for Edward to kiss and lick while he continued to thrust his pelvis into mine, pressing into me like I had only dreamed of him doing before when I was still human but wanting so much to push the boundaries of our physical relationship. He was rubbing into me in just the right way, creating just the right amount of friction to elicit small gasps and murmurs from me. My breathing came in almost embarrassing spurts, and it was all finally too much. All I could do was groan out Edward's name as my core tightened and then began to throb. I felt the pulses and waves of my climax spread throughout my body, tingling every square inch of me. I stopped moving altogether so I could revel in the pleasure that Edward had just given me, resting my head in the crook of his neck.

"Oh my god!" I moaned as we both attempted to regulate our breathing. I had never felt anything so wonderfully cathartic in all my life.

"You are so beautiful, Bella," Edward whispered, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear and then carrying me over to the bed and setting me down gently. He smiled his crooked smile at me. "Especially when you're coming just for me," he added, kissing me chastely on the lips.

I smiled at what he had just said to me and for the simple fact that I could no longer blush, because if I could have, I would have.

Edward seemed to have read my mind, though I did not open it up to him. He stroked my cheek with his thumb.

"I do miss your lovely blush, Bella, but I would gladly go without it as trade for what we just did, as well as all the other ways I want to please you." His voice was wicked but sincere.

I smiled widely, biting my bottom lip as I lay down on the bed on my side, pulling Edward down with me so we could face each other. I ran my fingers through his messy hair as I asked, "Oh yes? And which ways are those exactly?"

Edward's eyes were playful, and his mouth was formed in a half-smile, half-smirk as he answered. "I could tell you," he hedged, "but what was that you were saying earlier about actions speaking louder than words?"

I laughed as Edward threw my words back at me and his hand crept up my thigh, grazing my stomach, ribs, and barely outlining the curve of my breast. He stopped when he got to the base of my neck, where he had been kissing me before. His pointer finger traced the raised skin there, and I placed my hand on top of his.

All remnants of lust had left us both as Edward scrutinized my face with a tortured expression of his own.

"What is it?" I asked, touching his satin lips with my free hand and then trying to smooth out his furrowed brow.

"I feel so conflicted, Bella," he confessed.

"Welcome to my world," I replied. "What are you conflicted about?"

It took Edward a second to speak. "Is it really sick for me to feel really happy right now?" he asked. I smiled. I knew just how he felt. "I mean. I'm unbelievably sorry for…" he couldn't finish his sentence, but he caressed the scar on my neck. "But at the same time, I'm overjoyed about being here with you." Edward kissed my fingers that had found their way back to rest on his lips.

"Me too," I agreed with a rueful smile. He moved my hand so he could kiss me again gently on my lips.

"How…was…do you remember your change?" he asked. I could still feel his finger, underneath my hand, touching the scar there.

I shook my head. "I don't remember much. I only know what happened leading up to the bite and then a little bit right after, you know, the burning? Then I blacked out, and the rest is what Jake told me, though I don't think he told me the whole truth. I mean, he carried me far away so no one would hear me. I must have been screaming and writhing in pain right?"

"I'm sorry you had to face all that alone," Edward apologized quietly. "I'm sorry I was such an imbecile."

I smiled wistfully. "Yes, you were." I moved my fingers back to Edward's mouth so he could kiss them again. "But…it's toughened me up you know? Everything that's happened…" I sighed before finishing earnestly. "It all made me stronger," I nodded.

Edward pursed his lips to the side. "You were ready to live forever all alone," he stated.

"I still am," I told him looking straight into his eyes.

"You won't have to," Edward replied, shaking his head slightly.

I didn't want to argue. "Okay," I replied with a small smile.

"I love you," he said gravely, leaning in for another kiss.

"Me too," I answered.

**EPoV**

We spent the remainder of the afternoon in bed. Bella was curled up against me and I was content to hold her there.

Sometime in the mid-afternoon I asked her about her mind opening gift, at least I assumed it was a gift.

"So did you open your mind to me and show me those specific thoughts on purpose?"

Bella, who was still lying on her side facing me, gave me a sly smile.

"I wanted to practice and kind of mess with your head at the same time."

"It was torture," I grinned back at her.

She laughed at me. "Good. That was the point. It was fun though."

"I guess I deserved it," I acknowledged. She could have tortured me far worse than that I was sure. "Can you let me see all your thoughts all the time?"

Bella made a face. "I don't think so. It's difficult enough showing you what I've shown you. I wonder why that is?" Bella mused.

I thought for a moment. "You know, after the van incident last year, I was watching you, to see if you'd tell…you know, give us away, and you never did. You never cracked, even with all the kids at school hounding you about what happened."

"I wanted to protect you," she said.

"I know," I said kissing Bella's forehead. "So…perhaps this thing…"

"My mental muteness?" she interrupted me.

"Let's call it a mental shield," I suggested. Bella merely shrugged. "Perhaps the shield is all about self-preservation. You're protecting yourself. I wonder if it would transfer to others."

"You mean like I could protect other people's minds?" she asked sounding bewildered.

I shrugged. "You never know. It kind of reminds me Zafrina from the Amazon coven."

Bella eyes perked up. "Zafrina? That's who Alice told me to listen to when I get to the Amazon. Alice said Zafrina could help me with my gift. I had no idea what she was talking about."

I smiled and nodded in understanding. "Yes. She probably could. You should see Zafrina's gift. Actually, I don't know if it would work on you unless you did your mind opening thing to allow her to show you a vision. That would be interesting."

Bella kept looking at me strangely so I explained to her about Zafrina and her coven.

"Three vampires is considered a coven?" she asked when I told her how Zafrina was the leader or considered head vampire to Kachiri and Senna. She was also the only one of the three that was gifted. But to have Zafrina's gift was enough to protect the entire coven.

"I guess when I think of the word coven, I think of you guys and there are a lot of you. So Zafrina can create visions for you? Can she do it for more than one person at a time?" Bella was incredulous.

"Yes. Her illusions can leave you blind, well, if you were affected by them, that is. If she and her family were ever threatened, she could plant the visions, thereby blinding her foes and taking the advantage."

"Has she ever done that to you?"

I smiled. "Yes, but not out of protection. It was more for entertainment. Carlisle and Esme are quite fond of her illusions actually. She can start and stop them quite easily, mind you, she's had centuries of experience.

Bella nodded. "I am very intrigued by her. Is she vegetarian as well?" Bella asked hopefully.

I shook my head in the negative. Bella's face fell slightly.

"She's still very kind despite her diet of choice," I reassured her. "All three of them are. We vegetarians, remember, are in the minority as far as vampires go."

"Oh, yeah," Bella nodded as she snuggled in closer to me. "It's just that the majority of the vampires that I do know are vegetarians."

I stroked her hair as I rested my chin on top of her head.

"Will you hum me my lullaby?" she asked.

I smiled into her hair, happy she didn't hate her song anymore.

"Of course. Are you planning on going to sleep?" I joked.

"No," she said smacking my side. "I'm ready to hear it again."

"Of course, Bella." I couldn't deny her anything. "Will you open your mind?"

"Okay, if you're sure you want to hear this crap in my head."

"There's nothing I'd want more."

So we stayed there facing each other while I hummed and Bella let a few thoughts filter out.

I'd question her about some of them.

"You're going to throw out your toothbrush and toothpaste?" I asked.

"Yeah, I packed them. I don't know why. Out of habit I guess, but I have yet to use them. Venom must be a natural cleanser," she commented.

She also showed me thoughts about her excitement for reuniting with my family. She feared Alice making her over, not that she needed it ever, in my opinion. She also planned on giving Alice a kiss, throttling her little body and then giving her another kiss, in that order.

I asked her why.

"Stocked bathroom at your house for me to use, the Mr. and Mrs. Cullen crap here at the hotel, and then for my new name," Bella explained.

I smiled at the Mr. and Mrs. Cullen. "Perhaps one day soon," I mused. Bella merely looked at me curiously. I was dead serious.

Bella moved on to other thoughts. She couldn't wait to see Esme and Carlisle, of course. She loved them like parents, which made me ache for her more, reminding me that she lost all of hers.

"Esme and Carlisle love you like their daughter you know," I pointed out to her, eliciting a huge grin.

She also envisioned herself beating Emmett at arm wrestling and then picking him up over her head and spinning him around. That one made me laugh out loud.

Bella was a bit anxious about Rosalie. "She's mostly harmless," I told her. Rosalie would probably empathize with Bella, I thought. It was never Rosalie's choice to be one of us. She'd always envied Bella for her humanity.

And Jasper. She wondered how he'd react to her.

"He feels extremely guilty over what happened during your birthday party," I told her.

"He's not mad at me is he?" she asked, sounding concerned.

"Of course not, Bella." Jasper would be affronted at the thought. "He's afraid you're mad at him actually."

Bella made a face and shook her head. "I'm not. It wasn't his fault. I was the one who couldn't open a stupid present right." I pulled her tighter to me, wincing at the memory of that debacle of a night. It set a lot of wheels in motion for me. "At least I'm not a danger to myself anymore."

We were quiet for a few minutes. I thought Bella was done mind talking, but I caught a stray one.

Kiss me, Edward.

And so I did.

Around eight o'clock we decided to head out. We drove toward Apache Creek again. There were mountain lions out there that Bella said she actually craved. All I craved was watching her hunt again.

Still, it was nice to know she shared some of my preferences.

Right before we stepped out into the hallway from our room, Bella did the sniffing thing on me again, filling her lungs and head with my scent in order to keep the bloodlust at bay. I enjoyed it immensely, especially when she showed me her thoughts on how much my scent affected her. It came in second only to how much she affected me. Bella called me a liar and shoved me when I pointed that out to her.

Even though she felt pretty confident about her control at the hotel, we still waited for our own elevator car.

She held it together just fine through the lobby of the hotel, bringing my wrist up to her nose to sniff and kiss occasionally. I enjoyed that greatly as well. And to the innocent bystander, we just looked as if we were a young, affectionate couple in love rather than the bloodthirsty vampires that we were.

The drive to Apache Creek was relatively quiet. Bella did decide that she wanted to venture out the next evening with me to get acclimated to being around lots of people in one setting. We planned on going to a mall in Scottsdale. It was actually Bella's idea to go to the mall. I'd have to remember to tell Alice about that. She'd be proud as well as impressed. Bella figured if we were to be traveling, we'd need luggage to keep up the pretense so we could do a little shopping while she practiced not killing everyone.

We didn't drive all the way there. It was only a hundred miles away from Phoenix, but we didn't want to run the entire way either. I parked in a motel lot in a small town about thirty miles from the wilderness, and we ran the rest of the way. Bella didn't leave me behind like she had done before, for which I was grateful.

Once we got to the wilderness we walked around, trying to catch the scent of a mountain lion.

"You want me to catch you one?" Bella teased.

I chuckled. "You don't have to catch me one, but I'd love to watch you hunt again."

Bella quirked an eyebrow up at me.

I smirked. "You're pretty sexy when you hunt, love," I explained.

She rolled her eyes at my comment. "I could say the same thing about you, you know?"

Bella admitted that I was sexy? I had to smile at that.

"We could always share," I suggested. "Take turns?"

Bella made another face. "Have you ever shared a meal?"

I shook my head. "Never. But for you? I would."

"Thanks," Bella smiled. "You first."

I nodded as I went into hunter mode. There was a slight breeze wafting the scent of a lion toward us. It didn't take long for me to find him. Bella followed closely and quietly behind me, keeping her distance when I crouched before approaching and pouncing on the cat. I could have taken it down without a fight, but I thought I'd put on a little show for Bella by rolling with the mountain lion as I jumped on it. Then I snapped his neck and turned around to signal Bella to join me.

She did, and we stood on either side of the mountain lion, staring at each other as we each sunk our teeth into the animal's neck. I never took my eyes off of Bella, nor she off me, while we drank the mountain lion dry, our faces only a few inches away from each other. Just as Bella was done drinking, I winked at her, which distracted her just enough so that she dripped a little on the side of her mouth.

"No fair," she growled as she was about to wipe her face with the back of her hand, but I was too quick. I dropped the lion carcass and stopped Bella by grabbing her hands in mine just as I licked the little bit of fresh blood off of her.

Bella looked as if she was taken by surprise, which she probably was. I would have been embarrassed of my actions if I hadn't thought the idea of it was so hot. Besides, I was in vampire mode, and if the burning in Bella's eyes was any indication, then she hadn't objected to what I'd just done either. In fact, she slid her tongue out to taste the spot where my mouth had just been. It was still slightly wet with my venom.

"Thanks," she said.

"No. Thank you," I replied giving her a chaste kiss. "Now it's your turn."

Bella nodded in agreement and was off like a shot. I was hot on her trail but kept my own distance this time when she found a mountain lion even bigger than the one I had just hunted.

Bella crouched and sprang even more forcefully than she had done the first time I saw her hunt. It was incredible to see her small body take down a mountain lion bigger than she was. I thought we'd have to hunt a couple lions each, but this one that Bella found would be sufficient for the night. Bella didn't enjoy killing, as evidenced by her quiet yet automatic apology to the animal prior to snapping its neck, but when she had to, she made it count. She didn't want to hunt more than she needed to. Save for the bushel of rabbit incident her first time out, she only hunted one large animal at a time now.

I rather enjoyed hunting but I guess that's just a guy thing. The girls had never really been as enthusiastic as us during our hunting trips.

Bella turned to me to invite me to join her in draining her kill, which I gladly did. We resumed our positions on either side of the lion and eyed each other as we drank. It was strangely erotic.

I thought Bella would return the favor and try to distract me this time and lick me clean, but to my dismay, she didn't.

We quietly buried the carcass of the lion we had just drunk from and then went back to bury the other.

Once finished, we walked around the wilderness. After a while Bella hopped on my back, like she'd done on top of Camelback, and I carried her around, stealing kisses occasionally since she rested her chin on my shoulder.

We came upon a small clearing where Bella decided to hop down. Before I had time to miss the contact, though, she grabbed my hand and led us to a spot so we could sit and stargaze.

"I love how peaceful it is up here," Bella commented as she leaned back against me resting the back of her head on my shoulder. "Don't you? I know you must be grateful for a quiet mind right now."

I wrapped my arms around Bella.

"Yes and no. I think you know why." My words were a deliberate reminder, but I elaborated just in case she didn't get it. "I don't care about anyone else's thoughts. Just yours."

"Mmm," Bella nodded. "Maybe you'll hear something then," she said with a shrug.

I smiled knowing good and well Bella had something up her sleeve. I concentrated on her mind, but for half an hour I got nothing. I was going to give up and just enjoy holding her, but then I finally heard her.

_Do you think you could hunt me_? she asked tauntingly.

"I'm not that great at tracking, but I think I could find you, Bella."

_Game on_ was the last thing I heard as she turned her head to kiss me quickly and then broke away from my arms with a cackle, leaving me wondering which way she went.

I checked for Bella's scent, of course, and followed my nose. She was sneaky though. I didn't know where she went, but she left a trail of her scent for me, but it was in a zigzag pattern that went around in a big circle. I completely fell for it too. This was probably why I was such bad a tracker.

After going round and round for a while, I stood in what was probably the center of the circle that I had followed, looking around trying to figure out where to go next. Suddenly, I felt a gush of wind go by me ruffling up my already messy hair and then laughing maniacally.

Now, I knew Bella was fast, but I had no idea she could be this fast.

The next gush of wind nearly ripped my shirt clear off of me as Bella poked my ribs.

I caught a glimpse of her that time and followed her as best I could. I was practically on Bella's heels following her all over the wilderness. We were like a couple of school children playing tag, only we were running at such high speeds, we were practically undetectable to the human eye.

She stopped once and waited the two seconds for me to catch up to her. Bella smiled and allowed me to get close enough to her to kiss. And just as I closed my eyes and was leaning in for said kiss, I felt Bella's tongue briefly on my lips, licking from one side to the other and then taking off right after ruffling my hair, leaving me stunned once again. She had that effect on me still. I never knew what Bella was going to do next, and I loved that.

After another couple minutes of going around in another circle, I couldn't find Bella, though I found each of her socks and one shoe that belonged to her. She took them off to throw me off track. Too bad she didn't take off any other articles of clothing, though to my recollection, she didn't have much else to spare.

I wasn't really taking it seriously. One day, when I was stronger than her and we'd become more intimate, I'd play this game again. A vampire's animal instincts were very hard to suppress.

Suddenly, I heard her complain, "Oh, forget it!" as I felt Bella knock me down and roll me a couple times on the desert floor, just like I did with my mountain lion, before we came to a stop with Bella hovering right above me. "You suck at tracking, you know that?" Bella teased.

"I'm aware," I agreed dryly just as she leaned down to kiss me. Bella ran her tongue along my bottom lip and then she made her way to seek my tongue out as I granted entry to hers. The kiss only lasted a moment before Bella broke it.

"I don't think you are," she teased.

I narrowed my eyes jokingly at Bella and got her to kiss me once again. This time, I rolled us over again. Bella and I flipped four times on the hard ground, but it didn't bother us. At least, I didn't think it bothered us.

"Hey," Bella laughed. "You've gotten us both all dirty now. Okay, dirtier anyway. We're out of clothes you know. Well, not really, I guess if the chambermaid came to take our clothes, they'll be ready tomorrow. Still, I'm out of underwear -or had you forgotten?"

"Oh, no. I haven't forgotten. Believe me," I smirked at her. "Especially when we did what we did earlier today in the hotel room." With my vampire senses I could still smell her.

Bella smiled slightly, trying to keep a look of nonchalance. "Yes, that was…nice," she said feigning indifference.

"Just nice, huh?" I asked. "You wait then, Isabella. I'll show you nice," I warned jokingly. I had just noticed, then, that Bella's eyes no longer had the crimson rings around her irises. There was a distinct caramel color to them now. I smiled. She'd be happy to know this. I thought I'd keep it a secret until we got back to the hotel though.

"What?" she asked dubiously. "What's that smile for?"

"Nothing," I answered. "Are you ready to go back?" It was about three in the morning.

"Sure," she shrugged.

We retrieved Bella's other shoe before we ran back to the car.

It was a good thing Bella wasn't a vain person. She didn't check the mirrors once for her reflection as we drove back to Phoenix.

Bella sniffed me once again before we headed into the lobby, but she didn't have to inhale as deeply as before. She also tried breathing normally, but gave up on that and held her breath again since she seemed to be taking loud, shallow, and halting breaths that she thought drew more attention to her than just looking stiff and not breathing altogether.

Once we were in the elevator, which we had to ourselves once again, I took one for the team and distracted Bella from seeing her reflection in the stainless steel by kissing her the entire ride up to our floor and then picking her up and carrying her to the room. Yes, it was a tough job, but someone had to do it.

And that someone had better be me.

"What brought all this on?" Bella asked once we were in the room. "Not that I'm complaining," she added with a smile as she kicked off her shoes.

I shrugged. "Just making up for lost time, love."

"Okay, so to be continued after I shower. I'm all dusty," she complained making a face of disgust. "Oh, but I don't have any clothes to change into."

"I think there are robes somewhere," I said as I looked in the closet. "Yep." I grabbed one and took it into the bathroom to place on the sink for Bella. "Hey, Bella, will you come here?" I called to her.

"What is it?" she asked as she came over to me. I held my arms out to hug her.

"Nice eyes," I told her as I kissed the top of head.

Bella narrowed her eyes and punched my arm. "Don't make fun of my devil eyes, Cullen," she pouted. It was still a sore subject for her.

I smiled as I took her hand to pull her into the bathroom.

"Ready?" I asked her as I spun her shoulders around to face the mirror.

I laughed as Bella gasped loudly upon seeing her reflection. "Yes!" she squealed pumping her fist in victory.

"Devil eyes?" I murmured. "They look more like the eyes of an angel to me."

**A/N Yes, indeed. Well, sorry for not updating on ATO Wednesday, but as I told you, I cannot keep to a schedule, but at least you get this chapter before I leave tonight for the weekend for a seminar/workshop in Des Plaines, IL. I've got nothing started yet for the next chapter so I expect lots of reviews to come back to Sunday night if you want me to procrastinate on my reading assignment for class and write instead. So do me a solid and click on that review button would you? **


	13. Control

**A/N Nothing's changed. You know I don't own Twilight...or New Moon.**

**Did you see the extended trailer for NM yet? Woo Hoo *fans self* Talk about eye candy, right?**

**Life is crazy. School is crazy. You guys know how it is so I won't apologize again for not posting sooner. I know you, my loyal readers and reviewers, appreciate my efforts (but I'd still like to hear about it via a review haha). Oh, welcome readers from Twilighted. Chapter 2 still hasn't been posted over there. Can you believe it?**

**Phantom did outstandingly betastic work on this one so here's a big fat thanks to her. And now, I give you chapter 13 to GREAR.**

**Chapter 13: Control**

**BPoV**

I could vaguely see Edward's reflection in the mirror, an amused smile stretching his lips. For once, I didn't really care if he made fun of me or not. I'd never gazed into a mirror for very long before. I figured I could afford to be a little vain now, in order to make up for my lack of vanity during my human years. My eyes were golden! Well, sort of an orangey color actually. Similar to that of an owl's. Nevertheless, they weren't crimson and evil-looking anymore. I finally looked like I belonged with the Cullens.

"It's the little things, okay?" I said looking at Edward's reflection. My words, harsh and irritable, were belied by my pleased tone. I was far too happy to actually be aggravated.

"So I see," he smiled. "But you were beautiful even with your devil eyes, you know?"

I rolled my eyes and shook my head at his comment. He was such an outrageous flatterer.

"You were," Edward laughed as he wrapped his arms around my waist and placed a kiss on my neck. His lips lingered there while he inhaled my scent at the base of my neck and then behind my ear just as I had done to him. Watching him do that it in the mirror increased the sensations I was feeling throughout my body exponentially. My knees were about to buckle. I grabbed onto the counter for support.

How'd he do that to me?

"You okay?" Edward asked, grasping me tighter. The amusement, no longer contained in his expression, was now evident in his voice, leaving me slightly miffed. Considering how high I was flying due to this new development this was quite an achievement.

On closer examination of the emotion I came to the conclusion that it was his arrogance, his unwarranted egotism, that so bothered me. Yes, Edward had quite an effect on me, but he didn't have to be so entertained by it. I could do the same thing to him, or had he forgotten?

"I'm fine. I'd just like a shower is all," I said trying not to sound as breathless as I actually was. Luckily, my right hand had landed pretty close to the robe that Edward had just set down for me so it might have looked like I'd grabbed the counter on purpose. "I'm all dusty remember?" I asked as I turned around to face him.

Edward smiled wryly. "Oh yes, I remember." His eyes darkened, showing me exactly how well he was remembering. "I quite enjoyed rolling around on the ground with you. I never got a chance to thank you for starting that little game."

"Oh, I started it?" I asked in disbelief. "I believe you started it by flourishing when you took down your lion." Edward smiled sheepishly now. Like he had just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar but was trying to charm his way out of getting into trouble. "I'm on to you, Cullen," I said, narrowing my gaze at him.

I had to admit, it was Edward that planted the idea in my head to tackle him. He didn't need to do that with his lion. I knew he'd been showing off, and I'd enjoyed seeing it. It had made me wonder what it'd be like to do that with him or, better yet, to him. After all, I was all but indestructible now. I had to take advantage of that fact. He couldn't have done that with human Bella…he couldn't do a lot of things with human Bella, I realized. Things were so different now. While I still wanted him in the ways I did when I was human, we could actually do something about it now. I wasn't frail anymore. Edward didn't have to restrain himself. My body could take whatever Edward wanted to do to me.

I quickly scanned Edward's body, what I could see of it that close up, anyway. What I couldn't see I pressed my own body against. I recalled how aroused he was before when we had…done what we'd done, and I'd just realized I'd never returned the favor. I probably would have. Well, I would have done something, I just wasn't sure what that something would have been. In any case, we'd gotten into another conversation altogether, but now…

I'd felt Edward earlier, but I had never seen him before. I could feel him now, and I was more than a little curious.

Here we were. Both of us young and inexperienced.

Well, technically young and inexperienced in his case.

I recalled what Edward had said to me on the bed about all the ways he wanted to please me. I wanted to experience each and every one of those ways. They would fall into the category of reaping the full benefits of having Edward's company, right?

But then again, it could have been all talk. Edward was pretty old fashioned in his ways. Would he want to…well, I knew he wanted to, but would he actually do it? I wasn't sure. And then again, did I want to get this emotionally and physically attached to him again? Yes, it would have been wasteful not to, but what if…the future was just so uncertain. He could stay, just as he'd promised, but he could very well leave again. Did I want to take the chance? Did I want to give myself to him, totally and completely and risk losing him again? I needed to mull this over a bit longer.

On one hand he'd left before and could easily do so again, despite all reassurances to the contrary. After all, whatever the reason, he'd lied to me. He'd hurt me in the worst way possible and had arbitrarily condemned me to a lonely, loveless existence by his dismissal of my feelings. He'd acted arrogantly, chauvinistically, and, worst of all, superior. As if his being a vampire made him better qualified to make decisions as opposed to the poor little human girl.

But on the other hand…he seemed to have learned his lesson. And despite the absolute wrongness of his decision, it had been made to protect me. Wasn't it better to embrace life to the fullest, to take every advantage, to do everything I could so that, if the worst came to the worst, I would have no regrets?

"A shower. Right," Edward breathed. He met my pressure as he leaned into me.

I realized that this was the moment to make that choice.

I tilted my chin up and immediately felt his lips on mine. Edward gripped onto my waist and my hands were up on his shoulders pushing on him slightly, guiding him, as we continued kissing. I really didn't have to use much muscle work to get Edward to move while we made out. I was loads stronger than him still, at this point anyway. Finally, I broke the kiss and stepped back.

"Yes, a shower," I repeated. "Or perhaps a bath?" My expression was rueful as I closed the bathroom door. I had to chuckle slightly, though, at the look of sheer shock on Edward's face.

There would be plenty more moments for decision making in the future.

**EPoV**

My jaw dropped when I realized Bella was shutting the bathroom door right in my face. Suddenly, I heard the water turn on. She was seriously going to shower without me?

How'd this happen? We had been talking about a shower, and then we were kissing. Shower talk. Kissing. Then I remembered moving and kissing and moving and kissing and then no more kissing, just a door in the face.

I realized regretfully that this was fast becoming a tradition; me standing outside the door while she showered. But at least last time I'd been lucky enough, or perhaps privileged enough, to hear and see Bella. Perhaps I'd be just as lucky this time. After all, she'd set me up, hadn't she? I quite liked this Vixen Bella. She was very tempting, not to mention as sexy as hell. But if I didn't get to touch her soon I was going to self-combust. And what was with that look of regret she had given me when she closed the door?

I leaned my forehead against the door and my fingers gripped the frame. I was, once again, holding back from ripping the door right off the hinges while I listened hard to the goings-on on the other side of the door.

It was quiet again but I heard Bella step into the tub. I heard water sloshing around and minute bubbles breaking. She was taking a bubble bath.

Thanks to my vampire hearing and mind I could picture her perfectly, knew her exact position, knew that the water was now up to her stomach and gently lapping at her breasts, the little frothy bubbles clinging to the silky flesh, the soft popping giving away their position.

I had to wonder whether this was how the Daredevil felt. Able to pinpoint the slightest movements, to hear the 'see' by using the sound of rain on a woman's body, but never able to actually see it for himself, to have it confirmed.

I let out an audibly frustrated sigh as my vampire mind conjured up images of myself in the tub with her, but it was not to be.

My lady was a tease.

"Edward?" Bella asked sounding a little surprised. She must have heard me sigh. "Are you okay?"

"Yes," I answered quickly. _I could be better though._

"You don't sound that okay," she commented shrewdly.

I didn't answer.

"Let's talk," she suggested. I gave the door an incredulous look. "Come in," she said in response to my expression it seemed.

"Um…only if you want me to come in," I said, keeping my voice steady. Inwardly I was cursing myself. It was a perfectly clear invitation. She said "come in", she couldn't blame me for doing as she said.

"It's…fine," Bella answered with only a small indication of hesitance.

I didn't need a second invitation, though I did wonder how well my self-control would fare. I blew out a breath as I opened the door only to see her in the tub, just as I had imagined, but with bubbles now covering every inch of her save for her toes sticking up on the other end of the tub.

I wasn't sure what to do, what she would be comfortable with, so I just sat on the floor next to the tub against the wall facing Bella.

We stared at each other for an immeasurable moment, neither knowing where to start. I watched Bella chew on her bottom lip nervously, her beautiful eyes peering at me, studying me, in what was obviously meant to be an unobtrusive manner.

"Did I do something wrong?" I asked suddenly, bracing myself for… I didn't know what. Something bad, I guessed.

To my surprise, Bella shook her head no.

"Then why do I feel like I did?" I asked searching her face for some kind of clue. Something to tell me why she pushed me away just when we were so close to getting to the next level.

"Edward…" Bella started but I interrupted her, speaking in a rush.

"Bella, I know that I should be grateful that you're even talking to me at this point. I know what strides we've made in reparation of what I've destroyed in our relationship and your faith in me, but I thought that we were…" I wasn't sure how to put this without sounding crude or expectant. "…on the same page regarding our level of intimacy, especially because of what we did earlier today. But from your reaction I guess I was wrong. I'm being greedy, I know, but it's fine…" Not really, but I'd wait however long it took to be with my Bella. "I'm not going to push you. But just for the record? When you're ready you don't need to ask me, or agonize over how to approach me. I'm crazy for you, to have you –all of you." I knew Bella. She would have her doubts and fears. I needed to clear them up now so she didn't extend my agony more than necessary.

"You are?" she asked, sounding bewildered.

"Of course I am," I all but shouted at her. How could she think otherwise?

"For the record," she replied quietly, "I am too…I want to be with you. It's just that…" I steeled myself for the something bad I had been anticipating. "I just thought you were old fashioned…" Was that all? I almost laughed. "…and, I don't know, I thought you'd want to wait or something?"

She thought I wanted to wait? Not even a masochist would enjoy this agony of suspense and longing. The idea was laughable.

"Bella," I kneeled beside her on her end of the tub. "I have waited. I've waited over a century to be with you. I don't want to wait anymore. Well, I'll wait until you're ready, obviously. I love you." I leaned in and kissed her softly. "Was there anything else bothering you?" I asked pressing my forehead against hers. She didn't look that relieved yet.

"No, nothing new anyway," she hedged. "It's my own hang up, but I'm working through it," she nodded, I supposed, to reassure me.

I gazed at Bella curiously. Nothing new? I wondered what she meant by that, but then it hit me. She was still afraid I'd leave again. I could have felt angry or hurt that she doubted me, but then again, I had never walked in her shoes. I could only imagine the inner turmoil she was experiencing. She had said she was trying to reconcile the person I was now with the man that left her and hurt her. I couldn't expect her to just take me back so easily, to jump into bed with me just because our teenage selves were driven by our libidos.

I nodded in understanding. "I can wait until whenever you feel…the time is right. I'll always be here," I assured her. I wasn't sure if there was any use telling her again I wasn't going to leave. Bella would believe whatever she wanted to believe. I just needed to be patient.

"Thank you," Bella smiled slightly at me. "For being so understanding." Bella placed a soapy hand on my cheek, dripping bath water onto me. She closed her eyes and grimaced, but I merely laughed. "Sorry," Bella apologized.

"It's fine," I told her, ignoring the water soaking into my t-shirt.

"I love you too," she told me.

My heart soared, just as it always had and always would whenever I heard those words. "Thank you," I smiled at her as I leaned in for another kiss.

Bella then drew her feet back so the tops of her knees were peeking out of the bubbles. She moved her head as if to invite me in with her.

"Really?" I asked. I was definitely surprised.

"Well, I think we understand each other better now, and you're already all wet," she shrugged. "But only if you want to, of course."

I had my shirt off before she finished her sentence.

I started to unbutton and unzip my jeans, glancing at Bella to make sure she was still okay with this.

"I'll just…" she looked away without finishing what she had begun to say. I couldn't be sure, but Bella may have sneaked a quick peek at me just as I was getting into the tub. She was trying to hide a satisfied smile when I finally met her gaze as I sat opposite her in the tub. I couldn't help but feel smug about that. If I had tempted Bella half as much as she tempted me, I'd be pretty satisfied myself.

We didn't do anything of course. Not that I didn't want to. I didn't mind flirting or brushing up against her, but I knew enough to let Bella initiate anything more intimate than kissing. The ball was in her court now. I was taking my cues from her.

We didn't even stay in the tub that long anyway. We just talked. Bella did dare me to demonstrate how long I could keep my head under water, which would have been indefinitely, but she stopped me before I could actually do it, realizing I'd have been able to see her entire body if I'd have done it.

Damn her perspicacity.

Once the bubbles started disappearing, revealing more and more of Bella's skin, she decided bath time was over.

She asked me to look away as she got out, which I did obligingly. I did remind her, however, that I had already seen her the day before when she opened her mind to me.

"Well, try to forget what you saw then," she laughed as she ordered me to do the impossible. I laughed too. That wasn't likely to happen any time soon, with or without my perfect vampire memory, and we both knew that.

Bella put on the robe and then brought a towel to me, holding it open as she diverted her eyes from me while I got out of the tub.

"Thanks," I told her as I helped her wrap the towel around me waist. "And thanks for the bath."

"You're welcome," Bella smiled as she stood up on her toes to kiss me.

Once again, we spent the remainder of the morning and afternoon cuddled up on the bed, this time in the robes and watching TV, taking a break only to get dressed once the maid brought up our clean clothes and took our soiled ones again.

Much to Bella's chagrin, her underwear was missing again, and we had to believe it was no longer a funny coincidence.

I called the concierge to voice our disgust in the matter, not that he really could have done anything about it. I could always prowl around downstairs and find out who it was for myself –but that would mean leaving Bella alone for a while.

"Some pervert is taking my drawers," Bella complained. "Good thing we're going shopping soon, huh?"

"Quite. You're truly certain that you're ready for this?" I asked, my voice slipping into the cadences of my boyhood as it was wont to do whenever I was especially anxious.

Bella nodded. "I think so. I need to do this. To get used to people. Depending on how well I do, I think we can book a flight soon, don't you?" She sounded excited. She was really looking forward to seeing the family.

I hesitated for only a fraction of a second before agreeing. That miniscule moment was long enough to catch Bella's attention though. She didn't miss anything anymore. She gave me a curious look.

I shrugged. "I don't think I'm ready to share you with anyone yet," I confessed. It was the truth. I only just got to be with her, just her, again and would have to be around other vampires soon. Granted, most of the said vampires would be my family. That only gave me more incentive to make the most of my time alone with Bella now, for Alice and Esme would be all over Bella for sure.

Bella reached her arms around my waist and looked up at me.

"We still have tonight and tomorrow," she pointed out, to which I nodded.

"True," I conceded.

"And forever too, right?" she added with a wry smile.

Could a dead, frozen heart beat again? I was certain mine was racing. I almost lifted a hand to check but restrained myself. She acknowledged that she would have a future with me.

Finally!

"Absolutely," I assured her, placing a kiss on her forehead.

We remained in the room until it was six-thirty. It was still light out, but we weren't exposed to daylight since we parked in the garage at the hotel as well as at the mall. That left us about two and a half hours to get some shopping done. Alice would have been annoyed with the time constraint but, in Bella's opinion, it was more than enough time.

Bella allowed me to drive once again, but she decided that she'd like to drive on the way back. I agreed. I was actually curious to see how vampire Bella drove as compared to the cautious, law-abiding human Bella.

It only took us five minutes to get to Fashion Square Mall in Scottsdale.

The first order of business, after Bella got used to the human smell all around, was to buy some suitcases so we headed straight to an anchor store.

Bella held my hand, squeezing pretty hard at first when we got there, but her gripped lightened up considerably after we made the first purchase. She only needed to smell my wrist a couple of times and it was enough to stave off any bloodlust.

We decided to put the suitcases in the trunk of the rental car before we proceeded with any more shopping. I carried both suitcases while Bella walked along side me, window-shopping along the way.

We had been chatting about which store to stop at next as I closed the trunk of the car when Bella must have caught someone's scent. Another couple was walking right by us. I heard the man's mind. He was nervous about asking his girlfriend, Genevieve, to marry him, but then his thoughts turned to Bella when she caught his eye. He was frightened of her for some reason. Then I saw her face in his head. She looked hateful and murderous. He thought maybe she was going to mug them so he tried to scurry with his girlfriend into the mall without freaking Genevieve out. Then I heard Bella gasp as her head whipped in their direction, eyes narrowed like she was hunting.

"Edward," Bella hissed in a whispered panic. Her hands were balled into fists, and she had her eyes closed tightly now, swallowing back venom. She looked like she was struggling, fighting with herself about whether to make a move and go after them or not.

I was in front of her in an instant, cupping her face in my hands.

"Bella, you're doing great," I reassured her.

"Did you…smell him?" she asked between gulps.

I nodded. I smelled a lot of people though. The man was nothing special to me, not like…

"Bella, how do you feel? Are you in control right now?" I wondered if she had come across a person whose blood sang to her, like hers did to me.

"I feel like I need to go after him, Edward." Bella's voice was still panicked as she shook her head. "But I can't. I want to, but I can't. I can't," she added in another whisper, mostly to herself. "Don't let me kill him, Edward. Please," she begged.

"Bella, the fact that you are able to even discuss this speaks volumes about your control, love," I told her. I was truly amazed. We were even in a perfect setting, the parking garage, if things were to have gone badly. I would have tried to stop Bella if I could, but honestly, I would have helped her destroy any evidence had she given in to her instinct. To my astonishment, she was completely rational, as rational as one could be when faced with the most extreme kind of bloodlust imaginable.

"Let's go back to the hotel," I suggested. While Bella hadn't hunted down the man, she also hadn't moved or opened her eyes yet. I was about to pick her up and put her in the car, but Bella finally spoke again.

"No," she said, sounding absolutely resolved, stopping me in my tracks.

**BPoV**

"I can do this," I told Edward as calmly as I could. I finally opened my eyes. "If I can get through this…No, _when_ I get through this," I corrected myself. "Everything else will be a breeze."

Truly. I had gotten this far already. Granted, I had not felt as drawn to any person's blood as I was to that man's, but I hadn't gone after him yet. I wanted to though. I envisioned myself killing the woman first and then him. It would have only taken about five seconds to do so. I was about to go after them, actually, but Edward had slammed the trunk closed, sending a breeze wafting my way and snapping my mind back to clarity. That had been the closest I had gotten to murdering anyone. I felt so guilty for my near lapse in judgment and control.

Edward stared at me for a long time, studying my eyes. He looked tortured. I could tell he harbored much doubt, which he was afraid to voice, but I was resolved to go back into the mall. I was not going to go after that man. "I can do this, Edward," I promised. "No slip-ups."

"Bella…" Edward sounded so unsure. He started to waver. He was probably wondering what Carlisle would do in this exact scenario. Would Carlisle have let me go in? It was dangerous. I acknowledged that, but I really believed I could do this. I was determined.

"Edward," I said sounding as strong-minded as I felt. "I'm in control now. I promise I won't risk our future."

It was an immeasurable moment before he responded.

First he sighed. "I believe you, Bella, but Carlisle would kill me for even allowing this," he said softly and sounding regretful.

My face fell. He was right. This was far too risky. I was shooting the moon wasn't I? I was about ready to get into the car when Edward continued his thought.

"Stay next to me at all times, and if it looks close to getting dicey at all in there, Bella, I will throw you over my shoulder and we're bolting, you got that?"

My eyes lit up and I nodded my assent.

Edward took my hand and we started back toward the mall. "Still a danger magnet," he mumbled while shaking his head.

I took a long drag from his wrist and kissed the skin there.

"Did you happen to hear any of his thoughts?" I asked out of curiosity. I thought if I knew him a little better, it would make me want to kill him less.

Edward nodded. "I did, actually. He's about to propose to his girlfriend, Genevieve."

I nodded as well. "That's nice."

"Yes, and she, Genevieve, thinks she may be pregnant but she hasn't told him yet."

"Oh, good," I breathed. "Now I definitely won't kill him."

"That's it?" Edward asked sounding incredulous. "That's all it took for you to not go after him?"

I shrugged. "Well, I didn't really want to kill him anymore once I composed myself again, but the fact that he's going to be a husband and a dad seals the deal. He's got a future and people that depend on him. I can't take him away from them."

Edward looked both surprised and impressed at my reasoning.

"He did smell good though," I muttered as I took another whiff of Edward's wrist just as we entered the mall again. I stopped, though, so I could show Edward how good the man smelled to me. I concentrated for a minute. "See?"

Edward stared back at me in shock once again.

"No good?" I asked. I didn't think my mind had opened for him.

"Bella," Edward said sounding stern, perhaps angry. "He was what the Volturi call il tuo cantante. Someone whose blood sings to you."

"Why are you mad?" I asked, bewildered by his tone.

Edward shook his head. "I'm not upset, Bella. Far from it. I'm…at a loss. Carlisle will simply not believe this. This is…" Edward kept shaking his head in disbelief. "Unreal. Your control isn't natural. Alice was right. Again." Edward stood there with his furrowed brow, staring at me. "He didn't appeal to you to the extent that you appealed to me but…" he hesitated, as if debating whether or not to tell me something.

"What is it?" I asked.

He sighed. "I am not the only member of my family to have met a person like you. I told you this, remember?"

A dim memory flickered in my mind. "Emmett," I said, recalling that long ago discussion in the forest. He'd killed both his…singers? But one had smelled better than the other.

I shivered fearfully. Maybe this wasn't the best idea. Then I realized that if I left I might not be able to fly over to see the Cullens. To fly, I had to have faith in myself and in Edward's ability to stop me. Running away now was not an option.

"Come on," I said as I gave Edward's hand a tug. "We're losing time."

He didn't argue.

Once inside, we were bombarded by the human smell, but it barely fazed me anymore. The scent of the man had been so strong and alluring, these other people didn't appeal to me at all in comparison. His scent was so quickly ingrained in my memory, I could pinpoint where the man was in the mall now. I sniffed around, recalling the layout of Fashion Square through the haze of my human memory. I hadn't been back here for a couple of years, but it hadn't changed much. He was in the food court. I had to laugh. How apropos, but I honestly didn't feel as strong a need to go after him anymore, especially once I smelled Edward's wrist again and thought about the man's future and family.

"What is it?" Edward asked.

"He's in the food court," I chuckled.

Edward laughed too. "Nice. We're going this way then," he said pointing in the opposite direction. "Just to be safe."

We had about an hour and fifteen minutes to shop before the mall closed. We spent most of the time in Neiman Marcus, where we had purchased the suitcases earlier. It was a one-stop shop really. We knew which sizes to get so there was no need to try anything on. Besides, the clothes were mostly just for keeping up the traveling pretense. We needed something to put inside the suitcases. We each got a couple more pairs of jeans and shirts. Nothing fancy for me, of course, just t-shirts. I bought some sweats for old times sake and loaded up on the underwear and bras. Edward seemed to enjoy that portion of the shopping when we were in the women's intimates department. It was like he was committing to memory what I was picking out, size and colors.

We finished shopping and got back to the car, all without running into my almost dinner, which was a good thing for everyone involved.

"Here you go," Edward said as he handed me the keys to the rental. "You up for driving?"

I nodded, smiling widely. I was actually kind of excited to drive for the first time since my change. I wondered if I'd be a lunatic driver like Edward. Did that need for speed come automatically with being a vampire?

It didn't.

It seemed I wasn't a normal vampire in more ways than one.

"Really, Bella?" Edward asked sounding unimpressed and probably exasperated. "You're barely driving over the speed limit."

"Hey, I was raised to follow the law," I defended myself. The pace did chafe a little, especially knowing I could run faster than I was driving. But every time I considered going faster I could almost see Charlie's disapproving look, the disappointment in his eyes. It was as good a deterrent as any.

Edward merely laughed. "So you were this close to committing a homicide in the parking garage," he said holding his thumb and pointer finger a centimeter apart. "But going beyond 45 in a 40 mile per hour speed zone is out of the question," he mocked.

"Shut up," I sneered in feigned irritation as I slowed down even more. I hadn't taken us straight back to the hotel.

I parked once we got to the residential neighborhood. Everything looked exactly the same as I remembered it.

"Where are we?" Edward asked. He followed my gaze to the small house across the way.

"That's my old house," I answered quietly as I kept staring at the little ranch style home. I felt Edward's hand on mine, but he didn't say anything. He was silent and let me have a moment to myself to think about my parents. It was getting slightly easier. "I think they would have been proud of me as a vampire," I mused. "You know, if I couldn't be human anymore."

Edward smiled slightly. "I think you're right."

"Do you think of your parents often?" I asked.

Edward squeezed my hand. "I used to quite a bit, but, I'm ashamed to say, I don't think of them as frequently as I probably should," he answered. "I do miss them, but…I think they'd be happy that I've found such a loving family in Carlisle, Esme, and the others. They'd be glad that I'm not alone, and that I've found someone to love forever," he added giving my hand another squeeze. Edward turned to look at me. "They would have loved you, Bella," he told me quietly, some unrecognizable emotion flickering in his eyes.

"How do you know that?" I asked, my mind full of wistful longing. I wanted to believe that they would have approved of me, those long ago people who had brought him into the world, loved him and raised him to be the wonderful, thoughtful gentleman he'd become.

He shrugged casually as if the answer was the most obvious thing in the world. "Because _I_ love you," he answered simply as he leaned over to kiss me.

We stayed for a few more minutes. I then drove, at a snail's pace apparently, to show Edward my grade school and high school as well before heading back to the hotel.

We put some of our shopping bags inside the suitcases and then carried them and the rest of the bags up to the room with us. Everything could wait until the next day to be folded and packed away.

I texted Jake to tell him about not massacring all of Scottsdale. He was happy about there being no carnage, and told me that he and the guys got everything packed and placed in storage for me.

He also asked me how things were going with the a-hole.

I laughed and responded with,

**He's not so bad**

To which Jake responded with,

**See? I'm a genius.**

I could hear the smugness in his reply. I promptly told him I'd talk to him again later. There was no dealing with his inflated ego, and I didn't want to try.

Edward was closing my laptop as I put my phone down.

"We're all set to fly out in a day and a half at eight in the morning. We'll have to take a connecting flight from Miami and then we'll arrive in Quito, Ecuador by ten in the evening," he told me. "We'll be traveling an entire day, but we'll be in airports so it'll be fine as far as staying out of direct sunlight."

"Wow," I breathed. "This is really happening. So from Ecuador we'll head east to the Amazon?" Edward nodded. "And then I'll get to see everyone in few days after that?" I couldn't hide my glee.

Edward nodded again smiling along with me. My enthusiasm was contagious it seemed. "We'll be in Rio in about five or six days after we get to Ecuador, I'd say."

I was so happy to hear that, that I threw my arms around Edward's neck.

"Thank you!"

"You're welcome," he laughed, hugging me back. "But all I did was book the flight."

I shook my head fervently. "No, Edward. Thanks for everything today. Flight included, of course, but mostly thanks for believing in me back at the mall. I knew it was against your better judgment."

"Well, ultimately it came down to whether or not I wanted to bet against Alice. You know the answer to that dilemma as well as I do," he said smiling crookedly at me. "And honestly? Your control blows my mind."

I grimaced. "Well, I did almost kill him. I plotted it all out in my head and everything. I realize how you felt that first day with me. And I was so close to you in Biology too. Your control is amazing, Edward. I would have killed me if I were you."

Edward shook his head. "That was after decades of practice, Bella. And you know I've slipped up several times in the past. But I was pretty close to killing you too, you know. Don't diminish your control though. You're a newborn for god's sake. And you fly in the face of everything we know and think about newborns."

I studied Edward's earnest expression, not sure of how to respond. "Thanks?" Thanks was as good as any response, I guessed.

"Oh," Edward said, remembering something. "And I appreciate your finally acknowledging forever with me," he smiled. "It didn't escape my notice, and it also contributed to why we didn't just leave and come back here. You remained in control for me…for us. You don't know how happy that made me, Bella," he confessed as he reached for me.

I thought about what he'd said. Yes, I did acknowledge a future with Edward without even realizing it. All I knew was if I ended up killing everyone in sight there at the mall, it would have destroyed everything that Edward and his family had. I had to protect them, and in the process, I opened myself up to the idea of being with Edward.

For eternity.

**A/N Okay, there you go. I hope you enjoyed the little read. Please click below and say hello. I wanna hear from you. Yes, you and you and even you over there--the one who reads loyally, has me on all kinds of alerts and favorites list but has yet to say hi. Come on. Just send a "hi!" You don't even have to put in the exclamation point. I'm not picky.**


	14. More

**A/N Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I don't own a thing, obviously, since I'm not on a beach counting my money. **

**So, if you know my writing, you have an idea of what the title of this chapter implies. I was incoherent for much of this chapter so big ups to Phantom for deciphering my hieroglyphics. Oh yeah, if it's not clear to you, there's a lemon up in here so if you object, there's really nothing I can do for you. Wait till the next chapter? Move on to another story? There's perfectly good grass that could be watched growing. The rest of you sickos, half of you in Phantom's estimation and words, will "do a victory dance." You can let me know through your reviews to which half you belong.**

**And a quick shout out to my friend Julie, who has yet to create a profile, but has joined the crazy world of reading Twilight Fanfiction. We're breaking her cherry with ATO. Welcome, Jules! You need to review too! You're on notice, lady!**

**Chapter 14: More**

**EPoV**

Bella closed her eyes in order to concentrate -at least, I assumed so- while I kept my arms wrapped around her waist. My lips were mere inches from hers. I didn't question what Bella was trying to do. I knew what preceded her opening her mind to me now; she'd done it a handful of times already.

_I want nothing short of forever with you, Edward_.

I felt an instant high, and my mouth was on hers before Bella could even open her eyes to check if I'd heard. My tongue caressing her bottom lip was her answer, encouraging her own tongue. My hands lightly traversed her sides before finally resting on her rounded backside, cupping Bella's bottom and pulling her even closer to me while her fingers entangled themselves in my hair, twining and tugging as she moved sensuously against me.

I backed her up against the bed, our mouths never parting company as I placed her on the bed, positioning myself above her. I carefully hovered over her with my hands now on either side of her head, keeping my body a careful few inches away from hers.

I wanted to continue. Of course I wanted to. I was growing harder by the second. I was sure Bella could feel it just as I could smell her arousal. I had confessed to Bella how much I wanted to be with her, to make love to her, but I'd vowed to follow her lead, whenever she was ready. So I slowed down and finally, reluctantly broke the kiss, pulling my face back slightly to give Bella a little space and air.

Our mouths were apart for exactly five seconds before Bella grabbed the collar of my t-shirt and pulled my face back to hers, assaulting my lips with hers, tangling her tongue with mine, and bucking her hips toward my own. She clearly wanted to continue in the same vein.

I felt Bella's hands wander down my back and return the favor by cupping my ass, pushing my aching hard on into the juncture of her thighs. Using one hand to keep my hips firmly in place she then slid the other under the hem of my shirt and grazed the skin along my ribs and back. Her fingertips were exploring every bit of surface area they came into contact with, and before I knew what was even happening, Bella tore the t-shirt right off of me.

We stopped kissing for only a moment when I drew my head back to look at Bella once more. She looked just as surprised as I was. Bella bit her lip and gave me a small embarrassed smile. "Sorry," she whispered quickly.

"That's okay," I replied. "Can I do the same to yours?" I asked hopefully.

To my dismay, Bella shook her head no and as she sat up, I was forced to back away off of her. My face fell, but then I felt Bella's hands on mine, guiding them to the hem of her shirt, prompting me to pull the shirt up and over her head.

Once the shirt was off, I gazed at it and then Bella's face. I was definitely confused.

"That's Alice's shirt," Bella explained. "She'd probably shred you if you shredded it."

I chuckled in understanding. Bella thought of everything.

She winked at me. "I don't want her killing you now that you're mine again, Edward," Bella smiled.

I tossed the shirt aside so I could take a proper look at my Bella. I met her gaze. Her eyes were burning with want. My eyes moved from her golden eyes down to her pink full lips, slightly askew since Bella had her head tilted, regarding me with wonder.

I traced her jaw line with my fingers, dragging them down her neck at the base, where I touched the scar before kissing it softly. I then fingered the black strap of Bella's bra, following it down from her slender shoulder to where it blended into the lace of the bra itself. Bella gasped slightly when I circled her hardened nipple with my thumb. We were both kneeling on the bed now, bent at the knees, and Bella's knees parted even more when I lowered my mouth to taste the lace under where my thumb had just been. When Bella's legs parted, my free hand instinctually went to touch the fabric covering her core. I smirked, knowing she didn't have any underwear on. Bella hissed and then arched her back, pushing her breasts into my face. I inhaled deeply, drawing Bella's scent inside me, making it a part of me, a part of my soul. Hell, she was my soul. And then I heard Bella's mind again.

_Make love to me, Edward…Please_.

I pulled my face away once more to look Bella in the eye, to verify her request. She nodded in response to my unspoken question.

"Anything you want, love," I replied in a rough voice.

I brought my hands up to the middle of Bella's back as I kissed her again. I unhooked her bra and caressed the skin on her back that I had just exposed before pulling the loosened straps off her shoulders and then off of her body entirely. Bella lay back down as I tossed her bra aside. When I brought my eyes back to hers Bella was unbuttoning and unzipping her jeans and starting to shimmy out of them. I helped her take them off, pulling them down from her hips and down her thighs, revealing Bella's body to me. I planted open mouthed kisses on her chest and stomach, working my way all over to cover every centimeter of Bella's torso, including kissing and licking each of her hardened peaks. With every touch of my mouth to her skin, Bella writhed and arched and moaned, urging me on.

I tossed her jeans to the side and they joined the growing pile of discarded clothing on the floor beside the bed.

I straightened up so I could do the same with my jeans, but Bella was up and in front of me before I could undo the button.

"Can I?" she asked placing her hands atop mine and slowly, hungrily licking her lips.

I nodded my assent, taking my hands away from my jeans and placing them on Bella's shoulders and then her back as she pressed her body into mine, placing the same open mouthed kisses on me that I placed on her while she unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans, pulling them and my briefs down, freeing me and exposing the full extent of my arousal to her.

I inhaled sharply at the feeling of Bella's hands moving down my chest, tracing my nipples, kissing them, and moving down my stomach, outlining the planes of my muscles there with her dexterous fingers, always followed by her mouth.

I felt her right hand tighten around my shaft and move up and down from the base to the head, just as I had imagined she'd do. My breath came in a dangerous hiss, my hips jerking slightly when Bella moved to place her mouth on the head, sucking and licking the very tip before taking more of me into her mouth. I could feel the warmth and softness of the back of her throat while her other hand played with my balls and the skin between my legs causing me to writhe and shudder with each of her movements.

It felt every bit as wonderful as I had thought it would, but I had to keep it together. This was the first time for both of us, and I wanted to, no, I _needed_ to, please Bella first.

"Bella," I moaned as I grabbed a hold of her shoulders to pull her back up. The look of confusion and uncertainty on her face was almost heartbreaking.

"I'm sorry. Was that…not right?" she asked with wide eyes. If I wasn't so painfully aroused I might have laughed. Was she crazy? No, she was just Bella. Just as insecure as a vampire as when she'd been human. It was oddly endearing. It was good to know that, deep down, she was the same girl I'd fallen so deeply in love with.

"Bella," I whispered, stroking her hair. "That felt…" I searched for the words but was at a complete loss. "I can't even describe to you how it feels when your mouth is on me, but I want to make this special for you, love. I want to make you come for me again, this time with me inside of you, all right?"

Bella's breathing hitched upon hearing my words and she nodded her assent. I kissed her softly as I laid her down on her back and hovered over her again positioning myself at her entrance.

As I kissed Bella I let my right hand explore her body, feeling the lips at her entrance and then slipping a couple fingers inside. She was wet with desire and her hips bucked again when I pumped my fingers in and out of her a couple times, parting her legs even more for me, a blatant, irresistible invitation.

I removed my fingers, bringing them up to my nose to smell and then my lips to taste.

"Amazing," I said as I licked my lips. "Everything about you is amazing, Bella."

"Edward, please," she breathed, arching her body against mine. "I need you."

I nodded. "If you want me to stop, you need to let me know," I told her. This was our first time, but with Bella being a vampire now I wasn't sure if or how badly this would hurt, or if it would hurt her at all. Bella closed her eyes and nodded her consent.

I positioned myself again so that the head of my shaft had already slipped slightly inside Bella. Her hips twitched slightly toward mine and I slowly eased my way inside, pulling back out slightly and pushing more of myself into her until I was filling her completely. I thrusted rhythmically, in and out, moving my pelvis against Bella's, timing my plunges with Bella's moans. Or was she moaning in time with my thrusts?

Bella opened her eyes and gripped my biceps so I was able to watch her beautiful face and see all of her reactions. I wasn't sure if she wanted me to stop, but her legs wrapping around my waist and the heels of her feet pressing into my backside answered that question for me.

I continued to push into Bella, breathing her name when I felt her walls gripping me. Soon I felt Bella tense up, just as she had done right before she climaxed before.

"Oh my god, Edward," she cried, shuddering, giving in to the ecstasy.

The sound of Bella breathing my name, the look on her face, and feeling her from the inside as she reached her climax did me in. I plunged into her one last time before I too, tensed up and then pulsed and throbbed, releasing inside of her.

"Are you all right?" I asked, pressing my forehead to Bella's and kissing her lips softly.

She smiled. "Mmhm," she answered returning my pecks with some of her own. "I'm better than all right. You?"

"And I thought heaven was that smelly cab we rode here in." I shook my head, pursing my lips. "Not even close. Heaven is officially room 311 at the Fairmont in Scottsdale." I suddenly thought of a more accurate description of heaven but I refrained from mentioning it. It doesn't matter the century, some things just weren't fit for a lady's ears.

Bella's laugh was angelic, appropriate enough as angels seem to be a requisite for heavens. "You're ridiculous, Edward, but I love you anyway."

My heart turned over, as per usual. "Thank you. I love you too."

"Was that worth waiting a hundred or so years for?" Bella asked nervously after we got under the covers. Not that we were cold or anything, it just seemed like the thing to do. I wasn't ready to let her out of my arms, and, it seemed, Bella didn't want to leave them. That was just fine by me. I loved feeling her body against mine.

I smiled into her hair and pulled her tighter to me. Forget the sex; she was worth a hundred years of abstinence. A thousand even. "Absolutely, though I'm happy I don't have to wait anymore. That was everything I imagined it'd be and better. Was it worth the wait for you?"

Bella giggled. "Well, I should maybe feel bad for you since my wait wasn't nearly as long as yours…"

"But you don't," I finished for her.

"Nope, I really don't." Bella grinned widely at me. "Know why?" I didn't really care why as long as she kept smiling at me like that. Could one smile control an entire universe? I was sure Bella's could. It controlled my entire universe anyway.

"Enlighten me," I said as I tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear.

"Because now there's no more waiting…for either of us." Bella quirked her perfect eyebrow up at me.

"That is an excellent consolation," I agreed.

And when Bella said there was no more waiting, she really meant no more waiting.

Another perk to being a vampire? They never get tired.

**BPoV**

Making love with Edward was unequivocally the most sensual and satisfying thing that I had ever done, and something I could never in a billion years, if I walked this earth that long, regret, no matter what were to happen to us in the future. I had heard his promises of forever, felt the sincerity in those promises and experienced the tremendous amount of love and faith he had in me. I had given myself to Edward; mind, body, and soul, and I wanted to experience more of him. More of us, together, as one. Edward, it seemed, felt the same way. It was as if we couldn't get enough of each other. We couldn't love enough. There were no human barriers, such as fatigue or inability to perform, to stop us from physically expressing our love. Edward was correct. Room 311 was indeed heaven.

We had a day and half left alone together and we took full advantage. I was sure that I was the luckiest woman alive having gotten to experience my first time A-with Edward Cullen and B-as a vampire with Edward Cullen, another vampire. There was no pain and no fear of injury or pregnancy involved whatsoever. Was it fair to other women that I got to experience this form of hot vampire sex? Probably not, but that wasn't my fault was it? My assessment was right. My body could take whatever Edward wanted to do to it.

Oh, the things he did to it…

We did take time to pack and get ready for the flight. We practiced my control by riding in the elevator with actual people. I still wasn't able to breathe properly in their presence, but I didn't kill anyone either.

We were heading back down to check out of the hotel, go hunting one more time, and then go to the airport for our early morning flight when I asked Edward how he'd feel if I actually did slip up. I didn't think I ever would, but I was just curious to see what he'd do.

"I'd help you," he told me simply. He had to explain once I looked at him with much incredulity. "Everyone's entitled to a mistake or two." He shrugged. "Wouldn't you do the same for me?"

I'm not sure how long I regarded Edward with my mouth agape, but he had to call my name to grab my attention so that I'd get into the elevator with him and an older couple that was already there. I had no problem holding my breath that time since the old lady was wearing the most sickly sweet perfume and her husband reeked of Bengay. Not an appetizing mixture of scents. They were really cute though, holding each other's hands and smiling at Edward and me. The old lady said that we were a sweet looking couple. Between their friendliness and nauseating smells there was no way I was going to kill them.

"Yes," I told Edward once the old couple got off the elevator.

"Yes what?" Edward asked as he held the elevator door open for me. We were headed toward the lobby.

"Yes, I'd help you," I told him. We were talking too low for human ears to hear, but I still didn't feel right talking about things like this in front of them.

"It took you this long to think about whether you'd help me or not? Bella, you hurt me," he joked. "I would help you destroy all evidence like that." Edward snapped his fingers for emphasis.

I scowled at him but we were still being playful. "I didn't have to think about it that long," I muttered. "How'd you like the smell of that old couple?" I asked changing the subject.

Edward made a face and shook his head. So it wasn't just me that objected to their scent. "Not as good as you. Not even close."

"Should we go check out now?" I asked once we had gotten close to the front desk. "Edward?" We had been keeping our distance while we were talking.

Edward seemed distracted. He was looking over at the desk where the concierge that worked the first night we checked in, the one that referred to us as Mr. and Mrs. Cullen, was talking to another concierge who appeared to be taking over the shift.

"What is it?"

"That first concierge," Edward answered, tilting his head in their direction. "He's about to get fired for some shady behavior."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. We've found the culprit to the missing underwear caper. He's been stealing other women's delicates. Not just yours. He's got over thirty pairs, including an old lady's. Possibly the one we were riding in the elevator with."

I curled my lip upon learning this. I couldn't hide my disdain.

"Do you want to get your underwear back?" Edward asked.

I quickly shook my head no. "Yuck! Not after he's touched them." I shuddered. What a pervert! "Let's just get out of here."

It was a lovely hotel. It was quite fancy actually, and it held many memories for me already of my fairly new life. The panty snatcher mystery was the only downside.

I stayed where I was with the luggage while Edward checked us out of the hotel. It sounded like we got a bit of a discount due to our underwear aggravation.

Once we left the hotel, we drove to the hotel where we left the car the other night when we hunted. I didn't really feel too thirsty, but I knew we needed to play it safe so we ran to Apache Creek one last time and hunted quickly, each taking down another mountain lion each. We then filled up the gas tank of the rental car and then stopped by Camelback Mountain one more time upon my request. I was probably never going to be back in Arizona ever again so I wanted one last trip up the mountain. I was going to suggest that we race up to the top again, but Edward wanted to throw me over his shoulder and run us both up since he didn't get to do that when we were at the mall before. I wouldn't let him though. I wanted to try something else.

"You know you have a superhero complex?" I asked him.

"Do I?" Edward replied with a quirked eyebrow.

I nodded. "You do. And do you recall me telling you last year that I didn't want to be Lois Lane all the time? I'd like to be Superman too, you know."

"What are you suggesting, Bella?" Edward asked dubiously.

I grinned and patted my shoulder. "Hop on."

Edward only looked at me in disbelief. I stared right back without cracking wise.

"You're serious?"

I nodded. Edward was still hesitant. "Come on. Please?" I whined a little. "I probably won't ever get to do this again ever. This is probably the only time I'll be stronger than you. Please?"

I knew Edward didn't really want to, but he gave in. "This doesn't leave the state, okay?"

I laughed thinking about what Emmett or Jasper would say if they'd ever find out.

I nodded. "You have my word."

Edward studied my face, possibly questioning my sincerity in the matter, but he ultimately must have been satisfied because he did hop on my back, wrapping his arms around my neck. It was a little awkward, but Edward wasn't heavy or anything. It took me about five minutes to get to the top, but it was mostly because all the laughing I did slowed me down. Edward was muttering things like, "This is ridiculous" or "Unbelievable" on the trip up as well. He wasn't irritated. Just embarrassed, which was highly entertaining.

We didn't stay long at the top since we still needed to return the car and go through security at the airport. We merely stargazed for a bit and talked about our game plan for the international flight. I worried about the chances of my singer or perhaps even another one being on the same flights as ours.

Edward decided that we'd probably figure it out when we were at the gate before boarding if someone truly appealed to either of us, and if that were to happen, we simply wouldn't board and we'd take the next flight out that would land at night time in Ecuador.

Luckily, we didn't have to go with Plan B. The people on the same flight as us were not close to smelling very good to me or to Edward for that matter. While we waited, Edward was telling me about the people on our flight, little things that were going through their minds so I'd get to know them on a personal level, just like we did with my singer and his girlfriend at Fashion Square Mall.

Security had been a breeze. I was a little nervous about my new identification, but I wasn't questioned about a thing. Edward had coached me to smile whenever it seemed like the authorities looked like they questioned anything. He actually coached me on how to dazzle people. It worked like a charm.

I should have been annoyed that he had booked first class seats for us, but I had to admit, our seats were quite comfortable, and no one bothered us up there. The smell in the cabin was concentrated and strong, but I held my breath for most of the flight to Miami and then to Ecuador. I got to stay close to Edward smelling him and kissing him as often as I wanted and needed to while he read people's minds and told me all about them in order to distract me from any bloodlust. On occasion I'd open my mind to him, so I could practice doing it and also because Edward really enjoyed hearing my mind, no matter how mundane or trivial my thoughts could be. We'd play a game of fill in the blank so I'd know if he'd heard me or not.

_Hungry like the…_

"Wolf."

_When it rains, it…_

"Pours."

"_Your sex is…"_

"On fire."

And so it went until we finally landed in Quito.

_We're here._

Edward hesitated. "I don't know that one," he stated with a furrowed brow.

I had to laugh. "No, Edward. We're finally in Ecuador. The game is on pause."

First order of business was getting to the Amazon and then in less than a week, I'd get to see the family. I was beyond excited.

**A/N So yeah, I don't have my euphemisms to hide behind so there's no "ambassador" or "boys" mentioned here. It was, therefore, tougher to write this lemon. Edward needed a little play though. Okay, click below and send me your thoughts on this, love and life in general, or any issues regarding education that you think needs more attention and research. All right, the last one is part of my homework. But if you have any suggestions on research topics I'm all ears. Elephant shoe, guys! (I went way back to the vault of Saving Me for that one!)**


	15. The Amazon

**A/N I don't own Twilight or New Moon except for tattered copies of each, just like you, right?**

**Well, I don't know if you've been looking forward to this next chapter, but here it is. Phantom prettied it up for me so a big thanks goes to her. And thanks to everyone favoriting this story and putting it and me on alert. I appreciate it. Oh, I have to say hi to Eidelweiss. I stole her from Twilighted because she was impatient to read more and there are only two chapters posted there. Welcome to FF! Anybody else over here from Twilighted? Holler at me.**

**Anyhoo, I hope you guys enjoy this next one. GREAR please.**

**Chapter 15: The Amazon**

**BPoV**

Our goal, once we landed in Quito, was to head east toward the tropical rainforest where, obviously, it was significantly less populated, and then travel through Peru toward the Amazon in Brazil. It was a little annoying traveling with a suitcase each, no matter how small the suitcases were, especially going over mountains and around volcanoes, but we managed fairly well.

After having been so close to humans in the enclosed space of an aircraft cabin without doing any damage, facing the populace of Ecuador was not a problem, though I didn't have time to even worry about bloodlust since we left Quito as soon as we could, taking full advantage of landing at night.

It didn't take too long to actually reach Brazil once we got to the cover and protection of the rainforest. We were able to keep moving even during the day, and since we were both so fast, Edward and I were in Brazil, following the Amazon River, by nightfall.

We hadn't talked much when we had been in Ecuador. Our mission then had been to get out of the crowded cities and into the safety of forest where we'd be both covered and away from humans.

Mission accomplished.

Now that we were in Brazil we were practically ready for the family reunion. At least, I was. But first, I really wanted to meet Zafrina and her coven. Both Alice and Edward had intrigued me with stories about her power and how she might be able to help me with my gift. I was slightly apprehensive about spending time with non-vegetarian vampires though. I hoped they wouldn't have to hunt while we were with them.

We were finally able to slow down and I took a proper look around us. Everything about the Amazon River and the rainforest was spectacular and could only be described in superlatives. It was the biggest river I'd ever seen. The forest, full of diverse vegetation, was also the greenest I'd seen. I'd thought Forks was the greenest place ever when I had returned to live with Charlie. But truly, Forks was nothing compared to the shockingly vibrant shades of the Amazon. I almost laughed out loud at myself, marveling at my naïveté and lack of imagination.

And the wildlife! I knew it was there. I heard the songs and calls of parrots, macaws, toucans, and more species of birds than I could possibly comprehend, or even put a name to, and I was sure there were larger animals all around. I had read about them. Capybaras, tapir, sloths, squirrel monkeys, red howler monkeys, I could smell them, but I did not see them. They probably sensed us too, and instinctively ran for cover and protection from deadly hunters such as ourselves. Mosquitoes didn't even bother us.

Not that their pathetic, fragile proboscises could ever penetrate our steely skin. Not that we had any blood for them to suck.

Then I caught the scent of something…big. I looked over at Edward and he smelled it too. It was a large cat of some sort.

"Jaguar," Edward smirked at me knowingly.

"Will that be the specialty of the rainforest?" I asked as if we were at a five star, gourmet restaurant. I swallowed back some venom. "Ever have it?"

Edward nodded. "If you like mountain lion, you're going to love jaguar," he grinned.

"Looking forward to it," I said smiling back.

"Follow me," Edward ordered. He was looking around just as I had been, but he looked like he knew where he was going.

"I can't smell the jaguar anymore," I commented, wondering why Edward was leading us away from our prey.

"We can hunt later," he replied. "I want to show you something."

We hiked for a few miles through some thick vegetation until we came upon a waterfall. Being from the desert, I hadn't had much experience with waterfalls, none at all actually, except for pictures I'd seen of Niagra Falls, so really I wasn't anywhere close to being an authority on them, but this was the most spectacular waterfall I'd ever laid eyes on. Edward held some brush out of my way so I could get a better view.

I tossed my suitcase and backpack to the side when I got a full view of the water. My jaw dropped. There were simply no words to adequately describe just how beautiful and magnificent the natural wonder before me was.

"Nice, huh?" Edward asked as he snaked his arms around my waist and rested his chin on my shoulder.

"Not bad," I commented with a shrug, trying in vain to stifle a smile. Edward chuckled and then so did I. "It's pretty incredible, actually. How do you know about this?" I turned my face to brush my lips against his before gazing back at the water.

"I've been here a few times in the past century. It's a good place to think."

"Yes, I've often wished I could escape to the Amazon for some quiet contemplation," I joked. It was still surreal to me how Edward's life, now my life, was. To easily travel from one exotic locale to another. To not have to be anywhere at all. No chores, no homework, no job. We could just…be. This was my life now. Amazing.

"See," Edward said. "You're doing it now, aren't you?"

I smiled. "You caught me." Edward picked up my backpack and held the straps out for me to put it back on and then handed me my suitcase, which I held under one arm while taking his hand with my free hand. "Now where are we going?"

"To the secret spot where you can do your quiet contemplation."

I hiked along side Edward to a place behind the waterfall. There was so much water falling at such a high rate, it created a curtain all around us. I could barely see the rest of the forest on the other side of the fall.

We put our bags down on the prominent flat rocks that created the perfect little sanctuary on which to sit and relax. There we were, with the rocky cliff behind us and the water falling before us. Between our rocky perch and the waterfall was a small lagoon. We were in a little pocket of paradise somewhere in the Amazon Rainforest.

"Edward, this place is so amazing," I whispered. The water hitting the rocks was pretty loud, but I knew Edward could hear me. "Let's never leave."

I heard him laughing behind me. I turned to look at him. "I'm serious." We didn't need shelter or cars or TV. The wildlife around us was enough to sustain us indefinitely.

"Stuck in paradise with a beautiful woman," Edward mused as he held his arms out for me. I eagerly entered into his waiting embrace, wrapping my arms around him. "I could do a lot worse."

I slipped my arms underneath Edward's shirt as I looked up smiling at him.

"Yes, I could definitely do so much worse," he reiterated quietly before pressing his lips fiercely against mine. We hadn't had any physical contact since we'd left Arizona. We kissed and snuggled on the plane, of course, but, obviously, we weren't intimate up there. All of our efforts, once we landed in Ecuador, were focused on the task at hand—getting out of the populated area—that we hadn't had the time or the opportunity to ravage each other as we had in room 311, which I missed dearly already. I had given myself to Edward completely and unconditionally there, and he to me. The physical love that we'd shared, and hoped to continue to share, was merely a way to express how much I truly cared for and loved Edward when words fell absurdly short and simply were not enough anymore.

I was ready for the next part of our journey too…but first, a detour…

I kissed him back with the same vigor and force and found myself curling my hands over Edward's shoulders and pulling myself up, wrapping my legs around his waist as he supported my weight with his arms. I freed my hands from Edward's where they were and wound them around his hair, greedily pulling and tugging on the silky strands to the rhythm of his tongue stroking mine. A small moan escaping Edward's mouth and caused a break in the kiss.

"Mmm. I've been dying to kiss you since we've landed," he moaned.

I stifled a giggle and quirked an eyebrow up at him. "Dying?"

He chuckled a little, too, at his word choice. "You know what I mean. Want to go for a swim?" Edward asked as he stole a few more kisses.

I instinctively looked around knowing good and well that we were in a secluded spot. "Okay." I didn't have a suit, but something told me I wouldn't need one anyway.

I watched as Edward took his shirt off, smiling when his perfect chest was exposed to me. He unbuttoned his jeans, but before he unzipped them or pulled them down, Edward met my gaze questioningly, pointedly, so I took my t-shirt off as well. Edward gave me an appraising smile and a nod. He then removed his shoes, socks, and jeans and stared back at me.

Our game of quid pro quo was continued. I kicked my shoes and socks off as well but Edward was in front of me in an instant fingering the skin just underneath the waistband of my jeans before he undid the button and zipper and pushed them down. I quickly stepped out of them. Clad in only my bra and panties, I grabbed Edward's hand and led him over to the water. I was suddenly warm all over, feeling his eyes roaming my body. I looked over my shoulder to check, and Edward's eyes were simply smoldering, and I couldn't help the wetness of my arousal to escape. I heard a low growl rumble from Edward's chest. My want for him had clearly not gone unnoticed.

I smiled as I let go of Edward's hand and stepped into the lagoon. The water might have felt cold to any human, but it seemed like the perfect temperature to a being that could tolerate the extremes of temperature and remain unharmed by exposure to either arctic chill or burning heat.

I got in to where the water was covering my entire body up to my neck and shoulders. I jumped up once and dunked my head under the water. When I came back up, Edward was still standing on the rocks looking down at me as I pushed my hair off of my face.

"Aren't you coming in?" I asked when I began to swim backwards, watching him watch me. "This was your idea."

"I'm enjoying the view from here, actually," he replied cockily.

My eyes roamed to his crotch, smirking myself when I spied his apparent hardness. "Me too," I replied. Edward's eyes darkened even more, as if that were possible. "But…" I continued. I touched my feet to the floor of the lagoon. The water was deep enough to where it only exposed my head. I smirked as I busied my hands under the water, taking off my underwear and unhooking my bra.

"…Isn't there anything I can do to entice you into the water with me?" I asked coyly, looking at him from under my eyelashes as I let go of my garments so they floated to the top of the water and away from me.

Edward's eyes were on fire, narrowing infinitesimally. The next thing I knew, there was a huge splash, and he was in the water in front of me in a fraction of a second. The water only came up to his chest, but he bent his knees so that his face was even with mine. I immediately felt Edward's hands on my waist pulling me closer to him so I grabbed the waistband of his boxer briefs in turn. My lips found Edward's again as I slowly inched his underwear down as far as I could. Edward let go of me only long enough to finish the taking his boxer briefs off the rest of the way himself, allowing them to float up and away as well.

I smiled against his lips as a wicked thought hit me. Edward looked at me, looking a little perplexed by the expression on my face. I kissed Edward quickly, stroking the length of him once, before pushing off of him with my feet, floating backwards away from him and then swimming into even deeper water, but he was in hot pursuit swimming towards me with an evil glint in his eyes. I laughed and dove under water, putting my ability to hold my breath indefinitely into use, swimming right by Edward a few times, poking him in his ribs and smacking his bare behind.

That did it. Edward was underwater now, coming after me. If I hadn't been so amused and completely confident in the knowledge that he wouldn't hurt me, I would have been afraid of the look on Edward's face as I continued to swim away from him. He caught up to me, well; I let him catch up, on the other side of the waterfall.

We were still underwater, staring each other down for an immeasurable amount of time. Finally, I blew Edward a kiss, and he gave me his perfect crooked smile in response. Edward offered me his hand, which I took, and we swam back over to our paradise side of the waterfall.

As soon as we were back over, we came back up to the surface, but Edward's hand never left mine. Edward's feet were able to touch the bottom apparently because he was pretty stable when he pulled me close enough again to where I could wrap my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist, feeling his length up against my stomach. He was fully aroused, as was I, after our little game of cat and mouse.

"God, Bella…you are so…incredibly…sexy." Edward left open-mouthed kisses along my neck and shoulders between his words as I raked my fingernails up and down his back, digging in whenever I felt his shaft against my core. I was grinding against Edward's hips, gasping and urging him on.

"Please, Edward," I begged when I couldn't take the teasing anymore. I moved my right hand down to guide him to my entrance. Once there, I lowered myself down onto Edward as he pushed up and into me, both of us moaning once he was fully sheathed inside me. Edward gripped my hips harder lifting me up and then lowering me back down onto him. Up and down he continued to move me while he pumped in and out of me. I gave in to Edward's control, throwing my head back and arching my back enough so he could kiss, lick, and nip at my breasts. The combined sensations of Edward's mouth on my hardened nipple and the mass of his shaft moving inside me sent me over the edge. I was whimpering and moaning as my body tightened around his length. I uttered something else unintelligible as my body shuddered with waves of pleasure, squeezing, and milking Edward's body, urging him to release inside of me. I felt Edward's body stiffen a moment before he grunted my name and god in the same breath.

I sighed in ecstasy resting my chin on Edward's shoulder.

"You are so beautiful," Edward breathed into my ear.

"Thank you," I murmured dreamily. "So are you."

"You still want to stay here forever?" Edward asked after we separated our bodies.

"Mmhmm." I hummed my response, too lazy to form a coherent sentence.

Edward chuckled. "Me too, love. Me too. But…"

I sighed. "I know, I know. Alice would hunt us down," I admitted grudgingly. She was probably already pissed that I was contemplating staying right where I was with Edward.

"As would the rest of the family," Edward pointed out. "I'm sure they're all eager to see you."

"I want to see them too." I smiled. I really did. I hadn't seen Alice in so long, I probably wouldn't have minded her making me over so long as I got to spend some time with her. And the rest of them, save for Rosalie, I was really looking forward to seeing them too. I wondered if I would be able to lift Emmett up and over my head. "Can we come back though? Someday?"

Edward's eyes sparkled with emotion as he continued to look at me. "Absolutely," he promised before softly brushing his lips against mine. "Absolutely."

**EPoV**

Bella wanted to come back to this place. With me. Someday.

I was over the moon with happiness. After such a rough start and despite her apprehension about my staying with her forever, we were definitely getting somewhere. Her words and our lovemaking were a testament to that.

We eventually retrieved our undergarments, which had floated over and washed onto the rocks. We laid them out to dry and got redressed...eventually. We spent the rest of the night and day at our spot, and exploring the area all around.

We hunted jaguar, and just as I suspected, Bella enjoyed it. Well, as much as she could enjoy it, I supposed. I still found it endearing that she grimaced slightly while quietly apologizing to her prey before killing it.

The following night we set off to find Zafrina's coven, but before we left, Bella took one last look around, searing our lagoon into her newly photographic memory and vowing to return sometime in the near future.

We followed the river eastward towards Manus, which was where Zafrina had been a few months ago and where she and her coven liked to stay. They remained in the rainforest, but kept close to towns for sustenance.

We actually ran into Kachiri before seeing Senna or Zafrina, who weren't far behind her. They were dressed in their usual wild animal print garb and towered over both Bella and me. I was used to having them tower over me, but Bella was even shorter than I was. She looked like a toddler next to their tall, lean, feral figures.

We greeted each other warmly and I introduced them to Bella. As much as I had told her about the trio to prepare her, I could tell that Bella was a bit on edge, nervous. She was polite to them of course, but also reserved. They seemed wild and their movements, to a person not used to them, seemed jerky, their eyes were always moving, darting around, always vigilant and aware of their surroundings. I was sure their diet of choice played a part in Bella's apprehension. True, they may have seemed…less civilized than all the other vampires she had come into contact with thus far, James, Laurent, and Victoria included, but I had assured her that the Amazon Coven were old friends and could be trusted.

"What brings you back to the Amazon so soon, Edward?" Zafrina asked in her deep voice.

Bella looked at me questioningly. She didn't know how recently I'd been to South America.

I smiled. "We are headed to Rio, and Bella wanted to meet you."

Zafrina and the others turned to look at Bella. She would have blushed from all the attention had she been able to, I was sure. As it was, Bella returned their curious gazes with a small, tight smile.

"Ah, I'm glad you found the female you were seeking," Zafrina said looking between Bella and me. _She seems lovely._

Again, Bella glanced at me inquisitively, and I merely shrugged, trying to look nonchalant about it when, in truth, I was a bit nervous. More than just a bit nervous, actually. Zafrina thought of Bella while Kachiri and Senna both silently noted how beautiful Bella was. Zafrina assumed that the vampire I had been looking for months ago was Bella. I'd have to set the record straight with Bella if she asked. I was a little afraid of how she'd react to hearing that I had been hunting Victoria but was so dismal at it. She'd blame me even more for her parents' deaths, for not being able to track Victoria. I could have prevented so much damage. The prospect of Bella's reaction, of her getting angry with me again after all the progress we'd made, made me extremely anxious.

"Bella was interested in your talent, Zafrina, but I'm afraid it won't work on her."

Zafrina's expression grew bewildered. "I can't hear her thoughts most of the time," I explained.

"Really?" Zafrina asked as she conjured up a desert scene. I looked all around me. There was nothing but red clay, dust, rocks, and cacti. The sun was beating down on me though I knew very well it was night time in the rainforest of Brazil.

"Do you see any of this, Bella?" I asked.

"See what?" Bella replied curiously.

"The desert," Zafrina answered.

"No," Bella said.

"Hmm," I heard from Zafrina. "How can this be?" she wondered aloud. "You have a shield, Bella?"

I could only imagine that Bella shrugged. "I…guess so. I've lifted it enough to allow Edward to occasionally hear my mind."

"Can you extend it to keep him out of your mind and someone else's mind?" Zafrina asked.

Finally, I got my vision back, as did Senna and Kachiri. We stood watching the interaction between Bella and Zafrina. Zafrina was thinking that Bella could protect other people's minds, just as I had wondered.

Bella shrugged. "I don't know. I've never thought of it like that so I've never tried."

"Bella, what's it feel like when you allow me to hear you?" I asked. "When you push all the extraneous thoughts out of your head?"

Bella shook her head. "I don't know. I've never analyzed it. I must sound pretty lame, huh?" She smiled in her usual self-deprecating way.

"Try it now and tell us what it feels like, if it feels like anything at all," I suggested.

It took Bella a minute to concentrate, and then I could hear her and feel what she was feeling.

_I feel…lighter or less tight around my head. Like something is stretching or releasing? Can you hear me, Edward? And…_

"Yes, Bella, I can hear you. It felt like a rubberband stretching away from you."

"Yes," Bella agreed. Her concentration broke upon hearing my assessment. "It's very strange, but did you hear the last part, Edward? I asked you another question."

I shook my head. "I only heard you ask if I could hear you," I told her. "What was your other question, Bella? I only hear you say _and_."

She didn't answer. Bella thought of something else.

"I was able to lift the band or whatever it is and still protect my thoughts because it hadn't...snapped back until after you told me you could hear me," she mused. "I wonder…Can you hear Zafrina?" she asked.

I nodded. Zafrina was thinking how odd Bella's talent was but also how she had so much potential.

"Okay, Edward keep listening and let me know if you can't hear her anymore. Zafrina, keep…thinking," Bella smiled sheepishly.

Zafrina smiled back at Bella thinking how amusing this little game was and how curious Bella made her while Bella worked on extending her mental shield. After a few minutes, I heard Zafrina's unfinished thought, _I don't think this is going to…_

"I can't hear you," I told Zafrina. Everyone turned to look at me. "The last thing I heard was I don't think this is going to…"

"And I thought _I don't think this is going to work but Bella is trying so hard that I wish that it would and I wonder how disappointed she'll be that it doesn't work_," Zafrina smiled. "Sorry, Bella, for disbelieving," Zafrina apologized.

Bella laughed. "That's okay. I didn't think it was going to work either. Who knew?" she shrugged.

"Try it on me, Bella," I told her. "Zafrina, I'll let you know if and when I get my vision back."

Zafrina nodded and created a sandstorm illusion. Again the sun was beating down, but it was very windy. It was so vivid, I had to shield my eyes with my forearm. And then, I saw Bella and Kachiri and Senna and Zafrina. Senna and Kachiri's eyes looked as if they were in the sandstorm as well. They were squinting and each put a hand up to protect their face from the blowing sand.

"I can see again," I said. "Can you extend it even more, Bella?" I asked.

Bella concentrated, gritting her teeth as she tried to remain focused, and soon Kachiri's head shot up.

"I can see," she informed us.

And then Senna said she could see again as well. Bella was able to stretch her shield over three of us!

"Impressive," Zafrina breathed in amazement and wonder.

Losing her concentration, Bella blew out a long breath and I could see the sandstorm once again but only for a minute until Zafrina cleared the illusion.

We looked at Bella. She looked a little exhausted.

"Are you okay, love?"

Bella nodded. "I'm not physically tired, but my mind feels a little drained," she confessed.

**BPoV**

It was so weird when I actually concentrated on lifting the rubber band-like shield from my body and stretched it over to Edward and the others. I could even feel the elastic distend and widen to cover them.

And for Edward not to hear Zafrina or me…I felt rather powerful really. But something was nagging at me. The other question that I asked Edward when he heard me briefly before. I had asked if he could hear me and also who the female he was seeking was. That comment from Zafrina unsettled me more than I cared to admit. Was she wondering about a mate he was seeking over his lifetime or a particular person he was looking for just recently? It was unclear to me.

I was unable to ask Edward or Zafrina about it anyway since we were all in each other's company at all times over the next couple of days, and it seemed like it should have been a private conversation so I was actually grateful Edward hadn't heard the rest of my question before.

We explored the rainforest. They showed me around. We came across a few more waterfalls. They were bigger and, therefore, probably more amazing than the one Edward had shown me.

I still liked ours the best. It was like our South American version of the meadow. It was special.

We practiced extending my gift whenever we got a chance. I did try lifting my shield long enough to experience one of Zafrina's illusions, but it just worked once and for only a short time. I was at the top of a mountain, in the middle of a blizzard.

I had grown to like Zafrina over the few days we spent with her coven. I knew I'd like her since Edward had told me that they were all friends, but admittedly, I was a little frightened of her. She was just so…wild. That was the only way I could describe her. Her dress, her demeanor, they were all very animalistic. But she was very sweet, as were Senna and Kachiri.

On the third day with the Amazon Coven, the two other women were going hunting and asked if Edward would go along. They liked to use his talents for hunting, and I didn't want to know any more to it than that. In any case, Edward amused them. He seemed torn. Edward didn't want to seem rude by telling them no, but he also wasn't sure about leaving me alone with Zafrina.

I assured him that we'd be fine so reluctantly, Edward left with the other two.

Zafrina and I merely talked since we didn't have a third party for me to practice on. I told Zafrina that Alice wanted me to tell her hello and also that Alice believed Zafrina would be able to help me expand my gift so I thanked her for that.

"You're welcome, Bella, though you had the ability all along. You only needed a little coaching and Edward probably would have pointed you in the right direction eventually," she told me in her deep, rough voice that lilted with an accent with each word she spoke.

I smiled. That was probably true. "But you got Edward thinking so I'm positive that the majority of the accolades belong to you, Zafrina."

She laughed her thanks.

"So how long ago was it that you saw Edward?" I hedged as casually as I could. "You sounded like you've seen him recently?"

"Ah, yes, he was here not three months ago, looking for you, I assume," she answered smiling.

"Really?" I tried to keep my voice steady. Zafrina eemed convinced, but there was no way Edward had been looking for me. In South America? I was lying unresponsive and completely depressed in my bed in Forks three months ago.

"Yes, he was very persistent. He came here and asked us if we had seen a female vampire from the States. He said he needed to find her, wouldn't stop until he did." Zafrina chuckled. "I guess he can stop now, yes?"

I laughed awkwardly along with her hoping she didn't sense my unease. As nice as she'd been and as much as I'd grown to like her, our interactions were still on the awkward side so I didn't think my anxiety registered with her, but my mind was reeling.

Edward had been here…searching desperately for…another woman.

His distraction.

My heart shattered.

Of course. He never found her. She was still out there somewhere. I was merely a distraction from his initial distraction. It'd only be a matter of time before he'd want to search for her again. I cringed internally. I thought I was going to be sick, if that were possible. It was like a kick to the gut. My ears began to ring and there was an aching in my chest spreading down to the pit of my stomach. I thought I was dizzy, if vampires could feel vertigo. I needed to leave. I needed to think. I needed to run.

"How long does it usually take to hunt?" I asked randomly, my mind quickly running through a million thoughts and plans and discarding various ones at a much faster rate than normal.

"Not long usually, but with Edward as entertainment, reading people's thoughts, they could be a while. Perhaps they won't return until tomorrow?"

"I see," I nodded. "You don't need to hunt?" I asked.

Zafrina shrugged. "I could go, but I don't want to leave you and I know you don't partake in our diet."

"Oh, no, it's fine. You can go. I can stay here and hunt another jaguar. You go catch up with them. I'd like to explore some more anyway. It's so beautiful here," I told her. "And I know my way around. I can follow our scents back."

Zafrina thought over what I said and finally nodded. "But I won't stay as long as them. I'll come right back or at least, I'll send Edward back," she promised.

I smiled as brightly as I could, although it felt like I was crumbling. "Thanks, Zafrina."

And with that Zafrina was off. Quickly and bitterly, I gathered my backpack and suitcase and I, too, was off.

I couldn't allow the full enormity of my situation hit me right now. Later. When I was far away and alone, then I'd let the truth crash over me, consume me.

Right now I needed to rethink my game plan, leave Edward to his stupid distractions, and wrap my head, once again, around the prospect of an eternity alone.

**A/N What'd you think? Don't you hate misunderstandings? Okay, so let me have it (that's what she said). Review please, it only takes a moment. You've got a moment for me, right? You just read all that up there. What's another couple of seconds really? Do me a solid and click below! Thanks! 'Til next time guys!**


	16. Forever

**A/N I don't own Twilight, Steph Meyer does.**

**I loved the reviews from the last chapter. "He's stupid!" "She's stupid!" "They're both stupid!" Someone mentioned taking a brick to Bella's indestructible head. Haha. Luckily, I didn't get anyone telling me that _I'm _stupid. Thanks for refraining from insulting the author. I appreciate it. Did you get the teaser for this chapter? No? Either you didn't read your email or you didn't review in order for me to send it to you. To which group do you belong? Either case can be easily rectified. You know what to do.**

**Oh and this is COMPLETELY random but, for those of you who've read Can't Let Go and The Daily Grind, I was watching HGTV's Color Splash when the thought occurred to me. David Bromstad is MY Hal :) I just put the link up on my profile so you can check him out by copying and pasting the web address to your browser. Still haven't found Coley yet though. Anyhoo...**

**Thanks to Phantom for telling me what to fix. Thanks to you guys for reading. Now GREAR.**

**Chapter 16: Forever**

**BPoV**

I won't let this break me.

I _won't_ let this break me.

I kept repeating my mantra as I ran.

I hadn't gotten very far, though, before I started to rethink what I was doing. Once Zafrina caught up to them, I knew Edward would rush back to where I was supposed to be and then come looking for me once he realized I'd left, regardless of whether or not he learned anything from Zafrina. I thought about waiting and giving him a chance to explain himself. I probably should have stayed put instead of jumping the gun as I was apt to do. I was acting rash, going on emotion. I needed to stop and think about what the hell I was doing. Was I really ready to throw away what I had with Edward--whatever it was we'd gained or repaired in our relationship--over another woman who may or may not have been in the picture still?

So I did stop. The soreness in my chest forced me to. It wasn't quite the same pain I felt from when Edward left the first time. That pain had initiated from the chasm that was left in the wake of my shattered heart. While that was what I felt again initially from what Zafrina told me, it had changed, not dissipated, but morphed into another feeling altogether. It had turned into an ache, a heavy pull that was keeping me from wandering too far away. Too far away from Edward?

As I pondered this _pull_, I had run around in circles leaving my scent, much like I had at Apache Creek when I had challenged Edward to track me. The area I covered was a bit larger than that though. The circumference was as large as I could make it without feeling that aching too badly. I decided not to leave…yet. I would wait and hear Edward's explanation. I owed him that much. To completely leave without so much as a goodbye was…wrong. Having been on the receiving end of that when his entire family left, I couldn't do it to him no matter how wounded or hurt I felt.

I still wanted time for myself to think though. I ran back to the coven's current site and put my suitcase back so Edward would know I would return for it. I then left the circular trail to throw Edward off even just for a little while when he came looking for me. It would give me a little time. I did not want to leave a direct trail leading to exactly where I was so I took to the trees, grateful that I didn't have my suitcase with me as it was challenging enough to leap from tree to tree with only the backpack on. I needed both my hands to grip onto the trees and stabilize myself.

I was so busy thinking while also trying not to over think at the same time, that I ignored the missed call from Alice, though to be fair, my phone was in my backpack's front pocket, and I was busy leaping from tree to tree looking for a place to sit and think. I pulled the phone out once I decided to sit near the top of a Kapok tree. I didn't even realize I could get reception on my phone in the middle of the Amazon rainforest, but perhaps being up nearly two hundred feet from the ground in the tree tops helped with that.

Alice hadn't left a voicemail. I hesitated to call her back at first. She must have seen me take off, but then she must have also seen that I decided to wait and see. Maybe that was why she hadn't blown up my phone with call after call. Alice had called about ten minutes prior. I sat there staring at her number.

Before I could stop myself, my finger hit the _call_ button without authorization from my brain.

"Bella," Alice breathed sounding relieved. She picked up before her ring back tone played more than three notes of _Get into the Groove_. I shook my head at my silly friend but couldn't hold back a small snort of laughter.

"Alice," I responded not really sure of what to say to her.

"Thank you for stopping. For waiting for Edward. He's frantic…."

I closed my eyes and grimaced, feeling guilty. I hated that Edward was worried despite everything going on. I couldn't help it. I never liked to see him anxious.

"…And thanks for not just…leaving. I know you were wavering."

I felt that aching again, and I couldn't speak.

"Just listen to him okay? He can be an idiot sometimes, but he loves you."

Alice must have known who the female was that Zafrina had referred to. "Alice, do you know who…"

"Bella, Edward should tell you himself, but really, it's not what you're thinking."

Alice spoke with so much conviction that I couldn't help but believe her, and it sounded like Edward and I would be okay. I sighed in relief. I just had to wait and hear him out. I could do that.

I wondered if I should have gone to look for him though. Cut down on the wait time.

"Edward'll find you in about twelve minutes. He just figured out your red herring. He was running around in circles," she laughed. "You're pretty good at throwing him off."

I had to smile a little. "Thanks." Twelve minutes. I could wait it out. "Alice, does he know that I'm waiting for him?"

"No," she answered quickly and with no qualms whatsoever. "I'm letting him sweat, figuratively anyway," she giggled.

**EPoV**

We were heading back from town, Senna and Kachiri and I, when Alice called me.

"Bella's thinking about bailing, Edward. Go find her." Alice's tone was filled with alarm.

My stomach was suddenly in my throat.

"What? Bella wants to leave? Without me?" I asked as I took off running at top speed, not even caring that I had left the other two without any warning.

"She's thinking about it. Whatever you did this time, fix it fast," Alice ordered. "I want to see her again and the entire family is anxiously awaiting you guys."

I thought about what I'd done in the very recent past that could have set Bella off and the only thing I could think of was Zafrina's comments the first day we met up. I knew Bella was curious about those and I tried to play it off like it was no big deal. As if I'd think it weren't a big deal if I'd heard Bella was searching for another man. Fuck!

"I think she might think I was unfaithful to her when I was tracking Victoria." My face contorted from this admission. Never! How could I ever want anyone but my Bella?

Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, I couldn't tell Alice any more about my latest fuck up as I lost reception upon entering the forest. I stuck my phone back in my pocket and continued on toward where the coven had been staying. I did run into Zafrina on the way. She told me that Bella insisted on her coming to hunt but that she'd be back to keep Bella company soon or else send me, but she could see I was already on my way back.

"Is Bella all right?" I asked Zafrina.

She nodded. "Oh yes. Bella was going to explore and hunt another jaguar while we were out."

I searched Zafrina's mind for more information. Bella and I just hunted. The jaguar was rather satiating so I didn't think she'd be hunting again so soon, especially since she really didn't enjoy it and only drank when she absolutely needed to.

"Are you all right, Edward?"

"I just need to find Bella." I didn't want to make myself look completely crazy, but I needed to ask, "Please, what did you and Bella talk about right before you left?" Zafrina must have heard the desperation and urgency in my tone. She seemed a bit bewildered but complied nonetheless.

She showed me Bella's face as she looked at her, answering Bella's question about when I'd been here in South America last. Zafrina told Bella about how desperate I was to find a female vampire from the States three months ago. Bella knew Zafrina wasn't referring to her, but Zafrina truly believed that Bella was the one I had been searching for. While the rest of her face remained neutral, Bella's eyes registered shock, discomfort, and disbelief. While Bella giggled uncomfortably along with Zafrina, I could tell she didn't really find what Zafrina said anywhere in the vicinity of amusing. Only someone who knew Bella, _really_ knew Bella, would know that she was uncomfortable instantly but was hiding it.

Dammit! Pretty much the last thing that Bella heard about me was that I was desperate to find another woman. I should have cleared the air before we'd even left Phoenix, but no. I was too chicken shit to tell her that I could have prevented her parents' murders.

I continued to berate myself as I made it back to where we'd been staying, near where the Rio Negro met the Rio Madiera, east of Manus, Brazil. Though, just as I feared, Bella was nowhere to be seen, but I was somewhat relieved to see her small suitcase still by mine though her backpack was also gone. She could have planned on returning. I hoped she did, but I'd try to find her anyway. I needed to explain.

I sought out Bella's scent. Even though the orchids smelled strong throughout the forest, I could easily discern Bella's floral scent from the rest of the exotic plants. And despite Bella having no blood left, her scent still sang to me and I followed it. I wanted to, but it was also as if I had no choice. I was so drawn to her that I couldn't help but be pulled by her scent.

Bella was tricky though. Just like at Apache Creek not too long ago, she left a false trail for me to follow. I was going around in a circle again. I was wasting time. It would have been far too easy to find her on this circle's path. So I could only assume that she didn't want me to find her. My face fell upon this revelation. But then she had left the suitcase. Either she didn't want to carry it with her if she were to leave--I clenched my jaw, biting back emotion at the idea of Bella leaving me--or she really was planning on coming back to get it. I had to believe she was going to return. Hope was all I had.

I thought hard. I couldn't keep running around in this circle, searching in vain. What would I have done to try to evade discovery? I wouldn't have wanted to run from Bella though. Not now. My heart sank at the thought of Bella running from me. Finally, I stopped running myself. I looked up at the sky for, I don't know what, a little guidance? All I could see were trees, trees, and more trees. And then it occurred to me.

I quickly scaled the nearest Kapok tree. These were the oldest and tallest and most supportive for climbing. I listened carefully while also searching again for Bella's scent to follow. I caught it easily. The air was clearer of the other floral scents up here in the treetops. I also listened for peace and quiet. The wildlife would certainly steer clear of Bella, wherever she was, so I leaped from tree to tree, gravitating toward Bella's scent as well as the sound of silence.

Bella's scent was getting stronger so I knew I was getting close. I hoped she wouldn't keep running once she realized that I was getting near her because if I could smell her, she could certainly smell me.

I finally spotted her sitting on a branch a few trees over and lower down from where I was on my tree. Bella had been listening to music but she must have sensed I was there because she pulled an ear bud out and then kind of just froze in place. Yes, she knew I was there. It seemed like forever before she spoke.

"You found me," Bella said without turning to look at me. "And shockingly quicker than I had anticipated." Was there a hint of playfulness in her tone or was I imagining it?

I smiled. I smiled because I knew she was referring to my terrible tracking skills, which was an apropos comment given our current circumstance, but I also smiled because she had anticipated me finding her. Bella wanted me to find her…well she _expected_ me to anyway.

"I guess if you want something bad enough, there's really no stopping you," I replied as I leaped to the next tree before pausing and gauging Bella's reaction, holding my breath hoping she wouldn't move from where she was while I approached. To my relief, she didn't. "Can we talk?" I asked as I jumped to the tree she was on and climbed down to her branch. Luckily, it was sturdy enough to support the both of us.

Bella was sitting with her back against the tree with one leg resting on the large branch while her other leg dangled precariously off the side. Had she still been human, I would have worried about Bella losing her balance and falling off, but I knew now that she was fine. Even if she fell, she would have landed on her feet. Plus, her body was close to being indestructible anyway. Bella put her music away into the front pouch of her backpack, which was also against the tree resting evenly on two close by branches. I sat straddling the branch, a leg's length away, facing her.

"That's why I'm still here," she replied quietly as she lifted her chin and met my gaze. She was waiting, looking at me expectantly.

I didn't need any further prompting. I had to cut right to the heart of the matter.

"I was here a few months ago. I should have told you, and I'm sorry." Bella dropped her gaze from mine as she continued to listen.

"I was looking for Victoria. Trying to track her." Bella's head snapped up at my confession. Her eyes looked shocked. Her lips parted but no sound came out. I continued my explanation. "I was desperate to find her because I wanted to destroy her before she…did anything…I couldn't find her, of course. I was on the wrong continent completely. I'm sorry, Bella. I'm sorry I couldn't track her. I'm sorry I couldn't stop her…"

"You were trying to track Victoria?" Bella asked sounding angry, incredulous. I nodded, pleading with my eyes for her to forgive me for not being able to save her parents from their eminent demise. "You were trying to track Victoria," she repeated quietly, not as a question this time but as a statement.

She must have seen the heartbreak and remorse in my expression and tone as her countenance softened from the hard lines of alarm and disbelief to calm and understanding.

"You could have just told me," she chided me softly.

"I know. I should have. I know." I spoke quietly, feeling guilty but unable to take my eyes off of Bella. I wanted to touch her, hold her, to apologize to her once again. "I was…afraid."

Bella's brow furrowed in wonder.

"I didn't want you to hate me even more for hurting you. For destroying your family. It's just…I didn't know Victoria had it in her really. I just thought she'd…I don't know what I thought actually. I just needed to _do_ something at the time. I was completely lost without you and I couldn't stand to be around my family anymore…"

Bella shook her head. "Your distraction," she mumbled mostly to herself before she looked at me square in the eyes again. "You told me there really weren't any, that it was part of the lie. You could have just told me, Edward. I thought…"

Bella let her left leg dangle down on the other side of the branch, no longer keeping me away from her. I immediately closed the space between us, sitting directly in front of her, our thighs barely touching. I framed Bella's face in my hands. "Never, Bella. There could never be anyone else. Ever. Please believe me."

It was as if those were the words she had been waiting for. Bella's shoulders dropped as she exhaled, leaning her forehead against my chin. I kissed the top of her head as I held her body to mine.

"I'm sorry," I told her over and over again, burying my nose in her hair and inhaling deeply. I didn't want to let her go. Ever.

Bella shook her head and finally looked up at me, her jaw set.

"Stop, Edward. You couldn't have known what Victoria was planning. Even _she_ didn't know." While that may have been true, I still couldn't help but feel responsible for what happened to Renee, Phil, and Charlie.

"But what if…"

"No," Bella interrupted me. "We can't live in _what if's_. That's just impossible and stupid." Bella looked at me pointedly, willing me to agree.

"So you don't blame me?" I asked timidly, practically whispering, my eyes boring into hers.

She didn't answer in words. Instead, Bella cupped my face in her small hands pulling it down so our lips could meet. I brushed my lips softly against hers several times before kissing my way from her chin to behind her ear, nuzzling the skin there.

"God, I love you, Bella," I breathed into her ear before taking her lobe between my lips.

Bella moaned softly, tilting her head away from my mouth but exposing more skin for me to trail kisses along. But then she placed her hands on my chest, pushing slightly, requesting me to stop.

"Wait," she said sternly. "Is there anything else you need to tell me, Edward? Because I swear I can't take anymore surprises."

I nodded in understanding.

"I have no more secrets, Bella. I swear. Ask me anything."

"Really?" she asked. I nodded again. I wanted everything out in the open.

"Where did you go? After you…you know…left me." She whispered the last part.

I told her about how we went to our home in northwest Vermont, in Swanton. How I pretty much was held hostage there by my family because they were afraid of what I'd do without her.

"Like what?" Bella asked capturing my face in her hands once again. A mixture of fright and concern washed over her.

I shook my head. "I'm not sure. I think they were mainly afraid that I'd let myself waste away. I refused to see them, talk to them, or even go hunting. I really did just curl up in the attic and give in to the pain and sorrow."

Bella closed her eyes as if picturing me in that state. "But you managed to leave…to try to track Victoria."

"I did," I nodded. "Emmett forced me to go hunting, pretty much dragging me and my dead weight. He told me I had to snap out of it. That if I felt so terrible then I needed to do something about it. He told me to go back to Forks. To you." I looked at Bella. She was biting her lip, holding back emotion.

She swallowed before speaking. "But you didn't," she said staring at her hands, which were shaking so I held them firmly in mine.

"No. I'm sorry. I almost did. I was so close. I wanted to go back, but I promised you a clean break. I'd ruined your life enough." Bella shook her head clearly not wanting to go back down this road and argue about it.

"So you decided to hunt for Victoria?"

"Yes. I didn't want to be around my family anymore, and they sure as hell were sick of me the way I was anyway. I was unbearable. _They_ were unbearable. I couldn't block out their thoughts well enough. They were either chastising me for making everyone leave Forks or they were feeling sorry for me all the time. I couldn't listen to it anymore."

I watched Bella's reactions as she processed my words. She probably puzzled out that Rosalie was the one chastising and Esme and everyone else were the ones pitying me.

"Alice never checked in on me either," she said morosely, looking down at our hands. I rubbed the backs of hers with my thumbs. It nearly broke me how pained her voice was.

"Not because she didn't want to, Bella. Please understand. I didn't want us, any of us, to interfere in your life anymore. But once I left the home in Vermont, she must have looked in occasionally but didn't tell me about it. I was gone anyway. I had followed a false lead down here but went back to Vermont with nothing, having gotten nowhere closer to finding Victoria. I went back to the attic though I did venture out to hunt on occasion to appease Esme and Carlisle. Everyone else had pretty much just left me alone to my misery the last two and half months. Alice and Jasper were out hunting when she saw you but you then you kept disappearing. That was probably when you were with Jacob." Bella looked at me curiously. "She can't see werewolves," I shrugged answering her unspoken question.

Bella sighed. "It sounds like you fared as well as I did," she smiled slightly though there was no amusement in her voice. "Charlie was pretty much at his wits end with me, I was so out of it. He was about to send me to Florida actually but then…" I winced knowing what happened next.

"It's ironic though," she continued. "I had just decided to buck up and attempt to become one of the living again right before Laurent took me and Victoria bit me. And then I thought I was going to die that night but became undead instead."

I grimaced and had begun to ponder the what if's again. What if Bella actually remained human? What if she'd died that night?

"Hey," she said gently, seeming to read my mind. "Don't. We could speculate for all of eternity, but why bother? There's no going back," she reminded me.

I nodded. I knew she was right.

"Was that why you didn't just leave after speaking with Zafrina?" I asked.

Bella pursed her lips thinking. "Partly. I wanted to…no, I _had_ to hear you out before making any rash decisions. I mean, I wanted to bolt. I _did_ bolt. But then I realized I couldn't just go without saying anything…" Bella shrugged but I finished the thought in my own head. She couldn't just go without saying anything because she knew what that felt like. We did that to her. Oh god, I felt terrible.

"You're more than I deserve, Bella," I breathed as I leaned my forehead against hers. She kissed my lips softly, and I wrapped my arms around her again holding her tight. "What else made you wait, love? You said that wanting to speak to me again was only part of the reason."

"The other reason was because I couldn't go." She spoke matter-of-factly, and I leaned back to look at her.

"Because…"

"Because the further I strayed from your vicinity, the more I hurt here," she said placing her hand on her chest. "And then the closer I came back, the less it hurt. It was like I had to be close to you in order to not hurt. I don't know. It's like we're…connected or something?"

"Bound," I completed for her. "We're bound together." I was beaming at Bella as she nodded.

"We _have_ to be together," she agreed. I nodded as well. "Promise," she whispered, her voice full of emotion, her eyes looking as if tears were about to spill over were begging me for assurance.

"Always," I vowed.

"Forever," Bella mouthed our lips pressed together once again, underscoring our pledge to one another.

**A/N Forever ever? Yes, forever ever, Miss Jackson. What do yo say? "Yay!" or "Yay?" or "Nay?" I'm knee deep in research, but I'd love to hear from you. It takes my mind off of homework for a bit. Also, I'm not asking for reviews just to be a review whore--though certainly I am that. No, the more reviews I get means more readers will be attracted to the story. And while hopefully the story is enough to attract readers and keep them, it's the stats that first hooks them. Am I wrong? Anyhoo, do me a solid and review so I have fun emails to read when I get home from class at 9:30 tonight. Thanks!**


	17. Family Reunion

**A/N I don't own New Moon. I do, however, have the tickets to the midnight showing fandangoed. Can't wait!**

**Thanks to Phantom, who's working her betastic bum off to beta and study and take tests and go to school and what not. Good luck, kid. You can't fail your tests and then get killed. Who's gonna do my evil bidding for me and make my story look pretty and stuff? **

**FYI, I wrapped up my very first story, Saving Me and the Sequel of one shots. Did you know that Phantom was my very first reviewer? And look at us now. Cue the Laverne and Shirley music :D Oh, and in Can't Let Go news, I've decided, with the help of Pixielovestoshop and alwayswatchingtv, that Kristen Bell would make for a perfect Coley.**

**Quick shout out to always and breyzie, my preggy fanfic friends. Warning: Don't drink the water up in fanfic land, you'll end up in the family way.**

**Okay, okay, let's get on with it. Here for you is the rest of chapter 17, if I sent you the teaser. If I didn't send you the teaser, you are either Phantom--who gets the entire chapter anyway--or you didn't review, and so here's chapter 17. GREAR.**

**Chapter 17: Family**

**BPoV**

Edward and I stayed up in the tree for what seemed like hours after we pledged forever to each other. Neither of us wanted to move from the branch we were still perched on. I was content to be held in Edward's arms.

"I'm so glad I didn't just leave," I mused, inhaling Edward's sweet scent deeply, filling my lungs. To think I would have missed being this close to him.

"Me too," he said. "I would have come after you though," he sounded absolutely certain and I could hear the words he hadn't said: I would have found you. I would never have given up.

"I know," I whispered. Edward probably would have followed me to the ends of the earth. To the gates of Hell and beyond.

Luckily, he wouldn't have had to. Luckily, I wasn't a completely impulsive fool.

It was a good thing I was entirely in love with this man. At that moment, I realized I hadn't told him that after he said it to me earlier.

I pulled my head back so I could look up at Edward. His caramel eyes bored into mine. "I love you."

Edward smiled warmly in response, a smile that lit up his eyes and transformed his normally handsome face into that of a joyful seraph. "I will never tire of hearing that," he murmured as he brushed his lips against mine. "Honestly." He returned his lips to mine, but more forcefully this time. It was still a chaste kiss to begin with but escalated quickly until we were both moving sinuously against each other, hands diving under clothes, wandering over the concealed flesh.

I was amazed at how rapidly we could get lost in one another. When we were together it was if nothing else mattered, or even existed. All I could manage was to feel; Edward's hands on the small of my back; my curves against the hard lines of his chest; his hungry lips moving greedily on my mouth, capturing and sucking my lips, tasting me with his tongue.

My hands were tracing hidden paths underneath Edward's shirt, creeping up his sides, outlining the muscles of his torso, and then clutching his shoulder blades.

I felt the rumble of Edward's growl when he caught the scent of my arousal. We were heading in a dangerous direction. Dangerous in the sense that we were approximately two hundred feet from solid ground but seemingly uncaring that we could go tumbling off the branch of the Kapok tree at any moment.

"Edward?" I breathed, tearing my mouth away from his but unable to stop myself moving it over his neck.

He hummed in acknowledgement as he nuzzled my earlobe.

"Did it occur to you that we're making out in a tree?" I asked, my breathing ragged as I rolled my head back while Edward continued to drop kisses all along my neck and collarbone.

"I think we're about to do more than just make out in this tree," he replied between kisses. His right hand found its way to rest on my left breast. I moaned as Edward kneaded and massaged it.

"Yes, well," I said breathlessly, trying to recall why exactly I was trying to stop this. "I don't feel like falling out of this tree no matter how indestructible I am now." I moaned again once Edward's left hand landed on my right breast, pinching my hardened nipple through the lace of my bra.

"A little faith, please, Bella," he asked me right before he crushed his mouth to mine once again. I guess he was trying to tell me I was talking too much. Perhaps he even agreed that I was insane for trying to stop.

So I went with it. Wherever this was going. I didn't want to over think it anymore. I just let my body enjoy whatever pleasure Edward was about to provide.

Edward moved his hands from my chest to under my arms as he lithely jumped up landing on the tree branch with both his feet while bringing me up with him, pinning me against the tree as he continued his assault on my mouth, which was easy since my mouth had parted slightly in surprise. My arms wrapped around as much of the tree as I could grab a hold of on either side and curving around behind me.

Edward hiked my shirt up, but my outstretched arms gripping onto the tree prevented him from pulling it up over my head. He stopped kissing me in order to look me in the eye. His eyes were smoldering, pleading for my continued trust.

I relented, biting my lip while cautiously removing my death grip from the tree and lifting my arms up so he could take my shirt off. I thought he would place my shirt on the branch next to us, but to my astonishment, he dropped it, letting it land somewhere on the ground near our tree. My mouth fell open again for a moment before twisting into a smile. I had no idea what else to do but smile. Edward smirked; he seemed amused by my reaction. I was shocked, and admittedly excited, by his lack of caution. He must have been pretty confident that something bad wouldn't happen.

I gave in, pulling his shirt up and over his head and dropping it. Next went our shoes and socks, each of us removing our own. Edward's body pinned me up against the tree once again as he nimbly unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans before pushing them and my panties down as far as they'd go, rubbing his hands and face all over my legs. I took them off, one leg at a time and then placed them neatly on the branch behind Edward. I grabbed the waist of Edward's jeans as I stood back up, fingering the inside momentarily before using my newly discovered strength and dexterity to hold onto his neck, lift my feet and use them to push both them and his boxers down, keeping as much of bodies in contact as I could during the process. Edward leaned one arm against the tree to remain balanced and the other held me to him while he stepped out of his jeans and boxers.

I eyed his arousal and reached out with my right hand to stroke him. In the moment when Edward dropped his pants from the tree and I moved to grab his shaft, he kicked my jeans off the branch. With my mouth agape, I looked down and to the side, spotting where our clothes had landed and then bringing my gaze back up to meet Edward's.

He merely smiled and shrugged once while I narrowed my eyes at him. He distracted me, though, by pressing his newly exposed body against mine, securing my body between his and the tree, kissing me once again while I continued to stroke and squeeze him, my hand still wrapped around his thickness. He kissed his way down my neck and between my breasts and then biting and nipping at me through my bra while dragging one of his hands slowly down my ribs, fingering my hip bone, and then caressing the skin of my inner thigh, slick with want, before sliding two of his fingers inside me.

I breathed out jaggedly as Edward pumped his fingers in and out, preparing me for his body. His hands felt so good, I moaned for more.

"Ready for me, love?" he asked. I nodded and moaned a _god, yes_ as he lifted me up so I could wrap my legs around his waist the same time Edward told me to hold onto the tree. I could feel the head of his shaft at my entrance. I needed to feel more of him inside me.

I did as he said, grabbing onto the tree while Edward pushed himself up and inside me in one movement. He grabbed hold of the tree as well before thrusting in and out of me. I squeezed him as he pumped inside me, filling up every inch of my body with his. I gasped out his name and he pressed his forehead against mine, watching my face as he pounded me against the tree.

"You're getting close, love. I can feel it," he breathed. All I could do was whimper my response. I was very close to my release. My walls were about to clamp around Edward. "God, I love you. Do you trust me, Bella?" Edward asked. I somehow articulated a yes through another moan of pleasure. "Wrap your arms around me." I pried my hands from the tree and did as he said, putting all my trust into Edward. "Come for me now, Bella," he ordered just as my body seized up, squeezing his.

I was in the throes of my climax, barely even noticing that Edward let go of the tree and stepped to the side of the branch. I clutched my body against his even harder, allowing the free fall we were in to heighten my bliss.

"Oh, god, Edward!" I groaned, gripping my legs more tightly around his waist. The drop felt like it took forever as I stared into Edward's eyes, but it was probably closer to only a few seconds that gravity pulled down on us. I was lost in his half-hooded butterscotch gaze while riding out my waves of pleasure. I felt Edward twitch inside of me before he grunted my name in his release, filling me with his warmth as he landed gracefully on his feet.

Neither Edward nor I moved a muscle. I continued to stare into his eyes, wrapping my mind around what just happened. I exhaled, keeping my mouth open as if to speak but unable to find the words right away. So I closed my mouth only to open it again, but all I could do was look puzzled.

Edward, once again, merely smiled a cocky crooked grin, and I pursed my lips to the side, fighting a grin of my own.

Finally, I spoke. It wasn't much though.

"Really?" But at least it was an articulate word. I looked up to where we were, and then I looked at Edward, who was still grinning, and then I looked at the ground where our clothes were lying. I looked back up at Edward. "Two hundred feet? Really?"

"Wasn't that fun?"

I shook my head at how unbelievable Edward was.

"You didn't think that was fun?" he asked me dubiously. "Because it sounded like you had a good time," he said smiling playfully.

I rolled my eyes at him. "How'd you even think of that, Edward? I didn't know you were into, uh, extreme sports."

"Only with you, love. Only with you," he answered as we finally peeled ourselves off of each other in order to get dressed. "I hadn't even thought of that until you said something about falling off. Plus, you picked the perfect tree. The perfect branch, really, because it was a clear path straight down here."

"You're unbelievable," I said shaking my head once again. "And you kicked my jeans off the branch on purpose," I accused.

Edward chuckled. "Guilty as charged, but they had to be down here since the rest of our clothes would be down here too. You wouldn't want to have to scale the tree to retrieve your pants after all this would you?"

I shook my head again. "_I_ wouldn't have had to scale the tree again. _You_ would have gone back up to get them for me since _this_ was your brainchild." I looked around as I put my socks and shoes back on, and then smiled wickedly at Edward. "Looks like you're going to have to go back up after all, Nostradamus," I laughed. "My backpack is still up there," I pointed out as I glanced back toward the top of the Kapok. "Get to climbing."

"Damn," Edward muttered. He climbed the tree in a flash, put my backpack on, and jumped back down, landing quietly next to me and offering me his hand to pull me up from the spot I was still sitting ogling him, a wry smile on my face.

"Thanks," I said as I hopped up.

"What's that smile about?" he asked.

I chuckled. "What you lack in tracking abilities you make up for…in other ways," I answered still thinking about our jungle loving here and at our waterfall when we had first arrived in Brazil.

Edward chuckled as well, conceding to my jibe about his lack of tracking talent. There was another upside to my not leaving. Edward would have come after me, yes, but good lord, how long would it have taken for him to find me? He handed me my backpack to put on. "So what's the plan? Shouldn't we be heading to Rio?"

Edward nodded. "Yeah. Let's head back to get the rest of our things and say goodbye to the coven."

"Sounds good. Can I hop on?" I asked. I already missed our contact and once we were both carrying a suitcase and backpack, I knew I wouldn't have the opportunity for a while.

Edward smiled. "Absolutely."

**EPoV**

We went back to get our suitcases and my backpack with Bella on my back. I loved that she wanted me to carry her even though she was more than capable of carrying me and getting us back to the coven probably even quicker than I could. It seemed Bella wanted the same contact that I craved as well. We had forever together now and I would never leave her side, not unless she wanted me to –well, probably not even then- but I think she was finally convinced that we not only belonged together, but that I would always be with her. We were truly bound to one another.

We found Zafrina and her coven soon enough and thanked them for their kindness in letting us stay with them and helping Bella hone her power. Bella practiced her shield on the three of them once more before we left. It didn't take her as long to protect their minds from me, and she kept the shield over them for longer than she had before, about an hour.

I was truly impressed, and bored for a change. All I could hear were the birds. Bella still had to practice some more, but she seemed to have a better handle on what she was capable of.

And I still never grew tired of her opening her mind to me, even for the few seconds that were all she could manage for the moment.

Well, Bella could probably have kept her mind open for longer, but I would inevitably distract her by kissing or touching her since it amazed and overwhelmed me to be able to hear her thoughts, no matter how mundane she believed them to be. Everything about Bella fascinated me. That would never change.

We had gotten to outside of Brasilia by dawn the next day. We hunted and then hid out in the forests near the Rio Tocantins during the day. Once night fell again we headed to Rio. Both of our phones were dead by the time we we'd left Zafrina, but I assured Bella that Alice would see us coming.

She was apprehensive once again about meeting up with my family. While she was very excited, and nervous, to see them, she wasn't sure if the feeling was mutual.

"Bella, the last time I spoke to Alice, she told me to fix whatever I messed up to cause you to want to leave. She said the whole family was anxious to see you so there's no need to be nervous."

"Everyone?" she asked sounding unconvinced.

"Everyone," I promised her. She nodded finally. I wasn't sure if she was convinced, but she didn't talk about it anymore. I did want to ask her about her plans though. Did she still believe herself to be a nomad?

"Bella, you do plan on staying with us don't you? The family, I mean."

She seemed surprised by my question. She hesitated before she answered. "Well, I hadn't thought about it much yet…will you, I mean, _they_ want me to?" She'd taken her lip between her teeth and was worrying at it again.

"Bella, why wouldn't they?" I asked incredulously. "You are a part of this family. Don't you ever think otherwise. Of course we want you. I don't think Esme will let you out of her sight for a while." I smiled at the thought of that. "Alice either for that matter. But just so we're clear, no matter where you decide to go, I'm in." That was non-negotiable.

Bella stopped walking to look at me; her eyes sparkled with emotion. She dropped her suitcase in order to throw her arms around my neck. She actually knocked me over with the force she used to heave herself onto me. I was laughing at her brute strength. She was so small but she could probably pull our Kapok tree out by its roots.

"Sorry, but thank you, Edward," she breathed into my ear.

I smiled up at my absurd, gorgeous girl. "You're welcome, love, but I'm not telling you something you weren't already aware of. It's you and me. Always."

"Forever," Bella whispered with resolve before softly pressing her lips to mine.

We were actually in Rio by the middle of the night. We had stopped running and decided to take our time since we wouldn't have a lot of time alone in the next couple of days or however long it was that we would stay. We'd simply play it by ear.

"Tell me what everyone has been up to," Bella requested.

"Well, back in Vermont, Carlisle was working in a hospital. You know he loves medicine too much to not practice. Esme is always decorating. We were looking into purchasing more property in the northeast."

"Have the others gone back to school?"

I shook my head. "I don't think anyone wanted to go back to high school again yet. We needed a break especially since…leaving Forks." I chanced a glance at Bella. She simply looked lost in thought. "I'm not sure of their plans currently. I wasn't really talking to them, any of them, when Alice and Jasper told me about your future disappearing. I was blocking everyone out when I was home and I'd disappear for days at a time to go hunting on my own."

"How did you find out about me?" Bella asked.

I recounted the day we got back to the house in Forks and smelled wet dog, which turned out to be Jacob, and a vampire scent that had been unsettlingly similar to Bella's.

"We found the pile of newspapers and read about the train derailment. I didn't want to believe you were dead. I knew I would have felt it if you had died so I ran to your house to look for answers. That's where Jacob and his friends were packing your things for you. I heard in Jacob's mind that you were a bloodsucker and that you were sacrificing something for them."

She hesitated a little, sneaking what she obviously thought was a stealthy sideways glance at my face before asking, "How did you feel upon hearing that I was…like you?"

I blew out a long breath while I considered how best to frame my response. "I was incredulous at first," I explained. "I thought that if Charlie had passed away, you would have gone to live with Renee, but one of Jacob's friends pointed out that Renee and Phil were already…" Bella was looking at the ground so I didn't want to say it. "The rest I learned from Jacob's thoughts. I saw…"

Laurent being chased away by a couple wolves, Victoria lunging, biting, tearing into Bella before the other two wolves gave chase, I saw Bella, writhing in pain as the venom spread.

"…everything."

I hesitated before admitting, "But then, as anguished and guilt ridden as I felt about what happened to your family, I thought about how nothing would be keeping me from you anymore, since you were as immortal and indestructible as I." I chuckled darkly, humorlessly. "Your not wanting to be with me didn't factor in much to my desire to be with you again."

Bella tilted her head to look at me curiously, obviously at a loss as to what had brought that note to my voice.

"I had forever to convince you that I love you," I shrugged. "I was afraid, though, if I hadn't convinced you within a couple of centuries…" My throat closed up at the sudden thought of another vampire laying his hands on her, tasting her as I had tasted her, touching her as I had touched her, kissing her, being loved by her. My hands curled into deadly fists, a fact which went entirely unobserved by her.

"A couple of centuries?" Bella asked incredulously. "You would have kept it up for two hundred years?" She was shaking her head, probably at the astonishment and realization that she would be walking the earth for that long and much longer. Eternity was really a difficult concept to wrap one's mind around.

"Longer if you'd let me," I told her honestly. "Though, I am thoroughly grateful that it didn't take that long." I would have kept it up for eternity if that was what was needed. But if any other man had come into the picture I would have snapped, killed him.

I might be patient enough to beg for eternity, but I'm no saint. And there isn't a vampire alive who would tolerate his woman going off with another man –not even Carlisle, as good as he is.

Disregarding any unsettling emotions she might have observed crossing my face Bella snorted in disbelief. "Well, now I feel like a total schmuck for forgiving you so quickly. I should have strung you along for a decade or two at the very least," she teased. "You got off way too easy, Edward," she giggled.

"Believe me," I told her earnestly. "I know. Really, Bella, I'm grateful, eternally grateful, for your forgiveness. I will spend every second of forever earning it."

"You won't get tired of me after a century or so?" she asked playfully. I pulled on Bella's hand to stop her from walking.

"Isabella," I said sternly. "I've been alive for over a century already, but I hadn't even begun to live until I met you." I captured her face in my hands. "This right here, what we have now, is my reason for living. You are my life, and I will never grow tired of you." I brushed my lips against hers. "Never." Bella smiled and leaned in to kiss me again. "Now, if you were to grow tired of me," I hedged.

Bella shook her head. "I really don't think that's going to happen. It's…completely inconceivable."

"Good," I nodded in satisfaction. "Now that we have that settled." I kissed Bella once more. "Let's go see the family. They're waiting for us at the dock." I laughed. The dock was about two miles away, but I could hear Alice's impatient thoughts already.

Stop hogging her, Edward! I WANT TO SEE MY SISTER!

"Alice will probably dismember me if I keep you from her much longer," I chuckled. "She's probably already got the fire going as well. Are you ready?"

Bella nodded as a wide grin spread across her face. "Yep," she replied as we both took off running.

When we were within a mile, I knew Alice was running to meet us. Bella turned to look at me a second and smiled when she caught Alice's scent. A minute later I heard Alice yell, "Bella!" and a loud crash as Alice's tiny frame collided with Bella's.

There was a blur of spiky black hair and long dark brown hair going around in a circle as Alice embraced Bella and spun her round.

Bella's laughter was music to my ears, making me laugh right along with her.

After a couple minutes, they calmed down to the point where there were two distinct bodies again. Alice handed me Bella's suitcase so that I was now carrying hers and mine, while taking Bella's hand and running off toward the boat where the rest of the family was waiting.

I chuckled again letting Alice have her way for now. I knew they were anxious to see Bella. I caught up in a few minutes anyway.

As I approached the pier I heard Esme's mind. She was hugging Bella but not bombarding Bella with her thoughts. Oh my darling, Bella. She's so beautiful and so strong. I have my daughter again.

The rest of Esme's thoughts went along in that same vein, feeling so awful for what Bella and her family had gone through. She wanted to shoulder Bella's grief over the loss of her entire family for her. That was pretty much what the rest of my family was thinking as well as they waited for their turn to greet Bella after initially noticing just how beautiful Bella was now as an immortal being.

_Bella seems strong emotionally and mentally. Everything between you two has been cleared up?_ Carlisle asked me.

I nodded my affirmation and Carlisle nodded his approval. But he knew there was something I wanted to tell him. _We'll speak soon_, he told me.

The family still didn't know that not only did Victoria turn Bella, but that she killed Bella's parents as well. I wasn't sure if Bella was up to telling them the story yet or if at all.

"Thanks for waiting for me," I said to Alice once I approached the boat. She stuck her tongue out at me because she was such a mature, decades old vampire. "Shall we get going?"

We all boarded the boat and set off for the island. We sat in silence in the main cabin for what seemed like minutes. No one was sure where to start. I looked to Jasper.

_She's a little nervous, Edward, but she seems all right otherwise. Do you know…does she blame me?_

I shook my head. I honestly didn't think that Bella held any ill will toward Jasper or anyone else for that matter.

Bella was sitting next to me. She turned to look at me. "What are you two talking about?" she asked Jasper and me. She was very perceptive.

"Bella," Jasper started apprehensively, "I never got to apologize for…"

"Oh," Bella interrupted. "No, Jasper. You were forgiven that same night. Before I even left the house! Please don't apologize for a…perfectly natural reaction. I'm sorry I couldn't open a present without injuring myself." Bella shrugged. Jasper smiled and mouthed a thank you to her. "You'll be happy to know that I am infinitely less clumsy and accident prone now," she smiled. That cut through the tension in the room as everyone laughed quietly along with Bella.

"Damn. So no more tripping on air, Bells?" Emmett asked with a big grin. "How will you entertain me now?"

"She can beat you up now," Alice told him, giving Bella a wink of her eye.

"Psshhh, stop talking crazy, Pixie." Emmett waved Alice off.

Jasper and I laughed. I couldn't wait for Bella to take Emmett down a peg or ten.

"All that can wait," Esme said. "Right now, I want to hear about Bella. How have you been? And…" Esme bit her lip. "I just want to tell you how very sorry we all are to have heard about your family, dear."

Bella dropped her gaze as I looked to Jasper, willing him to send some calm Bella's way.

I pulled Bella a little tighter to me. "I'm not sure now is the right time to…"

"No, Edward," Bella interrupted me, placing a hand on my knee. "I can talk about it now. They should know," she said nodding her head in the direction of the rest of my family.

**A/N There's your little glimpse of the fam. There's more to come, of course. Gotta get through some stuff before we get to the fun. Shoot me a line would you? Click below and review. Give me a little something to read while I try to study for a midterm. Tests! Blah! **


	18. Family Talk

**A/N I still don't own Twilight or New Moon. Stephenie Meyer does.**

**Thanks for hanging in there for an update. It did give people time to catch up on some reading though, right? Thanks to tru (dot) light for her review-a-thon, and welcome to any new readers from Twilighted. Thanks to my Phantom beta/Pinja who squeezed me into her schedule and tightened up my writing. Speaking of Phantom, she wanted to say something to you all (this is me rolling my eyes).**

**B/N: Um, hi, readers. This is Phantom, MJ's beta. I wanted to apologise for how late this chapter is. If it were up to MJ it would've been up a week ago. So any hate mail, complaints etc. needs to come to me. You'll find me via her fave authors (why I'm there I'm not entirely certain, but there you go).**

**A/N It's me again. She's crazy. Like you'd send her hatemail right? It's all good. In any case, you see, only I'm allowed to berate her. She's my minion, after all. Anyhoo, without further ado, here's chapter 18 for you to GREAR. Oh yeah, and check to see if your guess for the teaser's pov was correct--some of you DID guess correctly (and on the first try!)**

**Chapter 18: Family Talk**

**Rosalie PoV**

I was shocked. We all were when we first laid eyes on Bella as she and Alice came barreling toward the dock hand in hand.

"Whoa!" Emmett, Jasper and I breathed at the same time. Carlisle looked on with wide eyes while Esme gasped as her hand flew to cover her mouth.

Bella was…stunning.

She had always been rather pretty-ish, in a rather unassuming sort of way when she was human, but one of the perks of being a vampire? Everything good was enhanced. Her hair and her lips contrasted beautifully against her light and translucent skin tone. Bella's mahogany locks were so long and shiny. Her caramel eyes, the trademark of our diet, suited her, and her lips were not only full and pouty, but the loveliest shade I'd ever seen. The natural hue was a combination of coral, pink, red and brown that I'd never even come across even in a tube of lipstick before.

Though she was no taller than five foot two or three, her legs looked about seventeen miles long in her dark wash denim. Another perk of being a vampire? Everything less than perfect, her balance for example, was eliminated. This Bella was actually nimble and graceful.

Obviously she wasn't anywhere near my beauty, but still, damn. Who knew she had it in her?

"She hasn't tripped once," Emmett commented sounding equal parts awed and disappointed as Alice and Bella approached us.

They were smiling and laughing as if not a day had gone by that they hadn't seen each other when actually it'd been a lifetime.

A lifetime only in as much as Bella had lost her humanity since we last saw her. We left Forks soon after the dreadful night of her eighteenth birthday. I balked at having to leave our home, but Edward was adamant. We had ruined Bella's life enough. We'd put her in danger for the last time. We owed it to her to give her a normal life. Blah, blah, blah. He'd never thought about what we'd have to go through. I really loathed moving around. It took forever to get my stuff arranged –and that was at vampire speed.

Edward was such a blind, egotistical idiot. I'd never truly disliked Bella, not after she had changed Edward for the better anyway. She'd stopped him moping around the house for one. I had so much more time alone with Emmett when Edward was with her all the time.

I could even see what Edward found so attractive in her. Obviously it wasn't her beauty –he'd turned me down, not that I'd have had him- but her bravery was…admirable.

I just could never understand why she wanted to give up her human life. She had so much potential. She could live, grow old…have children. Not with Edward of course, but still. She had endless possibilities, a bright and fruitful future. Something I wanted so desperately but wouldn't ever have. And there she was, ready to throw it all away. But as much as I questioned everything about her, I felt for her, and I knew our moving wouldn't work out for anyone.

But no, Edward must always have his way. He'd decided it all. Made decisions for everyone, and we had to stand by and endure whatever discomfort or annoyance in giving in to him. He insisted that our discomfort was nothing compared to what we'd done to Bella. We'd kept her on the precipice of peril for far too long.

I knew when Edward had even broached the subject of our moving that it wouldn't do any good. You didn't need to be a clairvoyant like Alice to figure this one out.

You only needed to have known true love.

But my brother was blind. Sure he loved Bella and wanted more than anything to be with her. He convinced himself that he loved Bella enough to let her go, despite the torment he'd put himself through by leaving.

And he did experience torment.

He was unbearable to be around. He was miserable, angry, bitter, and insufferable. He was right in his assessment, however. It was nothing compared to what Bella suffered of course. His existence post-Bella was nowhere near the suffering and pain his Bella had endured. All for what? His own conscience? His superhero tendencies to keep her safe?

She was madly, deeply, and irrevocably in love with him. Edward knew Bella loved him. Anyone would have been a fool not to have noticed. Oh, but my brother grossly underestimated the human's feelings. He was determined to believe she'd forget about him and be able to move on.

Could he not see how he had changed Bella and kept her safe while we were in Forks? I shouldn't have been surprised though. Edward usually overreacted and always thought of the worst case scenario. He thought she'd die in some tragic fashion if we were to stay in Forks any longer.

No one except for Alice, I assumed, knew what Edward told Bella the day he left her in the woods. And maybe Alice didn't even know for sure, for no one spoke of it. But whatever story he conjured up, I knew it would cause Bella immense pain just because I knew how she felt about Edward.

Our leaving would never, could never, change her feelings. Ever. That was clear. Anyone who'd known true love would understand this. But left we did, and now we fully learned the horror of what we'd done.

Upon seeing Bella for the first time at the dock, I stood by quietly as everyone greeted her with hugs and kisses. I merely nodded and smiled slightly, and she did the same. I sensed her discomfort with me.

I couldn't blame her, really. I'd never shown any affection toward her. Ever. Why would I? I couldn't deny my annoyance with her at first. She was a menace to our family. She threatened our quiet and easy lives in Forks, a place I'd actually grown fond of. I might even admit to some pique over the fact that Edward could possibly want her when he'd never wanted me. But once I realized how she'd changed our brooding brother into someone tolerable, happy even, I couldn't begrudge her a place in the family.

Still, while Emmett was completely amused by her humanness and showed his big brother like affection towards Bella, I couldn't do the same. I mean, she was sweet, I suppose. And her clumsy ways were somewhat endearing, but I never showed overt affection to her, or anyone really, save for Emmett. I supposed I could be an intimidating figure in that sense, but I couldn't help how others perceive me. I am who I am.

But listening to Bella recount what happened to her parents and learning that it was Victoria that murdered them was heart wrenching. I guess that even Alice had no idea about it either since she instantly flitted over to Bella's side.

It was hard to watch and listen to Bella as she told us how she found out what Victoria did. She had barely been able to process what happened to her father before learning about what Victoria and Laurent did to Renee and Phil. She couldn't even grieve properly. Victoria had attacked her and turned her.

We had left her unprotected.

I felt pretty awful. Clearly I wasn't the only one. Emmett kept shaking his head in disbelief, his jaw set. I could tell he was angry. At Edward or at Victoria? I wasn't sure. Esme's right hand remained on her chest, over the spot where her heart would have been beating. I knew she, too, wanted to be next to Bella to comfort her, support her, but Alice and Edward were already there on either side. Alice was holding Bella's hand while Edward was stroking Bella's back absentmindedly staring at the floor. His jaw was clenched as well. He and Bella must have talked extensively about all of this already because, if I knew my brother, he'd be berating himself over all the decisions he'd made that set all this horror in motion. But he was sitting there, clearly angry but not flying off the handle as he was apt to do.

Carlisle and Jasper remained the calmest. It was most likely because Carlisle was trying to take it all in and keep up a strong front for the rest of us. I was sure he was going to talk to Bella one on one sometime soon, though, to really make sure she was all right.

Jasper was occupied with sending out soothing waves to everyone. He was trying to anyway. It wasn't really working because he was also absorbing our emotions: sympathy, anger, guilt, anxiety, sadness. Those were what flowed through me during that time. I couldn't imagine how overwhelmed Jasper was with deflecting everyone else's emotions as well.

I felt compelled to be near Bella too, to offer her my sympathy, but I remained where I was, seated next to Emmett. I grabbed his hand instead.

Sure she had originally wanted to become one of us. She dreamed of it, but what happened to her and how it happened…Bella did not choose this.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," I whispered. She heard me though. Everyone did.

**BPoV**

I was more than just a little surprised to hear Rosalie voice her sympathy. She'd barely spoken two sentences to me the entire time that I'd known her, but here, upon hearing about my parents, she looked as beautiful as ever, but greatly saddened. Like a grieving angel.

I looked around at everyone. They all looked like Rosalie did. It was a heartbreaking scene. They should never look this forlorn. It wasn't right.

Did they really need to know? Probably not. But I knew they wanted to know all that happened after they left Forks and how I became like them. I knew Alice filled them in on the train derailment and Victoria turning me, but they didn't know what led up to that.

When Esme and then Rosalie said how sorry they were, about my parents, it took all the strength I had not to break down. I wanted to, but I really didn't want any more pity than what they were already showing me. I saw their tortured looks. They were repentant and remorseful. It could have been for any number of reasons. They may have felt bad for leaving without so much as a goodbye, for my being an orphan now.

"I'm sorry. Should I stop?" I asked timidly to no one in particular. I had just finished telling them about my almost having to move to Florida but then not being able to move because of what happened to Renee and Phil.

I spoke about Charlie going with me to Jacksonville to take care of family business and then the train derailment when we were coming back to Forks as well as Laurent and Victoria's roles in what happened to my parents.

I stayed remarkably stable. I was still beyond heartbroken about losing my parents, but I felt stronger with Edward and Alice next to me, and I wanted to not break down in front of everyone. I didn't want them to feel worse.

"If it helps, I'm through the worst part," I offered with a slight, superficial smile. Not really. The worst part for me was believing that I'd been condemned to an eternity of solitude. I had lost everyone I loved and had to leave the only people I thought I had left. That, to me, was worse than death.

Actually, the terrible truth was that losing my parents paled in comparison to being left by Edward. Every time I thought about that my guilt and shame consumed me.

What sort of child gets more cut up about her boyfriend breaking up with her than her parents being horrifically murdered?

"Do you remember any of the transformation?" Carlisle asked, jolting me out of my thoughts.

I shook my head. "Not much. Just from what Jake told me. He took me from wherever Laurent and Victoria had me and carried me to your property. He didn't know it was your property until I awoke three days later. I didn't know until we started exploring. He helped me…"

I thought about my first two weeks as a newborn and all that Jake did for me. He was my rock.

"…a lot."

I laughed a little as I thought about his disgust over my rabbit carnage the first time I "hunted."

"What is it?" Emmett asked curiously, probably wondering what humor I could find in all of this. I told them about my first hunting experience as the demonic Snow White. They sat in silence, looking a bit stunned. Stunned was better than sad at least.

"Cue the laughter, Emmett," I smirked a little, fully expecting him to crack wise.

Emmett looked at me like I was crazy. "Uh, why would I laugh, Bells?" he asked in all seriousness.

"Because, how sad is it that I destroyed a whole bushel of bunnies on my first hunt?" I made air quotes with my free hand upon saying the word hunt. "It's pathetic, I know."

Emmett furrowed his brow as he responded. "Bella, you were a newborn all by yourself. I'd say you did pretty well for yourself. Well, I mean, Jake was there but it's not like he knows what it's like. And he's lucky to be alive really." Emmett sighed and shook his head.

"What Emmett is trying to say," Carlisle interjected, "is that we're all impressed here, first, because of how you didn't kill Jacob as werewolves and vampires are enemies."

I gasped at the idea of killing Jacob. "The thought never even crossed my mind," I whispered shaking my head.

"How about drinking from him?" Jasper asked. "Hunting to sate your thirst would have been the natural thing to do and seeing as Jake was right there…"

I made a face. "Yuck! He stinks. Didn't you smell him at my house?" I shuddered causing everyone to laugh.

"But the thirst," Esme said. "How did you handle the thirst, dear?"

I shrugged. "The rabbits, sad as they were, did the job for a day or so before I worked up the nerve to kill a deer."

"But people, Bella. Humans…" Emmett asked looking bewildered and somewhat exasperated.

"What about them?" I asked.

"Didn't you want to…" Emmett drifted off again.

I shook my head. "Not really," I answered honestly. "I tried to remember that that's what Victoria and Laurent wanted to do to my parents and I…just couldn't do that to someone else's family. There was just no way. In any case, I kept my distance from humans so as not to tempt myself. And then when I ran through towns and highways exploring my strength and speed, I just held my breath. I only allowed myself enough air in order to smell so I could find my way back home. I mean, your house." I bit my lip remembering my trespass. "Sorry, I just let myself in with the key Alice gave me. I, uh, didn't think you'd mind?" I added sheepishly.

"Of course not, dear," Esme smiled. "I'm just glad Alice thought to give you a key."

I looked at Alice. "Me too," I smiled. Alice gave my hand a squeeze. "Oh, that reminds me." I grabbed Alice to pull her in for a hug and I kissed her cheek. "Thank you for the fully stocked bathroom. I went ahead and took a shower in your bathroom."

Alice giggled. "You know that's fine, but, uh, weren't you planning on throttling me or something too?"

I laughed. "I'm not really going to throttle you, Alice," I said rolling my eyes.

"No. I believe you had decided to kiss me, throttle me, and then give me another kiss. In that order," she teased.

I laughed. "Wow, you are good." Everyone was looking on curiously. "The first kiss was for the fully stocked bathroom. The throttling was for the hotel trap—the whole Mr. and Mrs. Cullen thing. And the second kiss was for my new identification. I love it," I said beaming at her.

"I knew you would," she said clapping her hands. "And I knew you'd secretly like the Mr. and Mrs. Cullen thing."

I shook my head. "I was pretty annoyed actually."

"No way!" Alice countered in disbelief.

"Edward?" I asked for backup.

"She was annoyed," he nodded in confirmation. Edward looked in my eyes with the smallest hint of a smile on his face. "But not now," he said quietly, seeming to speak only to me.

I gazed back at him. "No, not now," I agreed.

Someone cleared his throat, I think it was Emmett, bringing us out of our little bubble. We all looked at Emmett.

"So you were at the house…" he prodded me to continue. "And you decided to come find us?" he asked.

I shook my head. "Not exactly. I knew I had to leave Forks, but I wasn't sure where I was going to go. I was thinking Alaska or Canada but then I came across something in Carlisle's study." I looked at Carlisle and winced. "Sorry I went digging through your library," I apologized sheepishly.

Carlisle merely laughed warmly. "It's fine, Bella. What did you find in my study?"

"A scrapbook that Esme put together, and in it was a picture of a beach house and a map with an island off of the coast here circled. Isle Esme." I smiled remembering my incredulity over Carlisle purchasing an entire island for his wife.

"And that's when you decided to come here?" Emmett asked.

"Sort of," I hedged. "I was still very hesitant, but Jake encouraged me to find you."

"Why were you hesitant?" Alice asked looking a bit hurt about my hesitance.

I didn't want to answer. It was something I wanted to forget, and I didn't want to make any of them feel badly.

Edward's hand tensed for a moment on my back before he returned to rubbing small circles there.

"You don't have to spare our feelings, Bella," Jasper told me. I felt calmer right after he said that. I was never so grateful for Jasper's gift.

"Well, I wasn't sure if you…wanted me to find you. You know, since you left without saying anything," I answered quietly, scared to look them, any of them, in the eye.

After what seemed like a minute of silence, I bit my bottom lip nervously and chanced a look up, making eye contact with Esme and Carlisle. They seemed to be the safest ones to look at.

"But I'm relieved that you were all so welcoming to me after…everything," I said with a sigh. "So thank you. Edward said you'd be happy to see me." I mustered the most genuine smile I could at that moment despite the pain and hurt that had resurfaced from my retelling of events. "And I'm…unbelievably happy to be here with you." I looked over at Emmett and Rosalie, holding Rosalie's gaze a moment. "All of you." I smiled at her, and, to my astonishment, she smiled back at me.

**EPoV**

I wanted to jump in and speak while Bella told my family the events leading up to her change. I wanted to apologize over and over and over again for leaving, for making my whole family leave, for the fate of her parents as well as for the human life that was stolen from her. But of course, Bella knew how remorseful I felt. I was sure my entire family was aware of how sorry I was. Not that that stopped them from assaulting me with their thoughts.

_She's been through so much in so little time. I'm sure she's hurting more than she's letting on_, were Carlisle's thoughts.

Esme was in awe of Bella's poise and confidence despite being a newborn on her own, with no guidance whatsoever except the help her teen wolf friend.

Emmett was swearing continuously in his mind. _Fuck! Fuck! I can't believe we left her all alone! She lost her whole family! Fuck! If Victoria and Laurent hadn't been destroyed already, I'd go after them myself!_

Alice was shocked of course to learn that Victoria was behind Renee's alleged gas leak and saddened to hear that Bella didn't know if the family wanted to see her. _I can't believe we made her feel unwanted! Dammit, Edward!_

Even Rosalie was shaken by Bella's story. And as much as she never understood Bella's point of view on wanting to be a vampire, she knew that the way it happened was not the way Bella would have chosen, obviously. _I knew it wasn't right to leave,_ she thought pointedly.

I couldn't get mad at her though because her next thought was to comfort Bella too. She didn't, though, because she was unsure of how Bella would react to her. I made a mental note to thank Rose later for her sympathy and intentions toward Bella. That was uncharacteristically kind of her. I knew deep down Rose was a good person, but she didn't often let us see her gentler side. Or perhaps I just annoyed her most of the time so she never showed me that side of her except when we talked cars.

Jasper, of course, was busy trying to calm everyone down, including himself. He felt guilty as it was but compound everyone else's guilt and sadness and anger on top of his and he was left with a perfect storm of emotions.

Finally, Esme could contain herself no longer. She got up and was pulling Bella up from her place next to me on the couch and into a tight embrace.

"Oh, my Bella," she cried. "We will always want you. You are a part of this family. Please believe me."

"Thank you, Esme," Bella choked out, strangled by her emotions.

"You belong with us!" Alice cried as she joined them in the hug. _And we're never letting her go again, Edward. Next time you pull a stunt like that we'll leave you behind and take her with us._

Rosalie wanted to join them but was once again uncertain. I caught her eye and nodded my reassurance. She shot a small, thankful smile in return as she got up and joined the group hug. "You're our sister now," she whispered to Bella.

It was quite a scene. I felt overwhelming joy at seeing Bella embraced so fully, literally and metaphorically, by my family.

Jasper nodded at me. _There's nothing but love in this room_, he smiled approvingly.

_This is as it should be, son_, Carlisle thought as he came over and patted my shoulder.

_This is kind of hot_.

I rolled my eyes at Emmett. He could always be counted on for an inappropriate thought or comment.

_But it's also awesome. Thanks for bringing us our little sister, Eddie_. He grinned at me. _Way to redeem yourself_.

I merely saluted in response.

The sun was rising as we approached the island. Once the group hug disbanded we were able to discuss _more fun things_, as Alice put it.

"Bells, I can't believe you haven't killed anyone yet. Even accidentally," Emmett mused, sounding somewhat annoyed. "It's kind of not fair."

"Yeah, really," Jasper griped. He still struggled with our diet and pretty much only stuck to it because of Alice.

**BPoV**

"Well, I came close in Arizona," I confessed. "There was this guy at the mall. Edward told me he was my…singer? I guess he didn't appeal to me the same way I had appealed to Edward, but he was still my singer." I shrugged. "Anyway, I really wanted to drink from him, but…"

"Wait. He was your singer?" Emmett asked incredulously. "And you didn't take him?"

I shook my head. "I wanted to. I did. I had it all planned out in my head too, but Edward helped and I regained control so we headed back into the mall. But he sure did smell good," I said wistfully.

"How did you know he was Bella's singer?" Carlisle asked Edward. "He didn't smell the same to you."

"No, he didn't appeal to me, like Bella said. His blood did sing to Bella though. She showed me," Edward answered.

Everyone but Alice was staring at Edward. Edward, in turn, looked at me.

"Oh, yeah," I said. "So, I guess I have a gift or something."

Then everyone's eyes were on me again willing me to explain. It was really a good thing that I could no longer blush.

"You know how Edward can't hear my thoughts usually? Well, I have a…mental shield that I can occasionally lift and I can then let Edward hear my mind," I explained to their blank stares. "Oh, and I was able to see some of Zafrina's visions but for only a short time. That was really interesting," I added brightly.

"So Edward was able to smell what you smelled?" Carlisle asked for clarification.

Edward and I both nodded.

"Remarkable," Carlisle commented. "Can you expand your shield to others?"

I nodded. "Kind of. I've been working on that actually. It takes a lot of concentration. I'd show you, but I don't think I'm up for it right now," I confessed.

"Of course," Carlisle said. "Whenever you're feeling up for it."

I smiled my thanks.

"And I'll try to ignore the fact that Edward allowed you near the man in the mall after knowing you were so close to losing control." Carlisle gave Edward a somewhat disapproving look to which Edward made an apologetic and slightly sheepish face.

"Don't blame Edward, Carlisle. He knew you wouldn't like that we didn't just leave the mall, but I was regaining control and I knew I wouldn't kill the man. Edward trusted me, and I wanted to prove to myself that I was all right around people so then we could fly in a plane and see you guys," I smiled at the end of my explanation. I didn't know if sweet talk worked on Carlisle.

It did.

I could practically see him melt. It was just like when I was a kid and Charlie caught me with my hand in the cookie jar. I'd given him big-big eyes, smiled and he'd let me get away with it.

Five times.

"Well, luckily you were in control. Edward must have been convinced of it because he's usually more cautious than that," Carlisle replied.

Edward and his caution, huh? I smiled as I thought about our trysts. He seemed to have thrown it to the wind when we were in the Amazon as well. Edward must have thought the same thing because he caught my eye and winked.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we know you're strong thirstwise, Bells, but what's all the crazy pixie crack talk about your being able to beat me up?"

Edward and Jasper shook their heads.

"Don't do it, Emmett," Edward warned. But I had a suspicion Edward warned Emmett only to egg him on to goad me further.

Emmett snorted, "I'm sorry, little one, but even as a newborn you're no match for me."

"What'd you have in mind, Emmett?" I asked through narrowed eyes.

"I don't know. A foot race? A swim?"

"I'm a little insulted you can't be more creative than that," I smiled. Rosalie, Edward, Alice, and Jasper all oooohed at my response while Carlisle and Esme laughed.

"Don't make me throw you overboard, kid," Emmett joked and faked a move to grab me and pick me up.

"Oh, is that what we're doing?" I asked as I faked a move as well, making Emmett flinch a bit. His reflexes were no match for mine. I didn't know how much longer I'd be stronger and quicker than Emmett, but I'd take full advantage of it now.

"No way you can throw me overboard," Emmett challenged.

The others laughed as we circled each other.

"It's not a question of _whether_ Bella can throw you overboard, Emmett…" Edward pointed out.

"It's a question of _how far_ will she throw you," Alice grinned.

"Crazy talk again," Emmett scoffed.

That did it.

"What the—"

I only had to fake left and then right once before I made purchase on Emmett's body, picking him up by his waist and holding him over my head. And just as I pictured myself doing, I spun him around over my head, like a superhero in one of those movies. Or like a TV wrestler.

Yeah, I could totally be The Rock.

"Rosalie, may I?" I asked.

"Please do," she smiled her newly established, sisterly approval.

"What? Aww, come on, babe!" Emmett called back to his wife as I took a couple strides over to the railing and then chucked him into the Atlantic towards where the sun was rising, dragging my right toe as I followed through on it like a throw-in in soccer.

We ultimately heard a splash and some choice swear words. I actually couldn't make out exactly what Emmett was whining about over the high-fives everyone else, including Esme and Carlisle, were giving me.

Yes, tormenting Emmett would definitely be fun. For everyone with the exception Emmett, of course, though I suspected he was having fun too.

**A/N Hope you enjoyed. Click below and let me know. Have a lovely weekend!**


	19. The Ol' Heave Ho

**A/N I do not own Twilight or the series. Steph Meyer does. I do, however, have in my possession, tickets to the midnight showing of New Moon tomorrow night. Can't wait! Sorry if it's not playing yet where you live.**

**Okay, so there's this thing called Twilight Fandom Gives Back and MrsAC is putting together a recipebook to sell/auction for charity. She asked me to submit a recipe so in said book is my recipe for the Atomic Flamingo drink that Emmett made in The Daily Grind (using IEWIS Emmett's bathroom whiskey). Here's info on the book:**

**$20 for a .pdf version of "Love Bites" a fandom cookbook containing over 100 recipes.**

**Recipes from: tby789, lolashoes, ninapolitan, mskathy, moi aka eddiescherry, Melissa228, VJGM, LillieCullen, and many many more! OVER 100 RECIPES FROM THROUGHOUT THE FANDOM!!! **

**Yes, yours truly is part of the "many, many, many more" crew mentioned there, so check it out! The link is on my profile at the top.**

**Okay, here's the next chapter for you to GREAR. Thanks to phantom for fitting me in between her physics exams and sprinkling her voodoo beta dust on this chapter! Good luck on the next exam!**

**Chapter 19: The Ol' Heave Ho**

**BPoV**

By the time we got to shore, so had Emmett. He was perched on a beach chair, his arms and face sparkling in the morning sunlight, his clothes still damp.

"How was your little swim, Emmett?" I asked brightly as we all approached him. I wasn't the only one grinning. The entire family was, Emmett included.

"I let you, you know?" Emmett informed me smugly. It must've taken him a while to come up with that smart alec response. "I wanted you to feel like you were doing well, Bells."

Jasper snorted while a symphony of bell-like laughter trilled from Alice, Rosalie, and Esme.

I rolled my eyes at Emmett as I chuckled alongside the others. I looked at Edward who shook his head, confirming what we all knew.

I pointed to Edward as I spoke to Emmett. "Mind reader, remember?"

Emmett scowled. "Fine," he conceded. "But this isn't the end of it, Bells," he promised through a narrowed gaze softened by his evil, dimpled smile. There was no trace of malice or disdain in his voice.

"Oh, I'm well aware of that fact, Emmett. This is only the beginning. I highly anticipate an eternity of throwing you into the Atlantic."

"Yeah, right," he scoffed.

"Or Pacific, or Indian, or any other body of water handy," I continued as if he hadn't spoken.

Alice clapped, her face lit up with a gleeful smile. "Oh, this will be _so_ fun to watch."

Emmett scowled at his sister, "You're next to go in, pixie. I know whose side you're on. And you," Emmett sneered playfully at Rosalie. "Et tu, babe? Et tu?"

Rosalie merely waved him off. "Drama queen," she muttered.

"Welcome to Isle Esme," I heard Carlisle say above the rest of the family's laughter. "You can throw Emmett into the ocean anytime."

"Dang!" Emmett complained, shaking his head in disbelief. "Is everyone against me? Esme?" he begged, "Mom, you're with me right?" he sneakily played the maternal card in an attempt to garner Esme's sympathies, a ploy which failed miserably.

Esme smiled ruefully at Emmett. "Well, dear. It was pretty funny to see little Bella throw you." Emmett made a face. "I'd like to try too, I think." She added thoughtfully, sizing him up with a wicked gleam in her eye.

I laughed. Now that was a funny thing to picture, Esme chucking Emmett. I hoped to witness that sometime soon. First, though, I wanted to get a hold of Jake to let him know I was with the Cullens.

I looked to Edward to ask where I could charge my phone back up, when Alice handed hers to me, preempting my request.

"Here. Use mine. Tell the kid I said hi."

I smiled. "Of course." I dialed Jake's number without really thinking about it. I was reminded of what time it was in Washington, though, when he answered. We were a couple hours ahead so I was waking him up. I grimaced at the realization. "Sorry, Jake," I apologized.

"'S okay," he answered groggily. "You okay?"

I smiled, even though he couldn't see me. "Yes, I am. I'm doing really well actually." And I was. My heart, so shattered and broken that it seemed past any hope of repair, was whole again. My future, which had, only days ago, looked so bleak, lonely, and terrifying, was now to be filled with joy, laughter, and _family_.

Even when my parents had been alive I'd never had much of a family. I'd never had an older brother to help me and take care of me.

Now I had two.

I hadn't had sisters to take me around shopping, to gossip with, to borrow clothes and jewelry from.

I had them now.

My mother, sweet, flighty Renée, had never been the maternal type, the sort of mother who would cook and cosset. I had been more of a mother to her than the other way around.

But now I had Esme, and it would be hard to find a more motherly woman.

Carlisle, approachable, wise, experienced…he would be my father now.

Edward…

Everyone gets sick of their families from time to time. They need time apart, an absence to allow the heart room to grow fonder.

Edward would be my getaway. We could spend weeks –or months, or years, or even _decades_- together, alone and away from the family. I would never grow tired of him, of that I was certain. He would be my everything.

Jake's sleep roughened voice interrupted my awed speculation of my good fortune –could fate truly have been so magnanimous?- as he voiced his approval. "Good. Did you hook up with the rest of them then?"

I answered in the affirmative and proceeded to tell Jake about the wonders of my new life, the Amazon, throwing Emmett into the ocean, the beauty of Isle Esme, and the softness of the sand as I meandered along the beach.

But when I heard Jake yawn I was suddenly overcome with guilt. My ramblings were keeping him from getting his rest. "Oh, I'm so sorry I woke you up, Jake. I know you have to go to school in a bit."

"No, it's fine, Bells," he reassured me, sounding slightly more awake. "It's good to hear from you. Besides, I needed a wake up call. I've been oversleeping lately. How about I call you back after school, though?"

"That's fine, Jake," I assured him before a thought struck me. "Why have you been oversleeping?" I asked curiously.

"Oh, some other bloodsuckers are on the prowl over here. Nothing to worry about. I was just patrolling till three this morning. Haven't found them. I've only smelled them." His voice was entirely casual. Far more casual than the news warranted.

I nearly choked the words spilled out of me so fast. "Wait. What? Who?" I asked stopping in my tracks. Nothing to worry about? Was he _insane_? What the hell was going on? "All the Cullens are _here_," I stressed, before adding "on the island, Jake," just in case he didn't get the point.

"Now don't freak out, Bella. I know it's not the Cullens. It's a few chick leeches and another guy. I don't know. They may just be looking for the one guy we destroyed. The one that took you from the train derailment?"

"Laurent?" I asked bewildered. He had hung out with James and Victoria, but now…well, I supposed that those two weren't the only vampires he could have known. "Jake, be careful," I warned him. "Crap. So much for living a normal life, right?" I asked with a furrowed brow.

"Sure, sure. It'll be fine, Bells. I'll talk to you later, 'kay?"

I let out an exasperated sigh. He still didn't sound anywhere near as worried as the situation warranted. "Okay."

I made my way to the beach house once I'd noticed that no one was on the beach anymore.

"How's the mongrel?" I heard Edward ask as I came inside. "Bella? What's the matter?" he asked when he noticed my frustrated expression. He was immediately in front of me, his hands on my shoulders.

Alice had come over too. I handed the phone back to her, surprised that I hadn't crushed it out of sheer aggravation.

"Jake says there are other vampires around Forks," I told them.

Edward looked at Alice who was now concentrating on a vision.

She was frustrated as well. "I see…the Denali coven…sort of. They keep disappearing, though. Must be the wolves," she said shaking her head. "I can't really see, but…Irina is determined to find…Laurent?"

"How do they even know each other?" I asked no one in particular.

"After James decided to hunt you last year, Bella," Edward answered. "Laurent went to Denali. He must have met them then," he supposed.

"Well, are they dangerous? I mean, Jake and the guys are there," I said sounding worried.

"They wouldn't want to provoke any fighting, I don't think," Edward replied. "Perhaps once they discover that Laurent isn't there, they'll just go back to Alaska."

I thought about that a moment. "In that case shouldn't they be told about what happened to Laurent?" I wondered aloud. "I mean, if I were looking for someone, I'd want to know if the search were futile." I made a face. "But I don't want them to hurt Jake or his friends. They were protecting me." I didn't know how attached to Laurent these people were. They must have been pretty close if they went looking for him. I looked at Edward as a thought hit me. "You think they'd blame me?" I didn't even know them, but I was a little frightened of the thought of a coven of vampires pissed at me.

"Don't worry, Bella," Carlisle told me, as he walked over and placed his hand on my back. "They're friends. I'll give Tanya and Eleazar a call to see what's going on. They'll know that Alice saw them coming."

"In the mean time, why don't you take a look around our island, Bella," Esme suggested. "Edward?" She smiled warmly at me, trying to calm me down and make me feel reassured all at once.

"Of course," Edward replied eagerly. "Shall we?" he asked me, holding out his arm like a conventional 1900's gentleman. I grinned my response as I slipped my arm through his. I couldn't wait to take a proper look around. Carlisle's assurance that the vampires were friends had assuaged the worst of my worries and I really did want to see more of the island.

"I wanna come too," Emmett whined, sounding like the overgrown child he was. I laughed when Edward's chest rumbled with a growl. "Whatever, Ed. Keep on growling. You'll get Bella all to yourself soon enough, bro."

"Yeah," Alice chirped in agreement. I wondered what Emmett and Alice meant by that. Would Edward and I get to stay on the island by ourselves? Unfortunately, I didn't have time to relish in the excitement of that thought. "We want to see her too." Alice grabbed my hand and started pulling me out the door with Edward grimly holding on to my other arm –probably out of fear that if he let go Alice would spirit me away for hours. "Plus, the competition will be more fun this way. Come on, Esme." Alice smiled. She saw something. That was clear. And from the laughter she was trying to suppress, it was rather entertaining.

I looked up at Edward. He was stifling his chuckles as well, making me giggle along, despite the fact that I didn't know what we were laughing about.

I couldn't help myself. When he was happy, I was happy.

"Will I get to throw Emmett?" Esme asked brightly.

"I want to throw him too," Rosalie chimed in.

"Can't we hang out and have fun without it being at my expense?" Emmett wondered aloud following us out onto the beach. "Why not throw these two chumps?" he asked gesturing toward Edward and Jasper.

"Oh, they'll get their share of humiliation as well," Alice assured him. "We're equal opportunity humiliation distributors."

Emmett nodded his approval while I noticed Jasper and Edward looking nervously at each other.

"All right. So what are we doing?" Esme asked.

"Let's see who can throw Emmett the furthest," Alice grinned wickedly, eliciting equally wide grins from the rest of us, except for Emmett of course.

"That's the worst idea ever," Emmett grumbled the same time Rosalie announced fervently that she wanted to go first.

Emmett scowled at Rosalie, who merely looked at him pointedly, defying him to refuse her.

"Fine," he sighed in exasperation as he stood in front of his wife with his arms crossed over his chest.

Rosalie picked him up easily by his waist just as I had on the boat. She threw him head first into the ocean.

"Impressive," I nodded while Jasper and Edward whistled their appreciation.

"Nicely done, Rose," Alice and Esme both clapped.

"That was really fun," Rose smiled evilly. Evidently tossing Emmett would be given a new meaning in her book.

"Me next," Esme grinned. "It might take a while for Emmett to swim back though."

"Um, Alice," Jasper chuckled nervously. "What did you have in mind when you mentioned that Edward and I would be humiliated as well? Are we competing against Bella?"

Alice nodded. "Yes. Your choice of events."

"Hey, don't I get a say?" I protested. I was sure whatever the guys picked, they'd have the advantage.

Alice waved me off. "You've got them beat, Bella. No matter what they pick." I was pleased with the confidence she had in me, but I was still fairly skeptical.

"How about we race around the island while Emmett swims back?" Jasper suggested.

Edward's eyes lit up. He loved to run and we all knew he was fast. I smiled. I knew I was faster though, at least for the time being.

"One time around the entire island?" I asked curiously. I wondered if my new vampire senses would enable me to take in the scenery as I ran at top speed.

Jasper and Edward nodded.

"And no cheating," Edward said pointing at me. He must have remembered me pushing him down at Camelback.

"I wouldn't dream of it," I replied indignantly.

We three lined up side by side and waited for Alice to give us the signal. I laughed at my nervousness when she said go. For a moment, I thought the guys would leave me in the dust, but no. It was I who left them in the dust. I easily ran around the island and got back to Rose, Alice, and Esme a good four seconds before Edward and five and half seconds before Jasper _and_ I got a good view of the island. I wondered if they were holding back.

"Whoa!" Jasper commented once he finished. Edward and he both high-fived me. We raced two more times, and I managed to beat them both each time. I was more than a little skeptical about them both running full force. I regarded both of them through a narrowed gaze while the women cheered.

"What?" Edward asked.

"Were you holding back?" I asked accusingly, voicing my thoughts for my mind reading mate.

Edward shook his head.

"Are you sure?" I asked, still dubious.

"Yeah, because we want to be beaten by a girl," Emmett said. He had made it back to shore during our second race. His voice dripped sarcasm the same way his clothes dripped saltwater. "Who's next?" he asked grumpily. Evidently the novelty of being an oversized throw toy had worn off for him.

Esme raised her hand.

"Emmett, want to race back to shore?" I asked him playfully. I was getting into the competition now. Besides, someone had to cheer the big lug up.

"Who's going to throw you?" he asked before eagerly adding, "Can I?"

I looked around. "Who wants to throw me into the ocean?" I asked laughing, realizing it was the most ridiculous thing I'd ever said in my life.

I looked at Edward. He shook his head. "I don't think so," he said, "I wouldn't feel right doing it," he added, explaining his reluctance. I rolled my eyes at him.

Turning to the next Cullen in view… "Jasper?" I asked.

He, too, declined, as did the women. It seemed Emmett was the only one who didn't feel bad about heaving me into the Atlantic.

"Fine," I said to Emmett. "You throw me, Esme can throw you, and then we'll race back." I closed my eyes and braced myself.

"Sweet!" Emmett grinned. "You're gonna get it now, squirt!" he laughed.

I stayed stiff as a board as Emmett grabbed me, took a running start, and then launched me into the ocean as easily as if I were a javelin. I might have screamed as I flew through the air.

I landed with a huge splash pretty far out. All I could see was the blue water and a small dot of land that was the island. It was actually quite surreal –a thought I'd often had since I'd entered Edward's world.

I stayed there, treading water and waiting for Emmett to land somewhere near me. Sure enough, I heard some screaming -that quite closely resembled my screaming, actually- and then was hit by splashing water.

Emmett was about a hundred feet from where I was.

"Damn!" Emmett swore as he swam over to me.

I had to laugh. Esme was pretty accurate. Definitely impressive.

"Are you too tired to race?" I asked Emmett, deciding not to point out that his 'mom' had just thrown his massive self as far as he'd thrown lil' ole me.

"Hell no!" he scoffed. "You ready, little sister?" he asked while treading water.

I nodded. "Ready? Set?"

"Hey, Bells," Emmett interrupted.

"What?"

"I'm really glad you're here with us," he said sincerely.

"Thanks, Emmett," I smiled. That was so sweet of him to say. "It's good to be…" before I could finish my sentence, though, Emmett screamed GO! And started swimming like crazy for the shore leaving me slack jawed for a moment.

What a cheating jackass!

What a sucker I was to fall for that cheap ruse!

Fortunately, it didn't take me long to catch up and then pass him by. I was tempted to shove him or something, but I knew he'd use that as an excuse for losing…to a girl. I made it to the beach well before he did. Edward had a towel waiting for me.

"Thanks," I smiled as he carefully wrapped it around me, rubbing me down and nuzzling his face into my salty, wet hair.

"You're welcome," he said as he wrapped his arms around me. "Way to go," he added as he winked at me. I noticed that Carlisle came out to the beach and was waiting with us for Emmett to swim back.

"Well done, Bella," Carlisle said as he nodded his approval. "Now tell us. Did Emmett cheat?"

I only laughed my response. Edward was chuckling too as he held me tighter.

"Typical," Jasper scoffed with a smile.

Rosalie shook her head in disdain at her husband as he walked up to us.

"You told?" he accused me.

"We figured it out," Alice defended me. "Real nice, Emmett."

"Whatever. You can't prove anything," Emmett teased. He then looked at me. "It is nice to have you here, Bella. Even if you're kicking our butts at everything."

"Thanks again, Emmett," I smiled. "I'm quite enjoying kicking your butts."

We all began walking back to the house. Carlisle wanted to talk again with the family to report on what he'd learned from his phone call with the Denali coven. Everyone waited while Emmett and I each changed.

My backpack and luggage were in one of the bedrooms where I was able to shower before changing. Edward was waiting for me out on the balcony. He turned when he heard the bathroom door open and I walked out.

He held his arms open for me as I padded over to him.

"That was a fun morning, huh?" I asked into his chest, which was shaking with laughter.

"That it was, love."

"It's lovely here, Edward," I said as we turned our attention to the breathtaking view of the ocean. "Will we get to stay here a little while? Emmett had said…"

Edward kissed the top of my head. "Yes, we can stay here as long as you want, Bella."

I smiled. I wouldn't have minded staying on the island forever. I sighed in contentment.

But then I remembered Carlisle and the phone call. I wondered if Edward knew anything yet. I looked up at him.

"So, what's going on in Forks?" I asked.

Edward looked at me a moment before answering. "Many interesting things, to be sure," he said cryptically.

"Good interesting or bad interesting?" I prodded, knowing just how well Edward could twist his words. I guess it was a leftover reflex from the days when men were brought up to protect women from every little wind of adversity and from 'difficult' information they might not be able to handle.

Barbarians.

He hesitated for a fraction of a second. Had I still been human I would have missed it entirely. I was beginning to wonder just how much I'd missed during my time with Edward. "I'd say…good interesting?"

"You're asking?" I asked. "Is it subjective then?"

"No," he said. "I'd say it is mostly good interesting. Ninety-eight to ninety-nine percent good interesting."

"Ooo-_kay_," I muttered, wondering what the heck he was talking about .

"C'mon, let's go downstairs," Edward urged, kissing me quickly and then tugging my hand.

Everyone was sitting in the living room when we got downstairs. There was a loveseat empty so Edward and I sat there.

"Welcome to another family meeting, Bella," Carlisle said with a warm smile. I gave a small smile in thanks. "So, I spoke to Eleazar and Tanya and have learned…some interesting things."

I nudged Edward when Carlisle said interesting. This had to be good.

"First off, Bella, you left Forks indefinitely so that your friend Jacob and his tribe could live normally?"

"Yes," I nodded. "He said that the only reason they turned into wolves was because vampires were around. You guys were already gone so I thought if I took myself out of the equation they could be normal."

Carlisle nodded as well. "Would you like to see him again?"

I furrowed my brow. What was Carlisle getting at? "Well, sure, but it would defeat the whole purpose of my leaving wouldn't it?"

"Yes," Carlisle agreed. "That was quite a sacrifice for you to make, Bella, and I thought that since it was your wish for Jacob to live and age normally, it should be our wish too, since you're a part of this family." Carlisle smiled. "So we're no longer keeping the house in Forks." Carlisle looked around, as did I. No one seemed surprised or upset about giving up the house. "We're going to head back to Washington to start packing. You and Edward are more than welcome to join us now or you can join us in a couple of days if you'd like to spend some more time here on the island?"

I turned to look at Edward. He merely shrugged. "It's your call, Bella."

"It'll take at least a week to get everything in Washington settled so we'll still be there and you can see Jacob again before we leave again for…well, we have our choice of locales don't we?"

Wow, it was becoming clear what life was going to be like now. The thought of spending an eternity with Edward and his family sent a thrill through me. Who was I kidding? Anything that had to do with spending time with Edward sent a thrill through me. And the idea of having the entire island to ourselves for a couple of days was _very_ enticing...

"I'd like to stay here a little longer, if that's okay," I finally answered, though I did want to see Jake before I left him forever -_again_. Edward and I could go back and join the others after the weekend.

"Aww yeah," Emmett grinned at Edward and me. Edward smirked a little, and I was never more thankful for the inability to blush. Thank goodness everyone else ignored Emmett's outburst.

"What did you learn talking to Eleazar and Tanya?" Alice asked.

"It seems that Irina and Laurent were mates," Carlisle announced.

I made a face. "You mean they were…married?" I asked.

"Kind of," Edward replied. "They were bonded much like married couples. Like how everyone else here has a mate. Their bond was that strong."

I thought that over. "Then why would he leave her to help Victoria?" I wondered aloud.

"Laurent told Irina he'd return after taking care of some business in Forks," Carlisle answered. The destruction and murder of my family being the business Laurent was referring to. "And when he never returned, Irina went to look for him enlisting the help of her coven.

"Had they met up with any of the wolves?" Jasper asked. "Do they know what ultimately happened to Laurent?"

"No, they hadn't met the wolves yet. They smelled them and were very wary of them. No, they didn't know what happened to Laurent. After feeling out how Eleazar and Tanya felt about Laurent, I told them what happened to you and your family, Bella. Save for Irina, the rest of the coven never liked Laurent. Therefore, all of them, except Irina, know about the wolves and how they saved you after what Laurent and Victoria did, at least, they will soon enough. Eleazar and Tanya understand completely the situation and hold no ill will towards the pack or to us. They're informing the others, but they're going to wait to tell Irina, however. She's always been…rash."

"You think Irina would try to hurt Jake and the others?" I asked, terrified for Jake and his wolf friends.

"Don't worry, Bella. Eleazar and the others are keeping a close watch on Irina. They are aware of your bond with Edward and will keep Irina from harming those that protected you. We'll head back to meet with our friends and tell Irina then. They are going back to Denali but will return to Forks again in two days. You and Edward don't need to rush back though. Don't feel like you have to."

I blew out a sigh of relief. Carlisle was amazing. He truly took care of everyone.

"Wait, wait, wait. Tanya's aware of Edward and Bella's bond and she's totally cool with it?" Emmett asked in disbelief.

I threw a curious look over at Emmett wondering what he meant by that statement. Rosalie smacked the back of Emmett's head, wiping the smile of amusement off his face.

I noticed the rest of the family shaking their heads infinitesimally.

"Why?" I asked with some trepidation. A female vampire who shouldn't be cool with Edward's bond to me? Did that mean what I thought it meant? "What do you mean, Emmett?" I demanded, seeking elucidation.

"Uh, nothing, Bella. I'm just being stupid. You know me. Anyway, we're heading back today then, Carlisle?" Emmett asked changing the subject.

It couldn't have been more obvious if he'd just come straight out and said he wanted to get off the subject.

I glanced at Edward. He shook his head. "It's nothing. I'll tell you later." I nodded. I was holding him to that.

"I should tell Jake, though, about Irina," I said, practically to myself. The rest of her coven seemed to be all right. I checked the time. He had about an hour left of school. He said he'd call me after so I'd be speaking to him soon. At least the Denali coven was leaving for a couple of days. Jake wouldn't lose any more sleep, at least, not for a while.

Carlisle thought that it was a good idea for me to get Jake up to speed.

"Thanks, Carlisle," I said. "And thanks to everyone for all the support."

"You're welcome, Bella," Alice smiled. "You're family and vampires are fiercely protective of their own."

I smiled at that. But then a thought occurred to me. "Hey, if you're, I mean, we're," I had to remember to include myself in the classification of vampires now, "so protective, how come the rest of Irina's coven isn't mad at me or us for what happened to Laurent?"

"Pssshhh, that's because that Laurent was such a douche!" Emmett answered as if this were obvious. The rest of the family shrugged and nodded, agreeing with him.

"So when are we leaving?" Rosalie asked.

"Tonight," Alice and Carlisle answered together. They looked at each other and laughed. "Jinx, you owe me a deer," they laughed simultaneously. I had to laugh too. Vampire humor. Who knew? A deer did sound better and more refreshing than a Coke though.

"Before we go, though, I'd like to talk to you, Bella," Carlisle said.

"Sure," I answered as I stood up, though I wasn't sure where we were going to go for the talk.

"You stay here," Alice said. "Edward, you can stay too. We'll take the boat to the mainland. It's cloudy over there so we can do some shopping."

Emmett made a face about the shopping. He didn't seem to enjoy it either. I knew there was a reason Emmett and I got along so well.

"You and Jasper can play video games or something," Alice told him. That cheered Emmett up considerably. "Bella, do you need anything while we're out?" Alice asked.

I shook my head. "No thanks."

Alice rolled her eyes. "That was a rhetorical question, Bella. You know I'll be picking things up for you anyway." I rolled my eyes at her, and she flashed the most dazzling and angelic smile at me. Annoying little pixie.

"So, Bella, you seem to be getting along very well despite the drastic change in lifestyle," Carlisle noted.

"Yes, I think I'm doing pretty well," I replied. I smiled as I felt Edward's hand on the small of my back. I had sat back down next to him on the love seat after everyone else had left.

Carlisle snickered, startling me; I'd never heard him make such a sound before. It reminded me that he'd only been about twenty one when he was changed –still a university boy by today's standards. "_Pretty well_ doesn't begin to cover it, Bella. Don't be so modest."

"I'm sure there's much more I need to know, but I think I have a pretty good handle on things, Carlisle. And Edward's helped tremendously. He's answered many questions for me already."

"Do you have any questions now?" Carlisle asked.

I thought for a second but couldn't think of a one. I hated being put on the spot. About a couple weeks before, he wouldn't have been able to shut me up, I had so many questions then, but now I was at a loss. I felt I was being wasteful having Carlisle's wisdom and experience to draw from and I couldn't think of anything to ask him except for…

"How did you do it, Carlisle? How did you survive so many centuries essentially alone?" I asked finally.

"Ah," he nodded. "It was difficult, as you can imagine. Humans are social beings. They need to be around others for comfort and safety. Being a vampire doesn't eliminate that need, but I did what I had to do. Doing the best with what I had. I learned quite a bit in that time and it made me who I am today, but I wouldn't want anyone else, immortal or not, to go through that. It was…" he hesitated, as though unsure as to how best to put into words something that was so indefinable, "very lonely. I felt…condemned. Condemned and repugnant."

I nodded in understanding. "That's how I felt as well. And I was convinced I'd be alone forever. It terrified me," I said quietly. It still did terrify me. Edward pulled me a little closer to his side to comfort me.

"You felt condemned?" Carlisle asked for clarification.

"Yes, well, because of what happened to my parents," I bit my lip. "I feel responsible for their murders. Victoria and Laurent killed them because of me."

"Bella, no," Edward whispered. "It was me. I'm responsible."

"No, Edward. We can all shoulder the blame. We all failed Bella by leaving," Carlisle said. I didn't know about the failing me part, but Carlisle was right. I didn't want Edward blaming himself any more than he wanted me blaming myself.

"But…" Edward began again.

"No, Edward!" Carlisle and I both said sternly. Then we all laughed. "Jinx! You owe me a deer!"

We got another good chuckle out of that. It was nice because it definitely lightened the mood.

"Now tell me about your gift, Bella."

I shrugged. "There's not a whole lot to tell. I'm getting pretty good at lifting my mental shield to allow Edward to hear my mind though I can't lift it for an extended amount of time. I'm still working on stretching it to protect other people's minds. It's like a rubber band or a swim cap stretching from my around my head, if that makes sense."

"Has it always been like that? Have you noticed anything else with your shield?" Carlisle asked.

I had to think back to when I was first on my own. I didn't know about the mental shield, but… "Now that you mention it, there was this one time, early on, when I was hunting. I was after the same deer that this mountain lion wanted. All I knew was that the deer was mine. I wanted it, and more importantly, I didn't want the mountain lion to have it. After a while of trying to get to the deer, the lion left." I looked at Carlisle and then at Edward. "What do you make of that?"

"Hmm, perhaps it might be a physical shield as well?" Carlisle thought. I shrugged. It never occurred to me that I may have had a physical shield effect. "Try it on me. Keep Edward from touching me."

So I tried for a while to imagine a bubble around Carlisle keeping Edward away, but ultimately, Edward was able to touch Carlisle's shoulder.

"Shoot," I grumbled.

"It could be that that was how your gift first manifested itself and then it evolved into what you can do now," Carlisle speculated. "Or it could have had to do with your emotions at that time as well." I nodded. I _had_ been pretty emotional at the time.

"You wanted the deer over the mountain lion?" Edward asked in disbelief, bringing me out of my thoughts.

I smiled sheepishly. "Hey, I hadn't even taken down a deer yet at that point, let alone a mountain lion. And on top of that…"

"What?" Edward asked since I had hesitated. I contemplated telling him that I had equated the lion with him and, therefore, I was unreasonably mad at the lion.

But I didn't want to kill it. I'd never wanted to kill it.

"I…just didn't want the lion to have it. That's all," I answered. Edward pursed his lips and furrowed his brow, clearly dissatisfied with my reply. That's all the explanation he'd get from me at that time because my phone was buzzing with an incoming call from Jake.

I told him about Irina looking for Laurent and how the rest of her coven didn't like Laurent and that they'd sided with us. I told Jake to be careful nonetheless. I also told him that I'd get to see him next week for one last time since the Cullens wanted to fulfill my hope and wish for Jake and his werewolf friends to live normal lives.

We also talked about our day. I told him about the swimming and running while he told me about how Quil imprinted on their friend Emily's baby niece, Claire, who was two. I had no idea what he was talking about, but he filled me in on what imprinting was, which was like love at first sight but so much more powerful than that.

I was horrified that a teenager imprinted on a child, essentially. I voiced my disgust, but Jake warned me not to judge and went on to clarify what imprinting meant. While imprinting usually occurred with someone who'd be a mate, the Quileute that imprinted would serve whatever purpose the person they imprinted on needed at the time, in whatever capacity, be it big brother, protector, friend, or lover. That made me feel a little better about the Quil-Claire thing. I asked Jake if he'd imprinted yet and he answered in the negative. It sounded like he wanted to, though, because everyone seemed to have already. Well, Sam, Jared and Quil had anyway. And really, who was left? Embry?

Jake and I talked for quite a while, and when we were done, Edward and I walked around the island waiting for the others to get back. While it was a terribly romantic environment, we didn't allow ourselves to do more than talk and kiss since the others would be back soon. We had a couple days to ourselves coming up anyway.

I filled Edward in on the conversation Jake and I had. He equated the imprinting to the bond that occurred between true vampire mates. It was that strong a relationship.

Edward made me explain my hesitance during the deer and mountain lion conversation. He understood my frustration and anger with the mountain lion at the time after I told him how mad I was at him at the time and likened the lion to him.

I, in turn, forced Edward to explain the Tanya remark that Emmett made earlier.

Apparently the strawberry blonde, succubus-legends-starting, beautiful vampire Tanya had always had a _thing_ for Edward.

Of course she had to be the vampiric equivalent of the Playboy Mansion's top bunny. Blonde, boobs but without the bimbo bit. Just great.

Edward, for his part, never encouraged her and even thwarted her overtures and turned her down on more than one occasion, in a gentlemanly fashion of course. Whatever. I didn't like the sound of any of this.

"Bella," Edward cooed, pulling me to him upon seeing the sneer on my face. "Tanya is a very kind and insightful person. She convinced me to return to Forks when I left. Remember right after we met? She's a friend. She and her coven are like extended family. Nothing more. Besides," he grinned crookedly at me before leaning down to whisper sexily into my ear. "I prefer brunettes."

**A/N Mmmhmm, he'd better dig brunettes! But, no, the "Ho" from the title does not necessarily refer to Tanya. haha. Well, before you go to the movie, don't forget to review the chapter. Or if you've already seen it, let me know how you liked it and this chapter too. Love to hear from you guys. Oh, and thanks for the review-a-thon, cravingtwilight! Here's a virtual fist bump. Thanks to everyone else for reading too. Meet me on the equinox! Enjoy the movie! Love you guys!**


	20. Read My Mind

**A/N I'm still me and not Steph Meyer so I clearly do not own Twilight or the characters.**

**Happy Thanksgiving to those who are celebrating turkey day or any incarnation of turkey day (i.e. Mexi-Giving, Pizza-giving, tofurky day, etc.). Everyone else, have a good day :)**

**A big thanks to Phantom for getting this back to me crazy fast! It's the beta voo doo, I swear. **

**Okay, kids, here's the next chapter. It's titled after my favorite song by the Killers. Haven't heard it? Definitely look it up. Don't forget to review--especially you, Pixie! You're on notice and I think your little review boycott will end with this chapter ;D and I fully expect retroactive reviews. haha. GREAR!**

**Chapter 19: Read My Mind**

**EPoV**

"I prefer brunettes," I whispered into Bella's ear, hoping to convey to her just how much I wanted her and only her. It seemed she didn't entirely like the idea of Tanya existing at all. It was hard to take her fears as seriously as I should have when the idea -of me wanting anyone other than Bella- was totally ridiculous.

"Are you saying that because it's actually true or because I can totally kick your ass right now?" Bella asked playfully, her golden eyes narrowed into gleaming slits.

I had to grin. She was adorable when she was jealous, unreasonably jealous, but jealous nonetheless.

"Yes," I answered, agreeing with both the options she'd listed, as I nuzzled the skin behind her ear.

"Good," she sighed her approval. I smiled into her neck and continued grazing my lips along her skin. I smiled again when I finally elicited a moan out of Bella. I loved hearing those small, sexy sounds from her.

"Edward," Bella said in a warning tone. "Your family will be back soon."

"And?" I challenged.

"Don't make me throw you out into the ocean too," she teased.

"You want to race back to shore?" I asked, quirking a brow at her, my hands never ceasing their exploration of her nubile body.

Her breath caught on a moan. "No, I was just going to throw you. Maybe they'll let you ride back with them on the boat." She rubbed herself against me, involuntarily I was sure.

"So you're telling me you want me to stop this?" I asked as I sucked on her earlobe. Bella moaned again. "And this?" I crushed my lips to hers. It wasn't my imagination that Bella was kissing me back, despite her hands on my chest pushing against me slightly. We both knew she could push me through a wall if she wanted to. Bella's hands finally fell to my waist, resting there as if she were giving up. I smiled victoriously against her lips until I realized she had picked me by my waist and was holding me over her head just as she'd done with Emmett.

"I didn't want you to stop, but you knew you should have," Bella laughed. "It would have been the responsible thing to do." She walked precariously closer to the water.

"So you're about ready to heave me into the Atlantic Ocean and yet you lecture me on responsibility?" I countered jokingly. I knew I was pushing my luck. I considered briefly grabbing her by the waist as she tossed me and taking her along for the ride before discarding it. It was far too ungentlemanly a recourse. Perhaps in private though…

"Do it, Bella! Do it!" we heard from a distance. The family was coming back. The boat was less than a mile away. Emmett was cheering Bella on, and Bella was laughing in response.

"You realize I have to throw you now right?" she asked.

"Why?" I asked idly as I caressed the skin of her waist. She shuddered and I grinned triumphantly.

"Because I have a rep to uphold now as the resident newborn, for one. And for another, remember what Alice said about being an equal opportunity humiliation dealer?" There was a smile in Bella's voice. She was really enjoying this.

"You would embarrass me in front of our entire family, love?" I asked pleadingly. I didn't really mind if she threw me. I was just testing to see if my begging could dissuade Bella.

Apparently it could not.

"I won't throw you that far out. I'll make it up to you later," she promised. Now that I liked the sound of.

Before I could even ask her how she was going to make it up to me later, I was being hurled into the space above the water and then landed with a huge splash about as far out as the boat was.

"Man, she's got an arm on her!" Emmett whistled with awe. "Need a little help, Eddie?" Emmett cackled his evil laugh as he looked over the railing and down at me.

"Why don't you jump out and race me to shore?" I challenged. It really didn't take much to persuade Emmett to race. He removed his t-shirt and jeans. He happened to be wearing swim trunks. "No fair," I complained when Emmett was in the water next to me.

"Shut up, Ed. We all know you swim faster than me anyway. I need a little bit of an advantage."

"Fine," I grumbled. I had always swum faster, it was true, but that never stopped Emmett from trying to beat me.

Before we could start the race, though, there was another splash about ten feet from where Emmett and I were. It was Jasper. We both looked at him.

"I guess I'm racing too," he said. We noticed that Jasper was still fully clothed. Emmett and I looked from Jasper back up to the boat where Alice was looking down at us.

She shrugged. "I hadn't gotten to heave anybody into the ocean yet today. I felt left out." It was just as good an excuse as any. Alice went back to the main cabin while we three swam like mad for shore.

I got there first, despite Emmett's advantage. Emmett and Jasper pretty much tied for second though Jasper swore that Emmett caught his leg, thus holding Jasper back so that they both could get to shore at the same time. Emmett's thoughts confirmed this. There was something to be said about brute force.

Bella had been waiting for me with a towel. She was simply beaming. "Nice work." I thanked her with a chaste kiss while we waited for Jasper and Emmett.

"He cheated," Jasper tattled the same time Emmett negated him, "Did not."

Bella and I merely laughed at them both as we tossed them each a towel.

"Well at least I beat Jasper at video games on the boat, and you're next Eddie. I always enjoy kicking your butt."

I rolled my eyes. "That's because you mentally assault me with your lewd mind droppings and disturbingly heinous visual images." I shuddered at some of the thoughts I'd been subjugated to in the past.

"Psshhh," Emmett waved me off. "It's all about mental toughness, bro. I can beat you thinking those things so you have an equal chance of winning while hearing those things from my mind. Am I right?" Emmett reasoned looking around for someone to back up his argument. No one did.

"Which games do you play?" Bella asked.

"Street Fighter, Mortal Combat, God of War, pick your poison. I just annihilated emo-boy here at Killzone," Emmett said, pointing his thumb at Jasper.

"I wouldn't say _annihilated_," Jasper countered.

"You want in, Bells?" Emmett asked, ignoring Jasper.

Bella immediately made a face and shook her head. "No thanks. I'm more into word games than killing ones, but I'll watch. Well, I'll be in the same room at least."

"You sure? I don't want to subject you to seeing your man all broken and sad," he said in an attempt to be persuasive.

We all laughed at Emmett's over exaggeration.

"I think I can handle it, Emmett," Bella replied just as Esme, Rosalie and Alice approached us with more shopping bags than they had arms. Bella and I took a couple from each of them to ease their load.

"What is all of this, Alice?" Bella asked, aghast. "Surely this isn't all for me?"

"Don't call me Shirley, and no, they're not all for you. Esme, Rosalie, and I each have a couple bags for ourselves."

"Oh, good," Bella groaned sarcastically. That still left six bags of who knew what for her.

"Well, I saw what you had packed and that just wouldn't do, especially since you'll be staying here a little longer." Alice explained, a mischievous smile spread across her face.

"But it's only going to be a couple of days, Alice," Bella tried reasoning, to no avail.

Alice kept walking to the house while we all followed. "Do you want to see what we got you?" she asked unperturbed by Bella's words.

"Do I really have a choice here, Alice?" Bella asked. To which Alice responded with a quick no. "The guys have to change anyway before their video game extravaganza. I'm going to watch. Kind of."

Alice turned around to smile at Bella. "That's a great idea, Bella." Bella smiled back at her. Alice then blocked her thoughts from me, and before I could ask her why, Alice replied to me. "Bella has a present for you, Edward."

I gave Bella a curious look. How did she have a gift for me when she didn't go shopping and didn't tell Alice to get her anything? "You'll see," she grinned triumphantly.

Jasper and Emmett went to shower and change in the two spare rooms while I did so in the room Bella had used earlier. While I showered, Alice was showing Bella what she and the other women had gotten for her. I was chuckling throughout their entire exchange and I could see Bella in Alice's mind the whole time.

"Alice, I just bought a whole bunch of underwear right before we left Phoenix," Bella complained when Alice revealed to her what was in the bag from the lingerie store. "Oh, that's pretty," Bella acknowledged as she touched the silk and lace before her. I couldn't suppress the smirk that formed on my lips. I couldn't wait to see Bella wearing those items …and then not wearing those items. "Thanks, Alice," Bella smiled. _Thanks, indeed_.

"You're welcome. Look in here," Alice said as she dumped out the contents of another bag. "Aren't these great, Bella?" Alice clapped her hands.

"Yeah…what are they supposed to be? Not swimwear surely? Where's the rest of them? These aren't whole, I don't think." Bella had a horrified look on her face. The bikinis were pretty skimpy. I smiled. Alice was wonderful.

"What did I say about calling me Shirley?" Alice joked. "And to answer your question, this is it. I mean, these are them."

"Alice, I've had bandages that've covered more than these…" With all the accidents and mishaps that Bella'd had as a human, I was sure she knew her bandages.

"Ed Hardy, Bella," Alice said wisely. "Ed Hardy makes everything better."

"Well, Ed _hardly_ used any fabric for these."

"Well, these," Alice countered, "will make your Ed-" I shook my head at my sister even though she couldn't see me while Bella put up her hands as if to block a punch.

"Whoa!" Bella protested. "I quit this game. You win, Alice."

"What? I was going to say _happy_," Alice responded feigning innocence. "These will make your Ed _happy_. Get your head out of the gutter, Bella," Alice said with a straight face.

I laughed. Alice was such a liar. Bella saw right through her too.

"Right," Bella nodded reiterating what Alice had said, "Happy."

Oh yeah, they'd make me really happy.

Alice then showed Bella an array of sundresses, shorts, tops, and shoes, which were all to Bella's liking.

"See? That wasn't so bad," Alice pointed out.

Bella was smiling sheepishly at her. "You're still ridiculous, Alice," Bella told her.

"I know," Alice grinned.

"But I love you."

"I know that too," Alice replied with the grin still on her face.

I loved that they got along so well, though I didn't love it when they ganged up on me. Which reminded me…

I finally came out of the bathroom to join them. "What's this present you two were speaking about earlier?" I asked. Bella looked up from where she was sitting on the bed and smiled at me. She looked so content and at ease here with Alice and the rest of the family. I was overjoyed to know that she was happy after everything that she'd been through.

"Well, I was going to level the video game playing field," Bella answered. "While also practicing stretching my shield."

"Ah, nice," I said nodding my approval of the plan. "That should work, right, Alice?"

Alice smiled her response. "Should we really be using our special skills just to humiliate Emmett?" she asked, seemingly hesitantly, as we walked out into the hallway.

Bella and I just looked at her like she was crazy. Was Alice thinking of going easy on Emmett?

"Right. Just so we're on the same page here," Alice giggled.

When we got downstairs, Emmett had already gotten the gaming system set up.

"Which game, Ed?" Emmett asked. He then narrowed his gaze at the three of us, his vampy senses obviously tingling. "You know? I think I'll pick the game. I don't like the looks of the three of you. Like you're conspiring or something."

"Don't be so paranoid, Emmett," Alice scoffed at him as if it were the most absurd notion in the world. "We were discussing Bella's present to Edward."

"Oh," was all Emmett said. "Well, I'm picking the game anyway," he decided. I merely shrugged.

Emmett and I sat in front of the television with Jasper sitting by watching. Rosalie and Alice were flipping through fashion magazines while Esme and Carlisle were both reading.

"So what's the present?" Emmett asked. "Bella?" He turned to look at her.

Bella sat in an armchair and looked to be deep in thought as she was doodling in her journal, just as she had done when we were in the hotel room. She was concentrating on shielding everyone's thoughts from me. I hoped that she'd start with Emmett. His thoughts were the hardest to block, mostly because he all but shouted them at me when we were competing. He was already thinking about things he wanted to do with Rosalie later, when they got back to Forks.

And Bella wondered why I didn't particularly care about being modest around my family. If only she knew what they'd all put me through over the decades…

"Can you tone it down, Emmett?" I asked tersely as we turned the game on, knowing it was futile but asking anyway.

"Oh. Sorry," was his blithe, insincere response.

He wasn't sorry. Not in the least. His cackle illustrated that even if I hadn't been able to hear it from his mind.

"So what the heck's the present, Bells?" He looked over at her again and got no response. He was genuinely curious now. Bella wasn't acknowledging him at all.

"She's trying to give me the present now," I told him. "Shut up, Emmett." Telling Emmett to shut up always had the opposite effect.

"See, I don't think you understand the act of gift-giving, Bella. I mean, I know you don't like presents yourself, so let me tell you how it works. The way you give someone a gift is you hand them a box or a bag with something inside. Something tangible. They open it and are either really happy and grateful for whatever it is you gave them or they're all, 'Oh, socks. Thanks,'" he quoted blandly before continuing on his dissertation. "You don't become a mute and ignore them and everyone else in the room."

"Shut up, Emmett, and try to kill me," I snapped at him.

"Oh, right."

So Emmett and I played the first game. Normally I could put up a good fight but apparently someone had slipped him a copy of the Kama Sutra and he had evidently been working his way through the book. Or he was intending to at least.

No guy should ever have to see his sister like that.

He was beating me until his mind was finally silent. That's when I turned things around.

"Yes!" I pumped my fist in victory.

"Whatever. Go again," Emmett ordered.

We played two more games of God of War and then two rounds of Street Fighter. I beat Emmett every time. Having a clear mind was amazing for my video gaming skills. Bella was a genius.

She had successfully shielded everyone's mind from me for an hour and half. She probably could have gone longer, but Emmett angrily yelling, "What the hell?" the last time I beat him snapped the shield away from everyone else and back to Bella. Her head shot up and my mind was buzzing with thoughts again. It was fine, though, because I beat Emmett at his video games as well as his mind games.

I smiled at Bella as she got up from her chair and came over to where we were.

"You won?" she asked me. I nodded and Bella high-fived me.

"Thanks," I told her.

"You're welcome," she grinned. "An hour and half. That's a record, huh?"

"What the heck are you talking about?" Emmett asked.

"I've been making the entire room quiet by stretching my shield over everyone except for Edward," Bella told him.

"Oh," Emmett replied. "OHHH!" he reiterated as if the light bulb had finally turned on. "So you cheated," he accused.

"How is that cheating?" Bella asked indignantly.

"Because," Emmett answered with finality, as if because were an adequate answer. We all waited for him to elaborate but he didn't. Not much anyway.

"It just feels wrong," Emmett added with a scowl.

"Well done, Bella," Carlisle congratulated her, jumping into the conversation. Perhaps he was changing the subject to give Emmett some time to cool off and shake off the loss. "I didn't even feel any differently while you shielded my mind. Amazing. I wonder if Edward's mind were protected along with ours, could he still hear our thoughts?"

Bella looked at me. I thought back to when she shielded my mind from Zafrina's illusions along with Senna and Kachiri. I had been too preoccupied with the desert scene and sandstorm that Zafrina conjured to pay any attention to the minds and thoughts of the other two.

"Had I been reading and hearing Senna and Kachiri's minds, I would have only seen the images that Zafrina conjured that I was seeing as well and then when Bella shielded all of our minds, I did hear their minds, but it was only for a short amount of time because the shield receded. I saw what they saw, the rainforest. Their thoughts were similar to mine anyway. We were amazed that Bella shielded our minds from Zafrina's gift, even for that short time."

"Well, there's only one way to find out if you can still read minds under my shield, right?" Bella asked.

She took a moment to concentrate. She first shielded Carlisle because I could hear everyone else but him. Then, I assumed Bella shielded me next because I could hear Carlisle again but I could still hear everyone else!

"Amazing," I said with awe evident in my tone. "I can hear Carlisle and everyone else still. Well, except for you, Bella."

"Can you feel anything?" Bella asked.

Carlisle and I both shook our heads. We couldn't feel the shield at all.

"What do you feel, Bella?" Carlisle asked.

"Um, just like I'm stretching a bubble or clear screen over and around you both. It moves, though. It's flexible. It molds to your bodies."

We all watched Bella as she described what she was doing.

"I don't know if that makes any sense," she said. "And you can hear their minds outside of the shield," she pondered aloud. "I know I'm protecting you, Edward, because I can feel it."

"Okay, uncover me and then shield someone else."

I waited. I didn't feel anything, but I couldn't hear Carlisle anymore and then I couldn't hear Esme, nor Rosalie. And then I couldn't hear Emmett. I told them so as it was happening.

I wondered if Jasper's gift worked through the shield. I looked at him.

"I can still feel their emotions." We all waited a moment. He was sending frustrated vibes out. He had to use some other emotion different from the general happiness we all were feeling but also benign enough to not do any damage really.

Everyone's brows furrowed within the shield and outside of it. We had all started scowling a bit and then I heard Esme, Carlisle, Rosalie, and Emmett again. The shield had recoiled.

"Sorry," Bella grumbled. Jasper sent some calm her way and she was better in an instant. "Thanks, Jasper," she smiled.

"Fascinating," Carlisle commented. _I wonder if Jane or Alec's gifts would work on Bella or through her shield?_ Carlisle thought. I shrugged my shoulders and shook my head infinitesimally. I wasn't sure how impenetrable Bella's shield could be and there was no way in hell I was letting her near enough to the demon twins to allow them to experiment.

"Dang, Jazz can go through shields!" Emmett pointed out, high-fiving Jasper.

"It sort of makes sense that Jasper can go through the shield since he can affect my emotions, right?" Bella asked.

This was true. I just wished I could get through her shield myself, hear Bella's mind more. Maybe we could work on that more once the family went back to Forks, which was going to be soon. Carlisle was thinking they'd leave within half an hour. I tried to not get too excited about that, but, truth be told, I really wanted to have Bella all to myself again. For a few days anyway. A few years, or decades, more would be more preferable, but a few days would have to do. For now. I fully planned on taking her away…somewhere…someday. Just the two of us. I still had so much to make up for, but I was grateful for the opportunity to be able to do so.

_Edward, we'll take the yacht and leave the smaller motorboat for you and Bella, all right? They brought it back from the mainland this afternoon_.

I nodded my assent, but Bella was looking at us inquisitively during our little exchange so I answered his thoughts out loud to include her.

"That sounds fine, Carlisle. Thank you. Sorry, Bella, Carlisle and I do that a lot. They're taking the yacht and leaving the smaller boat for us."

"Oh. Okay," she smiled. We locked eyes for a moment. I was glad I explained the silent conversation with Carlisle. Even though it wasn't a big deal, Bella was happy to be let in on it, and she was conveying that to me.

"Yes they do," Alice said.

"Get used to it," Jasper chimed in.

I actually did that with all of them though, answered their thoughts. If Bella could open her mind up to me more, I could do that with her too.

It didn't take long for the rest of the family to gather their things and head back to Rio. We said our goodbyes and promised to see them again in three days.

_See ya, Ed. Don't do anything I wouldn't do._ Emmett thought, smirking at me. I didn't think that'd be possible but I nodded at him anyway.

Bella and I walked to the beach and saw them off, standing there watching until the boat was no longer in view.

"Ahh," I sighed into Bella's neck, wrapping my arms around her waist. "You're all mine again," I smiled as I peppered kisses along her jaw line.

"I've always been all yours," Bella protested as she turned her body around to face me. I loved the feeling of her body pressed up against mine. And I loved that she confessed she'd always been mine. How did I get so lucky?

"You're lucky, you know?" Bella said.

I pulled my head back to look at her. "Did you just read my thoughts?"

Bella pulled a face. "No, why?"

"I was just thinking about how lucky I was to have you. What were you going to say?"

"Oh, I was going to say that you're lucky I'm so patient. Your silent conversations with everyone drive me a little nuts."

I chuckled softly. "Sorry about that. Really. It's just automatic." I tapped my right temple. "I've been doing it for decades; it's a hard habit to break."

She grimaced. "I know. I just need to get used to it. Will you let me know if it involves me though?"

"Of course," I answered.

"So…" she trailed off suggestively.

"Emmett said not to do anything he wouldn't do," I told her. Bella giggled and rolled her eyes.

"What about the thing with Carlisle," she asked suddenly, "right after we learned that Jasper can work through my shield?"

"You caught that?" I asked, surprised. Bella was sharp, that was for sure. She was referring to the very quick Jane and Alec conversation Carlisle and I had. I had never gone into detail with her about the Volturi and their guard. She should know about them now, though. I would fill her in. She continued to look at me, waiting for my response. "Let's take a swim and I'll tell you about it."

"Sounds like a plan," she said. Bella then started to undress right there on the beach. I quirked an eyebrow up in surprise.

"What?" she said in response to my look. "No one else is here with us."

"True, but didn't you get some new bikinis today?" I asked. I kind of wanted to see her in them, but only for the pleasure of taking them off her.

"Oh, please," she said, rolling her eyes. "They leave nothing to the imagination as it is. Besides," she added. "Isn't this the ultimate goal anyway?" she asked when she was finally down to her bra and panties, taking them off as well before gesturing to her denuded body. "And you have catching up to do," she pointed out. It had only been a few seconds since Bella had begun disrobing. She was quick, of course, but I was still fully dressed.

"Easily rectified," I said smoothly as I shed my clothes. "And I really do think you're able to read my mind now, Bella."

Her peal of laughter caused me to laugh as well. "You're not that difficult to read sometimes. That's all," she told me.

"Am I that obvious?" I asked, pulling her to me and kissing her softly.

Bella wrapped her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist, kissing me back fiercely. "We're bound, remember?"

I moaned into her mouth as she tugged on my hair. The swim and the Volturi conversation would have to wait a bit. First things first…

**A/N There you go. Hoped you liked it. It was just a little something before I get everyone to Forks. I have big plans for Forks and am excited to write it up. I hope you're excited to read about it. Shoot me a review please!**

**Here's a quick shout out to carmelinagunn. She's my ff #2 (I'm #1, of course, but don't worry these rankings have nothing to do with anything and are completely arbitrary). She's awesome and I love our little chats. She's got a couple of new stories going: Between 2 Trees and PDA. Yes, there is life outside of IEWIS-land, and it is fantastic! Check out her fics if you haven't yet. Good stuff.**


	21. You Belong to Me

**A/N Despite the title of this chapter, the Twilight characters do not belong to me. **

**So yeah, here's the next installment. Thanks to phantom for doing her beta-thing. This chapter was mostly for her because I left her hanging last chapter, leading up to a lemon and then not actually writing a lemon. So, yes, there is some citrus up in here. You have been warned. And the title of this one was inspired by Lenny Kravitz, a gawd! Now GREAR!**

**Chapter 21: You Belong to Me**

**BPoV**

We had spent two magnificent days on the island already. It was the morning of the third day, and we were waiting until sundown to head back to the mainland and catch a flight to Washington. I was looking forward to seeing the rest of the Cullens and seeing Jake again, but I would miss this island and the alone time with Edward. We'd known we wouldn't have another opportunity to be alone together for a little while so we'd tried to make the most of it. And that we had.

It was like we were discovering each other for the first time again only...better.

So much better.

It was like room 311 to the hundredth power. Our island frolics superseded room 311 in the heaven department, mainly because we were not confined to a small space. We had the entire island to explore in addition to each other.

Starting from the moment the yacht was out of our sight, Edward and I couldn't peel ourselves off of each other. If we weren't making love, we were holding hands, I was riding on his back, he was carrying me, or we would be touching in some way. It was as if Edward was my source of energy and power and I was his. I wasn't sure if this was entirely healthy, but there it was. We had to be close in order to…just be. I wondered if this feeling of want I had for Edward would ever diminish over time. We had an eternity together, after all.

But, honestly? I really didn't think the feeling would ever go away. I would always need Edward, need to be with him. It was both a scary and an exhilarating thought.

This was what I was thinking about as I flipped through photo albums in one of the rooms in the beach house. A cleaning crew had come to the house, and I was trying to stay out of the way, even though there wasn't a whole lot for them to do. I had tidied up in anticipation of them. Edward thought that was strange of me to do, but I didn't feel right about letting people clean up after me. That wasn't how I was raised. The cleaning people had also brought along extra gas for the motorboat. Edward wanted to make sure the small boat we would be taking to Rio had enough fuel for the trip back as well as a jaunt around the island before we left.

"Hey there," I heard Edward say from the doorway peeking into the room just as the motorboat started up. The noise from it dwindled as they got further from the island. "The cleaning people just left. What are you doing?" he asked, walking in and joining me on the bed.

"How old are these pictures?" I asked in fascination. I had been looking at wedding pictures of Emmett and Rosalie. I had already gone through the other albums that contained school pictures of "the kids" throughout the decades at miscellaneous high schools and colleges. They all looked the same, just with different clothes, different hairstyles. The same people at different eras through time.

It was pretty funny that Esme had kept the pictures, or had even had them taken in the first place. I mean, it wasn't like they were going to change, or age, or anything. Must have been some inside joke, like their collection of graduation caps mounted like a piece of art on their stairwell in the house in Forks.

"Looks like maybe twenty or thirty years ago. It was probably their third or fourth wedding?" Edward shrugged taking a guess. I supposed that, even to Edward, all the pictures looked the same after all these years.

I recalled Edward telling me something about how Emmett and Rosalie got married every so often and would go away on a honeymoon. That seemed like ages ago, when I had wondered if their marriages were much like human marriages. He had told me the answer to that then, but I also got to experience that first hand recently. I had an inkling, though, that vampire marriages were much stronger than human marriages in that the bond was all but unbreakable. I hadn't ever heard of a vampire divorce rate. It was probably zero. Though vampire flings could probably be had by the hundred, I thought, remembering that the Denali coven had lived –and probably still lived- as succubae.

"Didn't Alice and Jasper have a wedding?" I asked curiously. I hadn't seen any pictures of their wedding.

"That's not really their thing," he admitted, somewhat reluctantly. "They do go off on a honeymoon of sorts every decade or so, but they haven't ever had an official wedding ceremony. I think they believe that their relationship transcends what is said and done in a traditional ceremony, not that they look down on it. It's all right for Emmett and Rosalie. In fact, Rosalie's the one that insists on a ceremony every so often, and Emmett goes along with it because it's what Rose wants. That's just not Alice and Jasper's style," Edward looked at me curiously as he answered. He was probably wondering what the heck I was thinking about.

"And Carlisle and Esme?" I asked, still curious.

"They just had the one ceremony, but they celebrate their anniversary regularly. Carlisle usually goes all out." His lips twisted up into a rueful grin, probably recalling my abhorrence for gifts.

"You don't say," I giggled as I thought about the purchase of the island as an anniversary present. _Going all out_ was a severe understatement. Edward's mouth turned into a smile as well. He knew better than I did that the Cullens went all out on pretty much everything.

I remembered what Edward had said when we were in Arizona still, about the Mr. and Mrs. Cullen thing. _Perhaps one day soon_. He had sounded absolute, too, when he said that.

So Edward wanted to get married. I was sure of that much. Did I want to? It actually didn't really matter much to me. I mean, I was supposedly dead. My human family was all gone. Edward and I had already pledged ourselves to each other for eternity already. Did it mean more to do so in front of other people? Alice and Jasper had a point. But if it was what Edward wanted, I would do it.

"What about us?" I asked, fixing my eyes on his.

"What _about_ us?" Edward hedged warily, though there was a distinct twinkle in his eyes.

"Do you want to get married?" I asked even though I was almost certain I knew the answer to that question.

"Do _you_ want to get married?" he countered.

I laughed and shoved Edward's shoulder slightly. "Are you going to actually answer my questions or just repeat them back to me?"

Edward chuckled but then captured my face between his hands, gazing intently at me. "I'm pretty sure you know that I want to marry you, but only if you want to, love." Edward spoke softly but deliberately.

I placed my hands atop his. "Edward, we've already promised each other forever. There's not much to do after that is there?" I could tell he wanted to try and remain unaffected by my words, but I noticed that Edward's face fell ever so slightly. His eyes dimmed, the happy, almost triumphant spark extinguished. "But…" I continued but was interrupted by both our phones buzzing with an incoming text. We both moved to look at our phones.

We had received the very same message:

**I'm starting to plan it now!**

It was from Alice of course.

Damn! She beat me to the punch! I just had to smile, though. I could hear the squeal of delight in her voice in my head. Edward just stared at the message and then at me.

I shrugged but smiled all the same.

"You had already made up your mind," Edward whispered in astonishment. It wasn't a question. He knew it to be true, as evidenced by Alice's message.

"Well, you know, I…" I started to formulate some response, but was interrupted again. This time by Edward's mouth moving fiercely on mine. I mean, I knew he'd be pleased about my wanting to get married, but he was downright turned on by the notion. Who was I to stop the passion?

I went with it. Luckily, we were already on the bed, not that the floor or the sand or the pool would have been uncomfortable. Hell, we'd done it in a tree for goodness sakes.

Edward had my sundress off in the blink of an eye. Underneath, I was actually wearing one of the bikinis that Alice had gotten me, but the top and bottoms were undone and tossed carelessly to the side quite easily since they weren't even whole to begin with.

I, in turn, just as easily ripped off Edward's t-shirt—the sixth one that I'd shredded since our mini-vacation began. You'd think that he'd learn to just not wear one by now, but I suspected that Edward secretly liked it when I tore the clothes right off his body. I had to admit, it was rather empowering.

"You like doing that, don't you?" Edward asked with a smirk as he undid his khakis.

"Yes," I answered matter-of-factly, my palms rubbing over the well defined muscles of his chest. "And don't pretend like you don't like it when I do that," I challenged.

Edward pulled my body against his, a low, sexy growl rumbling out of his throat. "True," he murmured before kissing me once more. "I love it, actually." He continued planting open-mouthed kisses along my jaw, neck, and collar bones, his teeth nipping at the super-sensitive skin as he sat me on the edge of the bed, kneeling on the floor in front of me. "I love how strong you are, Bella."

Edward grabbed hold of my torso so he could nibble, lick, and taste my skin, my breasts, any part of me his mouth came into contact with, stopping occasionally, only long enough to speak so reverently of me.

"I love how beautiful you are, my love." His eyes were pure, glowing gold as he looked up at me, and my heart melted.

My fingers were wound around his bronze locks, massaging his scalp, while Edward captured one of my hardened peaks in his mouth and the other between his fingers, pinching, rolling and then sucking and licking. All I could do was moan and let my arms fall back in order to support myself.

"You're a goddess, Bella," Edward breathed. He continued to move his hands and mouth further down. His hands were kneading my bottom and my thighs while his mouth continued its assault on my abdomen and tops of my legs. Very subtly, Edward had scooted me to the edge of the bed and parted my knees slightly. I involuntarily parted them even more due to his touch.

"And goddesses deserve to be worshipped. Let me worship you, Isabella." He breathed the words against the very sensitive skin at the apex of my thighs.

My head was swirling and my voice caught in my throat. I couldn't think of a proper reply, and even if I could have, I doubted that I had the presence of mind to articulate it.

Edward had barely gotten the words out before I felt his long, glorious tongue first going up the length of my slick, wet folds, before plunging deep inside me. I moaned in sheer ecstasy with each flick of his tongue. This was the first time Edward had put his mouth on me down there, and had I been capable of coherent thought at the time, I would have wondered why he hadn't done it sooner. As it was, all I could do was gasp and utter _oh god!_ My legs ended up thrown over either of Edward's shoulders in an effort to bring my core closer to the source of my pleasure. I couldn't get close enough. Finally, his finger found my most sensitive spot, pressing and massaging while he continued to lap me up. My thighs began trembling, and I could feel my walls closing in around Edward's tongue. It was all too much, and I finally gave in to my climax, screaming Edward's name and _fuck!_ as my body pulsed with pleasure.

I stared at the ceiling, riding out the waves of my orgasm. If someone were to have asked me my name right then and there, I swear I wouldn't have been able to even process the question, let alone answer correctly. Edward Cullen, more specifically, Edward Cullen's tongue had caused me to temporarily lose my mind…sign me up for more!

I squirmed when Edward started peppering my legs with kisses. He laughed, enjoying my hypersensitivity at that moment as he continued to kiss back up my body. He situated me so that I was now lying completely on the bed with him right beside me, staring at me.

"Thanks," he said.

All I could do was look at him, stunned. _Are you crazy? It's I who should be thanking you._

"Why should you thank me?" Edward asked curiously. Then he smiled. He knew he had just read and then answered my thoughts. "Think of something else, Bella," he urged.

_Shut up and let me regain my senses! I think I just had a spiritual experience here_. My thoughts were a little terse. Edward laughed in response.

"A spiritual experience?" He looked pretty proud of himself. "And I caused you to swear," he smiled triumphantly.

_Yeah, well, wait till it's my turn. You won't know your own name either_.

"Wait. You forgot your own name?" he asked in disbelief. Yes, he was undeniably smug now. That snapped something inside of me. I wasn't angry, but I'd had enough.

I quickly thought of how I could make Edward somehow lose _his_ mind. He had said he loved how strong I was now and that he really liked it when I tore the clothes off of him. Perhaps, powerful and assertive Bella could put smug Edward in his place? Could I pull it off though? I recalled his cocky smile from a moment ago. Yes, I could do this. And if I could do it while letting him hear my thoughts? Edward would be putty in my hands. I smiled wickedly.

"Shoot, Bella, I can't hear you anymore. Can you open your mind to me again?" Edward was looking at me pleadingly.

I didn't answer his question. And I didn't open my mind to Edward…yet.

"Go sit there," I told him, pointing to the edge of the bed, where I had been sitting. Edward did as I said. _Nice. Good boy._

I met Edward's gaze and tilted my head at him, asking silently if he'd heard. A slow smile crept across his lips and he nodded infinitesimally.

_All right then. Hands back on the bed. No touching me_. I waved my pointer finger to underscore the no touching part. I stood before Edward, ogling him. Eying his arousal and licking my lips at the sight of it.

_Do you know what I love about you, Edward?_ He shook his head.

"Tell me."

I crawled onto his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck, and pressing my core up against his thickness. We both moaned at the sensation.

_Your mind_. I kissed his temples and forehead. _The way you think. The way you think of me. How much you're always thinking of me. Your mind? It belongs to me._

I kissed his lips. _And your mouth. The way you kiss me and love me. Your mouth is mine too_. I kissed down his neck to his shoulders. _And this spot here, between your neck and shoulder. I love the way it cradles my head when I rest it there. This spot is mine_, I thought as I sucked at the crook of his neck.

_And your arms_, I thought as I massaged the tops of both his arms as I continued to kiss Edward's lips. _I love how strong they are and always ready to hold or carry me. These arms are mine._

I brought his hands up from the mattress and placed them on my breasts. _And your hands. So nimble the way they touch and caress me. These fingers are mine_. I took his pointer finger into my mouth and sucked hard on it, swirling my tongue around the very tip while grinding my pelvis into Edward's.

"Oh god, Bella," he breathed.

I smiled as I put his hands back down and started to kiss his chest, taking a nipple into my mouth. _Your chest, your heart, they're both mine as well._ I heard a low growl rumbling from the very area I was kissing.

I kissed down his torso to his abdomen. _Mine, all mine_. I moved onto his legs, massaging his thighs as I continued to plant my own open-mouthed kisses on his hard stomach muscles. _Your legs are mine too_.

Finally, I kneeled before Edward, just as he had done to me. I took his length into my hand, kissing the very tip. _And this? This is most definitely mine._ Then I took the entirety of his arousal into my mouth. _I can't get enough of you, Edward. The closer I get to you, it's never close enough_. Up and down I bobbed, sucking and licking until I could feel him hit the back of my throat. _I just want to make you as happy as you make me, Edward. Tell me you're mine, Edward. Are you all mine? Do I make you happy, love?_

"Oh, god, yes, Bella!" Edward hissed and breathed over and over, bucking his hips against my mouth. _Then come for me, Edward, _I ordered_. Come for me now._

And with one last thrust of his hips, I felt Edward twitch and harden inside me ever so slightly. He said my name again and swore twice before groaning and throbbing with his own release. I took everything he gave me, completing the clean up job with a peck on the tip of his shaft. I looked up to see that now it was Edward who was staring up at the ceiling, trying to regulate his unnecessary breathing and my turn to feel smug.

I got up only to sit down next to Edward on the bed. He didn't move. I waved a hand over his face a couple times since he still had a blank look on his face. Still there was no movement so I started tracing patterns on his face, mostly on his forehead, cheeks, and lips.

I started giggling because Edward was still unresponsive. Finally, I planted a chaste kiss on his lips and moved away to lie down on the bed. Edward caught my leg while I was moving and tried to pull me back down to where he was, but of course, I was stronger and ended up pulling him up to where I was.

He placed his head on the pillows and I placed my head in the crook of his neck. Correction, _my_ crook of his neck.

"I love you," I whispered as I closed my eyes.

"I love you too," he murmured laconically.

My eyes popped open. "Oh, my, he's coherent?"

I felt his chest shake with a chuckle. "Barely. You did a number on me, you know that? That was sexy as…fuck."

"Again with the cussing?" I giggled as I closed my eyes again.

"My mind isn't working properly; I can't even come up with more appropriate words. Forgive me." I smiled at his explanation. "Are you going to sleep?" he joked.

"No, just reminiscing about sleeping next to you," I told him frankly as I snuggled into him. "Do you miss watching me sleep?" I asked.

"Mmm, perhaps a little. But I love that I can spend every moment awake with you now. Especially when you can open your mind to me occasionally."

I hummed my acknowledgement.

"Do you miss sleeping, love?"

I hesitated just a fraction of a second before answering. "I miss sleeping next to you."

"Meaning you don't miss _not_ sleeping next to me?" he asked cautiously.

"Pretty much." I shrugged, avoiding his eyes.

"Will you explain that?" he asked quietly, tentatively.

"I don't want to," I told him.

"Please, Bella?" he begged, his fingers going under my chin, forcing me to face him.

"Why are you such a masochist?" I complained, frustrated.

I felt Edward shrug. "The monster in me, I guess."

I smacked his chest. "Stop with the monster talk."

"Tell me," he pleaded.

"Fine." I huffed and threw up my hands in defeat, rolling away from him. "Nightmares," I snapped.

"You had nightmares?" he asked, keeping his voice neutral, though I could tell there was some strong, repressed emotion he was trying to hide from me.

"Occasionally," I answered.

"What's _occasionally_? And tell me the truth, please?"

I didn't answer.

"Bella, please. I'll just assume the worst."

"What do you think the worst is then?" I challenged.

"Every night?"

He took my silence as confirmation and drew his arms around me even tighter. The truth was it was a few times a night. A few times a night I'd wake up screaming and Charlie'd come in to make sure I was okay and comfort me. A few times a night I'd wake up crying, even from a dead sleep. I didn't want to tell Edward this and hurt him more. _Every night_ was true enough.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," Edward said over and over burying his face in my hair and kissing the top of my head. I just burrowed myself closer into his body, finding comfort in the contact that I had missed for so long.

I finally pulled away enough to look intently into Edward's eyes. "It's all right now, Edward. I'm all right now." I tried to smooth the furrowed lines on his forehead. I kissed him there and then his lips. "You're mine now."

"Forever," he said with certainty, kissing me back. "Always."

We stayed like that for a few hours. Neither of us wanted to move, for if we moved, that meant we had to leave the island, our new piece of heaven. But I supposed that anywhere with Edward would be a piece of heaven. I couldn't get too down about it. Plus, I'd get to see Jake again. For a little while anyway.

We somehow got packed and left for the mainland. I left the stupid bikinis, though. Alice could get mad if she wanted to, but really, I didn't need them except for here. Besides, if we went anywhere that would require a skimpy bathing suit, I was sure Alice would be more than happy and willing to purchase me more.

We had time before our flight, so we hunted beforehand. Edward and I had been so consumed with each other on the island that we didn't even venture out to hunt until right before leaving for the states.

At the airport in Rio, I picked up a t-shirt for Jake that said _My best friend went to Rio and all I got was this crappy shirt._ It made me laugh, and I thought Jake would get a kick out of it too.

It was a long flight back to Seattle, but Edward and I talked the entire time. It was times like that that speaking too quickly and too low for human ears came in handy. He read people's thoughts, telling me secrets about them that we had no business knowing. We speculated on how it was so easy for him to hear my thoughts that last time we made love on the island. I decided that it was because even though the shield protecting my own mind took minimum effort on my part to keep up, I had been so completely out of it after what Edward had done to me, that I couldn't even put forth the minimum. My mind had been blown. Once again, Edward was quite full of himself until I reminded him of how incoherent he was as well.

We played the fill-in-the-blank game again, like we did on the way to Ecuador. That seemed like ages ago. He told me about his mother's ring that he wanted to give me, and we thought about the ceremony. Seeing how it would be disconcerting for most people if the Cullens returned and started looking up wedding venues and inviting loads of guests over for the wedding of their high-school son and his supposedly dead ex-girlfriend, we opted for a small ceremony at the house. Just the family would attend and Jake too, of course.

Edward noticed me fingering the charm bracelet that Jake had given me, and asked me about it. He had noticed that I never took it off. I couldn't. I needed it near me as a reminder of the only living legacy Charlie left behind. His Quileute friends. My friend, who helped me so much when I had lost everyone and had nothing, who refused to kill me when all I wanted was to die. He helped me survive when neither of us knew anything about my new life. He loved me despite my being his alleged mortal enemy. Suddenly I couldn't wait to see Jake again, if only to hug his half-wolf, half-human, whole-stinky form.

Once we landed in Seattle, we found the Volvo. Alice and Jasper had left it there for us. They apparently had so many cars at their other home, they left the ones they had in Forks in Forks. Edward drove, and for once, I didn't mind that he drove like a maniac to get back to everyone. Edward had called Carlisle right before we left Seattle to let him know we were en route, and I had called Jake while Edward drove. Strangely enough, they were together. Jake was over at Edward's house, which I found strange.

Though I couldn't see him, I could hear the excitement and smile in his voice. "Bells, hurry up and get here. I've got big news."

**A/N Yes, a bit of a cliffie. 'Cause that's how I roll. So you know you need to click down there and review. I will give you three reasons to do so: **

**A) Because you want me to write some more**

**2) I will be most likely snowed in tomorrow night and Wednesday so I need reviews to read, which will encourage me to write some more (seriously, they're predicting 12 inches of snow plus snow drifts 2-3 feet--FML, kill me now!)**

**D) As of Tuesday evening 12/8/09, I will have finished my Master's degree!!! There's a bottle of Reisling with my name on it over here! MadeleineJade (not my real name, of course), B.A., M.S. ed has a ring to it, no? Holler at me!**


	22. Say What?

**A/N These characters do not belong to me. If anything sounds familiar, they came from the books and/or movies.**

**See what happens when I'm all done with school? It's weird not having homework to procrastinate from, though. I somehow feel empty inside...Yeah, not really. It feels awesome! Thanks for all the congratulatory reviews from last chapter. I appreciate it, and the reisling was delicious, by the way.**

**Thanks to phantom, once again, for shining this up for me. And in record time, may I add. Vampire speed even. I don't think she sleeps either. It makes me wonder...**

**So anyhoo, here you go. Please GREAR.**

**Chapter 22: Say What?**

**BPoV**

"Bells, I've got big news," Jake told me, clearly excited.

"What?"

"Um, I think I'll just wait till you get here," he replied after a short, hesitant pause, obviously wanting to spill but reluctant to do so over the phone.

"What?" I asked, outraged. "You can't tell me you have 'big news' then pull that crap. Then why say anything at all?" I complained. I was more than a little annoyed with my friend. I made a face and shook my head in disdain. Edward laughed at me. He could hear Jake's end of the phone conversation just as well as I could.

"Oh, relax." I could practically hear him rolling his eyes. "You'll see me soon enough. I'll be at the Cullens' house."

"Whatever," I responded tersely. "Hey, why are you over there anyway?" I couldn't think of a single reason why he would be there when I wasn't.

"I…uh, I brought over pictures that my dad gave me to give you. They're old ones of our dads and us when we were younger, when you used to come visit. Billy thought that you'd like them, you know, to remind you of Charlie."

"Oh," I said quietly. That was so kind of Billy. I quickly forgot about Jake irritating me before with the big news tease. "Yes, I'd love to have them. Of course."

I started thinking hard about the times Jake was speaking of. It scared me, more than just a little, that I had to strain so hard to remember my visits. I was younger but old enough to have formed memories of them. But here I was, struggling. It shouldn't have been like that to think of Charlie. It just shouldn't have. I was starting to freak out. Just a little bit.

"I'll see you soon, Jake," I told him hastily before we both hung up.

"Dammit!" I swore in frustration as I shut my eyes tightly in an attempt to conjure up the fishing trips with Charlie when I'd visited as a kid. Everything was dim and vague in my mind, which was really unsettling. I recalled Charlie and Billy sitting on their lawn chairs fishing. Then, I'd get flashes of Jake and me playing and before that, Rachel, Rebecca, and me playing. There were no significant memories or events to recall though.

"What's the matter, Bella? We'll be home in about twenty-five minutes." Edward looked at me in concern.

"It's not that," I whined slightly. "Edward," I grabbed his right hand for support because I really was starting to freak myself out. "I'm starting to forget," I breathed, practically in horror. "I mean…I've forgotten so much already."

I tried thinking of Renee and Phil. I recalled the day I left Arizona for Washington. I remembered a few hikes up Squaw Peak and Camelback. Glimpses of high school and Phil's minor league games came forward as well. That calmed me slightly. And of course I remembered everything within the last couple years, the good and the bad. Those events were still more or less fresh in my mind though. Blurry and muffled, but there.

I dug in my backpack for my journal and started scribbling down events as they came to me. Calling Charlie to tell him I wanted to come live with him in Forks. The car ride home when he picked me up from the airport. Meals at the diner with Charlie. These were not exciting events by any means, of course, but they were memories of my dad that I didn't want to forget. I jotted down the same things about my mom and Phil, random thoughts about things I did with them and any specific memories that came to mind. Though I was able to document these memories at vampire speed and, thus, filled many pages in the rest of the car ride back to Forks, I regretted never journaling as a human. I had taken so much for granted.

"Feel a little better, love?" Edward asked once we arrived at his house, and I'd put the journal away. He was quiet the rest of the ride home once I started my impromptu project, leaving me to my thoughts and writing.

I nodded. "I do. A little bit anyway. And I'm hoping the pictures Jake's going to give me will jog some more memories."

"I'm sure they will," Edward said, kissing my forehead. "I wish I could help you remember more," he told me ruefully.

"You already help me, Edward. Just by being right here." I hesitated a moment before continuing, a deeply ingrained reluctance to reveal a weakness. "I feel stronger, emotionally anyway, with you next to me. I can handle anything a hundred times better than I would if you weren't here."

Edward pulled me closer to him. "Good," he said, placing a soft kiss on my lips. "Because I'm not going anywhere. You're stuck with me…and my family."

I laughed. "I love that." I looked around and saw a couple unfamiliar cars that must have belonged to the Denali coven. I was a little surprised Jake wasn't outside the house to greet us, what with his exciting news and all, plus the fact that he'd be surrounded by supposedly smelly vampires. I was even more surprised by Alice's absence, though. She was usually five steps ahead of everyone.

I looked at Edward. He must have been hearing thoughts. He looked like he was trying to figure out a puzzle. He was quiet but his brow was furrowed.

"What is it, Edward? What's going on? And where is everyone?" I stopped talking then so I could listen too. Everyone was inside, in the living room. They seemed to be having a meeting.

"No, I don't care," came the shrill voice of an angry female. I didn't recognize it. I looked at Edward to see if he knew who it was. His face was turning angry as well. He clenched his jaw.

"Edward, what is it?" I asked quietly. "Who is that?"

"Irina," another female said soothingly. I didn't recognize her voice either, but she answered my question for me.

"No!" the first female, Irina, said tersely. "My own family going against me? And you, Tanya, you and that…_freak_! How could you do this to me? I could never have conceived of such a betrayal," she hissed acidly.

So Tanya was trying to soothe Irina. I guess they'd told her about Laurent. I guess that she wasn't taking the news very well. But who was the freak she was talking about?

"No one's doing anything to you intentionally, Irina. If you just look at the facts…" It was a male voice that I wasn't familiar with. I could only assume it was Eleazar's.

"I am to be alone then," Irina said with finality.

"Stay close to me, Bella," Edward whispered as he grabbed my hand. His voice was so extremely low, I could barely hear it even with my heightened senses and being right next to him. I wondered if the others had heard. I nodded in assent.

Edward and I entered the house to find a female vampire who, I could only assume, was Irina being held back by two women on either side of her. They were facing Eleazar, Carlisle, a strawberry blonde, who must have been Tanya, Jake, and Esme. Emmett and Rosalie were standing to the side watching whatever the drama was unfold with Alice and Jasper next to them. I felt pretty calm when I walked in so I knew Jasper was trying to control the mood in the room.

I didn't think it had the intended effect on his target though. Irina's nostrils flared when she caught my gaze. She looked murderous. Suddenly, I wished Edward and I were back on the island still.

"YOU!" Irina spat, breaking free of the hold her sisters had on her and leaping at Edward and me. Edward stepped protectively in front of me just as the rest of the Cullens, Tanya, Eleazar, and Jake moved swiftly as well, surrounding and guarding Edward and me. Esme, of all people, was in front of the pack, right in Irina's face. I could see the back of her head. Carlisle placed his hand on Esme's shoulder.

"Think this through, Irina," Esme warned her, shocking me by almost hissing the words. "We don't want to use force, but I will not stand idly by and let you hurt my daughter, especially when you know good and well that none of this was her fault." I couldn't see it because of all of my bodyguards plus she wasn't facing me, but I pictured Esme's normally soft and beautiful face hard with her lips draw up in a snarl, eyes narrowed. Her voice was steady but low and ferocious. I'd never heard her like that before. It was clear that Esme was not playing around. She was a mama vamp defending her youngest, most vulnerable child.

It was quiet for an immeasurable moment while Irina took in the scene before her, I could only imagine. She was outnumbered; that was obvious. She'd have been out of her mind to try anything, though I suddenly had a desire to fight her myself. I was normally not a violent person, and even though she hadn't done anything directly to me or my family, Irina seemed to have all but condoned what Laurent had done on Victoria's behalf. I was strong now. I could fight back, and since Victoria was no longer around for me to serve any retribution to, Irina would do…if it came to that.

"Remember who you are, Irina," one of the sisters said.

"Stay out of this, Kate," Irina ordered. "You've made your position on the matter clear. You and Carmen have turned your backs on me as well."

"It doesn't have to be like this, Irina," Tanya pleaded.

"Quiet, whore!"

Tanya gasped quietly, or maybe it was me. I was pretty taken aback. This was turning out to be quite the soap opera, from what I could surmise. I'd never actually heard anyone say that to anyone else's face live before.

"First you side with them regarding Laurent and now…this," Irina sneered.

I felt Irina's soft footfalls reverberate on the floor. I still couldn't see her, but apparently she was walking cautiously around us. Each member in the group encircling me followed Irina's every move, turning their bodies as she walked by them and also making me move with them. Edward's right hand remained planted protectively behind him on my hip even as we took the few steps that we did.

"You've commandeered my family now, Carlisle. And your coven grows bigger still with the addition of Little Miss Bella," she spoke with such hate, dragging the syllables of my name out. Had I still been human I would have shuddered and perhaps whimpered in fear, but now, hearing her condescending tone, and to Carlisle of all people, only enraged me, made me return her feelings for me tenfold. Who was she to judge me? She didn't even know me. "And this…mutt," Irina added.

I was incredulous. I had somewhat of a clearer view of Irina now, and I shot daggers at her. No one called Jake a mutt but me. I also heard a growl rumble out of Jake himself. Tanya's hand flew up to rest on Jake's chest, as if to stop him from pouncing on Irina, but her eyes remained on her sister.

"Be very careful what you say, sister." Tanya spoke slowly and deliberately.

Irina laughed without humor. "Sister? You are no longer my sister. You belong to this…child of the moon."

_Child of the moon_? I had no idea what she was talking about.

"Irina," the women named Kate and Carmen practically begged.

"This is hardly what you think," Edward volunteered, to which Irina shook her head. She was not trying to hear whatever reason or truth Edward was attempting to offer her.

Irina was backing away from the rest of us and toward the door, ready to make her exit.

"You've all turned your backs on not only me but our entire world," Irina said tragically. "You've wounded me deeply." And with that, she dashed out the door.

"Irina, wait!" Edward shouted, but it was too late. She was gone. "She's heading back to Denali," he informed us. I probably should have felt regretful that we hadn't managed to straighten things out with her, but all I could think was: _God, what a sanctimonious bitch!_

It felt like forever before anyone else spoke. I was still standing there dumbstruck. Leave it Jake and Emmett to break the tension though.

"Damn!" they swore in unison.

"Language," Esme reprimanded Emmett, pointing at him and giving him the mom look. He merely shrugged and mouthed sorry to Esme.

"Bells!" Jake greeted me practically out of nowhere. "You're back!" He came over to me and nodded once at Edward. Edward nodded back, acknowledging Jake as he moved over so Jake could wrap me up in a hug so big he could rival Emmett's. It took me a second to respond since I was still in shock from what had happened with Irina, but I squeezed him back.

"Hey, Jake. It's so good to see you!"

"Bella, can't…breathe," he choked out.

"Oh, sorry," I said, smiling smugly. Turnabout's fair play.

"No you're not," Jake countered. "You know just how strong you are now. You probably know just how much pressure it would take to break me and then you back off a notch, don't you?" he laughed as he released me. My friend was quite astute. I chuckled along with him. "Luckily, it wouldn't take long for me to heal," he bragged.

"Really? Shall we test your theory and take bets on the healing time?" I asked. I saw Emmett's eyes light up like I just had the most brilliant idea ever. "I was kidding, Emmett," I said, shaking my head at him. Emmett's face fell, and then his mouth twisted into a sneer as he waved me off.

That served to lighten the mood in the room, or perhaps it was Jasper chilling us all out.

"So…" I said, looking around the room at everyone. My eyes settled on Esme and Carlisle. "That was awkward."

Esme gave me a rueful smile. "I'm sorry you had to witness that, Bella. We finally told Irina about Laurent's role in what happened to you and your parents and then about his ultimate demise." I nodded. That much I had already ascertained. I looked at Eleazar and the women from the Denali coven.

"Oh, Bella, forgive me," Esme apologized. She introduced me to Eleazar, Carmen, Kate, and Tanya. Tanya was just as beautiful as I had imagined her to be. I silently cursed her for no good reason except for being so pretty and for also having made advances at my Edward in the past. The past really didn't matter, but I silently cursed her all the same.

They all said hello and shook my hand graciously, even Tanya. She even apologized for Irina.

"She's quite upset with me, I take it," I commented as we sat around the living room. We were all much more relaxed now that Irina had gone.

"Yes," Tanya responded. "And as you can tell, she wants to…" she searched for the right words to use. "Get back at you and at the rest of us." Tanya gestured to her coven. "I'm hoping if we give her some time, she'll cool off and perhaps forgive us one day."

"I hope so," I replied. "It'll probably be easier for her to forgive you than me, though," I pointed out.

"Don't worry about her," Edward reassured me, rubbing my back. "Alice will see when she decides and we'll be ready. She'll still be outnumbered."

"Edward's right," Tanya agreed, smiling at Edward. I silently cursed her once again even though she was being kind to me. "But from what I hear, you don't need much protection, Bella. You seem to be able to handle yourself quite well." Tanya kept smiling, catching my eye for only a moment before settling her gaze on Jake, which I thought was weird. I quirked my eyebrow up at my friend. He returned my look with an almost embarrassed expression of his own. I would have said he looked sheepish but considering he was a wolf…

I was going to ask him what was up, but thought better of it. We had company over. They didn't need to see me grill Jake. Eleazar had suggested that they return to Denali anyway, to keep up with Irina even though it seemed she was finished with her family.

Eleazar, Carmen, and Kate all got into one car, leaving Tanya and the other car behind. Irina must have taken off running. I expected Tanya to finally get into her car, but she didn't. She had told the rest of her coven that she'd talk to them soon but would be staying here for the time being. I silently cursed her again. What did she have planned anyway? Edward had barely even acknowledged her, staying next to me at all times save for when Jake hugged me. Why was I even worried about Tanya being here?

I heard Jasper cackle quietly and shot him a dirty look. He quickly straightened up. Damn emo-boy picking up on my jealousy. Edward was by my side again, grabbing my hand and kissing the back of it and then squeezing it reassuringly. Damn Jasper again. He told on me. I upped my glaring power and hoped he could feel the waves of menace pouring off me.

"So, Bells," Jake started. "Can we talk?" Jake looked around at everyone else before finally looking directly at me, throwing in his cheery smile.

"Uh, sure," I answered, recalling the photos he wanted to give me as well as the big news he had. "You had pictures for me right?"

He nodded. "Yeah, they're still inside."

So we all headed back inside, but everyone went their own way, leaving Jake, Edward, and me in the living room. Tanya seemed like she wanted to stay with us, lingering a little, but ultimately went with Alice.

"So look at you two, huh?" Jake grinned at Edward and me once everyone was gone.

I tried to fight the smile that threatened to spread over my lips since I knew Jake was going to say something smug next, but his stupid smile was too infectious. Edward was smirking as well. He all out chuckled when he and Jake pounded fists.

"I told you he wasn't all that bad, Bells." Jake turned to pound my fist as well, but I cocked my head and rolled my eyes at him, feigning annoyance.

"Yes, you're very smart. Now where are these pictures you spoke of?" I asked. Edward laughed again as Jake reached for a large manila envelope and a flat brown paper bag, like the kind greeting cards are put in when you buy them from the store. Whatever it was in the bag was bulkier than a greeting card, however.

Jake handed the pictures to me. "My dad has been reminiscing about old times with Charlie," Jake told me glumly. "He figured if he missed Charlie this bad, you must be missing him worse."

I choked on my response and merely nodded. I didn't want to diminish Billy's grieving, and that wasn't what I wanted to convey by nodding. Billy was Charlie's best friend. I was pretty sure Jake knew that I only meant that I missed Charlie a whole lot too.

"So my dad was looking through old albums and pulled these out. I went ahead and made copies for my dad, but these are the originals," Jake pointed out while I rifled through the stack of photographs. "There's writing on the back of some of them."

I flipped each one over to check for Charlie's scrawl. A lot were blank, save for the date, but Charlie had written a caption of sorts for others.

_Bella's first fish_. It was a six-year-old me holding a fishing pole with a small fish dangling on the end of it that more resembled fish bait rather than a fish that someone would keep -or even admit to catching if they had caught it. But hey, I was only six. I was smiling proudly and Charlie was squatted down next to me. He had one arm around my shoulder and a thumbs up sign with his other hand. He was grinning like crazy himself.

_Mud pies_ was of Rachel, Rebecca, Jake, and me covered in mud from head to toe. It made us all laugh a little. Only a couple of dads would allow their children to get that dirty.

_Too cool for school_. Charlie had taken a picture of me sitting reading a book instead of fishing or paying attention to fishing. I didn't even know he had taken it. I was eleven at the time. Suddenly, I felt guilt wash over me. I was such a terrible daughter. Instead of being grateful to be spending time with my dad, whom I hardly ever saw, I was wasting time reading, ignoring him.

I closed my eyes and blew out an exasperated breath, shaking my head slightly at my adolescent self. I wished that I could do it all over again. I'd be different.

"God, I was such a little bitch," I berated myself.

"Bella," Edward and Jake both tried to negate me.

"No. I was. You know what I told Charlie?" I didn't even wait for them to acknowledge my question. "I told him," I answered myself bitterly, "that _fishing is so stupid_." I shook my head more vehemently. "That was his favorite thing to do, and I told him it was stupid," I spat, disgusted with myself.

"Bella, you were just a kid," Edward reasoned. I shook my head some more, moving on to the next picture.

_Bella's birthday_. It was a picture of Charlie and Renee in the hospital. Renee was holding the little bundle that was me as a newborn. They looked so young and really happy. I choked on a dry sob.

"Hey, Bells, I'm sorry. I didn't want to upset you. Billy didn't either…" Jake made as if to take the pictures back, but I shook my head and held them to my heart.

"No, Jake. It's fine. I mean, these are great. I'm sorry. I'm just still…I really miss them, that's all. I love these. I need to remember, the good and the bad. I don't want to forget them." Jake nodded silently while Edward pulled me a little closer to him.

"Hey, Jake, you think Billy would let me visit him some time? I'd like to get some more memories of Charlie written down."

"Of course, Bells. You don't even have to ask. You can both go through more albums together. It'll probably help my dad too, y'know?"

"Thanks," I replied, smiling slightly. "I think you're right."

"Hey, I'm always right," he said smugly, trying to get me to lighten up.

"In your dreams," I told him with a light shove to his shoulder. Well, I had meant for it to be a light shove. Okay, not really. I actually pushed him about five feet. He had fallen off the couch and slid across the floor. Edward laughed, impressed with the distance that resulted from my barely touching Jake.

"Damn, Bella!" Jake chided. I told him sorry with zero sincerity. "But, that is a nice segue to what's in the bag here." He reached for the bag and handed it to me.

It was a round, flat object made of wood with a loose net woven inside the hoop and feathers hanging from the bottom of it. It was a dream catcher. I couldn't understand why Jake would be giving me one of those. He knew I didn't sleep.

"It's not from me," Jake told me matter-of-factly. "It's from my dad." I gave him another weird look. "Well, it's from my dad to give to Charlie to give to you," Jake clarified.

"It's from Charlie?" I asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, uh…you really want to hear this?" Jake asked. I nodded. "Okay, well, uh, after you guys left," Jake said looking at Edward, "and Bella was, y'know, all depressed and stuff?" I felt Edward's arm tense and then pull me tighter. "Well, and then you were having all those nightmares?" Jake was looking at me again. I nodded, seeing where this was going. "Charlie was so worried, Bella. This was about the time he was going to send you to live with your mom. Anyway, he'd call my dad and ask if he'd gone through any of this with my sisters. Charlie told us about how you'd wake in the middle of the night all the time screaming or crying…"

Edward was really squeezing me tightly. I turned to look at him briefly. His golden eyes were glazed over, sad, remorseful. I patted his thigh with my free hand. "It's okay, Edward. Don't." I knew this was difficult for him to hear and that he was internally berating himself. He had known it was every night, but now he knew it was often each night that I'd have the nightmares.

"After describing all that to my dad, Billy got this. Charlie was ready to try anything to help you, Bells, but then your mom and Phil…"

I nodded in understanding. "Thanks," I told him quietly, clutching onto the gift my dad never got to give me in his unending attempt to help me. He was so unselfish. So protective and giving. So…Charlie. This was another piece of Charlie I had in my possession. I knew that I would probably outlive the organic material the dream catcher was made from, but I also knew it would be with me for a long time at least. "This is perfect, actually."

I fingered the netting and the feathers a moment, thinking about my dad, before finally coming out of my reverie and looking back up at Jake.

"Oh, hey, and you had good, no, great news to share? I'm sorry. I'm being a bad friend. Please tell me the news so I can join in the excitement and also so Edward can unclench his jaw before it becomes permanently locked," I joked, elbowing Edward in his ribs. I looked at him again and his lips conceded, one side lifted up into a rueful version of his crooked smile.

_Please don't beat yourself up, Edward_, I thought. _You can grill me more about it later if you wish to feed your inner masochist. I love you. Kiss me if you heard that._

Edward leaned toward me and placed a kiss on my temple. I smiled.

"Do you wanna hear the news or what?" Jake asked somewhat impatiently, though, he was clearly joking as evidenced by the roll of his eyes.

"Of course," I snapped. Edward perked up also. I noticed that he was trying to suppress a grin. I smacked Edward's arm. Whatever the news was, Edward knew already. "No fair," I complained. _Stupid mind reading powers_, I grumbled in my head. Edward only chuckled, so I smacked his arm again. He had heard that too. Good.

"Okay, well, remember that crazy bitch, Irina—"

"HEY!" Tanya yelled from upstairs. I made a face, forming a small "o" with my mouth. Jake had better watch himself, insulting people's sisters.

"Sorry, babe," Jake apologized, and my jaw dropped.

"What'd you just say?" I asked incredulously. _He just called Tanya 'babe'! I heard that correctly, did I not?_

"Yes, you heard correctly," Edward answered my thought.

My mouth was still agape as I worked it all out aloud, moving my pointer fingers willy nilly. "So when Irina said…and Tanya's still here…and you're all babe…and Edward's amused…and I'm confused…but I'm not anymore…" I looked hard at Jake, narrowing my gaze, willing him to be truthful. "Am I to understand that you…"

"Yup, Bells, I've imprinted," he said with certainty in his jubilant tone. "On a _bloodsucker_!"

"HEY!" I heard from everyone else in the house.

**A/N Well? Some of you guessed about the cliffie last chapter, and a lot of you were correct. Was it what you expected? If you haven't figured it out, Jake imprinted on Tanya. And how'd you like Esme in this one? I wanted to give her a "Not my daughter, you bitch!" moment. If you don't know what I'm talking about, you must not be a Harry Potter fan. Esme can be fierce too, y'know? Click below and review, please!**


	23. Strange Love

**A/N Last time I checked (and I check often) I'm still not Steph Meyer, therefore, these characters do not belong to me. But you all knew that already.**

**So, just for the record, I posted this on Saturday, December 19, 2009. FF is acting all kinds of wonky and not sending out email alerts. Grrr.**

**All right, real quick. This is an M-rated fic occasionally containing adult language and situations so those reading my fics should be at least 16 years of age, according to the site's rules. You all meet this stipulation right? Right. I am not trying to contribute to anyone's delinquency. **

**Okay, here's the next installment. The title's borrowed from Depeche Mode. Now GREAR (Go, Read, Enjoy, and Review).**

**Chapter 23: Strange Love**

**BPoV**

"Yup, Bells, I've imprinted," he said with certainty in his jubilant tone. "On a _bloodsucker_!"

"HEY!" I heard from everyone else in the house. They weren't angry though. They were just teasing.

I just kept staring at Jake, brows furrowed. I kept opening my mouth then closing it without uttering a single sound. Jake imprinted on a vampire. On Tanya…weird. Could he do that? Well, he just did, so obviously it was possible. But…wow.

Jake glanced nervously at Edward before returning his eyes to my bewildered expression. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Edward shrug at Jake. The mind reader was of no help to my friend in this circumstance.

"Bells? Say something," Jake prodded.

"Huh," was all I could articulate. It pretty much summed up what was in my head at that moment. Jake continued to stare at me expectantly, willing me to say more. "Con…gratulations," I managed to utter. Finally, a smile slowly formed on my lips as I finished processing everything. "Is congratulations the right thing to say?" I asked.

Jake grinned back at me and shrugged. "Congratulations works," he laughed.

I offered my fist for Jake to pound, which he did, but then I pulled him into another hug.

"Jake, this is…crazy and wonderful and…really crazy, but I'm so happy for you. Are you happy?"

"I am, Bells. I'm…insanely happy. Thanks."

I held Jake for as long as I could stand, which was exactly five seconds, before I all but pushed him off of me. Jake was more than eager to not be that close as well.

Edward snickered. He must have heard Jake's thoughts.

"You still stink, Bella," Jake complained.

I threw his own words back at him though, the ones he'd said to me when I had first awoken to my new life and keen new senses. "Well, you're no botanical garden yourself." We all laughed, and in an instant, everyone was back in the living room with us. Tanya sat right next to Jake. I looked away for a second, giving them a moment when they locked eyes. I didn't want to intrude on whatever kind of imprint moment they were having. I caught Edward's gaze instead. He merely winked at me. I smiled in response.

I turned to look at Jake as well as Tanya seeing as she was right there. They looked happy, individually. Jake's eyes were sparkling as he stared intently at Tanya. They were full emotion. Love. Admiration. Respect.

Tanya was beautiful already, of course. She looked to be about seventeen or eighteen, though really she was older, way older than Edward even. Her strawberry blond locks were unfairly shiny. She looked angelic. She was no Rosalie, but Tanya was indeed a knock out. Anyone could see that. I really didn't have a 'before' picture or image to draw a reference from, but I would have said that she was beaming. Like a woman…well, like a woman in love.

And collectively they looked amazing together. Jake's dark skin complimented Tanya's light complexion. They each made the other pop. They were mesmerizing. I realized I was gawking, but I couldn't help it. It was just…weird and beautiful seeing them together! They both returned my gaze with sheepish, punch drunk expressions of their own.

"Sorry," I apologized.

"For what?" Tanya asked.

"I'm staring and I'm trying not to, but I'm just so…curious."

"All right. I knew you'd think of something to say eventually," Jake commented. "Out with it, Bells," he encouraged.

"Okay," I replied, taking a deep breath before I assaulted them with my questions. "When did this happen? _How_ did this happen? Is this okay? I mean, I know it's _okay_, but is it acceptable?" I grimaced. "I didn't mean it like that. What does the pack think? What did Billy say? And what about your coven, Tanya? And doesn't--"

"Bella," Jake said half sternly and half jokingly, putting a stop to my barrage of questions. "You gonna keep firing off questions, or do you actually want answers too?"

I made another face. "Sorry." I guess I was coming on a little strong, but I was truly curious. The rest of the family merely chuckled at my embarrassment.

"We had the same questions, Bella," Alice said reassuringly.

"Yeah," Emmett added. "We just didn't have the gall to ask them all at once," he laughed.

I sent another apologetic look in the direction of Jake and Tanya.

"It's fine," Tanya told me with an understanding smile.

I looked directly at Jake. "Okay. Go."

"Okay, well three days ago that crazy…" Jake glanced at Tanya when she nudged him, preempting his name-calling. "Um, _Irina_ was back here again searching for the leech with the dreads, Laurent?" I nodded. "Yeah, well, the rest of Tanya's coven was here too. I hadn't seen them yet, remember when we talked?"

I nodded again, interrupting him with a question that had popped into my head. "If you hadn't seen them, how'd you know there were a few females and a male?" Jake smirked and flared his nostrils. I watched him for a moment. "Yeah, but...uh...never mind," I said, shuddering slightly. I decided there were some things I just didn't need to know, one of those being how or _what_ Jake smelled to be able to discern males from females.

"Anyway, they were following Irina, just as I was, following her scent. I finally came across all of them, except for Irina. I saw Eleazar and Carmen first. I was going to attack them, but Eleazar held up his hands and told me they came in peace. He said he had talked to Carlisle and that they were friends, so I stopped and listened. That was when Tanya came back to where we were to see what Carmen and Eleazar were doing. I saw her and…" Jake stared at Tanya again as he drifted off.

Before I could ask Tanya if she felt anything like Jake did right away, she said, "I saw Jacob in his wolf-form. I looked into his eyes and I was immediately drawn to him…curious." She looked at me and shrugged. I looked back at her, bewildered. "Well, he kept looking at me like he knew me. Like he knew my soul? I know that sounds crazy but…"

Jacob continued the story.

"Eleazar asked if I was Jacob Black. I nodded. He said they knew about you, Bella. He wanted to talk peacefully. I took a chance and went with my gut. It may have been stupid and definitely risky, but I trusted him, all of them, so I phased back," Jake continued. He smirked and so did Tanya, which I found kind of strange. Must have been an inside joke.

"I was still curious so I watched him when he phased back and dressed," Tanya told me. "I was…_very_ impressed."

"You can skip that part," Edward told them. I glanced at Edward and he shuddered slightly, looking like he was trying to rid his mind of thoughts or images. Ah, Jake had been naked in front of Tanya, and she had been _impressed_. Okay, I didn't need those mental images of my best friend.

"Yes. Please skip that part," I agreed. The two lovebirds merely smiled slightly, not seeming to be a bit embarrassed.

"So we talked. I knew they came in peace but that Irina was still looking for Laurent. Everyone else knew what happened to him but her. They were waiting for Carlisle and the others to come back to tell Irina. They told me they were on the Cullens' side, especially knowing what that blood…what Laurent had done to your family, Bells." I nodded in understanding. "So the rest of them found Irina and headed back to Denali until today, but Tanya stayed."

I looked at Tanya.

"I felt like I couldn't leave Jacob," she said.

"And I didn't want her out of my sight," Jake added.

"So we just…talked," Tanya said, grinning. "For two days." Jake's big smile returned, mathching Tanya's.

"Psshh, _talked_," Emmett mocked quietly. Obviously, we all heard him.

"Shut up, Emmett," I snapped at him, not wanting to know any more detail about their two days together than that. "They just _talked, okay?"_

"Okay, okay," Emmett responded, putting both his hands up to appease me. There were remnants of a smirk left on his lips though. I chose to ignore said smirk.

_They did more than just 'talk', didn't they_? I asked Edward in my head. I glanced at him quickly. I didn't really need a response but he offered one anyway, closing his eyes and nodding infinitesimally.

I shuddered a little again but moved on, trying to forget this part.

"Okay, so you imprinted," I gestured to Jake. He nodded. "And you…" I gestured to Tanya. "_Imprinteed_?"

"I formed a bond with Jacob, yes," she smiled.

"And your families thought…"

"The pack thought it was weird, but hey, I'm the alpha," Jake shrugged. "What can they do?"

"And Billy?" I asked.

"My dad is cool with it. I mean, you can't fight an imprint. You can't control it. It just happens. _He's_ never seen it happen and he's never heard if it happening, but I guess there's a first for everything."

"And your family seems supportive," I said to Tanya. "Well, except for Irina."

"You're right. Irina isn't happy with anything or anyone right now," Tanya replied. "She and Laurent had a bond as well, apparently, but for him to side with Victoria and do what he did…it was heinous and unforgivable. We are a peaceful coven as well, Bella." I nodded. "We underestimated Irina's bond with Laurent. We had thought they were just a fling, especially after he left to help Victoria, though we didn't know at the time what he was going to do. Irina felt that his coming back here to finish some _'business'_ showed that he was a man of his word."

There were _tsks_ of disbelief and incredulity from around the room.

"I know," Tanya continued. "It was a twisted logic. I'm really hoping Irina will come to her senses." Tanya's expression was equal parts hurt and hopeful.

"What does this mean for your tribe?" I asked Jake. Their sole purpose was to destroy vampires and the only reason they didn't attack the Cullens was because of the treaty, but the treaty didn't include Tanya's coven, as far as I knew.

"That's tricky," Jake answered. "We still have the treaty with the Cul—I mean, with _your_ coven," he corrected himself to include me in with the Cullens. It warmed my heart for him acknowledge my place in the family. "And there's an unwritten rule of imprinting where whoever we imprint on is protected by the rest of the pack. Plus, whatever I say goes, but that's not to stop any of the rest of the pack from splintering off, which I don't think they'll do, but it's a possibility. We know that the rest of Tanya's coven is vegetarian and peaceful, so as of now, the treaty extends to the Denali coven. Even Irina, but," Jake looked at Tanya pointedly while still speaking to me, "If she bites a human on our land, obviously she's fair game _and_ if she tries to hurt you, Bella. You're my family too. Maybe not by blood, but close enough, and I protect my family." Jake was looking at me again square in the eye. He was making me a promise, giving me his word. "That goes for the rest of the pack." Once again, my heart swelled at Jake's loyalty. He was more than I deserved, but I was grateful for his friendship all the same.

Tanya let out a breath. Her face was hard and her voice was tight. "It won't come to that," she said to Jake.

"Let's hope not," Jake responded solemnly. He and Tanya shared another quiet moment before he looked back at me. "Any other questions, Bells?"

I bit my lip, wanting to ask but not really want to at the same time. "It's kind of a silly question," I prefaced.

"Is it about sex?" Jake asked. "Because…"

If I'd still had blood in my face, it would have surely drained out. I was beyond mortified. "NO!" I shouted. "God, no!" I put my hands up as if to shield my face.

Jake, along with everyone else in the room, was laughing at me. Edward pulled me closer to him when he saw how embarrassed I was. He was still chuckling though. I gave his leg a smack.

"Relax, Bells. I know you wouldn't ask about sex in front of everyone. Damn, you're too easy to rile up, y'know that?"

I pursed my lips and narrowed my eyes in response. He was enjoying toying with me a little too much. I crossed my arms over my chest and just waited for the laughter to subside.

"Okay, okay," Jake finally said, calming himself down. "What's your question?"

I shook my head. "Never mind," I answered tersely.

"Oh, great. Now she's pissed," Jake grimaced.

"Yeah she is," Jasper confirmed for him.

"C'mon, Bella, ask me," Jake pleaded. He sounded slightly repentant, but not sorry enough for my liking.

I ignored Jake and looked at Tanya instead, aiming my question at her. "Doesn't the wet dog smell bother you? How can you stand it?" I asked, wrinkling my nose.

Tanya threw her beautiful head back and trilled out bell-like laughter. Jake rolled his eyes at me while I stuck my tongue out at him.

"I have to admit, I thought he was kind of stinky at first," she began to answer.

"_Kind of_?" I asked skeptically.

"Yeah, Bella, I get it. We all get it. I stink," Jake commented tersely. I nodded at him, confirming that he stunk and also to show him that two could play at this embarrassment game. His lips conceded into a smile though, so I knew there were no hard feelings there.

"_BUT_," Tanya added, "It doesn't bother me for some reason. I'm used to it, I guess…or else I care for him too much to let it be an issue…"

I resented that last supposition she made. I cared for Jake too, but he really did stink. I wasn't just giving him a hard time about it.

"And Tanya doesn't smell bad to you, Jake?" I finally addressed him again.

Jake shook his head. "Maybe it's an imprinter/imprintee thing," he suggested with a shrug. I supposed that explanation would have to do. "Any other _silly questions_?" he asked with raised eyebrows.

I thought a moment. "Oh, yes, well, it's not so much silly though. What was Irina's remark about Tanya belonging to a _child of the moon_?" That one confused me.

"That, I don't know," Jake answered.

"A child of the moon is a real werewolf, Bella, which Jacob is not," Edward answered.

Jake and I both looked at him. Our expressions were both that of confusion.

"Technically, you're not, Jacob. A _real_ werewolf, turns at the full moon. The fact that you can phase back and forth, pretty much at will and at any time of the day makes you a shapeshifter rather than a _child of the moon_."

"So there are real werewolves that exist?" I asked.

"Hey!" Jake protested, taking exception to not being considered_ real_.

"Okay, Jake, for all intents and purposes, you're a werewolf, but you don't howl at the moon and change only at the full moon. And I'm sure Wolfsbane Potion won't keep you from changing right?" I asked. Perhaps I'd read Harry Potter too many times.

"Also, true werewolves don't work with a pack. They are, for the most part, loners. They can bite humans and make them like them, but you and your pack cannot do that. The shapeshifting is in your genetic makeup. The gene is activated because of the likes of us, and I'm sorry about that, by the way," Edward added.

"Shapeshifters change into animal form or a person they've seen before," Carlisle interjected. "The Quileutes, for whatever reason, took the form of wolves."

Jake's brow was furrowed now, taking in this new information.

"All right, so, so what if Jake's a shapeshifter rather than a true werewolf or a child of the moon like Irina said," I wondered aloud. "Is being a true werewolf a really bad thing? I mean, aside from biting people and stuff. It's just another mythical being that isn't myth anymore, right?" What was the big deal?

"There's a member of the Volturi, Caius, who's had a bad history with the true werewolves. He was nearly destroyed by one and upon surviving, had them hunted to near extinction," Carlisle informed us, well, he informed Jake and me. I was pretty sure the others knew all this already.

"So if he gets word that Jake and his pack are…" I looked at Jake and started to feel sick to my stomach. I couldn't finish my thought. There was a chance that this Caius character would set out to destroy Jake and his pack.

"Bella," Jake said, trying to sound soothing as well as authoritative. "I can see you starting to freak out. Don't."

I ignored him. Right. Don't worry. Whatever. "What's to stop Irina from going to tell the Volturi?" I asked no one in particular. She was angry and vengeful. It'd be a no brainer for her to rat Jake out. I was more than a little put out that no one else seemed to be worried about this.

"I'm keeping a lookout, Bella," Alice reassured me.

I considered this. I didn't want to openly criticize Alice's power, but Irina knew about Alice's gift, didn't she? She could bypass it and decide last minute in haste. Could Alice see someone decide to decide hastily?

"Bells, I see your wheels turning in there," Jake said, interrupting my thoughts. "Your concern is duly noted."

I looked around the room. No one seemed nervous. They all looked quite confident, actually.

"Does Irina know that Alice can't see around the wolves?" I asked Tanya. She shook her head no. I was pretty sure she wouldn't give that secret away to her sister or whatever she considered Irina to be anymore, so the possibility of Irina dog-napping one of the guys in the pack to keep from being 'seen' was put to rest.

"Fine then. I won't freak out…yet." I couldn't promise anything more than that. What I really wanted to do was go out and find Irina and shake some sense into her. Or rip her head right off and tear her limb from limb and burn the pieces myself, but no one needed to know that at the moment. Crap! Alice probably saw what I had been thinking. She wouldn't give me away, I didn't think.

We all sat there in silence for a moment. There was nothing left to say on the matter. I wanted to get away though, if only for a little while.

"Bella, do you want to go hunt?" Edward asked as if sensing my need to leave everyone.

I tried not to look overly excited, but I was happy he had suggested it. I nodded. "Yes. Let's." I looked at Jake. "You think I can come by tomorrow and see Billy?" I asked.

"Yeah, of course," he replied.

I nodded. "Great." Edward and I both stood up.

"Now go kill something, Bells," Jake grinned. "I know you want to. Say hello to Thumper for me." He cackled.

"Did you want to arm wrestle or something before I go, Jake?" I glared jokingly at him. "Maybe race or do push-ups?"

"Uh, no, that's okay," he answered grudgingly. I didn't think he'd want me to embarrass him in front of his girlfriend. "Touche, Bells. Touche." Jake tipped his imaginary hat off to me, which made me giggle.

Edward and I told everyone goodbye and goodnight before taking off running together.

**EPoV**

I had sensed that Bella needed to get out of the house. She said that she wouldn't freak out yet, but I believed she only said it to appease Jake and the rest of us for the time being. She was agitated though.

We didn't speak while we ran. I let Bella lead the way. I was curious to see where she planned on hunting. Perhaps it'd be someplace she'd run to before when she was exploring her new immortal life. I also wanted Bella to have the feeling of control over something, even if it were something as simple as hunting. She was feeling pretty helpless earlier at the house, though Alice showed me the vision Bella had of tearing off Irina's head, and Jasper felt the rage that was rolling off of Bella as well when Irina was still in the house and when we were discussing Caius.

I knew she was worried for Jake and his pack. She probably thought the rest of us were crazy not to be worried, but Alice was cognizant of Irina's state of mind now. She'd be checking in often on Irina's intentions.

I had to admit, I wanted to destroy Irina myself, lunging at Bella like she did. She really was out of her mind. As if any of us were going to allow her to so much as ruffle Bella's hair. Esme did put a scare into Irina though. Esme didn't make idle threats either. Once Emmett wouldn't stop cursing while playing video games even after repeated warnings from Esme. She got so annoyed that she unplugged the video game console and crushed it in her hands as easily as if it were a marshmallow. You did not want to cross Esme. If not for Carlisle placing his hand on Esme's shoulder when she spoke to Irina, Irina would have ended up a pile of ashes then and there. I was sure there wouldn't have been many objections, save for the Denali coven. And even then, probably not all of them would have complained.

Bella was fast, but I kept up with her just fine. It was nice knowing she wasn't trying to lose me anymore. She'd glance over at me a couple times while running. I'd wink at her in an attempt to lighten her mood. She smiled in return a couple of times, so I guess it worked.

Bella finally slowed her pace and stopped running after we were well into Canada. We caught wind of two mountain lions that were in close proximity to each other. We each took one down. I let Bella have the larger one so she wouldn't have to hunt another. I went after a large buck while Bella waited and then we disposed of the carcasses together.

There was a stream nearby that we walked along side of after washing our hands in it.

"Feel a little better?" I asked, grabbing hold of Bella's hand.

"I guess," she answered with a sigh.

"Hey, I didn't hear since I was busy with my own lion, but did you apologize to your prey right before snapping his neck?"

"As usual," Bella replied with a small smile. "Hey, thanks for giving me the bigger lion, by the way," she said hopping up on my back and wrapping her limbs around my body to hold on. I loved when she did that. As strong and independent as she was, Bella enjoyed it when I carried her. I kissed both her palms and placed them back where they were against my chest.

"Did you picture yourself apologizing to Irina too before snapping her head off?"

Bella hesitated. I could feel her lips pursing. "Alice?" she asked.

"Yep, Alice showed me."

"Irina wouldn't get an apology from me if she put Jake's life on the line like I think she's going to do. You don't believe she's just going to go away quietly do you, Edward? Like Jake said, she's a crazy bitch."

"Yes, I know," I responded. "Still, we can't destroy her merely because she's a crazy bitch." Even though that was what I wanted to do to Victoria, but we had personal ties to Irina and her coven after all. "Let's wait for her to instigate a physical altercation. Believe me, Bella, she knows she's marked. One false move and she'll be dealt with. There's a whole line of vampires and wolves who have their eyes on her right now."

"Yeah, but she's mine," Bella said with finality. "I call dibs." I had to laugh. It was like Irina was a piece of pie or something that everyone was fighting over.

Bella pointed toward a grassy area for me to walk to. It was on the side of a hill. She hopped off once I got near it and took my hand to lead the way again.

"Been here before?" I asked.

"This was one of the first places I came. Unintentionally, of course. After I'd hunt, I'd lie here a while looking at the clear night sky. It's a good place to think."

We both lied there on the grass. Bella placed her head in the crook of my neck, and we stargazed together.

"Tell me, Edward, is it weird for Jake to imprint on Tanya?"

My chest rumbled a little with laughter because I was so amused by the entire situation. Had I not read their thoughts for myself, I would have found it highly unlikely. The Quileute imprint was indeed an astounding and intriguing phenomenon. It was definitely likened to our bonded relationships. I was relieved and genuinely happy for the two of them. Who would have known Tanya would be capable of settling down one day? Certainly not any of us.

"It's certainly…unorthodox, but then look at our entire existence. There aren't any hard and fast rules anymore. Everything that you thought was impossible as a human, really isn't. And even now, as an immortal, _you_ break the mold of what we believed a newborn should be like. So even within the supernatural world, there are wonders." I placed a kiss on Bella's head. She was my personal wonder, after all.

"Does Tanya feel as strongly about Jake as he does about her?"

"Ah, is this what your apprehension is about, Bella? Tanya's loyalty?"

"Am I wrong to question it?" Bella countered. "I don't want Jake to get hurt. Just let me know if there are two heads that need to be snapped off." Her ferocity and loyalty both amused and amazed me.

"You don't have to take down a whole coven of vampires, Bella," I assured her. "I can tell you that Tanya has indeed formed a bond with Jacob. Her loyalty is with him. She is desperately hoping that it will not need to be tested, however."

"She really thinks Irina's going to all of a sudden be okay with everything?" Bella asked dubiously. "She's delusional. Of course, I guess I knew that much already." I heard the smile in Bella's voice. It gratified me that she was confident in my feelings for her and only her, believing that I really never had a desire to be with Tanya. Ever. I chuckled at Bella's statement.

"Yes, well, we all have our faults, don't we?"

"Isn't that the truth?" Bella replied. "I'm a bit of a hot head and I'm stubborn."

Bella rolled her body over so now she was lying on top of me, peering at me. "You're passionate and loyal," I corrected her. I didn't see these things as faults in Bella like she did. They were attributes in my eyes. Then I secured her in place with my arms as I began to tell her my faults.

"And I am…an overthinker and…"

"A know-it-all," Bella concluded for me. "But really, those don't sound like faults," she mused. "Not as bad as being a hot head or stubborn anyway."

"At least you're not a crazy bitch," I offered. "But I'm hot headed as well," I added.

"Don't be so sure, Edward. I'm sure somewhere inside of me, there's a crazy bitch ready to tear off another crazy bitch's head."

"I love your feistiness," I told her, kissing her square on her lips. "But let's see if we can't channel that feistiness in another direction right now."

"What did you have in mind?" Bella asked, knowing good and well which direction I had in mind, for she pressed her body harder against mine. She was grinding her pelvis into mine in just the right way that she had to have _felt_ the direction I had in mind.

"Bella, can I hear your mind again while I make love to you?" I asked, thinking about how hot the last time was when she claimed my entire body as hers. I recalled how I easily heard her right after I had given her a _spiritual experience_. I smiled. "If I blow your mind like I did before, can I hear your thoughts?"

"If you blow my mind like you did before, I won't be able to contain my thoughts," she replied. She must have been thinking about the last time on the island as well. I could smell her arousal already. Bella climbed off of me, pulling me up to a sitting position and pulled my shirt off over my head. I was a little disappointed she didn't rip it off, but I supposed she didn't want to have to explain why I was shirtless once we got home. Well, she wouldn't have had to explain why, but she'd have been embarrassed about it.

We both made quick work of our clothes, placing them in a pile. I positioned Bella on her back while I hovered over her. Her skin was only exposed for a moment. I admired it glistening in the moonlight before I covered every square inch of her either by my mouth, my hands, or my own body.

I kissed Bella deeply, sliding my tongue against hers while my hands caressed and kneaded any part of her body they came into contact with. My mouth moved from her own mouth, down her neck, making sure to kiss her scar at the base. Bella moaned and writhed her body against my touch. She'd get louder when I touched her more sensitive areas: her hardened peaks, the underside of her breasts, her naval, and then her hip bones. Once I started licking and sucking on the inside of her thighs and creases of her legs where they met her hot center, Bella was already bucking her hips into my face and breathing hard. I hadn't even tasted her yet.

I licked my lips in anticipation. Finally, I touched my tongue to her, going up the length of her folds. A long hiss escaped Bella's mouth, encouraging me to keep going. I parted her legs a little more and stroked my tongue against her and inside her with more fervor.

_Oh, my god, Edward,_ Bella screamed in her head. It egged me on further. _Yes, like that_, she thought as I relax my tongue to run up her folds again before hardening it to thrust inside of her. Over and over again I repeated the motions until I could feel Bella's body tightening and clamping onto my tongue. _Right there! Don't move. Oh god, don't move. I'm coming. Oh, god, Edward!_ I held her tightly as she shook with pleasure. I gave Bella a moment to ride out the waves of her climax before kissing my way back up her body, lingering on her breasts once again.

_Thank you_.

"My pleasure," I said, smiling against her skin.

_No, I believe it was my pleasure_, Bella responded. _Now for your pleasure, love_.

I loved when she called me that. And I really loved what Bella did next. She turned her body so that she was facing the ground but then got on all fours, turning her head toward me and licking her lips.

_Take me_. _I know you like this position, and I just want to feel you inside me again please._

That killed me. She said all that and then threw in a _please_ at the end. She could be sexy and sweet all at once. But she was right. We made love in this position on the island and even I was taken aback by how much I enjoyed it.

I needed no further invitation. I quickly took Bella, entering her from behind and burying myself deep within her. I kissed her shoulders and neck while I moved myself in and out.

_Touch me, Edward_, she pleaded. _I can support both of us. _And then Bella pictured one of my hands on her breast while the other was pressed into her core, massaging her most sensitive spot.

I did as Bella wished, pounding into her harder whenever she requested it. I could feel Bella's walls beginning to contract and squeeze around me. _I'm almost there. Harder. Yes, give it…harder…there. Make me come, Edward._

Being able to please Bella and hearing her mind as I was doing so, sent me over the edge. I plunged into her one last time before we both climaxed together. I groaned out Bella's name as I pulsed and throbbed inside of her. Bella had turned her head so that hers was right next to mine. She, too, moaned in ecstasy, practically purring against my jaw.

_I love you_.

"I love you too, Isabella," I told her, placing another kiss on her temple.

We stayed there a while after we'd gotten dressed, enjoying the peace and quiet and just being together. I was grateful that Bella's mind was free of worry for the time being.

**A/N So I'm going out of town on holiday for a week. I don't know if I'll get much writing done. I'm hoping I will. In the mean time, click below and drop me a line please. Did you read and enjoy? If so, review. If not, review anyway. What do you want for Christmas or Hanukkah or Kawanza or Yule or Festivus? I'd like more inspiration...and a watch would be nice too.**


	24. Memories

**A/N Steph Meyer owns all things Twilight. MJ is NOT Steph Meyer.**

**Okay, happy new year, everyone! Sorry for the little drought between chapters, but here you go. Big thanks to Phantom for getting this back so fast despite being bogged down by exams. Good luck on the next one! Ready? Set? GREAR!**

**Chapter 24: Memories**

**BPoV**

Upon returning to the house late in the morning, everyone was busy in their respective rooms doing last minute packing and arranging for movers. It made it all seem very real that the Cullens were indeed leaving Forks forever. This time around, though, I'd be with them.

Edward and I made our way to his room. It felt very strange stepping foot in there for the first time in months. I walked in, looking around slowly, taking it all in and trying to compare it to the room from my hazy, human memories. I noticed Edward watching me.

"It really hasn't changed much," I commented, looking over his vast CD collection.

"From…"

"From before you guys left."

"Didn't you come in here before? You know, after the change?" Edward asked curiously.

I shook my head, slightly surprised that he hadn't noticed the absence of my scent. Maybe the scent of me as a human obscured the vampire-me smell.

I had explored the rest of the house on my own, but I never entered Edward's room. "I thought about it, but it was too painful to actually do," I confessed solemnly, biting my lip as I met Edward's gaze. Despite where we were in our relationship now, I still felt a pang of hurt when talking about or thinking about his absence in my life before. Edward was so attuned to my emotions, I could tell that he felt my pain -his expression was tortured as he sat down on his black leather couch.

I wondered, idly, if he'd ever forgive himself. I winced as I realized it would probably happen at around about the same time as the pain of his absence faded from my memory.

Never.

He held his arms out for me to join him, wrapping his arms around me as soon as I was within reach, and pulling me against his chest as I sat on his lap.

"I'm sorry, love," Edward whispered, pressing his forehead into the top of my head. "So sorry," he apologized again for leaving. He didn't need to apologize. I didn't want him to, but he did anyway. "Never again," he vowed.

"I know," I replied.

After a minute he broke away from me, getting up to retrieve something from one of his dresser drawer. He was back sitting next to me on the couch in an instant.

"So, this is the ring I want to give you, Bella," Edward told me as he opened his hand and showed me his mother's wedding ring. "If you want it, that is. It belonged to her mother as well as her grandmother. I didn't have a sister for Mother to pass it on to, so…"

I stared speechless at the piece of jewelry in his palm, fingering the ring lightly while Edward spoke. The design was gorgeous in all its vintage splendor, a delicate gold band with an oval gem nestled on top surrounded by an intricate web of gold and more glinting diamonds. It wasn't over the top in any way, though. It was classic. Classic and lovely. I was as elated as I was incredulous. I was beyond articulation, unable to thank Edward sufficiently for deeming me worthy of this family heirloom.

"I realize it's old fashioned," he continued a little nervously. Evidently unnerved by my lack of response, "and if you want a more contemporary style we could go and…"

I didn't allow Edward to finish such a blasphemous statement. As if I could, or would, reject this gift. The idea was completely absurd. I placed my hand atop Edward's, sandwiching his mother's ring between us, and cutting off his little speech with a kiss.

"It's perfect, Edward," I choked out through more emotion than I had anticipated I'd ever feel upon receiving an innocuous piece of jewelry. "Thank you."

Edward smiled widely, the relief and joy reaching to his eyes.

"Really?" he asked.

"Of course!" I chided, annoyed he'd even doubted it.

"Okay then," Edward said as he slid off the couch onto bended knee. He was still holding my hand as he asked, "I'm beyond grateful that we've found each other again and that you've given me a second chance. I promise that I will never let you down again, and I'm so ready to begin forever with you. Isabella Marie Swan, will you marry me?"

My mouth fell open. I couldn't believe he'd actually asked after we'd already decided this before even leaving the island. I would have laughed if Edward hadn't been looking up at me with such wide eyes, awaiting my official response.

_You called me Swan_, I remarked in my mind as I opened it up to Edward. He smiled so I knew he had heard. _Forever, no matter what_, I added silently.

Edward nodded. "Absolutely." He was still looking at me expectantly. He really needed me to answer.

I bit my lip, nodding my head before answering, "Yes, of course I will, Edward. Thank you!"

Edward was grinning as he slipped the ring on, admiring it a moment before kissing it and my finger. I chuckled as I pulled him back up to sit next to me again. I stretched my arm out, holding my hand away at different angles so I could get a good view of the ring and how it looked on my finger.

"Pretty nice, huh?" I inquired, nodding. I leaned lazily against Edward so he could wrap his arms around me once again.

"I love it," Edward replied. "Perfect, love," he told me as he placed a kiss on the top of my head. I turned slightly so he could kiss my lips, which he did in earnest. Before we could get carried away, however, we were interrupted by some urgent knocking on the door. We stopped mid-kiss and looked at each other.

Edward sighed before telling Alice to come in. He had barely gotten the words out and Alice came bounding into the room, all but tearing the door off its hinges, and pulling me up into a hug.

"The ring is beautiful! Congratulations!" Alice squealed.

"Thanks," I laughed. It was astonishing how happy she genuinely was for us.

"It's about time you settled down, Edward," she told him authoritatively.

"I couldn't agree with you more, Alice," he chuckled.

"So, I was thinking," Alice began as she pulled me over to the couch and sat down between Edward and me, "that we'd keep the ceremony low key seeing as you're really not supposed to be here, Bella."

"Good call," I replied.

"So how about a very simple ceremony here tomorrow afternoon with just the family?" she asked.

"Can Jake and Billy be here?" I asked hopefully.

Alice rolled her eyes, conveying annoyance with me that I was not quick enough to realize that she was feigning. "Bella, I said _family_." I looked at her. I couldn't help but be taken aback by her petulant tone. "So of course!" she finished.

I laughed at myself as I threw my arms around Alice's neck. Of course Alice would allow me to invite whomever I wanted to my own wedding. But I also hugged her again for acknowledging Billy and Jake as family. They were all that was left of my human family, and now the Cullens were taking them in as well, pretty much because they were so important to me. Their acceptance knew no bounds.

"So, who's performing the ceremony?" I asked. "And I'm assuming you have something for me to wear already, right, Alice? Or shall I just wear jeans?" I looked at both Alice and Edward.

Edward chuckled. "You can wear whatever…"

"I have picked out for you," Alice intervened acidly, sneering at Edward. Perhaps she'd caught a glimpse of a future where I wore my old, ratty gray sweats to the wedding.

I smiled. I knew Alice had me covered. "So, who's performing the ceremony?" I asked again. I was a little scared when both Alice and Edward grinned at me. Uh-oh. This had to be good.

"Your choice: Carlisle, Jasper, or Emmett," Alice replied.

My brows immediately furrowed, but before I could ask about it, Alice explained.

"Well, we couldn't get just anyone in here to do it since the entire town thinks you're dead. Who better to preside than one of us?" Alice continued. "And finally, do you know how easy it is to get ordained online? Shockingly easy," she answered her own question. I guess it was. "So, who will it be? Each of them is ready and eager to do it."

I looked to Edward for a little help. I was at a loss. I didn't know whom to pick. Well, I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings anyway. "Do you have a preference, Edward?" I asked.

He merely shrugged. "I do. And I think you do too, Bella."

I did? Well, sure I did. I mean, when faced with a choice like this and given the options I had to choose someone to perform such a meaningful service, it was a no brainer. He was already the most knowledgeable and respected person I knew, a source of inspiration and a mentor for so many.

"Carlisle," I stated. He had to be the one. I was curious about Emmett and Jasper, though. I was sure they'd each have their own quirky spin on the ceremony. They probably would have done a fine job, but Carlisle, I was convinced, would officiate the ceremony with the seriousness and respect the occasion demanded.

"Exactly," Edward said, nodding in approval.

"What? Come on!" we heard Emmett complain incredulously from his and Rosalie's room. We laughed along with everyone else in the house. Vampire hearing was a blessing as well as a curse. It was difficult to keep conversations under wraps. I was sure they'd heard Edward proposing a moment ago.

"Sorry, Emmett and Jasper," I apologized into the hallway.

"I would have picked Carlisle too, Bella," Jasper replied. I smiled at his response.

"Fine but can I at least preside when you guys renew your vows in fifty years?" Emmett's disembodied voice asked.

"Sure," I conceded, raising my eyebrows at Edward to check if that was all right and also to express my shock at my own response. Not only had I just consented for Emmett to officiate over our fiftieth anniversary, I was trying to wrap my head around being with Edward for the next fifty years plus. It was dizzying, but in a good way. Edward nodded his approval again. "If you still want to that is," I added for Emmett's benefit.

"Heck, yes!" Emmett agreed. I could picture him pumping his fist in victory.

I could just imagine it. Emmett as the minister, the bride in sweats that were five decades out of fashion, a monstrously large cake for the sole consumption of the werewolf guests…

Alice cringed.

"I'll do the hundredth anniversary then," Jasper's voice chimed in.

"Hey, what if I want to officiate?" Jake asked as he and Tanya entered the room.

"Are you newly ordained as well?" I asked. What, had everyone gone online and become a minister?

"No, but I heard it was shockingly easy to do," Jake responded with a wink for Alice. She smirked her reply. Werewolves had good hearing as well.

"Do we really need to plan today for ceremonies that will take place fifty years and more from now?" I asked. "Perhaps we could revisit this closer to the occasions?" It was getting out of hand already.

"Yes, how about we discuss it later?" Edward asked.

"Sure, sure," Jake replied. "Hey, Bells, my dad says to go over any time today," he informed me. "He's looking forward to it. He's been organizing and reorganizing photo albums. I finally just bought a printer and a ton of photo paper to make copies of all the pictures so you and my dad have the same ones. That's what Tanya was doing all night while I slept."

I looked at Tanya and gave her a warm smile. "Wow, thanks, Tanya! That's so great of you!"

"You're welcome, Bella. It was fun, actually, and I was happy to do it. Not being able to sleep comes in handy sometimes," she said, smiling.

"I guess so," I replied. "I suppose I can go now," I said as I got up to get ready to go. I turned to Edward. "Are you coming?" I made a face immediately though. I wasn't sure of the exact points of the treaty, and I just assumed Edward could go with me, but then I wasn't sure if that wouldn't violate the agreement. "Can you even come with me to La Push?" I looked at Jake to see his response. I mean, Tanya was allowed, but then she was Jake's imprint after all. I wondered if Edward even wanted to go see Billy with me. I wasn't sure if Jake knew himself if Edward were allowed or not without breaking the treaty. The lines of our relationships were blurring.

"I'll take you as far as the treaty line," Edward brokered. "I think this should be something between you and Billy anyway."

Jake nodded, agreeing with Edward. I supposed he was right. "All right," I said as I went to get my backpack. It still contained my journal, though I probably wouldn't need to write down anything Billy would tell me since my vampire memory was picture perfect.

I kissed Edward goodbye once we got to the imaginary line that was the treaty line. Not sure how long I'd be over at Billy's, Edward told me to just take my time and that Alice would see me at the treaty line again so he'd come back and get me even though I told him I could just meet him back at the house. But on further thought, I'd have a few photo albums to lug back with me later, not that they'd be heavy, just bulky.

Over at Billy's, his living room was full of shoeboxes and albums. Half were for me. We spent the rest of the morning and early afternoon going through pictures. Billy gave me most of the originals, especially if Charlie had written anything on the back. He told me stories about my dad before he met my mom and then after. Charlie had it bad for Renee right away, apparently. High school sweethearts and polar opposites, they were both young and in love. Billy told me about Charlie and Renee's wedding, which was a small and simple ceremony. I smiled, knowing that Edward's and mine would be the same. Ours, however, would have different results. No child, but we'd be together for all of eternity.

"Charlie was nervous and scared when they were expecting you, Bella," Billy told me. "He'd ask me things like, 'What if she doesn't like me?' and 'What do I do with a little girl? I don't know anything about little girls. Hell, I still can't figure out the grown ones!'" We both laughed at young Charlie. Turned out, he was pretty good despite his own misgivings.

The mood grew more somber when Billy got into when Renee left with me. "Charlie was heartbroken on different levels. The friendship was gone, the love of his life was gone and, with her, his baby girl. It took quite a while for him to bounce back from that. I think the worst thing was that he would have gone with her, and happily, it was just that he couldn't leave his parents when they were dying."

But he had managed. Charlie was so strong. I honestly didn't know how he did it. He was amazing.

We talked about my trips to Forks in the summer. "It was the highlight of his whole year, Bella. He'd brag about how his little girl was coming to visit. People actually got sick of hearing him talk about you, but then when you did get here, he'd parade you around, all proud. You got him free cobbler at the diner too, if I recall correctly. The waitresses couldn't resist your big brown eyes," Billy laughed. I laughed as well. I didn't remember swindling pie at such a young age.

"Yeah, but when I got older, I didn't really enjoy coming here," I admitted remorsefully as I rifled through some more loose photos. "I hated fishing, and I was a real pain in the butt for Charlie." I still felt guilty about it.

"Yeah, you were," Billy agreed. I snapped my head up in surprise to look at him. His eyes were twinkling and he was smirking. "But all adolescents are, kid. Charlie never took it personally, all right? So don't beat yourself up. He knew you loved him."

That warmed my heart considerably to hear Billy tell me that. "Thanks, Billy."

"You're welcome, Bells, but it's the truth. He loved you far too much to take it personally. He was thrilled you came up to visit at all. And he really didn't mind meeting you in California when you were, what, thirteen, fourteen, and fifteen. And man, when you decided to come live here? Shit, he was over the moon!" Billy laughed as my mouth fell open upon hearing him swear. "He was, Bells! See, he tried to look all calm and cool on the outside, but on the inside, he was giddy. He had his little girl back."

We both smiled at each other. Charlie giddy? I decided to just take Billy's word for it.

We talked about how worried my dad was about me after my accident in Phoenix and after Edward left. "Honestly, Bella, I was tempted to tell him about the Cullens so he could try to keep you away from them, but he was always defending Carlisle and liked the family, what little he knew about them anyway. But after Jake found you in the woods…" Billy drifted off, shaking his head. "Charlie never wanted to hear the name Cullen mentioned again."

"And then he didn't know how to help you with all your nightmares and your…" Billy was assessing my reaction and choosing his words carefully. "Your depression."

I closed my eyes for only a moment, not because it hurt to think about that dark time in my life, though it did, but it hurt more to know how badly Charlie wanted to help me but couldn't.

"It hurt Charlie to have to send you to Jacksonville, but he honestly didn't know what else to do."

I nodded, agreeing. Had I been in Charlie's place, I probably would have been at my wit's end as well.

"But then what happened to Renee and Phil…Charlie wanted to, needed to keep you close. He was really frightened of what their deaths would do to you."

"Did you suspect any foul play?" I asked.

"Maybe fleetingly, but I had no substantial reason. I didn't think the Cullens would do anything, but I was never okay with your association with them." It was true. It was through my association with the Cullens that I met James, Victoria, and Laurent. But it wasn't the Cullens' fault. They'd tried to protect me.

I sat quietly biting my lip. "Billy, do you hate the Cullens?"

He took a moment before answering. "I never liked them, but…Jake's told me about how they are with you, despite their leaving…" he trailed off, not knowing quite how to finish.

"Billy, it was all a misunderstanding," I defended them. "Edward did it because he wanted to keep me safe."

Billy nodded. "I know now. They've kept up their end of the bargain, and, in their own warped way, were doing what was best for you. That's something Charlie had always strived to do so now…let's just say I don't mind them as much."

I smiled my thanks.

"So, um, how does it feel to have a vampire for a daughter-in-law then," I asked Billy tentatively. He raised an eyebrow at me as if to ask if I knew something he didn't. I didn't know if Jake and Tanya were getting married. It was probable. I'd have to ask Jake about it. "Well, for all intents and purposes, Tanya's your daughter-in-law," I shrugged with a slightly sheepish grin on my face.

Billy sighed. "I suppose you're right. It's a little strange, I'll admit. But pretty much I'm already kind of used to having a vampire as my daughter," he answered, poking my shoulder slightly.

"You consider me your daughter?" I asked with surprise.

"Of course. Well, maybe more like a niece?" Billy laughed at his little joke before continuing. "Bella, your father and I were the best of friends. We considered each other's children as our own. We promised to take care of them as our own if anything were to happen to either of us."

I stared at Billy in astonishment, disbelieving he'd consider me, a filthy bloodsucker, an enemy to the tribe, his own daughter. And I thought the Cullens' acceptance of Billy and Jake was exceptional. Billy gazed back unblinkingly.

"Billy, I really want to hug you right now," I warned him. "May I?"

Billy laughed and opened up his arms for me. "I'm sorry if I stink," apologized as I hugged him. He laughed again.

When I finally let go and sat back down, an idea hit me. I asked Billy permission to ask something else, to which he assented.

"Edward and I are getting married tomorrow, Billy," I told him.

"I know, Bella, but that's not a question, honey."

"I know," I smiled sheepishly. "So, um, you can say no, but would you," I took a deep breath before finishing. "Would you give me away?" I asked quickly. "You know, since Charlie isn't here."

Billy merely stared at me, astonishment evident in his expression, thinking over my request. He bit his lip, and I thought he was going to tell me no, however, he nodded his answer, unable to find his voice. He was fighting off some strong emotions himself it seemed.

I grinned at him. "Thanks, Billy," I said, placing my hand on his. He turned his hand palm up to squeeze mine.

"You're welcome. I'm…I'm really honored you asked. I'm honored to represent for Charlie."

"I'm honored too, Billy." I smiled.

We continued looking at pictures for another hour. Billy told me a few more stories about Charlie. One of which involved one of the few times my father had gotten so drunk, he tried to recruit their friends to go streaking. Luckily, Charlie never actually did any streaking, but I'd laughed harder than I had in a while just imagining my dad uttering the words, "Let's go streaking!" Who was he, Will Farrell?

Finally I got around to asking Billy how he felt about Irina and Jake's imprinting on Tanya and pretty much being able to live forever now.

"I don't think anyone else is worried about Tanya's sister," I complained. "I don't trust her to leave Jake and Tanya alone." Or even me, I added silently in my head, but I didn't want to talk about her vendetta against me. I was sure I could handle her, but I just didn't like the idea of Irina even existing at all to potentially cause trouble.

"Jake will be fine, Bella. Tanya's sister is crazy..."

"Thank you," I interjected. Finally, someone else acknowledged that Irina was a crazy bitch. Well, Billy didn't say it in as many words but still. Billy smiled at my outburst.

"But I don't think she has much power really. Jake can take care of himself and the pack can protect the tribe if she came here. I even think Tanya would stop her own sister if push came to shove, though she probably won't admit it."

I nodded. I hoped Billy was right. "What do you think of Jake's immortality now?" I asked.

"You know, Bella, I felt really sorry that you were leaving Forks originally. I knew how hard that had to be for you after having experienced all that you'd lost. I admired you for the sacrifice you were making, leaving your home here. I know we were never that close, but I could tell that Renee and Charlie, they raised you right, thinking of others like that. And Jake felt sick to his stomach over what happened to you, not being able to stop the lady vampire from biting you and then forcing you to leave."

I opened my mouth to interject, but Billy continued. "I know. I know. He didn't force you to go, but Jake felt like he did. Like he gave you no choice and then not accompanying you part of the way? Jake felt really bad about that. He really worried about you. We both did. I felt like I abandoned you too, after the promise Charlie and I made."

"Billy, you and Jake had done so much for me after…" I sighed. "After Charlie. I owed it to you guys to leave."

"I know you wanted Jake and the other guys to be normal, even if that meant you'd be alone doing…whatever it is that vampires do. Anyway, now that he's found Tanya, they're going to leave as well so the other guys can live normally. Jake understands how you felt."

"Jake's leaving?" I asked, surprised. "He hadn't told me that yet." But it made sense. If he and Tanya stayed, the other guys wouldn't age either. He was sacrificing for his tribe now, giving them the life they wanted and deserved.

"Embry and the others will be able to get married, have families, and age normally." I nodded. They'd be living a normal life.

"Jake will be the only one left then," I commented.

"If other vampires come into the area, the gene would kick in again."

"Would Jake still be their alpha?" I asked, not knowing how all the werewolf stuff worked.

Billy shrugged. "If he wanted to take his place as alpha to a new generation of wolves, then yes. Otherwise there'd be a new alpha, but my point is, Bella, I'm happy that Jake has found a mate, regardless of what she is, but I'm relieved that, through you, he'll still have a part of home. So even though I am sorry about everything that's happened to you, after his sisters and I are done with our time here on Earth, he'll still have you. So, ultimately, I'm grateful." Billy looked at me inquisitively. "Is that twisted?"

I let out a low chuckle. "No, Billy. Well, actually, yes, it is twisted, but it's what I've been wrestling with since I found the Cullens again, especially Edward."

I'd lost my parents and my humanity only to gain immortality and the love of my existence. It was what I'd always wanted, well, I never wanted to lose my parents, but being with Edward was what I'd always wanted. The road to my ultimate happiness was bittersweet.

It was like a scale; great sorrow balanced by great joy. Without the former I would never have truly appreciated the latter.

I didn't share my more philosophical thoughts, choosing instead to express my more optimistic thoughts. "But I'm happy, too, that I'll have a piece of home, through Jake." That thought made me smile. I'd get to still be around Jake. I got to take my friend into forever with me.

I left Billy's house shortly after that with a warm feeling inside. Who knew Billy and I would bond so much?

Edward met me at the treaty line, as promised.

"How'd it go?" Edward asked after I kissed him hello. "Did you get what you needed?"

I smiled. "Actually, I accomplished much more than I had intended. I got the stories and memories of Charlie that I had been seeking, but I gained a better understanding of Billy, and renewed appreciation of Jake, not that I didn't appreciate him before," I added.

"Wow, I'd say you had a very productive day then," Edward commented, giving my hand a squeeze.

"I did," I nodded. I told Edward a couple of the stories about Charlie, and let him in on Billy's feelings about the Cullens, Tanya, and Jake's new life and also about Billy's part in our wedding the next day.

"That's really great of Billy to do, and it's very generous of him to be so accepting of all of us," Edward remarked. "I'm really surprised." I was too, especially after his warning to me last year. I also recalled how he had sent Jake to crash our prom to inform me about how they'd be watching me. That was more than a little eerie and creepy, though I knew now that Billy was just trying to protect me.

"He's realized that you guys, I mean, _we_ aren't as big a threat as he had once thought. He told me he considers me his daughter too," I added, feeling the same warmth and emotion I felt when Billy had said that to me earlier. Edward nodded, looking impressed and genuinely pleased for me. I loved that my happiness was also his happiness. I took Edward's right hand and kissed the back of it.

"So what about you? What have I missed today?" I asked, softly playing with his fingers.

Edward shook his head. "Nothing much. Only more packing and wedding arrangements."

"What do I need to do for tomorrow?" I asked, wondering why Alice hadn't already given me a list of instructions yet.

Edward merely flashed my favorite crooked smile at me. "Just show up." I smiled in return. I could handle that. I did have to inform Alice that Billy was going to give me away in Charlie's place, so that's what I did when we got to the house. Alice had met us outside and instructed us to go straight up to Edward's room, where, I was told, he'd have to keep me captive until the ceremony the next day.

I smiled again. _That_, I could most definitely handle.

**A/N Thanks for sticking with me, kids. Some readers were disappointed in the Jake/Tanya imprint and may have quit reading ATO after the last couple of chapters. I hope you gave ATO another chance, "used to love this story". If not, I suppose it's her loss right? Until next time, shoot me a review guys. **


	25. My Girl

**A/N I don't own these characters. I'm merely borrowing them from the fabulous Stephenie Meyer.**

**First of all, I want to thank you all for reading and for your support and interest in this story. You're the best. I hope you still like the story by the end of this chapter. Secondly, I wanted to thank Miss Lunatik for wanting to take on the task and adventure of translating ATO in French. Very cool! Now that's two of my stories being translated. I'm pretty proud about it, and don't think I'm bragging when I say that the French readers kinda dig me. And thirdly, thanks to Phantom for being the badass beta that she is.**

**Here you go. The title is from the song by the Temptations-you all know it, right? GREAR.**

**Chapter 25: My Girl**

**EPoV**

"A bed?" Bella asked as we entered my room after her visit with Billy Black. Alice insisted that we get one even though we'd be moving with the rest of the family, and I couldn't find it in me to disagree with her. Bella and I would stay behind in Forks for another couple of days, however long it took for Bella to be ready to leave this town for good. I was sure she'd want to see Charlie's house one more time, and I wanted to visit the meadow with her once again.

And as for the bed, we'd be newlyweds after all. Newlyweds with the entire house to ourselves since everyone had planned on leaving pretty much right after the ceremony.

"Well, this _is_ a bedroom," I pointed out to her, watching Bella softly touch the wrought iron frame once she set down the photo albums she had been carrying.

"True," Bella agreed. She sat on the bed and smiled at me. "It's nice," she said as she bounced on the mattress a moment. I sat with her and bounced as well.

"I thought so too. It arrived right after I got back from taking you to the treaty line. Alice had ordered it."

Bella shook her head letting out a small chuckle. "Alice thinks of everything doesn't she?"

"Yes, I do," Alice chirped from downstairs.

"Alice, are you sure I can't help with anything?" Bella asked into the hallway.

"Everything's covered. Just stay out of the lower level here. I want it to be a surprise for you," Alice replied.

Bella and I just looked at each other and shrugged.

"Hey, we can still leave the house, right?" Bella asked. I quirked an eyebrow up at her. "Well, I know we have to stay out of the living room or whatever, but we can exit through your window."

"Yes, but where is it you want to go?" I asked. We had just hunted so she couldn't have been thirsty yet.

"All the reminiscing with Billy made me want to go to First Beach. Charlie used to take me when I came to visit him when I was younger. I want to see the tidal pools and walk along the shore."

Bella looked excited to go there and revisit part of her childhood. I hated to tell her no to anything but especially this request, but I wasn't allowed in La Push. There was no treaty stopping her from going, however. I wanted to be there with her though.

"Bella," I said, my voice heavy with regret.

"Oh, yeah," she sighed. "Stupid treaty," she muttered.

"I'm sorry, love, but you can still…"

"I want you to go with," she all but pouted. It was so sweet of my Bella to want to share the experience with me. She thought for a moment before calling for Jacob. Bella smiled at me. "What good is having the alpha as my best friend if I can't ask for a favor?"

Tanya and Jacob were back in my room a second later.

"Hey, Bells," Jacob greeted her as he came in. Tanya said hello to us as well. "How'd it go with my dad?"

"Great," Bella answered. "We had a lot of fun. He's agreed to give me away tomorrow," she told him, delight coloring her voice.

"Yeah, I heard. That's cool. Are you going to push him as you walk next to him?" Jacob asked, "I was trying to picture how it's gonna go down."

"Hmm, good point," Bella said. She thought a moment. "I hadn't put any thought into the logistics, but, um, maybe you could push Billy and I walk next to both of you?" she asked hesitantly, biting he lip awaiting Jacob's response.

Jacob merely narrowed his gaze slightly as he thought over the request. "So you want us both to give you away?" _Wow, this is huge. I feel kind of honored_, Jacob thought. Of course he should feel honored.

Bella nodded. "Well, you're both my family. I mean, if you don't want to, I understand. I could push Billy with one hand…"

"Bella," Jacob interrupted her, laughing. "Don't be ridiculous. Of course I'll do it."

Bella's face lit up as she smiled her thanks to Jacob.

"Thanks, Jacob," I told him. He nodded back at me.

Alice was up in my room in an instant. "That's a great idea, Bella. Um, do you have any other last minute details to change?" she joked.

Bella shrugged. "Sorry for the auidbles, but I think that's it," she answered Alice.

Jacob and I both looked at Bella, stunned and a little impressed. "_Audibles_?" Jacob asked the same time I did. Since when did Bella use football terminology?

"I remember Charlie telling me that's what they call it when the quarterback changes the play at the last second at the line of scrimmage," she explained. "I don't know how it just bubbled out. I guess I'm feeling a really strong connection to Charlie today."

Jacob acknowledged her response by nodding once again. "Next thing you know, Bells'll want to go fishing," he joked, looking at me. "And drink beer," he added, chuckling.

Bella merely rolled her eyes ad blew out what was supposed to be an exasperated breath but then a small smile broke out upon her lips.

"That reminds me, Jake," Bella said. "I really want to go to First Beach with Edward, for old times sake. Can you relax the treaty for a couple hours?" Bella tilted her head slightly, looking at Jacob with the same big eyes she'd used on Carlisle back on the island. "I'll be your best friend," she offered, jokingly.

Tanya giggled while Jacob rolled _his_ eyes at Bella. She was a dangerous creature; that was for sure.

_Give me a break with that sad look_, he thought. I snickered. I knew just how he felt. Of course he was going to give Bella her way.

"Fine," he said grudgingly, feigning agitation. "Let me give the guys a heads up so they don't shred you when you're down there," he said grinning.

"Like they could catch me," Bella said quietly even though we all could hear. "But thanks, Jake," Bella said happily.

"Sure. Sure." Jacob then called Embry to have him alert the others of Bella's and my presence in La Push soon.

While Jacob was on the phone, Alice and Tanya took Bella to Alice's room to show her the dress while I looked through some of the pictures Bella brought back. I heard Alice warn Tanya not to allow me to see the dress in her mind. I had to laugh at that.

Jacob was off the phone before the girls got back to my room.

"It's all good," he told me. "Have fun."

"Thank you very much, Jacob," I said to him. "I'm genuinely grateful for your generosity and all that you and your father have done for Bella."

"It's all right," he replied. "She's had so much loss to deal with. We just want her to be happy."

"So do I," I said. "And I'm happy for you and Tanya, by the way."

Jacob couldn't suppress a toothy grin that appeared automatically at the mention of Tanya's name.

"She's pretty great, but I still can't believe I imprinted on a bloodsucker," he mused, shaking his head slightly.

"Hey!" we heard Tanya snap from Alice's room the same time we heard Bella and Alice giggling.

Jacob grimaced, "Sorry." I laughed at him. He was whipped. I couldn't make fun of him though. I was whipped too. Jacob got my attention, though, when he tapped his head, apparently indicating for me to hear his mind on purpose.

_I want to get her a ring. You think Bella or Alice could help me pick something out? She'll be going back to Denali after the ceremony and I was going there in a day or so, after I take care of some things for my dad._

I nodded, confident that even if Bella wasn't sure what to pick out, Alice would have an opinion on the matter for sure. But Alice wouldn't have been able to see the future with Jacob in it so I told him to just text her about it. They could work something out.

Once Bella was finished in Alice's room, we left for La Push through my window; she rode on my back and I ran to the First Beach.

We walked along the narrow rocky beach line. Bella told me more stories that Billy had shared with her about Charlie when he was younger and throughout the years. I was in awe of Charlie and Billy's friendship. Their pledge to each other to care for the other's children as his own was nothing less than amazing. That kind of loyalty and brotherhood was indeed rare. That kind of generosity and protection could only be compared to Carlisle's.

It was dark out, but we could see quite well. Bella had a faraway look in her eyes when we happened upon the first of many tidal pools. We laughed at how she'd fallen in on more than one occasion when she was young. Charlie was always there to pull her out, of course.

Bella reminded me that it was here over a year before that she learned the Quileute legend and the story of the cold ones.

The same story she got Jacob to spill by flirting with him.

Had Jacob not imprinted on Tanya and not been incredibly happy and content, I would have been annoyed. Annoyed, aggravated and more than a little jealous.

It was odd, the first time I'd heard the story I'd felt sorry for Jacob, knowing what it was like to be on the receiving end of Bella's devastating charm. Now though, now I felt like…I felt edgy. Uncomfortable. Terrified that someone might take away my Bella.

I'd thought that I'd put the pain, the utter heartbreak of Bella's rejection, her seeming indifference, aside.

Apparently not.

Still, after forcing those disquieting thoughts aside, I was curious about how she had flirted with him to obtain information. She hadn't Tanya's aplomb when it came to such situations. She was a little innocent and Tanya –and Kate and Irina for that matter- were well versed in the arts of flirtation. Too well versed for my tastes, but to each his own.

Anyway, after she'd flirted with the dog-Jacob (I really needed to get a lid on my jealousy) she'd figured out what I was. I was still shocked that she hadn't cared that I was a demon, a monster. She was too good. Always.

With the subject of Jacob brought up, Bella told me what Tanya had told her while they were in Alice's room, how Jake planned on moving to Alaska with Tanya. He was worried about Billy though, trying to convince his father to move in with one of his sisters. Jake hated to leave Billy behind, but he had to in order for the others in his pack to live normally. Billy was stubborn, however. He wanted to stay on the Reservation. If Billy moved in with one of his daughters, Jacob and Tanya could still visit him face to face. Billy was still thinking it all over, apparently.

I told Bella about how Jacob wanted to get Tanya a ring and to be ready to help him pick something out for her.

I laughed when Bella balked at that, claiming to know nothing about jewelry with which to help her friend out. "Alice, however, would be perfect for the mission," Bella pointed out. I told her I agreed and that that was what I had told Jacob.

We got to talking about our future, after we left Forks. We wanted to live with the family for a bit but the idea of being just by ourselves for a decade or two was more than just a little enticing.

"Europe would be great but I also want to go back to the island," Bella said wistfully. I agreed, thinking about our time together on the island and in jungle.

We were pondering potential honeymoon locales when we heard and then saw Jacob's friends Quil and Embry running towards us on the beach. They were in their wolf forms so I could hear them.

Their minds were rushed with a jumble of thoughts that I tried to keep up with as they approached.

_Are you going to tell her?_ Embry asked.

_Hell, no, Jake said he would_, Quil rebutted. _He's on his way._

_I think she'd want to know right away is all I'm saying,_ Embry replied.

_Just wait for Jake_. _She'll learn soon enough, _Quil ordered. _You think it's really him though?_

_Jake's the one who got a good look. I only saw him for a second. It sure did look like him if he were a…_

_Shut up, Embry_, Quil all but shouted at him. _Cullen can hear you!_

Bella looked at me apprehensively at first, but she ultimately knew that the two large wolves weren't going to hurt us. They were, however, going to transform back to their human selves. I told them to hold on for just a second while Bella and I turned around so they could phase back. We faced them again once they out their shorts on. Thank goodness they carry extra clothes with them, well, bottoms anyway. It was a little annoying that these hardly wore shirts.

"Hey, guys," Bella greeted them. "Jake told you we'd be here, right? You're not here to shred us are you?" Bella was the only one who laughed. I was searching their minds.

"Hey, yeah," Embry responded, looking nervously at Quil. "You guys doing okay?"

"Yes." "Why?" were our answers.

Something was up, but I couldn't figure it out yet. The boys were giving nothing away. They must have been under orders from Jacob.

"Um, there's just some new blood—I mean vamps in town," Quil informed us. "Jake's on his way here right now."

"Do you know who they are?" Bella asked in panic.

The boys glanced at each other before telling us to just wait for Jacob.

"Why?" Bella asked again. "Is it bad? Is it Irina?"

Neither would answer, but luckily Jacob was approaching us.

I searched his mind for answers or even clues. "Hold on, Bella," I told her. What I heard from Jacob nearly knocked the wind out of me. I ran to meet Jacob, leaving Bella with Embry and Quil for a moment.

"Edward, what…" was the last thing I heard from her before I told her again to wait a moment.

"Jacob, are you sure?" I asked him. "You must be absolutely positive before you utter a word of this to Bella," I warned him through clenched teeth.

He met my gaze and showed me what he had seen: two male vampires. One seemed to be fleeing from the other. I saw a glimpse of them both. The one that was doing the chasing I had never seen nor met before. He was younger than the fleeing vampire.

"Impossible," I whispered, incredulous. "It can't be…can it?"

"It's what I saw," Jacob told me gravely. "They ran off our turf."

I wondered who the young vampire was. "Where are they heading?" I asked.

"Towards Forks. Maybe your house. I'm sure they can smell you guys."

"What's going on?" Bella asked, panicked. She was right next to me now. "Who's headed towards Edward's house?"

"Bella, we're not positive, and I don't want to jump to conclusions," I said as soothingly as I could. "Let's just all get back to the house."

"Quil and Embry, you guys keep watch around here," Jacob told them. "Keep an eye on my dad too, yeah?"

They both nodded.

"Is Billy in danger?" Bella asked. "Please, tell me something!" she pleaded.

I sighed. "There are two male vampires here. One seems to be trying to lose the other." I had to stop since Alice was calling me.

"Alice, is it…" I asked.

"Edward," Alice responded, awestruck. "I can't believe it, but it is. The younger one is trying to kill…"

"Alice, what else do you see?" I demanded.

"Bella. She's going to protect him. She saves him, Edward, but it's a difficult fight. More are coming. Come home. Quickly." I told her we would hurry just as Alice hung up.

"Edward, please!" Bella begged.

"Bella, I'll answer as many of your questions as I can, but we don't know much. Let's just head back. Right now, Charlie is in danger, and so are the rest of us," I told her.

Bella's jaw dropped; she was stunned. "What? Did you say…?"

Jacob nodded, backing up what I had just said.

Bella wasn't moving. Who could blame her? The news was shocking to say the least. Jacob placed her on my back, and we took off running to my house.

"Is Charlie a…is he one of us?" Bella asked.

I nodded.

"But how? I saw the car go up in flames when Laurent took me."

"I don't know, but hopefully we'll find out soon."

"Who's after him?" she asked.

"I don't know that either, love. All we know is that Charlie's trying to get away from another vampire and that there may be more vampires coming to help…kill him…or us…or you? Alice isn't sure yet."

"But it _is_ Charlie?"

"Yes, that much we know."

Alice met us outside the house when we arrived. Bella immediately found her legs again and jumped down from my back.

"Alice," Bella said breathlessly, though she wasn't actually lacking oxygen. "My dad?"

"Yes, he's inside Bella. He just learned about you, that you didn't die in the fire either."

"But how?" Bella asked.

"Come in. He'll explain," Alice told her.

"What about the others. Who's he running from?"

I felt for Bella. I had just as many questions. This was all very confusing, but I was happy for Bella in that her father was still alive…well, he wasn't dead in any case.

As soon as we opened the door, we saw Charlie sitting on the sofa in the living room with the entire family there amidst the flower arrangements that seemed tremendously large and intrusive at the moment. Everyone turned to look at us, and as soon as Charlie's golden eyes caught Bella's, he got up and moved toward us taking Bella in his arms in one swift, fluid movement.

"Dad?" Bella choked out as she squeezed Charlie tightly. "It's you!"

"God, Bella," Charlie managed to say while barely keeping his emotions in check. "Baby, I thought you were…"

"I know," Bella cried. She would have sobbed actual tears if she could have. "I thought you were too. But how?"

I looked at everyone around the room. They all seemed as if they were fighting back emotion as well. We were overjoyed for both Charlie and Bella. Whatever separated them and however it happened, they had found each other again. It was a miracle. This was how I felt when I'd learned that Bella wasn't dead and that she was immortal like me. Confusion. Relief. Happiness. Love.

We all felt like we were intruding on them, and yet we couldn't look away. It was a moving sight to behold. Esme looked like her heart was just bursting. Rosalie was biting her bottom lip while Alice was ever so slightly bouncing up and down, her hands clasped. How lucky for her to know the future.

How lucky I was to be able to hear her mind. When we were to get married, hopefully it was still going to go as planned the next day, Bella would have Charlie and Billy both giving her away.

**A/N I know. I know. "Charlie? Whatchu talkin' 'bout, MJ?" Stay tuned and hang tight. You can go back and reread the first chapter if you feel like it. Lovee, thanks for the idea of having Jake push Billy's wheelchair. u2shay, you're a prognosticator. Well done, even though you were expressing a hope/wish. The 'stache lives on!**


	26. Closer to Fine

**A/N These characters all belong to Stephenie Meyer, of course. Thanks for reading my version of things, though.**

**Yeah, I know it's been a little while, so I'll just get to it. Big ups to by beta, Phantom, for doing what she does so well. Frequently dazzled, I hope your honeymoon was great. Welcome back. And thanks to Simaril for the review-a-thon. I'm glad you're all caught up. **

**Okay, kids, here we go. This chapter is brought to you by the Indigo Girls. Ready? GREAR.**

**Chapter 26: Closer to Fine**

**BPoV**

Charlie! I squeezed my father even tighter for fear that he'd disappear or evaporate. "I can't believe you're here," I whispered.

"Me neither, Bells," Charlie replied, his voice just as hushed as mine.

I was lost in the moment, just holding onto my dad, until a heard a small crack and felt Charlie flinch ever so slightly. I was squeezing him too hard, I realized.

"Oh, god, I'm sorry, Dad," I apologized. I guess I was much stronger than I had thought. I broke the hug to keep from breaking my dad.

"You've got quite the grip, kiddo," he joked. Charlie let out a low chuckle, lightening the mood in the room.

"Are you all right?" I asked him, then gasped and did a double take when I noticed his eyes. They were just like mine. He must have been on a non-human diet like the rest of us. I wondered how he'd done it. Who, if anyone, had taught him?

He stepped up and hugged me to his chest, his grip far gentler than mine. "I'm more than all right, baby. You're here…" Charlie was silent when he took in my expression. "What? What is it?"

I timidly reached up and smoothed the skin around the corners of his eyes. "Your eyes, Dad," I whispered in awe.

"Huh? Oh." He shrugged. "They're not red like Riley's or the others. I never did fit in with those savages anyway," Charlie answered casually, impossibly blasé about something so wondrous.

"Who?" I asked, completely at sea. "Who's Riley? What others?" Then I remembered Edward saying that others were coming to kill…my dad or me or all of us. "Dad, who's after you?" My new, musical, all-the-better-to-lure-you-with-my-dear voice was tilting towards the shrilly hysterical. Not quite there yet, vampire vocal chords seemed to have a problem with shrill, but it was getting there.

I couldn't help it. My mind was reeling. There was so much I wanted to know. So much to talk about.

Oh, and the small fact that some murderous vampires were after my dad might have had something to do with it.

Jasper must have sent a wave of calm my way, which I wasn't sure if I was pleased about or not at that moment. I wanted to be alert and on my toes. My panic, for some reason, made me feel more ready to take on whatever was to come, even though I had less than no idea of what was to come.

In any case, I didn't want to be calm. Not really. Calm meant relaxed, and to be relaxed was to not be ready.

"Jasper," I scowled at him, unable to hide my irritation and also trying to fight the calm at the same time.

"Relax, Bella, no one's coming right this instant. Riley dropped back," Edward said.

I looked at him questioningly, as did Charlie.

"How do you know that?" my dad and I asked Edward simultaneously. Had the circumstances been less intense, I probably would have told my father jinx and that he owed me a deer.

Edward smiled slightly, trying to keep from full out laughing. I guess Charlie and I looking and sounding so similar was humorous to him. Joy. I'm glad one of us was getting some amusement out of the situation.

"From Charlie and Alice," Edward explained. I, of course, understood, but Charlie was still confused.

"But I didn't say anything to you," Charlie stated, giving Edward an expression that was equal parts annoyed and awed. I knew that expression well. I wore it a lot myself when dealing with Edward and Alice for that matter.

"Edward can hear your thoughts, and Alice can see the future," I explained to my father. His response was to stare blankly back at me.

As we allowed that small bit of information to sink in, we all moved back into the living room. I sat with Charlie and Edward on either side of me.

"What's that wet dog smell?" Charlie asked. His face twisted in what could only be described as disgust. "It's been getting stronger and stronger the longer I've been back in Forks."

I stifled a laugh, biting my lip, as I glanced at Jake. The rest of the family was snickering quietly as Jake rolled his eyes and raised his hand as if he were in a classroom.

"That'd be me, Charlie."

"Jacob, are you a vampire too?" Charlie asked sternly. I swear he looked just like an old uncle who's caught one of his nephews out in a lie.

"Hell, no!" Jake answered quickly and disgustedly. He then looked all around the room, remembering that he was surrounded by us bloodsuckers, before adding, "Not that there's anything wrong with that." Charlie continued to watch Jake, analyzing him. "I'm a werewolf," he admitted, but then added, "Or a shapeshifter, according to these guys." Jake pointed his thumb and gestured toward Edward and the rest of the Cullens.

Charlie opened his mouth and then shut it without saying anything but heaving a small sigh.

"I know, Dad. It's…quite a bit to take in," I told him. "We have a lot to discuss." That was an understatement.

"I don't even know where to begin," Charlie admitted, shaking his head but squeezing my hand. "What happened to you, Bells?"

I was way more interested in what happened to my father than telling my story, and I told him as much, but I supposed that he was just as interested in me as I was in him. I tried to be as succinct as I could, though, so we could quickly get to his story.

"This vampire, Laurent, grabbed me after I got out of the car during the train derailment. He took me to a clearing in the woods where Victoria, another vampire, bit me and turned me right before Jake and his pack destroyed them both. Then I left Forks to go to Brazil to find Alice and everybody else," I concluded, leaving out major chunks that could be filled in later if he really wanted more information.

Charlie looked from me to Jake, who nodded, corroborating my account of events.

"Did your transformation take three days?" Charlie asked. We were all visibly taken aback. How did Charlie know how long a transformation took? Unless someone told him all about it.

Jake and I both nodded.

"Who helped you in your first days as a newborn? Jake?" Charlie asked incredulously.

"Yes," I answered, my voice barely above a whisper.

"How'd you keep from killing Jake?" my father asked.

I was stunned at Charlie's questions. He was asking me the same things the Cullens had asked. They knew what it was like to be a newborn and naturally wondered how I'd managed, knowing how difficult it must have been. Charlie was acting like a decades old vampire questioning me the way he was, not like a newborn like myself, which he clearly was.

"I…well, he…stinks," I replied. I ignored Jake's eye roll as well as the snickers coming from Emmett and Tanya. "Dad, why do you know so much about newborns? Who taught you? You're vegetarian, but how? Who turned you? Who stayed with you? How…" I couldn't hold back my questions anymore. He interrupted me though.

"Bella, I had an idea about vampires before I became one." Charlie looked around the room at everyone before settling his gaze back on me. "And I guess you did too."

He had known? He had known about the Cullens? I was flabbergasted. "You knew?" I asked, unable to hide my astonishment.

"You don't live in these parts and work in law enforcement without hearing all kinds of tales, legends, and superstitions. I'd only heard these…stories—Harry Clearwater talks a lot when he's had a few beers in him, plus Billy, well, you know about that—but I never thought anything of them until after I realized I'd become a vampire. And once Riley told us we'd be searching out the vegetarian vampires and their little pet here in Forks, I put two and two together. I didn't know who the pet was though. I'd convinced myself you were dead. I was told you were dead, actually."

"Who told you that?" I asked.

"Victoria."

"Okay, then who's Riley?" I demanded.

"He's who Victoria had watch over me after she turned me."

"Victoria turned you too?" Again my mind was reeling. I thought hard, back to that night. Someone had grabbed me. Laurent. I turned to look up at him. I may have gasped in horror when I registered who he was. I turned to look back at Charlie, who I thought was still in the cruiser. Then the car was pushed into the flames. Laurent must have done that. Could Victoria have taken my dad in the time it took me to look up at Laurent and then back at the car? She was fast, and my human reactions were so slow. It was possible. Hell, the fact that Charlie was sitting here with me now was proof that it must have happened like that.

I puzzled it out in my head. Laurent took me to the clearing, miles away. Victoria came a little while after. She could have bitten Charlie and then delivered him to this Riley person before coming to the clearing.

"I remember being snatched out of the cruiser by this red-head. I tried to look for you, Bella, but she had such a grip on me. She ran…really fast…I heard her say, 'Change of plans. The Cullens killed your daughter. You can help destroy them.' I didn't know what she was talking about. I didn't even know her name until after the transformation. Riley was there when I awoke, apparently three days later. The only reason I know the three days is because I'd witnessed the others' transformations." Charlie paused, seeming to have realized something. "Bella, were you in a lot of pain?" My father sounded so concerned. "The others writhed and screamed the whole time. I couldn't bear to hear it or see it. I can only assume that it was the same for you."

Of course it was. I mean, I was sure that I had been in a lot of pain. And I was sure that my father had been in a lot of pain as well. I didn't like to think about that though. The idea of someone whom I loved suffering tremendously like we both had…it was crippling. But we'd gotten through it. All of us in this room had. Mercifully, we weren't coherent for most of our personal transformations, and the fact that we were all together, had an eternity together, made the pain, however bad it had been, absolutely worth it.

"I…don't remember my transformation. Jake said I was in pain, but I don't remember." I patted Charlie's leg and gave him a faint smile to reassure him I was fine, especially now. "Who were the others? And where were you, Dad?"

"Canada. Yukon Territory. It was just Riley and me at first. He explained to me what I was and who it was that turned me. He was under the impression that Victoria was coming back. He seemed to be in love with her too, I think. They were going to start an army."

"An army?" I questioned. "Of vampires? Why? How?"

"Not just an army of vampires, Bella," Jasper interjected. All of our attention turned to him. "An army of newborns. I've seen this before, unfortunately. I've been in the thick of all out battles between vampires."

"The Volturi are going to have to step in again, aren't they?" Tanya asked. She must have known about whatever Jasper was talking about. She knew his history.

"I don't see them making a decision," Alice offered. "There haven't been that many newborns created. Well, they seem to be destroying each other."

Charlie nodded. "They're savages. They're murdering people right and left. There's all kinds of infighting over the kills too. Riley has even taken it upon himself to kill some of them after I had to destroy a few myself. We didn't want them drawing attention to us. There's a little over a dozen or so left, unless they're creating more now, which is entirely possible. The newborns are making newborns."

_Over a dozen? Only? _ That seemed like quite a few to me, and here was Charlie acting as if it were nothing. Well, perhaps a dozen or so was nothing if there had originally been…I didn't really want to know the outrageous number they'd probably had originally. Someone had to teach these vampires about family planning. I thought distractedly even as I questioned my father. "You destroyed some newborns?" I asked my dad.

"I felt I had to. Population control. They were murdering innocent people, and for what? To feed? They were fighting off other newborns right after they started feeding off a human, not finishing the job but leaving enough venom in them to turn them." Charlie was shaking his head in disgust. "All I could think about was them killing you, Bella, or someone else's daughter or sister or mother. I couldn't stand it."

_Just like me_, I thought. I hated the idea of killing someone's beloved in order for me to feed. It wasn't right.

"And you drink from animals," I said. It wasn't a question. Obviously Charlie wasn't drinking human blood. His eyes weren't red. We matched, actually. Our eyes weren't completely golden, but they weren't crimson either.

"I resisted the blood Riley tried to give me. He actually tried to make me drink from a person." My dad shook his head once again and made a face. Yes, he was repulsed by the idea, just as I was. "There was no way. He got mad at me, told me I'd waste away if I didn't drink something. I almost wanted to waste away. I didn't want to be here anymore, and I got really weak. But Riley had mentioned how I'd be no good to him as weak as I was getting. He needed to finish Victoria's work and finish off the Cullens and their precious Bella." He put the last part in air quotes. It definitely surprised me. Victoria created Charlie to help destroy me.

"Riley didn't know my relationship to you. Victoria only told him I was integral to the plan to kill off the Cullens. And I knew when he'd mentioned you that you must still be alive. I had to find you. Protect you. So I thought if I needed blood to stay strong, I'd kill animals rather than people. Riley laughed at first, but decided that if that's what I wanted to do in order to sustain myself, who cares. I was useful to him, as originally intended."

"Does Riley know now then?" I asked. That must have been why he was coming to Forks. Well, other than to kill me.

"I suppose he was getting suspicious when I started destroying his army." My dad gave a small chuckle. "Schmucks."

"But you said that Riley was killing off his army too," I commented.

"He was, but I went crazy. Took care of twelve of them. There's probably fifteen or so left including Riley. I don't think Riley's making any more newborns. The ones left are better controlled than the ones we killed."

"Pssshhh, only fifteen?" Emmett scoffed. "No problem. Let's go shred these guys!"

"They're not even around right now," Jake scowled. He had just checked his phone for an update from his guys. He looked disappointed. Jake wanted to fight too. It seemed as if tonight wasn't going to be the night though.

"That's good. It gives us time to prepare then," Jasper said, nodding.

"Three days," Alice informed us. "Well, two and a half at least, which is good. We can still have the wedding tomorrow!" She was bubbling with excitement once again.

"Wedding?" Charlie asked. "And you guys are all moving? Again?" He brought his gaze to bear on Edward.

**EPoV**

Charlie seemed to be scowling at me, and I was no longer bombarded with his thoughts and questions about Bella's transformation and well being like I was five minutes ago. He had other questions on his mind now. I didn't know if Charlie believed I could hear his thoughts or not, but he directed some questions at me.

_Bella's marrying you isn't she? After you hurt her like you did? You must've talked a good game to get her to forgive you, buster. I ought to…Can you really hear me?_

I swallowed once and remained calm. "Yes, Charlie, I can hear you," I answered his thought.

_Do you know haw badly you hurt her? Do you know how painful it was to see her like she was? You broke my little girl's heart, you know that? She was lifeless for so long. I should tear you limb from limb for leaving her like you did._

I flinched slightly at the images of Bella that Charlie had conjured up: her body limp in Jacob's arms as he reemerged from the woods carrying her, Bella sitting in a chair staring blankly out the window of her room, Bella waking up screaming and crying from a nightmare, her gaunt face staring at her dinner plate instead of eating. Even through the haze of his human memory, it was painful to see.

Charlie caught on quickly to how my gift worked. No wonder he'd taken so well, and so quickly, to being immortal.

"What are you thinking, Dad?" Bella asked warily, concerned for me. "Be nice," she told him sternly. She was always too good, always protective of the monster.

"It's fine, Bella," I told her. "He's just concerned about you." I could, would, endure all and any chastisement Charlie had for me. We both knew I deserved it. Bella was too forgiving, which was lucky for me, though I appreciated it more than anyone would ever realize or understand.

Suddenly, everyone felt the need to vacate the living room, even though they'd have been able to hear whatever was said no matter where they were in the house. They were just being polite I supposed, giving us a semblance of privacy.

_Oh, shit! Good luck, Eddie!_ Emmett thought. He was more amused than concerned for me, though.

_It'll turn out fine_, Alice reassured me. _Charlie's a teddy bear._ Right, _a teddy bear. A teddy bear that wanted to rip my head off. _I had already seen her vision of the wedding day, though, so I wasn't really afraid of what was to transpire between Charlie and me. I was, however, anxious to get through the conversation.

Alice, Carlisle, and Esme all vocalized how happy they were that Charlie was with us and that everything would turn out just fine as they left us in the living room.

"Charlie, I'm heading back to the Res. Mind if I tell my dad about you?" Jacob asked. "I'm pretty sure he'll be psyched about this…" Jacob made a face, rethinking his statement. "Well, he'll be glad you're not dead."

Charlie told him it'd be fine and that if Billy wanted to see him later that he'd like that but understood if Billy didn't want to see him.

"Oh, you'll at least see him at the wedding tomorrow. Hey, Bells, you still want me and my dad to…"

Bella held her finger up to stop Jacob from talking.

"Dad, Edward and I are getting married tomorrow. I know you might be mad at him from…" Bella hesitated, choosing her words deliberately so as not to hurt me, most likely, even though I deserved it and much worse for doing what I'd done in the fall.

"…from before. But it was a misunderstanding, and everything is good now." Bella looked up at me and smiled warmly. "Everything's better than good now, actually, and…well…we're getting married," she said again, summing up all that's happened with that one phrase, _we're getting married._ It pleased me that Bella believed everything was fine between us because of the fact that we were to get married. The wedding would serve as evidence of how better than good and just how fine our relationship was. It warmed my cold, dead heart considerably.

"I asked Billy to give me away and Jake was going to push him while I walked next to both of them, but now since you're here, would you push Billy's chair?" Bella looked over at Jacob briefly. He smiled faintly and nodded his approval of the request. Bella returned his small smile before turning back to face her father. Jacob was good with giving up his spot to Charlie, and he was happy that Bella still wanted Billy to give her away.

"Will you give me away?" Bella asked Charlie.

Charlie looked warily from Bella to me, thinking the question over. _Well, if Bells really wants to marry this yahoo then I have to respect that. Besides, I know she could rip his head off if she really wanted to. Don't piss her off!_

I chuckled. "I know, Charlie, and don't worry, I've learned my lesson. I only want Bella to be happy, and fortunately for me, for whatever reason, she believes I can make her happy. I'll do everything in my power to never let her down ever again," I vowed. I didn't care that I spoke these words in front of an audience; cheesy as they may have been for everyone else to have heard, they were heartfelt and true. I was blessed to have Bella back in my life, for eternity no less. I wasn't going to fuck it up again. "We have your blessing then?" I asked hopefully.

Charlie nodded. "Of course, and I'm happy to be able to be here to give my little girl away." Bella smiled widely and hugged her father, thanking him. "But just say the word, Bella, and I'll help you shred him," Charlie joked as he tilted his head in my direction.

A chorus of Me too's came from all over the house. The loudest definitely resounded from Emmett, accompanied by his evil cackle.

**A/N I am diligently working on the next chapter as you read this author's note. Be a huckleberry and click below to drop me line, would you? Thanks in advance for your reviews and thanks for reading, guys. I appreciate it. Until next time...**


	27. I Do

**A/N I'm just a scrub. I don't own Twilight. I'm only borrowing the characters.**

**Yes, I know. I know. I'm back. I'll explain myself later since you don't want me to waste your time with a long A/N. Thanks for hanging tight. Here's the next installment. GREAR, won't you?**

**Chapter 27: I do**

**BPoV**

"Charlie hates me," Edward said with a sigh as we stared up into the night sky.

"He does not hate you," I denied as I cuddled in closer to Edward, placing my head in the crook of his neck. We were in our meadow, stargazing. "He gave us his blessing," I reminded him.

"Yes, but that was because he wants you happy. I'm sure he would have given his consent had I been anyone else you wanted to marry. You heard him at the house."

"You know he was only teasing," I said, placing a kiss on the Edward's neck. I managed to stifle my smile at the memory of Charlie telling me, "Get the fire ready," after he'd told me that he'd "help you shred him."

"Dad!" I had reprimanded, swatting him lightly on his arm. I was sure Charlie had given Edward a slight smile to indicate he had been joking. I wasn't sure if Charlie added anything else in his head so that only Edward would hear, though. If so, Edward hadn't said anything to me.

Right after that, Alice had taken him to try on a couple suits for the wedding ceremony and then Jake and Tanya took him off to see Billy. Jake called his dad from the Cullens' house while Alice had commandeered my father.

Billy wasn't as shocked as we all had thought he'd be to learn that my dad wasn't dead. I believe he had said something along the lines of a sarcastic, "Of course he is," when Jake told him that my dad was now a bloodsucker. That earned Jake a smack to the arm from both Tanya and myself. Then Billy commented that everyone was going to outlive him. Perhaps Billy would consider being a member of the undead…

"Edward, stop," I said firmly. "Charlie wants me happy, and you make me happy. Nothing else matters. I'm…seventy-five percent sure Charlie likes you," I teased, "but not everyone has to like you, you know?" I poked his chest with my forefinger.

"I know. I know," he replied, squeezing me closer to him. "I'd just feel better if my future father-in-law liked me, though."

"You said yourself that he's still upset with you, Edward. It'll just take some time. You have all of eternity to get him to like you a little bit more," I offered with another kiss to his neck. "And you don't even have to waste any of it trying to woo me back," I joked.

Edward chuckled. "This is true. That would have been the difficult part anyway."

"It wouldn't have been that difficult," I countered. "Probably not anyway."

I readjusted so that I was looking straight up at the sky, but my head remained resting on Edward's chest.

"Thanks for bringing me back here," I said. "It's still lovely, even in the dark." I could still appreciate the beauty and wonder of our meadow even without the light of day.

"One last visit before we leave forever…" Edward mused.

"Again," I finished for him. How many times were either of us going to leave Forks forever? This place kept pulling us back somehow. "We've still got a wedding and a battle royal to live through," I reminded him.

"Don't worry. I haven't forgotten about either," Edward replied. "How could I? I get to marry the woman I've been waiting over a century for and plan on helping to destroy an army of newborn vampires -all in the same week! Should make for an exciting time."

I shook my head at his flippancy. Emmett, Jasper, Jake, the pack, my dad, and now Edward were all looking forward to a fight. They all seemed so confident. I wish I could have been as sure. It wasn't that I doubted their skills, but surely someone needed to be a little pessimistic and have some doubt, no matter how little there was of said doubt? It would be irresponsible not to, wouldn't it? I mean, I just didn't want us all getting too cocky and over confident.

"We're not being cocky, Bella. We're merely sure that good will beat out evil."

I gasped. "You heard me?" I asked. Edward must have heard me, but I hadn't even tried to allow him to hear. "I think my worry is creating holes in my shield," I complained. I sat up to look down at Edward.

"You didn't just open up your mind?" he asked, eyebrows raised in surprise.

I shook my head and thought about our waterfall in the Amazon. "Can you hear me now?" I asked.

Edward looked at me, concentrating a moment, but then shook his head.

"Good," I said, nodding. "Just as it should be." That made me feel a bit better. I needed to keep my anxiety in check apparently.

"I like to hear your mind," Edward said, nearly pouting, clearly not appreciating that I liked his not being able to hear me all the time.

"I know, Edward, but think about it. My mental shield is my defense. If you get to hear me accidentally, it probably means my defenses are down. That's not a good thing, especially when we have a bunch of vampires to tear up."

"You're right," he conceded. Then he paused, realizing something. "Wait. You want to fight?"

"Of course," I answered vehemently, slightly annoyed that he'd even question it. "Don't even think about leaving me out of this. I'm all in." There was no way I wasn't going to fight. But then I thought about it a heartbeat longer and added, "But you will teach me how to fight, right?"

I was apprehensive suddenly. I wanted to join my family in the fight. Of course I did, but would I be an asset? I knew the mechanics of destroying a vampire, but I had no idea how easy it would be. Aside from the animals that I'd hunted, I had never hurt another living thing in my life. I'd never even been in a fight, let alone a fight to the death. Could I, would I, be able to rip a vampire apart when push came to shove? I wondered how my dad had done it. Was it instinctive, like hunting? What about Alice and the others when dealing with James the year before? I'd never asked them how it felt to tear James' head and limbs off. How were they affected by it afterwards? After all, the Cullens were a peaceful coven. I was sure they were loath to kill others of our kind, no matter what Emmett said and no matter how evil or out of control Riley and the newborns were.

Edward regarded me with an uncertain expression. It definitely conveyed some hesitance. I would have none of it, even though I was, indeed, slightly tentative myself.

"You'll teach me how to fight, right?" I repeated with more urgency in my tone. He wouldn't answer right away. "Edward, I'm all in. Period. So there," I added with finality, crossing my arms over my chest. I didn't actually want to fight, I realized, I just couldn't bear the thought of Edward being away from me, fighting without me, getting hurt, getting killed…

I knew that if Edward died I'd follow him –but that nobody would help me destroy myself. I'd have to be at the fight, let one of the enemies take me out…

I shook my head at my morbid thoughts, glad I'd closed my mind to Edward. He would never let me anywhere near a battle, ever, if he could have heard what I was thinking.

Edward watched me quietly, enigmatically, for a second before finally nodding. I nodded as well, pleased with myself. There was something about the phrase so there that could end any discussion as far as I was concerned. I remembered using it when I was a kid. It was nice to know it still worked.

I stood up but continued to look down at Edward, waiting for him to stand up as well. He only stared back at me with an eyebrow raised.

"What? We're not starting now, are we?" he asked. He hadn't moved.

"Of course," I replied. "Why not now?"

"Bella, we'll have time right after the ceremony tomorrow to practice. I'm sure Jasper has a plan already in the works in regards to strategy. He'll want to incorporate the wolves too, probably."

I hadn't thought about that. "It makes sense, especially since they all seem keen on a battle."

"Right. And," Edward continued, "I'd really like to just focus on us and our vows tonight." This was true. Carlisle had suggested we think up our own vows or at least borrow from a famous poet or something, adding a twist to our already nontraditional ceremony. Edward and I each had a couple of books of poetry and sonnets to pick from.

We also had to put off our honeymoon a bit because of said battle. I was not pleased about it, but it helped to know that after we got through the next couple of days, I'd have Edward to myself indefinitely.

He looked up at me with his golden eyes. They shone with a glint of mischief as he flashed me his crooked smile, making me forget exactly why I'd been standing instead of lying next to him still. I smiled back as I returned to place beside Edward, resting my head on his chest once again.

"That's better," he breathed, softly massaging my scalp as he leaned in and touched his lips to the top of my head. Yes, it was better, I thought, cuddling in closer.

"Ready for tomorrow then?" I asked. I felt Edward smile against my skin. "No?" I joked.

"Not at all," Edward murmured in a fake serious tone. I chuckled as I turned my face to look at him. Edward took me by surprise and moved in closer in order to brush his lips against mine, once, twice, and then pressing them firmly, capturing my lips between his. I breathed in his scent, letting it fill my lungs. I relished in the warmth I felt being so close to him, forgetting about anything else outside of being there in the moment with Edward.

When we finally broke the kiss, I got a fresh breath of air to clear my mind from the dizzying spell Edward's kisses always put me under and commented casually, "It's too bad. That means we should probably wait a couple more decades to get married."

Edward chuckled as he shook his head. "No way," he said as he squeezed me closer to him. "But remember, we have a job to do here. This isn't just fun and games tonight, love," Edward reminded me.

"Right," I replied, reluctantly picking up a book and handing it to Edward as I broke from his embrace to sit up and grab a book for me too.

********

EPoV

The time spent in our meadow was too short, but I enjoyed every moment nonetheless. Once we'd established that Bella would fight too, we got to work perusing the books for potential vows while talking and reminiscing about our time in the meadow when she was still human, the turning point in our relationship. We didn't talk much about the James incident but more about how happy we were spending time together afterwards, my staying with her at night. I missed listening to her pulse and her heart beat, but being with Bella now, both of us immortal, was so much better than that. I'd almost forgotten why I'd refused to turn her before, and I could have kicked myself for not having done it had I known it could be like this.

Almost.

I knew I could never have brought myself to condemn her, to steal her soul. Perhaps, had I known that the outcome was inevitable –my jealous instincts would certainly have arisen to demand that my mate be bitten by me, and only me!- I might have turned her. But I would never have been able to reconcile it with my conscience.

Nevertheless, whatever the fate of our souls, I could deal with everything as long as I had Bella by my side. And truly, she was so good, there was no way any god could condemn her. Impossible. It made me feel better about being a monster.

By the time dawn broke, we had returned home, each with our own vows in mind. We'd read some poems aloud but decided to keep the poem we'd chosen a surprise to each other.

Alice had wanted to move the wedding ceremony up a couple hours in order to give Bella and me some extra hours to ourselves. As meddlesome and annoying as she could be at times, Alice definitely had her uses. She'd planned on taking the entire family hunting up north afterwards. Far, far, far up north.

"I love the way your mind works," I told her before she whisked Bella off to get her ready. We had only just come through the door.

"I know, and you're welcome," she replied smugly. Bella tilted her head, regarding me curiously. I only winked at her in response as Alice dragged her up to her room.

"Don't worry, you can thank me later, Bella," I heard Alice tell her in the same smug tone as they ascended the stairs.

"Whatever you say, Alice," Bella responded, clearly bewildered.

I was still smiling when I got up to my room and put on my suit. No tuxes. We were going low key, which made Bella happy and that made me happy.

Emmett and Jasper came into my room dressed in their suits, telling me it was almost time.

Jasper was thinking about military strategy, clearly blocking me from something. I looked at Emmett, but he had nothing but video games on his mind.

"What are you keeping from me?" I asked. I wasn't anxious since I really didn't feel any tension in the air. I just was curious why their minds weren't on the ceremony about to take place.

"Jasper doesn't want you to see what Bella looks like in her wedding dress," Emmett answered.

"Oh," I replied. "And you?"

"I was reliving the moves I should have done in order to have beaten Jazz quicker last night." He nodded, reaffirming what he had just said. He actually looked remorseful that he hadn't beaten Jasper in two straight games instead of going to a third game.

I only gave Emmett a strange look, but Jasper was quick to explain. "Emmett wasn't allowed to see Bella because Alice knew he wouldn't have been able to keep it from you."

I laughed. This was true. Emmett could never keep a secret. I wasn't really annoyed, though, because I'd get to see Bella in a little while anyway.

"Oh, but you're welcome, early, for taking Charlie with us hunting after," Emmett pointed out gleefully. He respectfully added in his head, _you don't want your father-in-law around when you're banging his daughter. Am I right, Eddie?_

"Wow, Emmett, that was really classy," I said blandly, ignoring his calling me Eddie, but all in all, it was typical Emmett. I did crack a small smile though. As happy for Charlie and Bella as I was, I really wasn't all that comfortable around Charlie yet. I wasn't sure if I'd ever be completely at ease around him after all that'd transpired. It seemed as if he'd always harbor ill feelings toward me, and rightfully so, after what I had done to Bella. He was only looking out for his daughter when he'd joked about helping her shred me…and when he told her to get the fire ready…and when he glared at me while cracking a slight smile and thought _I'm really not kidding_. I wondered if he'd ever relent. An eternity with Bella was an absolutely wonderful idea, but an eternity with Charlie threatening me…not so much.

I turned to Jasper. "Do you have a game plan yet?" I asked, referring to preparing for Riley and his army.

Jasper nodded. "Alice, Jake, and I have been talking. We'll incorporate the wolves and map it all out. I'm not worried."

I nodded as well, content and confident that we'd be fine. "Bella wants to fight too," I told them.

"Sweet!" Emmett grinned, clearly pleased. "She's gonna kick some newborn hiney!"

His excitement was contagious, and Jasper and I both nodded and chuckled in acknowledgement. Bella was very quick and, obviously, very strong. I was confident she'd hold her own just fine. I'd make sure of it. Still, I wouldn't plan on leaving her side during the battle if I could help it.

I smiled at my brothers. "Yes, I'm sure she'll be great. She's determined to join in although she's a little apprehensive. It'll be good to have everyone meet and go over the plan. Maybe practice some too? Mock fights?" I suggested.

"Got it all covered," Jasper assured me, clapping a hand on my shoulder. _And Bella __**is **__going to be great. Alice says so_.

This I already knew as well. I just wanted to get through the next few days so the rest of our lives could begin.

Right on cue, as well as being in time with my thoughts, Alice popped her head into my room and informed us to get downstairs. I chuckled to myself. Think of the devil and she will appear…

When we got down to the dining room, now bedecked with giant floral bouquets, I noted how they seemed beautiful and perfect, rather than annoying and intrusive like they had when we'd gotten back from First Beach.

I took my place in front of the small crowd and over by Carlisle, who was smiling reassuringly at me. Our witnesses, the few that there were -my family, Jacob, Tanya, Quil, and Embry- only added to the immense joy that was filling up inside of me. I looked at Esme. She beamed at me, eyes glistening as if she'd be crying if she could.

_I'm so, so happy for you, Edward_, she thought. _You deserve all the happiness in the world. You and Bella belong together._ Esme was always so kind and was as loving as my own mother was to me. I hoped I conveyed my appreciation to her when I held her gaze.

Before I could scan all the minds, though, I heard music and turned to see Charlie pushing Billy Black with one hand and with Bella's arm hooked through his as they made their way towards me. My mind and gaze stopped on Bella, looking nothing short of radiant in her pale blush pink gown. Bella was dressed, I gathered from Alice, simply yet elegantly in the strapless tulle and organza layers that stopped at the floor.

All I knew was that the dress clung to her just right and served to enhance her natural beauty. Bella's hair was pulled back in low ponytail revealing her perfect face to me, made up to simulate the light blush she used to get when she was human. I smiled nostalgically. How I loved that blush.

Bella caught my eye and we shared a moment. As she got nearer to me, Bella allowed me to hear her mind.

_I love you_, _Edward_, she thought as she smiled at me carrying a small bouquet of lilies, freesia, and lavender in her free hand. My heart swelled as she, once again, showed me how full of emotion she felt as well as all of the greatest memories she had –and it shocked me how many of them there were. The times that I'd thought were extraordinary surely couldn't have had the same emphasis for her…or so I'd thought.

The first time we'd gone to the meadow. The morning after when she'd woken up to see me sitting in the rocker in her room. Her relief upon seeing me when she'd finally gained consciousness in her hospital room in Phoenix. Dancing at the prom despite her reluctance to go and my reluctance to turn her. The countless nights I had remained with her in her room as she fell asleep next to me. Our kiss atop Camelback. The first time we made love in room 311. She was about to show me the time we were in the lagoon in the rainforest but Carlisle cleared his throat and she lost her concentration.

Billy and Charlie were waiting for me to take Bella's hand. _Edmond, it's show time, buddy_, Charlie thought, chuckling to himself.

Edmond? He was chuckling. He wasn't shooting daggers at me. This was a good thing.

Billy's shining eyes conveyed his amusement. _These two are mooning over each other like Jake and Tanya._

I snapped out of my cloud of thoughts to regain some composure. I shook Billy's hand and then Charlie's. Charlie gave me a meaningful look before letting go. _You apparently make my girl very happy so…so thanks…Edwin_. His eyes shone with some playfulness. I wondered if Emmett put any ideas in Charlie's head and let on that I didn't like to be called anything other than Edward. In any case, I could endure Charlie's teasing far more easily now that he'd accepted me.

Well, more or less anyway.

"Thank you, Charlie," I told him. He nodded at me before he kissed Bella's forehead and placed her hand in mine. Bella handed her flowers to Charlie, who then wheeled Billy over by Jake and Tanya.

Bella and I stared at each other a moment longer, squeezing our already firmly fastened hands even tighter, until they were in some danger in fusing together firmly. We then turned to look at Carlisle, who was smiling and ready to begin.

"Friends. Family. Thank you for joining us on this special day. Today we are celebrating Edward and Bella's love. They've overcome so many challenges in order to be together, fighting against the odds to make the impossible possible. And here we are, to witness their union. Are you ready for your vows?" Carlisle looked at us and we both nodded. Carlisle cued for me to go first.

There were many poems I'd wanted to use, but I didn't think any were as appropriate for us as this one by Sir Edwin Arnold:

Somewhere there waiteth in this world of ours

for one lone soul, another lonely soul -

Each chasing each through all the weary hours,

And meeting strangely at one sudden goal;

Then blend they - like green leaves with golden flowers,

Into one beautiful and perfect whole -

And life's long night is ended, and the way

Lies open onward to eternal day.

Bella bit her quivering bottom lip as I finished the poem, and my heart lightened considerably. I knew I'd chosen the right one.

"Edward, that's beautiful," she whispered. "Thank you." I was too choked up with emotion to reply verbally so I gave her hands another squeeze.

"Bella," Carlisle said softly, gently prompting her to go next. Bella nodded and breathed out a short breath.

Away from you there is no music,

There is no sunlight,

The world is gray.

Away from you

The clocks are frozen,

And time's a traveler

Who's lost his way.

I'm half alive

Until the moment

The door swings open

and you walk through,

Now my soul is afloat

On a melody of music

That I could feel such joy

I never knew.

And so you see

Why I can never be

Away from you.

It was beautiful. I hadn't ever heard the poem before. I wondered If Bella had thought it up herself in the night. Impressive.

"Thank you," I mouthed to Bella. She blessed me with a small smile that I knew would've been accompanied by her blush once upon a time.

Carlisle then had us each repeat some more traditional vows before we exchanged rings and he pronounced us husband and wife. Somehow I managed to restrain myself enough to brush my lips lightly across Bella's, a far softer and chaste kiss than the one I truly wanted to give her –but that would have to wait for later. There was thunderous applause, mostly due to the werewolves' enthusiasm and the booming sound of my brothers' stony hands.

I was flying high, my emotions running wild. She's mine now! The taste of victory was in my mouth, better than any human wine, better than any blood I'd ever tasted –even Bella's.

Only the knowledge that I'd have her all to myself in a little while, along with a desire to please Bella by staying on her father's semi-good side, kept me from throwing Bella over my shoulder and running her up to our bedroom right then and there.

It was a little ridiculous, I admitted to myself with a wry grin, that I was bowing and scraping trying to please a man more than half a century younger than me.

We visited with our guests for a while afterward and accepted their congratulations and well wishes. Esme had to hug the both of us, hard and repeatedly, informing Bella that she was officially her daughter and wishing us an eternity of happiness together.

Jake, Tanya, Billy, and the guys left after we served them cake and coffee, well, with the notable exception of Tanya. I thanked them for attending and being there for Bella.

Alice hugged us both as well, telling us how she knew our poems would be perfect and that they were. Charlie laughed as he shook my hand again, congratulating us.

_Congratulations. Keep her happy or else, Edgar_. _I'll be watching you. _Charlie narrowed his gaze slightly at me but patted my shoulder at the same time.

"Are you being nice, Dad?" Bella asked Charlie warily as she gave him another hug, thanking him for giving her away.

"Always," he replied with a shrug.

"Uh-huh," Bella mumbled in response. She poked Charlie's shoulder and told him, "Be good."

"Always," he said again. He was looking at me over Bella's shoulder, still embracing her, when he pulled a Deniro from _Meet the Parents_, forming a V with his pointer and middle fingers and then gesturing first to his own eyes then toward my eyes causing my entire family, including me, to erupt in laughter.

Bella pulled away to see what everyone was laughing at. She settled he gaze on her father who was feigning innocence with another shrug. She looked at him sideways but let it go otherwise.

It was then that Alice spoke up, asking us casually if we needed to hunt.

"We just did," Bella told her, which Alice already knew.

"Oh, okay then. Charlie, you must come with the rest of us up north to hunt," Alice insisted.

"Ummm…uhhh," Charlie stuttered, looking dubiously between Bella and me. Alice got his attention again though, placing a hand on his shoulder and giving him her most heartbreaking expression. It didn't take long before Charlie gave in. Alice certainly was dangerous.

Alice clapped and smiled excitedly before ordering everyone to go change and then leaving promptly afterwards. Yes, I needed to get my sister a nice gift for all her efforts. A nice piece of Italian jewelry, perhaps? I mused. I could get something for Bella at the same time. Roberto Coin had an innovative collection last time I looked, or maybe Orlando Orlandini…

I mulled the idea over in the back of my head as I made some small talk with the rest of the family, trying to distract myself from thoughts of my wife (my wife!) and how we would spend our wedding night together, while our family were still on the premises.

Finally, finally, they left and we had the house to ourselves, I turned my attention to my wife. My Bella.

I framed her face with my hands. "I love you, Mrs. Cullen," I whispered before I kissed her the way I really had wanted to earlier, my fingers winding their way into her hair, liberating it from its restrains so that it tumbled down her back. My hands tangled themselves in her hair holding her tightly to me as I eagerly plundered the depths of her mouth. It had taken so much of my control to just stand tamely by her side all day and it was time for my reward.

"I love you too," she replied after she finally broke away from me. I frowned at the loss of contact, but Bella held her hand out for me, so I took it. "When do you think they'll be back?" she asked.

"I'd say dawn at the earliest," I answered, glancing at the clock. It wasn't quite noon yet. We had the rest of the day and entire night to ourselves. I smiled wickedly at the thought. We would be getting a very short honeymoon after all.

**A/N Bella's poem is actually by Sarah Brightman. It's called "Away From You." Edeward's poem was by Sir Edwin Arnold and is called "Somewhere." **

**So I hoped you enjoyed the chapter. My apologies for taking so long. I haven't gone this long without posting since I started writing fanfic so it was weird for me. RL was crazy as always, and the little mouth breathers in the preschool class I was subbing in for a month made me a whole different kind of tired than I'd ever been in my life. But that's done and I start a brand new job Monday. I don't anticipate going that long without updating again, though, so there. Thanks for sticking with me, and big thanks to Phantom for doing her beta-thing even while being buried under a mountain of textbooks. I offered to give her a break from beta reading, but she snarled at me for even suggesting it. Yes, she snarled! At ME! Anyhoo, until next time, readers, holler at me. I missed you guys!**

**Also, one of my readers, Brittany, aka Le Crepuscule, and her friends started a blog that will issue contests as well as advertise others going on in the fandom. I promised I'd help with getting the word out. Check out the site. It's pretty nice, actually. Enter a contest or just explore it.  
The link can be found here:**

**fanfiction-challenges (dot) blogspot (dot) com Hopefully FF doesn't mess up what I just typed. Remember to put in the three w's before the web address.  
**


	28. Halo

**A/N Still not Steph Meyer. Hey anyone read the Bree novella? Any good? Is it wrong that I'm not the slightest bit interested in it? Give me Midnight Sun and then we'll talk.**

**I know. I"m well aware of the HUGE delay. I'd apologize, but I know you'd rather have the chapter, so here it is. GREAR!**

**Chapter 28: Halo**

**BPoV**

We barely made it to the bedroom before my dress was undone. Edward had all but ripped it off of me, growling as he did so. My bra and panties he _did_ tear right off me. Then again, that was probably because I'd shredded his suit and tie. It seemed we'd both been looking forward to –finally- having the house to ourselves. Edward scooped me up and carried me the rest of the way to the bed, placing me gently on the mattress as if I were still a fragile human. The kisses he planted on me and the pressure of his fingers nimbly working on the hardened peaks of my breasts indicated that he knew, and appreciated, just how indestructible I was now.

As strong and fierce as I was, I still reveled in his sweet breath on my body. His honeysuckle tongue stroking mine softly at first and then with more pressure as he tasted every inch of me from my temple down to my toes, and working his way back up. Once Edward's eyes met mine again, he weaved his fingers through mine, pinning my arms above my head. I bit my lip as we continued to gaze at each other as he lined his length up to my core and entered me ever so slowly. Our breathing synchronized as Edward thrust in and out of me, underscoring his vows with each stroke while whispering his words of love. I felt myself growing close to my climax, wrapping my legs around Edward, pressing my heels into his backside as my body clenched around his, both of us moaning as we shook with pleasure, coming together.

Had I mentioned before the perks of being undead? There were many. Had I still been human, I would have grown tired. I eventually would have gotten hungry. I would have needed rest. I would have required sleep.

Here's to being immortal…on your wedding night.

It was one thing having experienced it as it happened, making love to Edward for the first time as husband and wife on our new bed, on his piano bench, in his car, even in a tree again, for old time's sake. But now, equipped with my perfect vampire memory, I could relive each kiss, each caress, each stroke, each climax...

And that's what I was doing when I should have been concentrating on the task at hand: learning how to destroy newborns.

I grinned devilishly at Edward as he watched me from his spot in front of a tree. He was shaking his head disapprovingly at me but was smiling slightly himself.

"Bella," Jasper drawled quietly in my ear, "if lust were enough to kill the lot of them, you could fight them alone, but since it's not, try to focus, darlin'. I could pull your arms clean off right now."

I scowled, realizing that Jasper was directly behind me and had quite the grip on me as well. How'd I let this happen?

Edward was chuckling quietly now at my predicament. My gaze on him darkened in playful annoyance. Jasper must have felt the same way.

"And you, Edward, are distracting her. Go fight Emmett or a grizzly or something."

"No!" I pleaded. I didn't want Jasper to send Edward away, even if I was a little irked at him. "I'm fine."

With that, I head-butted Jasper with the back of my head while simultaneously breaking his hold on me and then flinging him, sending him flying dangerously close to a sequoia. He flipped in mid-air doing some fancy triple twist, landing on his feet a hundred yards away. He had avoided hitting the huge tree.

Jasper raised his eyebrows in surprise. He also looked impressed.

"See?" I smiled triumphantly as he sauntered back toward me. I noticed that the small crack I had inflicted to his forehead upon contact was smoothing out on its own. "Oh, sorry," I apologized. I had a really hard head, apparently.

My family and wolf friends were now gathered around me, clapping and howling in approval. The thunderous sound of the head-butt had caught their attention from across the field.

"Don't go for the obvious kill. Don't let them get their arms around you." I recited back the tips Jasper had given us. They had, indeed, seeped in to my Edward-filled brain somehow. "I know I let you get your arms around me, but I wanted to try the head-butting thing," I lied. Jasper regarded me dubiously. "You told me to not hold back," I reminded him.

He merely laughed. I knew he knew I was lying. Edward's laughter indicated that he knew that I knew that Jasper knew I was lying, but they both let me get away with it all the same.

"You're learning quickly, Bella," Jasper said, nodding at me with a wink.

I smiled my thanks, not only for the compliment but also for not calling me and my lusty mind out in front of everyone, namely my father.

"Okay, everyone, switch practice partners again," Jasper ordered.

We had been practicing for quite some time. Well, an entire day anyway. I felt pretty well prepared despite my lack of concentration at times, but then, we were only practicing. I had no idea how it would be during the real thing. I tried not to dwell on my apprehension, hoping my reflexes and instincts would serve me well in the heat of battle.

Edward walked up to me the same time Charlie had. I hadn't worked with either of them yet. Edward had been translating for the pack in their wolf-forms while Charlie had consulted with Carlisle and Jasper about Riley and his group.

"I'll take this dance, Edwardo," Charlie informed him jokingly. I rolled my eyes, shaking my head apologetically at Edward. There was no reigning in my dad. But then again, I found it secretly amusing.

"Of course," Edward responded, kissing the top of my head. "Have fun," he whispered, "Gold is good. I'll see you soon."

"What?" _Gold is good? _I had the look of confusion on my face, I was sure, but Edward merely tapped his temple. He must have read Charlie's mind.

"Let's go for a run, Bells," Charlie suggested.

I let my dad take the lead, running at top speed. I kept up easily with him. He climbed up a tree and I followed him, even as he leaped from branch to branch.

We ran some more with me leading for a bit. Charlie kept up pretty easily with me as well, challenging me to run faster and faster. It was exhilarating running as far and as quickly as we were. We had crossed into Canada briefly and had come back to Forks, ending up, of all places, at our house.

Luckily, it was pitch black out in the middle of the night, not that any neighbors would have detected us, but it was strange standing in front of our little house when we were both allegedly dead.

We stared at the front door in silence then walked up the steps of the porch together. Charlie reached for the key that was under the eave, as it always was. I smiled as Charlie unlocked the door, and we walked in.

"This is weird," I commented, my voice echoing throughout the small but completely empty home. We hadn't turned on any lights. We didn't need to.

"Yep. Pretty strange," Charlie replied.

"Jake and the guys packed everything and put it in storage for me. Whenever, wherever I settled, he was going to ship it all to me," I explained.

Charlie nodded. "And Billy's selling the house."

"Yep. Oh, and Dad, all the insurance money, it's yours. I won't be needing it." I gave him a wry smile. "Actually, I don't think you'll be needing it either." The Cullens had taken us both in. I was pretty sure they'd make sure Charlie would be just as cared for as I would be.

"I suppose in the world of mythological creatures, we landed with the cream of the crop."

"I'll say," I replied as we both sat down on the floor with our backs against the wall in what used to be the living room. "We hit the jackpot actually." Literally _and _figuratively.

"I really like how they all look after you, Bells, especially Edward. It'll make me feel better when I'm away from you for a while."

I furrowed my brow, confused. "What are you talking about, Dad? Where are you going? Aren't you going to stay with us?" I'd only just found him again.

"Relax, Bells. Yes, I'm staying with the Cullens a while."

I heaved a sigh of relief but then wondered what he was talking about before.

"Alice has convinced me to join you, not that I needed convincing. I only just found you again," he continued.

I smiled. Like father like daughter.

"But I know you and Edward will want some time together to…" he was struggling a moment to find the right words, "_travel together_." I pressed my lips together to keep from laughing. "I know you know that's code for…honeymoon," he added. "He's all right, you know. He seems to worship you, which is how it should be. And I know you'll put him in his place if he steps out of line. You know I'll help you put him in his place if you want me to," he chuckled. "I think the big guy, Emmett, is with me on that as well, by the way."

I laughed. Of course, Emmett had always had my back.

"Hey," I had just realized something. "You called Edward Edward just now."

Charlie smiled. "That's because he's not around."

"Dad," I laughed, shoving him slightly.

"I know. I know. You want me to call him by his correct name from now on," he groaned.

"Actually, I think it's kind of funny. Keeps him humble, don't you think? But don't tell him I said that," I laughed.

"Atta girl," Charlie said, high-fiving me.

We sat there silently a while longer until I broke it.

"You nervous about tomorrow?" I asked. "I mean, later today?"

"Nah. You?"

"A little…a lot," I admitted. "What's it like, Dad, killing other vampires?"

Charlie contemplated his answer before responding, "It's no picnic. Physically, it's pretty easy. You're strong and quick. It'll be cake to tear them to pieces."

"But…" I interjected, expecting more.

"_But_," Charlie continued, "psychologically, it's tough. I don't know how _living_ they are, correction _we_ are, on the _alive_ spectrum, but we're still going to be putting an end to lives. I just wanted to prepare you, baby. Get you in the right frame of mind for this since I know better than to expect you to sit it out. You wouldn't consider sitting it out, would you?"

I merely cocked an eyebrow up at my dad and looked at him like he was out of his mind.

"Didn't think so," he said shaking his head. "It was worth a try. Stubborn," he complained. He hit the nail on the head that time.

"While I haven't killed many people…," I began to say.

Charlie just gave me a strange look.

"All right," I conceded, "I haven't killed anybody, actually. That being the case, I find it's significantly easier to want to destroy people hell bent on destroying me first. Or people hell bent on killing my family, for that matter. I'm fiercely loyal, I'll have you know."

"Oh, I'm aware. You get that from me, of course. Alice told me all about that crazy Irina, too." Charlie shook his head. "Vampires. Werewolves. It's like you somehow attract danger, kiddo."

My jaw dropped. This was, indeed, weird.

But I had a theory. "Perhaps, it only seems as if I'm a danger magnet, but maybe, in actuality, it's just to prove that I _can_ hold my own. Huh?" This was completely plausible in my mind. I'd have to run this one by Edward later.

"Sure. Sure," my dad conceded, nodding. "Good point."

We remained at the house for a couple hours longer, just talking. It was strange talking to my dad about my childhood, life, death, and being undead. We talked about hunting. Charlie preferred moose, which was too gamey for my palette. He was amused by the fact that I apologized to my prey even still.

"You get that from your mom, I think," he chuckled.

We decided that we were both really fast runners and good escape artists due to Victoria turning us. Maybe traits of the creating vampire transferred to their newborn. It was another theory, but it made sense to me as well. Victoria was amazingly elusive…well until the end there.

We talked about my power and how I was still learning to hone it. Charlie was pretty impressed, thinking it made me pretty formidable in my own right. I supposed that it did, if I ever gained complete control of my shield. I loved that I could pretty much turn my thoughts off and on for Edward to hear. That was getting a lot easier.

As for my dad, it turned out, Charlie thought his power, if he had one, was the ability to tell if someone was lying. That definitely made sense, what with his being a sheriff in his human life. Or maybe it was a parent thing?

"It's pretty much how I can tell that Edward is sincere about his feelings for you. It's still forming, though, I think. I sort of see a light or aura now around people when they talk. Unfortunately, since he can read thoughts, he knows that I know that he's sincere. There goes my leverage," he grumbled.

I had to laugh at that. "Dad, I'm pretty sure you still have leverage. Edward just wants you to like him. Hey, what color do you see when someone's lying or being honest?"

"It started out as just a gut feeling, but now I see sort of yellowish gold for the truth and other colors depending on the degree of truth bending and lying. Like during the wedding, when you and Edward were reciting your poems, I saw gold. Pure gold." He nodded his approval. Now that was a pretty cool gift.

With all the honesty talk, though, I finally got a chance to apologize.

"Dad, I'm really sorry you got dragged into all of this…supernatural crap. I'm so happy, though…beyond happy, really, that you're still alive, er, whatever we are. After the train derailment and explosion," I paused to sigh and try to hold back some emotion. I shook my head. "Mom and Phil," I sobbed. "That's all my fault, you know?"

Charlie reached his arm around my shoulders and pulled me close. "It wasn't, Bells," he negated. I wouldn't have it, though. It _was_ my fault.

"And then when I lost you too, Dad, I couldn't stand it. I should have died about ten times over, not any of you guys." It really wasn't fair.

"And now, you're condemned too, but I get to still have you around. It's so sick, isn't it? I'm sorry for everything that's happened, but I'm happy at the same time. I just wish Mom and Phil…"

"Shhh," Charlie hushed me, hugging me even tighter. "Beating yourself up won't change anything, Bells. It's life, though, you know? The good comes with the bad. We wouldn't be able to taste the sweet if we didn't know what bitter was like. Believe me, this whole vampire business took a while to get used to. Hell, I'm still not used to it, but if I think about it, I'm immortal today because you came here to Forks to live with me, so…what I'm saying is, I'd rather be a vampire having had you come back here than still human _without_ my baby girl in my life."

Another sob ripped through me as I clung even more firmly to my dad. He was more than I deserved.

"Thanks, Dad. I love you."

"I love you too, baby."

We remained silent, but still held on to each other a while longer. It wasn't until right before dawn broke that we decided to head back to the Cullen house just as I got a text from Edward.

**Alice says they're coming. Very soon.**

We bolted back at top speed.

**A/N Dun dun DUN! Thanks for hanging tight, guys. So are you in the mood for a little fight? Send me some love...and luck. I'm playing in the National Kubb Tournament in Eua Claire, Wisconsin today. DOn't know what Kubb is? Google it. Unity. Peace. Kubb. Review! Love you!**


	29. The Battle

**A/N Yes, I'm still alive, but I am still not Stephenie Meyer. She probably would have had an entire novel written between the time of my last update and now. My apologies, readers. We all know how busy RL can be and let's leave it at that while accepting this update as a belated Christmas present or a Festivus miracle. Your choice.**

**Happy belated birthday to my girl lovee, and big ups to Phantom, my beta extraordinaire. You guys don't even know about her skills. Truly. And speed. I think she IS a vampire!**

**Anyhoo, here's what you want...I think. If you've forgotten what's happened, go back and reread the last 28 chapters. Go ahead. I'll wait...**

**Actually, Camilla10, gave me the briliant idea to recap, in case you, like her, are following like 200 stories or something crazy like that, and may not recall my silly story here. **

**ATO is an au New Moon. The Cullens left. Bella's parents are dead at the hands of Victoria, who turned Bella. Jake helps her in her new life as a vamp. He encourages her to find the Cullens. She sets out for Brazil. Edward finds out, catches up to her, helps her deal with bloodlust and ultimately gets with Bella again (I know, she went way too easy on him but Bella being Bella is very forgiving and I wanted to move the story along). They hang out on Isle Esme with the Cullen fam after a small adventure in the Amazon Rainforest, then head back to Forks where Irina is all angry and crazy. Jake imprints on Tanya (people were pissed about this, but I still find it amusing so I don't care). Edward and Bella get married-oh, Charlie is now a vampire, having been turned by Vicotria-all part of Vicky's plan of revenge. Riley is headed back to Forks to finish Bella off for Victoria but what he doesn't know is that the Cullens and wolves are ready for the newborn army. Whew! And here we are. Hope that helps.**

**Oh and then GREAR please; I've missed you all so!**

**Chapter 29: The Battle**

**BPoV**

If I had thought that time moved slowly before I was immortal, I had been sorely mistaken. Time moved even more slowly when you had an eternity to live it, well, at least it had so far for me. Those two hours waiting for maniacal newborns to come and try to destroy us, and perhaps all of Forks, were particularly excruciating.

Charlie and I rushed back to the house as soon as I received the message from Edward. Once there, we left to meet Jake and his pack in the clearing where the Cullens had played baseball, once upon a time. It was where James had first seen, and consequently, decided to hunt me. How poetic that this would be the scene where his mate's scheme of revenge would come to culmination, since this was where Alice saw the fight was to occur. She had also seen that there were more than the fifteen or so newborns Charlie told us about.

Far more.

"How many are we talking?" Jasper asked Alice.

Alice paused a moment before answering, "Twenty-five or so."

My eyes bugged. Twenty-five! I started to panic but somehow managed to squelch the nerves, though it might have been Jasper's waves of calm or Jake, in his wolf-form –just a giant, oversized dog really- rubbing the top of his head against my hand. I couldn't help but ruffle the fur there.

"Jacob says to calm down, Bella," Edward informed me.

Jake growled and Edward looked at him crossly.

"Fine, but I won't actually curse," Edward retorted, rolling his eyes at my friend. "Jacob actually said, 'Calm the eff down, Bells. We got this.'"

A few chuckles rang out from among the group, including me, and a "Right on, bro!" from Emmett. I continued to scratch between and behind Jake's ears.

"Okay, I'm trying and I know," I told him. "But twenty-five?" I was still shocked by the number. "I thought Riley was Mister Population Control. What's he doing?" As if I weren't already irritated with this Riley character.

"Riley must think the more of them there are, the easier it'll be for him to get to Bella," Charlie supposed. "These newborns are decoys. Riley doesn't really care what happens to them. They're sacrificial whether they destroy each other or get destroyed by us. I'm sure he'll manage to get them here to fulfill their duties. His job, as prescribed by Victoria, is to get you," my dad told us all, but looked pointedly at me.

A shiver went down my spine. This was getting so…real. Riley had me marked. He was determined to carry out Victoria's wish.

"Not going to happen," Charlie added. My dad put his hand on my shoulder. "No way in hell." I noticed Charlie had a pained expression on his face, like he was thinking about something truly horrible. I wondered if he had maybe foreseen something, too, even though he didn't have Alice's gift.

A lifetime as a cop, even a small town cop, had probably given him his own kind of foresight.

"What's the matter, Dad?" I asked, unable to hide my concern.

"She won't, Charlie," Edward told him. "You know that."

My dad merely nodded, looking a little defeated now.

"I won't what?" I asked looking from my dad to Edward.

"Sit it out," Edward answered.

My jaw dropped. I couldn't believe my dad would even consider me not helping my family. All I could do was berate him with an expression that I hoped conveyed my incredulity. We had already talked about it, for crying out loud.

"No way," I said to my dad, shaking my head. Especially now that the newborn army had increased in size. "I'm fighting." There were no other options. Period. "Jasper." I spoke without looking at him, instead, keeping my eyes on my dad. I wanted Jasper to move us along, tell us where we needed to be while we waited for Riley and his group. I also wanted to make it clear that this sit it out discussion was through.

Jasper went over the plan. Jake and his entire pack, save for Seth, would hang back in the trees surrounding the clearing, waiting for the army to come after some of us, allowing them to strike first and then taking them by surprise in an all out wolf ambush. We were sure that Riley'd never expect it, and would be unable to tell that the wolves were different by scent alone, seeing as he'd probably never come across them before. After that, well, let the wild rumpus start. This was where the wild things would be, today anyway.

Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, Emmett, Tanya, Alice, Jasper, and Emmett were to be on the front line while Edward, Charlie, Seth, and I were to wait in the trees on the other side of the clearing. Seth would serve as not only a fighter but the communications correspondent, as he declared himself. I heartily applauded the choice as he not only got on with Edward the best, but was the youngest in the pack and would be better protected with us than had he been in the melee. Between Edward and Seth, we could keep in communication with the rest of the pack.

I was annoyed with the idea of waiting on the other side. I wanted to be with the others. I didn't want them to bear the brunt of the attack. I would have voiced my opinion, but I didn't want to second-guess Jasper.

It's never wise to piss off an expert.

Besides, from what Charlie was talking about earlier, the sacrificial newborns would be sent first anyway. I had full confidence that the front-liners and the wolves would be able to take care of business. Riley would probably be hanging back himself, letting the battle progress without him. It was me he was after. Well, what he didn't know was that I had him marked, too. He was what remained of Victoria's legacy. Actually, I supposed, Charlie and I were also a part of that legacy, but Riley represented the evil part of it. The anger I felt towards Laurent and Victoria I couldn't actually take out on them, but Riley was still alive, for the time being.

My jaw was set; my mind was made up. Riley was mine. I wasn't yet sure how I'd destroy him, but his demise would come about by my hands.

I looked up at Edward as we walked across the clearing. I realized with my mind being made up, Alice must have known. I knew he didn't really want me to fight but knew better than to challenge me on the matter. I wondered if he had heard Alice's mind yet.

I noticed Edward's expression had hardened as well, but when his eyes met mine, they softened infinitesimally. He nodded once.

"But I reserve the right to assist."

I gave him a nod and a half-smile in return. I wouldn't have expected any less from him.

"Me, too," Charlie added with authority. I didn't think he knew what we were talking about, though. "What's going on? You thinking of doing something crazy, Bells?" he asked.

"Nothing you wouldn't do, Dad." I was certain Charlie would take Riley down himself if he had the chance. "But I'm calling dibs on your friend Riley."

"He's no friend of mine," Charlie spat. "But I'm with Edgar." My dad tilted his head toward Edward just as Edward cracked a small smile that conveyed how he was slightly irritated but was being a good sport about it. I merely rolled my eyes at my father as he continued without missing a beat. "I reserve the right to assist as well."

A growl rumbled from Seth, and we three turned to look at him.

"Seth is in on the assistance as well," Edward told me.

I blew out a breath and nodded. "Thanks, Seth," I said as I tapped my fist against his nose and then patted the top of his head.

Three vamps and a werewolf for one little newbie. Riley-boy was going down for sure.

Once on the other side of the field, we stood just inside the forest, on the cusp of the trees and clearing. We could still see the other side of the clearing where our friends and family stood waiting, their backs turned to us, facing the trees over there.

"How close?" I asked Edward in practically a whisper. Just then the wind shifted and their scent washed over me in a rush, sending my senses into overdrive, much like an adrenaline rush would have done back when I was human. I could feel the ground start to reverberate as they approached, a sign of their imminent appearance.

I instinctively reached out for Edward's hand, grasping it tightly. I was crushing it like I had when we rode in the taxi together, but this time, it wasn't because I was trying to keep from killing a human.

No, this time it was because I was trying to hold back my instinctive need to kill vampires. To kill these intruders who had come to my territory and threatened my family.

A growl rumbled low in my throat. Edward squeezed my hand in warning. I stopped.

I wasn't at all sure as to what I should expect as far as how the brawl would start, except that we were to wait for them to strike first. Would any words be spoken or would some random vampire jump out ahead of the others and provoke us? It didn't take long for me to get the answer to my questions.

Some newborns emerged from the trees. There were eight at first. Their clothes were wet, clinging to their bodies. They must have walked right through the river to get here. They saw our eight waiting for them. One of the newborns, a man with dark brown hair who couldn't have been older than twenty-one, assessed our group. His lip curled up into a defiant sneer.

"That's not Riley," Charlie whispered.

"He's thinking they've got us outnumbered," Edward said. "As soon as he gives the signal, the rest will come out."

Emmett and Jasper stepped toward this man. Emmett looked as if he had his arms crossed over his chest. I could only imagine the fierce look on his face.

"You don't want to do this," Jasper warned. He was giving them an out. The man looked insulted.

"We've got them!" the man yelled, and as he did so, ten more vampires emerged.

The first man smiled even wider as Carlisle and the rest of the group started backing up towards the middle of the clearing. To the newborns, it looked as if they were retreating, but really they were leading them to an ambush.

The first man leaped at Emmett. Was he stupid? Emmett outweighed him by twenty pounds at least. Emmett easily picked him off and threw him at a tree for his impudence. Another vampire came at Emmett as the first one was getting up and coming back, but Emmett moved quickly and that vampire hit the ground. Emmett stepped on his back as the first guy jumped at Emmett again. He hadn't learned his lesson yet and was deflected, once again, this time behind Emmett and in the direction of Tanya.

Tanya leaped into the air and kicked him back towards Jasper, who easily caught him and held him still as Alice ran over to twist and rip his head off as easily as if she were plucking a daisy from its stem.

Emmett had his guy's limbs already torn off and tossed toward the middle of the field.

It was like watching a game being played. Vampire sport. Maybe they had a supernatural Olympics?

While all that was happening, the other six plus the newly emerged ten ran at the rest of the Cullens just as Jake and the wolves attacked from either side of the field. The wolves were extremely fast and ready to kill.

The newborns didn't know what hit them. Carlisle and Esme worked together to eliminate two vampires while Rosalie took care of two on her own.

There was nothing but growling, thunderous clashes, and the sound of body parts being ripped off.

I kept watch on the trees on the other side. Five more vampires came out and joined in the fight while a few stood watching from the trees.

"Yep, that's him," Charlie said. "The blond one."

That was when the four of us stepped out. The vampires in mid-battle with the wolves and front-liners didn't notice us, but Riley and his two cronies did.

He looked from Charlie to me and ran across the clearing in the blink of an eye. Just like that we were face to face with him and two of his army.

Riley was crouched, ready to pounce, so were his friends.

"Charlie," Riley greeted my dad, sounding half amused. "We meet again."

"Riley," my dad spat. He was crouched, too. Edward, Seth, and I were also in ready position.

"Donald," Riley cued, and one of his friends leaped at Edward. Edward leaped up at him at the same time. The sound of their bodies crashing nearly distracted me from the other guy jumping onto Charlie, pinning him for only a moment until Charlie turned the tables and pinned him.

I couldn't help but call out, "Dad!" to warn him.

Riley's head jerked; he was looking at me.

"Dad?" Riley smirked. "So, this was why Charlie became so interested in sustaining his strength." He eyed me up and down.

All I could do was scowl at Riley in return as my dad wrestled with his opponent. I quickly glanced down at Charlie. He had the guy pretty much beat, but then Riley pounced on my dad. I moved to prevent him from making purchase on my dad's neck, thundering into Riley, pushing him away from Charlie. I heard a huge tear just as I was able to get Riley away.

I was successful. I had Riley pinned to the ground, but I noticed he was holding onto to something. An arm. My eyes bugged again in realization. In pulling Riley away from my dad, I had helped Riley tear off Charlie's left arm. Fuck!

I was so enraged, I head-butted Riley, creating a crack in his forehead, like I had in Jasper's, but this time, I didn't allow time for the crack to smooth out. I head-butted his chin, let my right fist loose on the side of his head, and then kneed his throat, keeping him in place. I gripped his face, now like cracked porcelain, and did just what I saw Alice do before but not before Riley bit my hand. I grimaced but I was able to move my hand to get a better grip on his head. _Twist and pull_, I told myself. The next thing I knew, I had a detached head in my grasp. A detached human head! It felt like a combination of removing a bottle cap from the bottle and breaking a cracker all at the same time; it was that easy!

I tossed his head to the side and went to rip off his arms, making sure to remember where Charlie's arm was. I was going to finish dismembering him, but Edward was already over by me, doing the rest. Our eyes met briefly before mine were looking around for Charlie.

He and Seth were walking towards Edward and me. Charlie's mouth was moving; he was speaking but I couldn't hear him. Only one thing was going through my mind: Charlie only had one arm!

"Edward! Charlie's arm," I spoke, shocked, panic-stricken.

"I know. It'll be all right," he reassured me.

"But," I choked out, locating and then staring at the limb on the ground. I couldn't believe I did that to my dad!

"Bella, look at me," Edward ordered.

My lip quivered as I tipped my chin up to look Edward in the eye.

"It'll be all right, love. I promise."

**A/N Eh, who actually needs both arms anyway...for all of eternity? YIKES! Now review!**


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